Chapter 8 Wandering Earth

I've seen a lot over the years. It makes me feel like I'm aging. Though that stops after you become a ghoul. I know that I'm too old to be alive if I did age. I gave up on counting my age pretty early. The thing that really matters is how many relatives are left to die.

This sounds morbid, and everything is morbid as the dead. I will live my days out seeing my loved ones dead until the end. But those I love are already gone. My sister, Mary, is dead. She died because her heart was weak. Her pulse gave out. She died fairly quickly. I don't remember where she was burried. The thing that is so miserable about this is that I don't get to know where she ends up. I don't get to say goodbye. There is no peace.

I'm lucky in some ways because my family isn't as large as others. My grandparents died while I was still living. My parents died fairly quickly. My dad held on for years. That lying bastered. He has done nothing except lie and say he didn't know anything. Like how he didn't know about the man I should have killed. The boy I see as a phantom. The thing is I couldn't find him. I don't know if he's a live or dead. I didn't get to kill him and watch the life go out of him. You call those who are able to revengful spirits.

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They call it just a long time coming. Justice and hope have never existed. The thing humans call Justice and hope are just sad excuses. They want to believe something so much that they convince themselves of it. I've given up on humanity a long time ago.

In the truth they want to be manipulated, controlled, and liked to. Once someone has made up their mind nothing anyone can do or say to change it. Not unless they choose to change. But nobody really does. A few try to change and find a better way. All they did was choose a different poison. They all die about the same. The lucky ones die doing what they love.

What they actually love is only revelved in thier last moments. See a man had a good life. Didn't do anything risky. He played his life safe. But you told the truth about him when he died. He died by sky diving. He had decided to risk it all. By not pulling open the parachute. He died because he love the risk so much.

There are so many people like him who die in the same way. The thing about others is sometimes they do what they love until they die.

A drunk dies because he drank too much. People don't realize that their love for something can get themselves killed.