The far eastern shore of the Eastern Continent had a very nice white sandy beach. On the sand sat an extremely tiny lawn chair. On the lawn chair lay a Pixie, snoozing in the sun, strawberry daiquiri by her side. Her magnificent dragonfly like wings shown like rainbows. Her red hair lay across the chair, out of their customary pigtails. Instead of her normal overalls, she wore a light green sun dress. She snored happily.
Her wings gave a sudden and violent shake, and she bolted upright from the chair, looked around in a panic, said some very unladylike words, and headed west at speed, leaving the rest of her strawberry daiquiri to melt in the sun.
- - -
An unusually helpful brown bear was sleeping in a small forest in a well populated dell. She was happily dreaming of the children who came to 'get lost' in the forest, when her stubby tail, adorned today with a beautiful pink ribbon, did a sudden, and painful, corkscrew as her hackles rose. She grumbled for a moment, then caught a scent on the wind, and began to walk towards the nearby city.
- - -
In the stillness of the calm predawn light, a pair of trees trembled. Nearby, a cats ears twitched.
- - -
At the college of The Bard of Rio, the B string on an ancient guitar on display snapped with a reverberating twang.
- - -
It was the early morning of the 150th anniversary of the end of the Heretics War, and Pendleton was late for the weekly Humans and Highrises game. With good reason.
With Maximilian, the god of war, gone, they had been barred from the last H&H con, and were still having trouble finding a new player who had the time to commit. And without him, the barn, turned gamer's haven, seemed emptier as Pendleton almost blew the doors off their hinges coming inside.
“Guys, guys!” He said.
No one paid him any mind, as they kept arguing the new 'Karen' ruling from the games council.
“GUYS!” Pendleton screamed, using a tidge of his god powers. All three gods present, Kocha, Ghondish, and Sarah, stared at him.
Sarah was the first to speak, anger tinging her voice, “What?!?”
“I was flipping through the channels...”
“So what?” Kocha demanded.
“The Heretic channel is back!”
Pens, pencils, and a very heavy rulebook dropped to the table with a resounding chorus of “WHAT?!?!?”
Pendleton took a breath, “It only says 'Please Stand By', But IT'S BACK!!!”
*-*-*
In the preserved cabin of The Heretic, there resided a used bandage under glass. It began to twitch. The dried black blood on the bandage turned a healthy red, and began to spread. The glass display case shattered outward, and the wood laid in the fireplace caught fire. A figure began to form on the floor, and over the course of a few minutes, it took a breath.
The figure stood and looked around the cabin, then yelled, “Gods Damn it all!”
- - -
Captain Murphy, morning shift commander of the watch – Parks and Rec division – was not a happy man. Someone had defeated the physical and magical alarms and defenses of The Cottage. Sometimes people would jump the fence, and run the path to the door after hours as a test of courage. But this wasn't it.
Stolen content warning: this tale belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences elsewhere.
Someone had broken in and lit the fire. The fire the Heretic had laid before he departed to bring salvation to the world. His last act before his eternal rest. Captain Murphy was angry... No, he was raging MAD. Had he the ability, he would be spitting nails. He quickly walked the streets from the station house to Heretics Gate, pushed his way through the crowd, crossed the watch line, and met with his reaction team.
“What do we know?”
“Sir!” The Sargent in charge saluted. “An unknown person or persons has been sighted through the window. They are now frying eggs on the stove.”
“Have you questioned them yet?”
“We wanted to refrain from aggravating them until you arrived, as they have already dumped some of the priceless artifacts out of the front window, complaining loudly about 'Trash in the house'.” The Sargent replied.
“Alright.” He looked around at the flat faces of the watch on duty. “Form up! We advance now!” A moment passed, and the Parks and Rec division marched up the hill. They passed the iron fence and gate, the well manicured lawn, the immaculate wildflower beds, and the informational display boards. Eventually arriving at the cabin's door.
Captain Murphy rapped loudly on the door, “City Watch! Open up! Cooperate, and you will be treated well!” He knew it was a lie. Most of Parks and Rec were part of the Heretics Cult, and took their job very seriously.
The eventual response from inside was, “Meh. Go away, I'm having breakfast here!”
He pounded on the door again, “I will count to five. If you don't open this door, we will open it ourselves, and beat you into submission!”
