The pair of assassins were waiting for McKenzie and Danandra as they approached the Unsheathed Dagger. One had a bow, the other had a robe, but they were both being very cautious. Their manner, as the pair drew closer to them, was very much one of 'we've been told to stop you, but we're not at all happy about it'.

McKenzie looked levelly at the guy with the bow. "Yes, it's her. No, you can't have her. Are we gonna have a thing over this?"

Danandra snapped her fingers and called forth the ball of blue fire again. "Please say yes."

They took a meaningful step backwards. The mage put his hands down to his sides, and the bow creaked as the tension was released from it - figuratively and literally.

"We happen to be in Nightwing's camp," bow guy said. "We will not bar your path, but there is something you should know. The High Assassin wants you to report to him immediately at the Guild Hall - if you do not, he has threatened to kill Nightwing."

"He may very well do it, too, Crowbar - there is no love lost between Bladehand and Nightwing," the mage said. "This is no empty threat."

"Oh fucking lovely," McKenzie said. "As if today wasn't frantic enough."

"How will the High Assassin know you have passed this message on?" Danandra, a bit quicker to think and slower to moan, asked.

"We will have to tell him - Darkwand has a speakstone. He will expect to be informed immediately," bow guy said. "Our apologies."

"Alright listen," McKenzie said. "You say you're on Nightwing's side? Me too: I am not going to let anything happen to her. When I'm done in here I'm heading to the Guild Hall. Can you give me ten minutes before you phone Bladehand? And before you jump to any conclusions about what I'll be doing in a brothel that'll only take ten minutes, it's not what you think, okay?"

Neither of them looked to be smirking anyway. Bow guy nodded. "Very well. We will delay our report."

"You're stand up guys. Thanks," McKenzie said. The assassins stood all the way aside, and Danandra and McKenzie continued towards the Unsheathed Dagger.

The door opened before they even got to the steps, and one of the resident scantily clad girls ushered them straight through to the Laura Ashleyesque room, where Danandra immediately bowed - the Archmage, and Heska, were stood in there waiting for them. Small wonder the assassins had been nervous.

"Your Wisdom," Danandra said. "Finding you here is a great relief."

McKenzie's greeting was a good deal less formal. "You two took your bloody time."

Danandra went pale. Xixaxa merely raised an eyebrow. "I would not have to be here at all were it not for your uncontrollable mouth, Lord McKenzie."

"Nice to see you too. Have you done something with your hair? You're emanating even higher levels of terrifying magical power than usual," McKenzie said.

"No," the Archmage replied.

"I've done something with my hair," Heska pointed out, but nobody listened.

"Oh well. Sorry about saying his name, anyway - in my defense, where I'm from you have to mention someone's name on the internet, at least, before they get hold of it, not just mention it in fucking passing," McKenzie told her, then paused and wrinkled his nose. "Come to think of it I've been doing that aswell, though."

"There is scant time for recriminations now. We must find Lady Callena and Violentia and go into hiding. We must all stay clear of him for a few hours, to ensure the charm has time to complete its work. Together, I believe we will win our freedom. Apart, we may not," the Archmage said.

"Cally's not here?" McKenzie asked, then looked at Listra. "What the fuck happened?"

"She-" Listra started to speak, but Xixaxa cut in.

"The troll Iyanus sent assassins here last night for the girl you spared during the tests, probably to use her as leverage against you. Cally went in her place."

"But Leni would've seen straight away that-" Danandra started to speak.

"Precisely - which is an interesting observation, but one we do not have time to explore - in the same way that it is clear that you are wearing someone as a necklace, but there is no time to ask any questions about that, either. We must go and retrieve Callena and Violentia. Now," Xixaxa said, in a tone that suggested anyone wishing to make any more observations had best submit them in writing at a later date.

"Sorry. No can do," McKenzie said.

Xixaxa glared at him. "No can do?" She asked.

"Yeah - sorry. I'll have to catch up with you," McKenzie said. "Give my regards to Iyanus before you splatter him all over a wall, though."

Xixaxa sighed. "Were you even listening just now?"

"Yeah - were you?" McKenzie fired back. "No – can – do. Sorry. There, I've recapped it for you."

