CHAPTER 5: CLEANUP
"You zortthwapp yudblats dog!" Eugene bellowed at me, limp-stomping closer and shaking his fist. "You qurltblow my fucking kill! Fleb gleb urwu fucking Skill you zlorb glotz dog! Blah blah this stupid caravan blah my money blah blah blah fucking Skill! [angry words] [angry words] [angry words] [angry words] [angry words] [angry words]!"
I gave him a vapid head-tilt / tongue-loll, because I was aggravated at his terrible behavior and this seemed like it would probably annoy him more than anything else I could do. Also, my ribs were hurting, a lot, and I didn't want to do anything energetic.
"Eugene, calm down," Marcus said, patting the air. He gave a tired sigh and looked at the shredded, bleeding, smoking carcass of the lizard. "Estelle, get Lissi and Faffi," he called over his shoulder. "Marza, ibble bibble. Ughgle buggle cut it up." He pulled out his knife and knelt down.
"Fucking riggleblog!" Eugene shouted. "Wabble fucking babble! Fuck blah blah fucking blah my fucking kill you blah fuck blah blah blah blah fuck blah! I blah blah look for that fucking blah blah blah blah I fucking blah with this caravan, you blah fucking blah! Marcus, you blah me that fucking Skill blah blah!"
Marcus took a deep, calming breath. He was between me and Eugene-the-giant-poophead and facing me, so I could see him very deliberately put a smile on his face before turning around. He and Eugene babbled back and forth at each other. Eugene was furious, red in the face and screaming while jabbing his finger at the lizard's smoking body. Marcus was calm and apologetic. They were talking too fast for me to follow, but I caught a few words here and there—'fire' came up several times, as did 'Skill', 'armor', 'kill', 'no', and a large number of uses of 'fucking'—but after a while I stopped paying attention.
Character Sheet, I thought.
Character Sheet Name Athos Physique * Recovery * Spirit * Restoration * Channeling 26 (+) Essence 101/101 (+) Recuperation 120 (+) HP 84/1010 MP 215/1010 Attunement Supreme Exemplar (MAX) Physique: +1 (MAX) General Fund 3942 Status Effects Internal Bleeding
Eep.
My hit points were at 84 out of 1,010? Yikes. I was bleeding internally? Double yikes! On the positive side, good thing that I was there, because Mr. Poophead would have been a red smear if he'd taken those hits. With any luck he would stop yelling at Marcus sometime soon so that I could get some help.
Also, ow.
Lightheadedness washed over me and I decided this was a lovely time to lie down and not do much of anything. Even taking a deep breath sent ripping lances of pain through my side, specifically from where the tail-slap from the lizard had crunched in my ribs. In fact, as the terror of the fight wore off I was noticing more and more pain. The slightest move felt like I had shards of glass grinding around inside me. Walking was simply not in the cards right now, and I really hoped that no one thought they were going to ride me back to the caravan.
{Excuse me,} I whimpered. {I can't believe I'm saying this, but I'd really like to go to the vet.} My head was starting to spin and I couldn't get a lot of volume into the words.
Our little party had spread out, each to their own tasks, and no one was paying attention. Eugene and Marcus were arguing. Bjorn was sitting on the ground, swaying slightly. Marza had draped herself over the lizard's carcass and was lying there, her entire body flaccid and shivering. Whatever she had done to kill the thing had taken a huge amount out of her; she was breathing as shallowly as I was.
Estelle led the speckle-nosed mare over the hill, Lissi and Faffi on the mare's back with Tamar and Zoola walked beside her. From what I'd seen, the mare was a placid and rather dim little thing, but sweet; she seemed to remember that I'd saved her from the wolves and was appreciative.
Marcus was doing a fine job of staying calm under Eugene's barrage of shouting. He smiled, he used calming tones, and he waited patiently. In the end, he nodded, babbled reassuringly, and Eugene stomped off. The moment the man's back was turned, Marcus's fists clenched so tight his knuckles were white, and the expression on his face was scary.
The edges of my vision were getting gray, but I barked and whimpered again when I saw Zoola. She came over to me, a frown on her face. I whined and nosed towards my side.
"You hurt?" she asked, moving around to look at the wound; I whined in the affirmative. She palpated my ribs until I yelped. She jumped back, her eyes wide, and bellowed for Marcus. I whined a little more and nudged her gently in thanks before letting my head drop back to the freezing cold ground. I was starting to shiver.
Marcus hurried over at Zoola's call. Eugene threw his hands in the air, glared at us, and went to fetch the other horses. I absently noticed that Lissi and Faffi had flopped off the mare and hurried over to their mother.
