Lou fiddled with his fork as he made his way through his breakfast of eggs, toast, and sliced apple.
The house was quiet, his breakfast delicious, the birds were singing outside…
Yet the monk was restless beyond reason.
Tivera’s test could start at any time, and furthermore… the trials didn’t necessarily occur one right after the other. Sometimes there were rest days, or even weeks in between each test.
“Waiting is awful.”
With a sigh, Lou closed his eyes.
Alright, let’s think back… Tivera’s trials in the past… he tested the priests selected by Berra, Heleka, and Cantusil. For Berra he chose challenges to help the priest remember that laughter always has a place between loved ones. For Heleka’s priest it was that excitement isn’t always the antithesis to peace. For Cantusil’s priest, it was about confidence when performing…
Lou stood and brought his dishes over to his sink with its pump handle. He stared blindly out the window over the pump handle at the peaceful forest.
Tivera said that he was going to base my trials off of who I am… he called me a sad priest, but also seemed a bit annoyed at the end…
“Another issue here though is that every priest unlocks new abilities with these trials. If I keep unlocking them so quickly, the temple will eventually find out and then I’m going to have a hard time letting me live that peaceful life with everyday battles.”
Lou gripped the edge of his sink and hung his head. “Should I just hide inside another day?”
He swallowed with difficulty. “It’s going to happen no matter what I do… I guess… I’ll get it over with…”
Pushing off from the sink, the monk made his way to the front door.
Upon taking his leave for the town, he did his best to think of his work and not anything about whatever unpleasantness Tivera had dreamed up for him.
As he traveled up toward the gate of entrance of Oxby, he shifted the reins in his hand nervously, his palms already sweating.
“Let’s see I… I have to talk to Mr. Crimmins about recruiting more of the men for the choir. Maybe if we get a few more people recruited we can add music to the next sermon,” Lou began murmuring in an effort to calm himself back down.
As his cart proceeded to roll by the two guards, Lou gave his usual morning nod toward them, though his eyes remained locked on the road.
A funny garbled choke however drew his full attention to the guards, though he didn’t stop his pony as he did so.
Lou was alarmed to discover then that the guards were doubled over, with their hands covering their mouths as they howled in laughter.
The monk blinked, and wondered if they were perhaps still drunk from the night before while continuing on his way.
Except… it kept happening.
Every person he passed, they all would cover their mouths, and end up laughing hysterically.
By the time Lou reached his chapel, he figured out what was happening.
My first test…
He nodded to an older woman who was striding down the road. She had tight white curls in her hair, a smart mustard colored suit, and with the tip of her nose tilted upward, gave off a no nonsense impression.
However even she, when she happened to glance toward the monk, revealed rounded hazel eyes that bulged from her head as her cheeks filled with hair, and she snorted in laughter.
“Tivera… that bloody…” Lou climbed down from his cart driver’s seat while barely stopping himself from cussing out a god, and did his best to unlock the chapel doors as quickly as possible as the sound of guffaws and giggles sounded around him.
He could feel his hands tremble, making the keys jangled in his hands. Then he proceeded to drop said keys onto the stoop, making Lou’s cheeks flame red as he hastily bent down, and could hear the laughs around him grow louder and louder. At last he unlocked the door, slipped inside the chapel, and slammed it shut once more.
Lou’s heart raced in his chest, and his breaths came out ragged.
“Okay… Okay this is definitely Tivera’s test, but… is this it? They just laugh when they see me? Or is it that something else happens? How long will this last?”
He dropped his face to his hands and rubbed it vigorously.
Then, he took a deep steadying breath, relished in the quiet of his chapel and set his sights on the vestry.
“It’s fine. I’ll just work on my next sermon and not worry about the choir for the day.”
Doing his best to steady himself, Lou strode purposefully to the back of the chapel.
Yes, everything would be fine, all he needed to do was avoid everyone for a day. Maybe two. Then maybe he could get a bit of rest before the next annoying test Tivera designed for him began…
***
By the fifth day of the incessant laughter, Lou was ready to throttle Tivera.
“I understand now why Reckish is on poor terms with him,” he growled to himself as he passed by the guards who were already on the ground clutching their sides while laughing.
Lou scowled at them. “Lucky buggers won’t even remember this happening.”
At least he assumed not. Most of the time those who act strangely during the trials weren’t aware of it at all. They would simply remember the entire experience as Lou being the one acting oddly.
At least I haven’t seen Oliver since the other day. Otherwise I really might have lost it. The monk reflected on this small mercy as he continued steering the cart toward his chapel cart as the familiar cacophony of laughter surrounded him.
Once his pony had finally pulled to a stop in front of the chapel however, he was back to thinking that absolutely everything was bloody awful when he found Lieutenant Crimmins waiting for him.
The man still had his back to Lou, so he was still upright and in possession of his faculties.
Which was when an idea occurred to the monk.
“Lieutenant Crimmins, I’m going to ask that you not look directly at me. Keep staring at the chapel doors, please.”
The man had already started to turn around but stopped part way, though even at a glance of his profile Lou could see his request had made the lieutenant raise a perplexed eyebrow.
“Is everything alright, Brother Lou?”
“Yes, yes. Everything is perfectly fine I just… I… I am trying a new form of meditation where I don’t look into anyone’s face for a few days to truly listen to their souls.”
It was utter nonsense, but Lou was desperate. He had already written and revised his sermon four times, and while he had put up with the town’s affliction relatively well for the first two days, he was quickly becoming stir crazy stuck in his vestry.
“Ah…” Lieutenant Crimmins nodded slowly.
Lou was grateful that despite the ludicrous answer, the man listened and didn’t turn around.
“What can I help you with today, Lieutenant?”