"There is a hostage he must rescue, Your Wisdom," Danandra cut in, glaring at McKenzie. "We have just been told that if does not go to the Assassin's Guild immediately, her life is forfeit."

"Your life, or your freedom, at least, will be forfeit if you do not come with us now," Xixaxa told McKenzie.

"I'll take my chances," McKenzie replied. "Good luck everyone. Think positive: we'll all be raising a glass tonight to the death of a not-dear enemy. Bye for now." He turned to go, but there was a knock on the door.

"Enter," Listra called.

Cally walked in.

"Lady Callena," Xixaxa greeted her gravely.

"Cally! You're alive!" Danandra said, and ran to give her a hug. The two women embraced.

"Holy motherfucking shit on a stick!" McKenzie said, and dug his phone out to take a photo. "Where the hell were you hiding all that the first time we met?"

"All what?" Cally asked, confused.

"All the hot!" McKenzie said. Cally blushed.

"It's a disguise," she said, crossing her arms.

"Best disguise ever," McKenzie said.

"There is no time for this foolishness," Xixaxa said sternly.

"Can't argue with that. So there, look, Cally's back already. Hi Cally, long time no see, etcetera. One down, one to go. You can manage without me anyway I bet. Excuse me, Cal - gotta go," McKenzie ducked past her.

"McKenzie, this is folly!" Xixaxa said. "Do not make me force this issue!"

McKenzie paused in the doorway.

"I can't not go," he said. "Not and stay being me."

"Do not imagine I like it any better than you do. You do not endanger only yourself!"

"It's non-negotiable, Xixaxa," McKenzie said, from the doorway. "Either come with me or let me go, but don't try and stop me. Neither of us would like that."

Xixaxa sighed: he was not wrong. "Try to stay clear of him. I know you bear him great hatred, but if you would stay free, stay away from him. Free this woman as quickly as you can and then run, fast and far."

McKenzie nodded. "Thanks, Xixaxa. Good luck, everyone."

And he was gone.

"Why did you let him go, Your Wisdom?" Heska asked. "I thought that-"

"Let us be honest, Heska: if he's determined to go, we cannot stop him. It is not, therefore, logical to try," the Archmage told her.

"Your Wisdom, with or without McKenzie, we should-" Danandra started to say.

"Go and secure Violentia. Yes," she said, and turned to Cally. "Where is this troll's lair?" She asked.

"I do not know the city, Your Wisdom, the carriage driver-"

"Just picture it in your mind," Xixaxa said, and snapped her fingers. A sudden wind rose from nowhere, buffeting and blasting the contents of the room.

Listra was left alone, blinking in surprise.

- o O o -

McKenzie didn't bother with a carriage - he ran from the Dagger to the Guild Hall. Fuck blending in, he thought. I'm a bona fide bloody supervillain, for fuck's sake, time to act like one. By his usual standards of high-speed navigation, he actually didn't do too badly - he only knocked over one statue and put a dent in two buildings, the last of which was the Guild Hall itself - he slammed into it somewhere around the level of the first floor then dropped down in front of the door in a vaguely controlled fashion.

"It's normally considered the done thing to approach in a manner not likely to draw attention, you know," the WDV - Revlius - told him as he picked himself up. Pretty much everyone in the square was watching. He'd set off the nutter clad in fake scales who'd accosted him here before his interview - the man was raving about how her power flowed through her chosen, or some such drivel.

"Yeah man, sorry, I'm in kind of a rush," McKenzie apologised.

"So I hear," Revlius replied drily. "The High Assassin bids you wait - he is busy at present."

"What? He drags my arse all the way over town and then can't even be fucking bothered to be holding a knife to the damsel in a dress?" McKenzie said, miffed.

"It's distress," Revlius corrected him.

This narrative has been purloined without the author's approval. Report any appearances on Amazon.

"Whatevs," McKenzie grunted. "Recognise this?" He drew the hourglass card out of his pocket and held it up in front of the door.

The response was a laugh - Revlius had quite an unnerving one. "I knew you were going to make unlife extremely interesting," the voice said. "I knew it the moment you walked in."

"I aim to please," McKenzie said.

