Chapter 9 Seeing people die

People would think it would be horrible to see others die. But I've been doing it for a long time. In fact it's quite boring. Kinda like romance movies for me. Since I already know the ending, the story, and thier exact words.

But I kinda like how predictable it is and sometimes I get a surprise ending. Those are the most fun. Things stay the same for the most part. Then there is an unexpected change. But thier so few and far between. They almost always fall apart.

These changes happen when someone gets smart and does something. They're usually trying to save the world or make it better. It all just goes to waste. If they're lucky they die with a false sense of accomplishment. It's false since all of their work comes undone eventually.

It was all for nothing. Just like them and thier life. Maybe they were hoping God would step in or something. Yeah I don't think he cares. Plus there is no way he loves me. So I've decided to not believe in him. I should have done this long ago. Then I wouldn't have ended up in this whole living until everyone dies crap.

This text was taken from Royal Road. Help the author by reading the original version there.

Since belief believes in God so he becomes real for him. Maybe if I hadn't believed in him I wouldn't go anywhere. I see it he only has power in how much you believe he has power over you. Since he's not real. You made yourself hear him cause you believed in a religion. It's like a hallucination and a vision. Except it's worse because it's a whole religion that tries to prove its true.

I'm done with the Bull Shite religion. I believe there is no Good so there is none. For all I know I'm stuck in a dream of some sort. Or just died and am now in nothing cause that is what the after life should be. The ultimate end.

So now I'm that I don't believe in him, none of this is real. Maybe once I realize this and state that this is fact I'll get out of this prison I must have trapped myself into. Oh so that is what religion really is. It's just a trap, a lie that draws you in and controls you. Well I'm not letting religion control my life.

I understand this now and why I couldn't let it go. I guess I had to go back to the very beginning. Why did it hurt when I realized God didn't really love me? Oh, I see since I wanted him to love me. I couldn't love myself. I have no one left to love me and god promised that he did. Well he turned out to be lier like everyone else.