Zoola put her hand on my snoot. "[Something] [Something]. [Something] [Something]."
Her hand glowed gold and a wave of warmth spread through me from snoot to tail.
Minor Healing (x2) has been applied! Benefit has been applied to Status Effect: Internal Bleeding.
"Dog," Marcus said. "You okay?"
I whined. What a dopey question.
He ran his hand through his hair, looking frustrated. I felt my eyes drifting close.
"Hey!" he said, booping my nose for attention. "Look at me!"
I forced my eyes open blearily.
He pointed to the blood on his arm. "Blood," he said. He made gestures to suggest the stuff spurting out. "Bleeding. Okay?"
I managed to nod very slightly, still not lifting my head. The ground was thoroughly freezing and I was shivering but I simply couldn't muster the energy to move.
He made a loose fist with his left hand and ran his right forefinger around the back, down, and up the other side. "[something]." He pointed at his palm. "[something else]. Okay?"
I whimpered in confusion. The pain was starting to turn to numbness, which was much appreciated.
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"Hey! Look at me! Look at me!" He repeated the hand gestures, then gestured around his head. "[something]." He opened his mouth and tapped the back of his tongue. "[something else]." He pulled the pouch off his belt, gestured around the curve of it when he said [something] then opened it and pointed in with an accompanying [something else].
Ohhhh. 'Outside' and 'inside'. I nodded.
"You bleeding inside?"
I checked my character sheet to be sure the status effect was still there, then nodded slightly. Not only was it still there, I was at 64 HP.
Zoola immediately started babbling intensely. Marcus grimaced, then nodded. "Do it. I have enough febble for two mobbles."
"Minor Healing," she said.
Minor Healing has been applied! Benefit has been applied to Status Effect: Internal Bleeding.
They asked, I answered; the status effect was still there.
Zoola put her hand on Marcus's shoulder. "Unlock: Minor Healing," she said, then lifted her hand away.
Marcus swiped and tapped at the air for a moment and then he touched my snoot.
"Minor Healing," he said.
Minor Healing has been applied! Benefit has been applied to Status Effect: Internal Bleeding.
He lay his hand on Zoola's head, said "Unlock: Minor Healing," and lifted his hand away.
She swiped and tapped the air, then once again cast Minor Healing on me.
Minor Healing has been applied! Status Effect removed: Internal Bleeding. 3 HP restored.
I whuffed and thumped my tail. Marcus sighed in relief.
"Not bleeding inside?" he asked, clearly confident in the answer but checking to be sure.
Happy, albeit tired, tail thump.
He smiled and patted my snoot, said something to Zoola, and then walked back to the lizard carcass.
o-o-o-o
I'd been bleeding pretty badly; I was down to 60 HP. All things considered, I decided to simply lie still and let other people do all the work while I pondered what had happened.
Zoola had unlocked the Minor Healing Skill for Marcus only to have him use it once and then unlock it for her so that she could buy it back. I wasn't sure why...maybe she hadn't been able to use it anymore, but after buying it back from Marcus she was? In that case, they had done me a major favor. I would need to figure out what I could do for them...but not right now. Right now I wanted to lie still, not bother any of my still-aching owies, and rest.
Zoola and Tamar had pulled groundcloths and rain flies out of somewhere or other and started setting up shelters. I wondered about where the things had come from; everyone had been carrying backpacks but Eugene's had been the only one that looked really full, so I wasn't sure how that much cloth had been tucked away. I stopped worrying about it when they were even nice enough to put one up for me, so I was finally going to get to sleep under cover. Another thing they had pulled from nowhere that utterly baffled me: A wicker cage full of half a dozen small white mice. Why they had the thing, I couldn't imagine, but it was there, tucked inside Zoola's shelter. The mice made an annoying squeaky sound and I found myself wondering what they would taste like.
Speaking of tasting things (and, by implication, smelling them) the lizard corpse was starting to sizzle and it smelled amazing. Marcus bullied Eugene into using his cutting Skill to slice deep into the thing's belly; as soon as that was done, Marza and her brood crawled inside.
Minutes later, the sizzling sound cut off. Marza and her smols emerged from within the lizard's chest clutching a deep-yellow, pulsating crystal the size of my paw. Marza wiped it clean, then the three of them shed all the blood and viscera from themselves before huddling close around the crystal. Lights flickered in soothing waves across their backs. I could see steam rising from the earth around where they glided.
Eugene walked over to Marcus. "Time to unlock that fucking Skill. That blargle the mabble."