"How is dear Jenata, these days?" Revlius asked him.

"Okay. Bit on the undead side but looking well for it. Nice gaff, lots of minions. She sends her regards," McKenzie said offhandedly. "So: what's the deal with the card, Rev?"

"For a thousand heartbeats, you have the freedom of the Hall. Any door you open will lead exactly where you wish it," Revlius said. "After the thousandth heartbeat, though, I will withdraw the privilege. Your time begins when you open this door."

"Brilliantness. Thank you," McKenzie said. He tried to do a quick mental calculation, but eventually had to resort to looking up the average human heartbeat on his phone and then using the calculator. About ten minutes, once he'd rounded down. He blipped his watch to timer mode.

Here goes nothing, he thought, and pushed the door open.

"Crowbar!" Jadhara exclaimed in surprise, laying a book down. She was seated at the same table he'd seen in the illusion, but her room also contained a bed, some chairs and no other doors or windows. A prison cell, albeit a comfortable one. She was in her default guise - the beautiful oriental woman - and wore her usual assassin's garb.

"Nightwing," McKenzie said.

"What are you doing here?" She asked him.

"It's a fuckin' rescue, innit?" He replied, closing the door behind him. He hadn't been born in a barn, after all. Well, probably not.

"No!" Jadhara shouted, as he closed the door to the outside world, then sighed. "Revlius will not let you leave, now."

"Not a problem," McKenzie told her. "I've got us a get out of jail free card, almost bloody literally, as it happens."

"I am not a jail," Revlius pointed out unexpectedly, making McKenzie jump.

"Sorry man," McKenzie said. "I've got a get out of very well appointed and decorated guild hall with genuine period features in a very desirable area free card."

"Much better, thank you," Revlius replied.

"Which is time limited, so shall we move right along?" McKenzie told Jadhara.

As he held up the card, McKenzie could see that the hourglass was running out. A bit quicker than he expected – he could see it going down. He turned it over in his hands and shook it, but, unsurprisingly, that didn't help.

"How long do we have?" Jadhara asked, coming to his side.

"Only about half as long as I had before," McKenzie said, puzzled. "Revlius, you said a thousand heartbeats!"

"I did," Revlius replied. "You have just gained an extra heart, though."

McKenzie twigged - there were two hearts involved in this rescue now, his and Jadhara's. "Sneaky."

"Thank you, I was rather proud of the concept," Revlius replied.

"It is of no matter," Jadhara said. "Escape is behind that door, if you wish it. Come, Crowbar, let us away."

"Escape is not my plan," McKenzie intoned, aware he was misquoting a film but he couldn't quite remember which one. "I didn't just come here for you, well, I did, don't get me wrong, but I hadda cut a deal to get my hands on this card. I'm taking Bladehand out of here too."

"And more interesting yet!" Revlius intoned. "You do not disappoint, Crowbar."

"Neither do you lack ambition," Jadhara added.

"Ambition? Hah! I'm here out of sheer bloody desperation. Anyway, there's no reason you can't leave right now," McKenzie said. "With any luck, I'll be right behind you."

"No," Jadhara shook her head. "You came to help me - now I will stay to help you."

"I promised Listra that I'd get you the fuck out of here, and I will." McKenzie opened the door onto the street. "Go - she's dead worried, poor thing."

"Listra is a patient woman - she can wait a little longer," Jadhara countered.

"You're unarmed," McKenzie said.

"I am never unarmed," Jadhara replied with a smile. "But you seem to be carrying a spare weapon. Although I am not from your world perhaps you can teach me to use one?" She laid a slight emphasis on the reference to earth - clearly she didn't want her origins to be common knowledge.

"I'm sure I could but I don't have the time - which you're halving by not walking out this door, by the way," McKenzie insisted.

"I am worth well in excess of 500 heartbeats," Jadhara countered. "Stop arguing, Crowbar."

McKenzie exhaled heavily, slammed the door, pocketed the card and shoved a submachinegun at her. "This is kinda like a musket-" he began.