There was a shuffling sound from within the cabin, followed by the sound of rusted hinges creaking. A moment later the whole watch contingent heard a double 'Ka-Click' sound from within. “You can try.”
- - -
Across the demon wastes a small streak of red and green flew, leaving in it's wake a succession of sonic booms.
- - -
In the palace, really just a large brick building, the king was awakened by his steward. “My lord! There is an urgent message from the P&R!”
King Michael the second sat up in bed, dreams of 'Iced Cream' vanishing from his head. “Wh...What happened? Did the cottage catch fire?”
“No sire, it is worse.”
Michael climbed out of the huge bed he shared with his wife, threw on a robe (his wife's) and followed the steward to the throne room. The P&R runner, still out of breath, bowed to the king as he entered
“No time for that, what has happened?” Michael asked, not even sitting on the throne.
“There is smoke coming from the Heretic's chimney. And the smell of fresh coffee.” The messenger said, still trying to catch his breath. “The Captain is in route as we speak.
Hesitating only a moment, Michael replied, “Very well. Take some moments to refresh yourself while I get ready.” He nodded to the steward, and walked as fast as was proper out of the room before breaking into a dead run.
- - -
“The countdown timer has started! T -3, 2, 1...” Pendleton yelled to no one in particular. The colluseum was almost packed, as all of the gods who could make it had come to see the premier of the new Maxwell channel.
In the far back of the colluseum, a shadow formed, and Maximilian, the god of war, was bodily thrown from it.
- - -
The very polite bear of the wood walked through the city, chuffing at the children who were already out and about. She gave out as many hugs as she received, and was generally happy. Until she reached the gate to Heretic's Hill. It was very crowded, both by pilgrims, who backed away from the large bear, and by curious onlookers, there to see the smoke and their P&R response team in action.
She chuffed loudly at the guard contingent blocking the gate, and moved through without much resistance. They didn't want to incur the wrath of a bear. Let alone the bear who dismembered 'Bad' parents. She walked up the hill, and sat down on her haunches, awaiting the proper time.
- - -
The kings carriage arrived without the usual pomp and circumstance, it skidded to a stop, and Michael stepped out. He was dressed, but still disheveled, hair uncombed. He almost sprinted up the slope.
Windows on the eastern side of town blew out as a small red and green form streaked past them. People screamed. The form continued, sonic booms in it's wake.
- - -
At the top of the hill, the P&R crew were quietly discussing what to do. “We can't actually break down the door. It's a historical monument!” One member said.
“True, but he has already defiled it. We will need to have a leader come and purify it again.” A second replied, “On the other hand, I don't think we can even break it from this side. You remember that one idiot a few years back that tried to chop it open?”
A third piped up, “Oh, the one who fried to a crisp on the second hit?” He shook his head, “I had to clean up that bastards remains. At least it was easy. Not enough of him left to fill a dust bin.”
The group heard the sound of pounding feet, and turned en mass to see the king stop at the top of the hill. They bowed. Captain Murphy stood and saluted, “Majesty! We have the culprit secured in the cabin, but are at a loss as to what to do at the moment.”
Michael returned the salute, “Have you tried ---” the rest of his suggestion was lost as the green and red form blew past them and through the front window.
The assemblage stared as loud shouting issued forth, then there was a loud 'GONG' and the now recognizable pixie flew back out the window, not of her own volition.
“I'll get you for that! You miscreant!” Brandywine screamed at the cabin. “You didn't even say goodbye!” She flew back in the window.
The guards and king Michael couldn't understand the ensuing argument, but some of the curses uttered made them blush. Michael looked away from the cabin for a moment, feeling a twitch on the back of his neck. Behind him was his old teacher, and the grizzled dwarf seemed to not have aged a day.
The old dwarf calmly walked past the guards and king, opened the cottage door, and stepped inside, allowing the door to close behind him. Michael looked at the door, over too the bear who nodded to him and stood up on her hind legs. They followed the dwarf into the cabin. The bear looked back at the now staring guards, and kicked the door closed behind her.
Captain Murphy looked at the door, thought of everyone who had went in, shook his head, and ushered the guards down the hill. “I don't understand what the hells is going on, but this is above my pay grade.”