Marcus shrugged and shook his head. "I snorble have enough flebble thoop. Bleb blog bleh."
Eugene pointed at me and hissed a question that I couldn't hear. Marcus looked at him for a moment, then nodded. Eugene flipped his lid, screaming in accusatory rage for a solid minute. Marcus's face froze into a polite smile that had too many teeth to be sincere. I could see his hands clenching into fists.
"Eugene," he said at last, his voice cold and flat. "Shut the fuck up. This—"
Any dog would have recognized Marcus's body language and known to back off, but Eugene was not as smart as a dog. "You zortfucking son of a gleg! You fucking zelb me that fucking Skill! That fleh the whole fucking glug! That flah why I uwert you all the fucking money for this fucking caravan! Now you quirz me you flah fucking unlock it orble you fucking werx all your febble on that fucking dog?! You glurg wopel aru febble in the first perw, wecv you?! I urw fucking kill you, you zortfucking repol son of a gleg!" He raised his fist threateningly.
Marcus slammed a front kick into Eugene's belly, folding him up like a book, then kicked his feet out from under him and flipped him on his face. He put a knee on Eugene's neck and punched him hard in the shoulder, twice, before trying to grab his wrist.
Eugene twisted his arm free and bucked. "Body of the [Something]!" he shouted.
Eugene ballooned out the same way I had when I Supreme Exemplared, ending up eight feet tall with massive muscles everywhere; his clothes and sword resized to match him instead of bursting apart as had my lost and much-missed collar. His growth threw Marcus off and away, allowing Eugene to push himself to hands and knees and lunge at Marcus, grabbing for him with a hand that was now the size of Marcus's entire head. Marcus rolled frantically out of the way and reached for the knife in his boot.
Estelle dropped from her perch in the tree, raised her bow, and fired. "Weapon of Peace! Multishot!" she yelled as she released the arrow.
A storm of arrows rained down, hitting both Marcus and Eugene. The arrows didn't penetrate their skin, but both men were slammed into the ground hard enough that the frozen earth cracked. They grunted and curled up, clutching their bellies and gasping for breath.
Tamar and Zoola backed away and crouched down behind the lizard corpse. Marza and the smols were already well away from the fight; they watched in silence, staying close around the yellow heat crystal. Meanwhile, Bjorn came running in from the woods, covered in dirt and bits of bark from where he'd been carrying the firewood that he had obviously dropped at the sound of combat. His warhammer was in his hands and he looked grim.
Estelle stalked down the hill. "The hell is wrong with you two?!" she snapped at Marcus and Eugene. "We're in the middle of the fucking woods! It's fucking qwep! Who blebqur ruwalp around here? We porqleb agroq blargop minute and we zurp yog to have you two fighting! Turpl zopw adults!"
Her scoldees had recovered their breath and were climbing to their feet by the time she reached them. Marcus seemed to have recovered his temper and was smiling again, although my nose gave it the lie; he still smelled furious.
"Eugene, I wexelp," he said, the words sounding convincingly contrite. "I aporw erwel gloggle that. I zebble lost my bargle; it qapop blogael and I abup wrong. Please abuwe me?" He held out his hand to shake.
Eugene glared at him, then spat on the ground and stalked off, shrinking back to normal size as he did. He snatched the cage of mice out of Zoola's shelter, stuffed it into his backpack (aha! It had been there previously, and that's what made the pack look so full!), then started putting the saddle and bridle back on the little mare; she seemed displeased at this, clearly believing that she'd already had a long day of carrying heavy people around on her back and should be allowed to relax for a while. Still, she went along with it.
Everyone watched him, no one interfered. Three minutes later, he was gone and headed back to the caravan.
Thank Family. As much as Eugene was in need of some calming doggy cuddles, I had not the slightest interest in offering them, nor in listening to him continue to yap like that annoying little tea cup poodle two doors down from the house that I was so very far away from.
A little whining convinced Tamar to spread a nest of blankets next to me; I took a short nap that didn't involve contact with the freezing ground. When I woke up, camp was largely set up and I felt good enough to stand up and wobble over to the lizard corpse. Marcus and Tamar were most of the way through skinning it; the hide was shredded after everything we had done to it, but they were getting some strips off. More importantly, there was a literal ton or more of meat sitting there exposed to the air, and I was hungry.
They were working down towards the tail, so I went up to the head end. Everyone looked over when I tore the first mouthful of delicious lizard chuck off and gulped it down with barely a chew before going back for seconds. They all nodded, gave me a smile, and went back to what they'd been doing.