Dear God,

It's interesting how small moments of our childhood can change all our life, not only this, but change the way you see the world, and the way you see yourself in the chaos of life.

I remember this moment, and today I know that day could have taken a different path, and changed me in a bad way. But it did not happen, because the Sun was there, my beautiful knight, my sweet savior, my sister.

I was a little different from the school’s children, I was a little different from my sister and brother. The parents had fear of me, the kids had fear of me, thus they didn't play with me because I was a dreamer’s child. Being a dreamer turned people away from me. As I grew up, I got used to people’s fear, and their whispers, and their gossip, and the things they say I could do to other people, the way I could hurt and kill someone else because I was angry. You got used because you have to, because you can not let other people's words define what you are, and you can't give this type of power to someone else.

But all these words, all this power of yourself do mean nothing when you are a child because everything you want, everything you wish is to be part of something. Play with the children, party with the children, eat with the children in the school. To be one of them. It was what I wanted, belonging. But I could not have it, because I am a Dreamer.

All this fear made me so sad, and insecure of myself. It made me cry in the middle of the night, and made me pray for you to change me, for you to become someone else. I prayed to be like a normal guardian’s child. I prayed for you so many nights, I don't know if you heard me, I don't know if you recognized me, but I want to say thank you for not making what I wanted, thank you for not changing me. I was a child and I didn't know what I wanted.

But the thing is, when I was a child I was so desperate to be a normal child, or as normal as a Guardian’s child could be. Thus, one day, after a lonely school’s day, I went to the cliff next to my home. I wanted to go away, run away from my school, from the scared children. I wanted to go to someplace that accepted me, and I could be who I was with no fear. I wanted to chase the freedom that Ocean told me so long ago. I stayed on that cliff for a long time, I saw the sunset, I saw the beautiful color that the ocean had a few moments before the sun went away, it's a different blue.

Sun found me at this time, in the blue hour. I was crying, because I wanted to go away, but I didn't want to run away without my family.

“Are you thinking of leaving?” Sun said, while sitting next to me.

“How do you know I am thinking about it?” I whispered. My tears dropped in my cheeks, and my hair was in front of my face.

“Well, I think everyone with wings a day thought about running away. I mean, it's so easy, just open your wings and fly to find a new life, and leave behind your problems,” she gave me a smile, a smile that told me that she understood what I wanted to do.

Unauthorized tale usage: if you spot this story on Amazon, report the violation.

“How many times have you thought about doing this? And why didn't you do it?” She laughed, a warm and familiar laugh. Sun has the type of laugh that makes your heart happy, and heated, and calm. It's like a hug, that involves you and protects you.

“A thousand times. Every week. But I can't just go away. I would miss you, and Ocean would cry every day, you know that he loves me,” she winked an eye to me. “But perhaps, one day, the four of us can run away together. When you are a little older,” she said gravely.

“One day? You promise, Sun?” I asked, like someone said that I would receive a gift, the best gift ever, the Sun’s gift.

“Yes, I promise. We would need to find a new beach to live, obviously,” she said solemnly.

“With a climate not so hot,” I added with a smile.

“Of course, besides that we need to find some place with a cliff. Our new home needs to have a cliff.”

We lay down and stayed there for a long time, just looking at the sky, seeing the stars appearing in the sky, seeing Athedrus appearing in the sky. Athedrus shone so hard that night, the most beautiful star in infinite darkness.

After what seems like an eternity, Sun whispered:

“Moon?”

“Yes?” One of the thousands of things I’ve always loved about Sun is that every time she wanted to talk about a serious matter, she always asked if I was willing to listen to her, if I was in the mood to have that kind of conversation. She always gave me a choice, even when I was a child. Thereby, she showed me that she respects me, and that my opinion was important.

“You can not be ashamed of yourself, Moon. You can not be ashamed of who you are. I know it's hard, don't have friends because you are different. I know that loneliness it's horrible, principally for you as a kid, but you can not change you for someone else. You can not make such a sacrifice for someone that would not make the same thing for you, it's not worth it. You are wonderful, the difference is what makes you, not someone else. Please, hug who you are. Because I would be so sad if someday I came home and saw that my beautiful sister it's not the girl I have known my entire life, and not because you want to change, but because of other unworthy people. A people who don't deserve your friendship, your loyalty, and much less your love,” Sun gave me a sad smile, and stroked my hair. She stroked my white hair. My mom's hair. My brother’s hair. “Please, don't lose yourself.”

I will never forget this conversation we had on that cliff. Everything she said touched my heart, and ironically changed something important inside me. That moment with my sister transformed me forever, and made me think about what was really relevant in my life.

***

Dear God, thank you for being with me, and thank you for the moments I had with my family. Please, give me the strength I need to stand by them, to be with them again. Please give us a good night of sleep. That’s what I ask you and appreciate, God.