“Well, Brother Lou… it’s been a while since our first meeting, and I wondered if you had drafted a practice schedule for the choir.”
“Ah,” the monk perked up. “Of course! Yes! I was thinking perhaps there could be two rehearsals a week in the event some of the men have conflicting schedules.”
“That would work. The men take turns with night and day shifts, so if you were able to hold one in the evening and the other in the morning at their changeover I’m sure that would help.”
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Lou beamed. “Excellent. How many men have decided to join the choir?”
“There are about six in total, including myself.”
“Wonderful!”
“In fact, a few of them are free right now if you don’t mind speaking to them. They are a little… Hesitant to commit fully.”
Lou nodded in understanding.
“Do they… do they have to keep their backs to you as well?”
The monk faltered at the question.
With a cringe, Lou looked around himself. He was distracted by a couple that were beginning to stroll closer to them that had yet to lay eyes on the monk, and so his mind sped through solutions, until he blurted out,
“I… I have an idea.”
He would come to wish he had just said the men had to have their backs to him… as his suggestion wound up making things all the more… well… peculiar.
***
“Err… Brother Lou, was it?” One of the soldiers shifted awkwardly beside the piano.
“Yes?”
“Why… are we in blindfolds exactly?”
Lou stared at the three men all wearing strips of black cloth tied around their eyes. Lieutenant Crimmins had excused himself to find a blindfold of his own, and so the soldiers were left alone with the monk.
“It is… for… meditation. I’m working on a particular kind of prayer and… and besides. This will force you to really listen to each other while singing!” he babbled while trying to sound confident.
The men before him shifted awkwardly.
“Now, do any of you have any previous experience in a choir? Or singing in general?”
One man coughed.
Lou sighed. “What’re your names?”
“Brock.”
“Keeler.”
“Vetner.”
The three men relayed to the monk one right after the other as though rehearsed.
“Those are your last names I take it?”
“Yes, sir,” the three men chorused in perfect unison.
“I… see… Right. Well… let us go about finding your ranges, men!”
Lou threw his finger into the air and swept over to the piano. He was starting to feel in fine spirits despite being in the middle of a test from Tivera. Oh to hear beautiful music again…
“Err… Brother Lou… before we start, I just want to say we really only joined because Lieutenant Crimmons insisted, but after we give it a try, we might not… stick around,” the man who had said his name was Keeler announced awkwardly while clasping his hands tentatively in front of himself.
Lou eyed his bowed head with its straight black hair calculatively. There had to be a reason the lieutenant had specifically picked these men…
“I am not asking you to worship the gods. Singing can be something you do for your own enjoyment and betterment.”
“People are going to laugh at us.”
Lou felt the blood drain from his face as he looked at the man named Vetner, who had light brown hair that looked in need of a thorough washing. The poor man didn’t know he set Lou’s right eye twitching.
“People are going… to laugh…? People laugh all the time! Every day! So what?! Is it enough to drive you mad? Yes! But they aren’t laughing at you they are laughing at me!”
None of the men knew how to respond to the monk’s unhinged response.
“Brother Lou, I’m sorry if we’ve… insulted you? Somehow? But-”
“I think you all are missing the wisdom in Brother Lou’s words.”
Lieutenant Crimmins made Lou give a small start as the man gradually felt his way down the aisle toward them with his blindfold already tied on.
“Lieutenant! We’re so sorry, we didn’t see you!”
The three men tried to salute, but unbeknownst to them, they were all facing in different directions as they did so, and furthermore, none of them had guessed his approximate location correctly.
Lou felt a pang of guilt for his part in the ridiculous scene before him, but reconciled that they wouldn’t have been able to converse at all if they were falling over themselves laughing.
“Now you all listen here. What Brother Lou was saying to you all, is that people may laugh, but a strong man takes it. They take it because it’s better they laugh at you than someone weaker who can’t handle it.”
Lou felt his heart thud against his chest and his vision sharpen.
He stared at the Lieutenant mesmerized, but the military man was not finished.
“Did I not train you to be strong?”
“You did, sir!”
“Did I not train you to defend and shield the weak?”
“You did, sir!”
“So there. You are singing because maybe some of the men in our barracks wish to. Maybe singing could help one of them, and we should be strong enough to help them feel that it is okay, and who knows… maybe we, too, will learn something from this. So who cares if people laugh. Let them.”
One of the men sniffled.
Lou continued staring at the lieutenant at a complete loss for words.
He hadn’t been trying to say that at all. He’d honestly just gone a wee bit mental…
“Isn’t that right, Brother Lou? That’s what you were trying to tell the men.” The lieutenant’s head swiveled around as though looking for Lou.
The monk slowly seated himself down on the piano bench, his hands on his knees as he stared in open admiration at the Lieutenant. “You took the words right out of my mouth, Lieutenant. I…” he paused. He felt… humbled. They didn’t need to know he himself had momentarily lost sight of the purpose of the choir.
“Lieutenant, I think I am very lucky that these soldiers have you to guide them.”
The military leader gave a small nod of his head, and a faint half smile.
Lou smiled back, even though none of the men could see it.
Then Lieutenant Crimmins took another step, proceeded to trip, and crashed into all three of his soldiers so spectacularly that they all found themselves in a tangled heap on the floor.
Lou stared wide eyed at them.
“I-Is everyone…?”
“Oh we’re–” Brock began to say then grunted as Vetner’s hand accidentally smacked him across the face as they all flailed about trying to sit up– “fine.”
The monk nodded grimly to himself.
He then looked to the ceiling and tried not to gape too openly at the men as they struggled to untangle themselves from each other.
The first sermon I give that they all attend… I better give them the best biscuits money can buy…