Dear God,

I sent my magic to that Guardian before he ran away. I wrapped his Shield with my magic.

I was not an animal anymore.

Not only that, but I had control over him.

I took control of my magic to make it become transparent. Thus, over the sea, I could see my magic as an impenetrable sphere preventing him from triggering The Towers.

He fought, he used his magic to try to escape — over the sound of the water I could hear their failed attempts to escape. Over and over again.

He had committed a mistake and he knew it. But despite this, he was a fighter.

As soon as I brought my sphere to the ocean, I sent a beam of light to the place where my brother had disappeared. In a few seconds, my brother came out of the water, he appeared as a monster from the deep ocean — who is hungry for fresh meat.

Ocean flew to the sphere, but he stopped before he entered — he looked at me. Big blue eyes staring at me, I could see worry in your eyes and body language, and when he saw blood I saw fear in his eyes. He sought with his eyes some danger, some serious wound, after it, he said, with no sound:

“Are you okay?”

I was okay?

I was not okay.

I was not okay — I had killed a person, I had taken someone's life like a piece of trash and released it in the fire. I was lost in the sea of my own mind.

Despite that, I nodded — maybe because of that, I nodded. I could not speak, my head felt heavy and slow, and the whole world looked wrong.

As soon as he knew I was fine, he entered the sphere.

***

Everything happened so fast, everything was blurry.

That Guardian saw my brother came, he was ready.

In a heartbeat, I saw blades. The noise of metal found metal. The bodies fought to subjugate the other, and the wings were cruelly used as weapons and shields.

Time became infinite.

And they moved within the sphere for an eternity before death accomplished the inevitable.

I saw that Guardian advancing to my brother, and I saw his blade colliding with my brother's wing. As my brother’s wing intercepted one of that Guardian’s blades, he took the time to make a subtle sweep and thrust a blade into the box that housed that sentry's heart.

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It was fast, and cruel, and the sound that echoed hurt my ears and my heart.

As that scene occurred I could not understand what was happening, it was like I was not there, it was like I was a child in the middle of night lost in a forest, it was like I don't have control of my mind anymore.

I don't understand what happened, but I could see blood.

Blood was the whole thing real.

Blood running down that guardian's body like a river.

In a heartbeat, Ocean slipped a blade into that boy's throat.

I listened to the shock. I listened to the sound of despair. I listened to the pain and the mad movement of the hands trying to stop the flow of blood, trying to close the cut, trying to survive for just another second.

He was an animal. He was an animal trying to escape the clutches of a predator. But his struggle for survival was in vain, because he died bleeding and in fear and fighting for something that was inevitably already lost.

He was a Guardian. And the only true and unchanging thing in the life of a guardian is that he will inevitably lose his life.

Despite that — despite the fact that I've known it my whole life — the sound of the death of that Guardian was the only thing that existed in my world, his blood was the only thing that existed in my world.

***

Ocean carried the body to the boat after I broke the barrier. He also took the blades.

Everything felt wrong. I felt wrong.

I remember trying to control my breathing.

“We will need to keep him with us until we find an appropriate place to hold The Farewell Ceremony. Okay?” Ocean said as he ran his hand through his hair.

I nodded. I could not speak. I could not stop staring at him — I could not stop staring at his hair. Ocean has white hair, but this morning was red — his beautiful white hair was stained with blood.

He stopped for a second before looking at his hands, and at the four blades on our boat, and at the dust at our boat — the dust that just a few moments ago was a Guardian, the Guardian that I killed.

One.

Two.

Three.

I saw understanding in your eyes.

He looked at me.

“Don't go there, Moon. Don't open this door. You need to focus on what we need to do,” he put one of his hands in my hair. “Not on how we do it,” Ocean looked at my eyes, “Stay with me, okay?”

I felt a tear running down my cheek.

I felt like my breath was stolen from me — just like the life I stole that day.

“Everything you did, we did, it was for our family,” I could almost hear anger and rage in his voice. “Because no one, no one, will do anything for our family. No one will try to keep us safe. Just us. We just have ourselves. Did you hear me?” He put his other hand on my chin, and made me look into his eyes. “This was not the end, this was just the beginning. Because family requires sacrifice, and security requires sacrifice. Thus, you need to be strong, for me and for yourself, little Moon,” he leaned in and kissed one of my cheeks. “Go to sleep. I'll take care of everything.”

It took me a while to fall asleep that night. The sound of my breathing was a constant reminder of the cost my life took that day. But fortunately, the sound of water as we traveled across the ocean helped me fall asleep.

When I was on the verge of unconsciousness, I heard a distant whisper:

“By the way, I heard you calling me an idiot, you sucker.”

***

Dear God, thank you for listening to me and staying with me. Please, protect my family and give all of us a good night of sleep. That’s what I ask you and appreciate, God.