"A what?" Jadhara asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Oh yeah. Look, it chucks out bits of metal really fucking quickly from this end when you squeeze this. You get 20 shots then you gotta yank this thing out and replace it with this spare one, then pull this back and you're good to go again. It won't fire if you can't see a red dot here," McKenzie said, possibly breaking the record for the fastest firearms tutorial ever. "Got it?"

"I believe I have grasped the basics," Jadhara replied.

"Okay then - Revlius, can I open this door onto wherever Bladehand is?" McKenzie asked.

"Certainly," the spirit of the hall replied.

"Then here we go." McKenzie grabbed the door handle and flung it open. He advanced quickly through, levelling the submachinegun with one hand and drawing his pistol with the other, Jadhara behind him, giving every indication that she remembered firearms very well indeed - she had the submachinegun at high port.

Then McKenzie stopped, and said "Oh shit!"

They'd emerged into the council chamber, where Bladehand was presiding over a session. Most of the assassins of Vyrinios were attending, and none of them looked amused.

"Well fuck," McKenzie said, pointing his weaponry up into the galleries, for all the good it'd do. There were dozens of them.

"Hardly the most accurate assessment of a situation I've ever heard, but certainly pithy," Jadhara commented.

McKenzie at least had the satisfaction of seeing Bladehand surprised: "You! How?" He threw back his hood and glowered.

"I work here now, remember? Got the dramatic name and everything. Besides, you said come, I came. Stop moaning and be grateful someone's listening to you," McKenzie replied.

"I commanded you confined to quarters," Bladehand said to Jadhara.

"There is a great gulf, Bladehand, between what you command and what happens," Jadhara told him. "Your comprehension of what transpires within these walls seems similarly flawed."

"I didn't get that, was that a posh insult?" McKenzie asked Jadhara under his breath.

"Indeed," Jadhara replied.

"A situation which you have been kind enough to correct by coming here," Bladehand responded. "Now I know you are somehow loose I can return you to your cage."

"If you wanna get through me to do it," McKenzie announced.

"And you have a Client to satisfy and an Arrangement to honour," Bladehand reminded him. "Your presence here is not required. Go and do your job, and be grateful you are allowed to escape."

"So the two guys were lying, when they said you'd 'commanded' me to come here and give you a progress report? Or have you just forgotten that? You're getting on a bit, it happens, don't feel bad about it," McKenzie taunted him.

Bladehand merely snorted in response. Some of the assassins on the lower levels started to approach.

McKenzie spoke out of the side of his mouth to Jadhara. "I got nothin' except start firin' and then see what happens. I think I can open a door outside for you and cover your escape-"

"Challenge him," Jadhara said.

"What?" McKenzie asked.

"Call him out, challenge him for his position," Jadhara clarified.

McKenzie's expression was doubtful, but he replied: "Okay then, if you say so."

"Hey, arsehole!" He called out. "You can stick that job where the sun don't shine - I quite fancy yours instead. Since this is the sort of environment where use of the word 'hereby' doesn't seem hopelessly pompous, I hereby challenge you for the position of First Assassin."

"High Assassin," Jadhara corrected quietly.

"High Assassin," McKenzie said quickly.

There was silence.

"Hereby. Now. With those words. You're totally challenged," McKenzie added. Jadhara sighed.

Bladehand laughed. "Pathetic" he said. "Nightwing is playing for time - she seeks to delay, for what reason I know not, but it is immaterial. Seize them."

McKenzie cocked the pistol with a click that reverberated around the silent chamber. "Yes - please try and seize us," he bluffed. Even if every single bullet found a target, this was going to come down to knifework.

"Move to accept the challenge!" A familiar voice called. McKenzie glanced up - it was Anjarong, in the back row.

"Impossible!" Another assassin countered him. "He is barely an initiate!"

"The High Assassin cannot be coerced to accept a challenge, even by a council vote!" Another voice spoke up.

"I will second the motion!" Someone else put in.

It dissolved into arguing, although the assassins that were moving towards McKenzie and Jadhara stopped. McKenzie kept them covered with the submachinegun, they returned the favour with crossbows and throwing knives that appeared from beneath their robes.

"We need to make an exit now, before this gets any worse. Time might be up already - my heart's beatin' like a fucking techno record, I can tell you that for nothing," McKenzie said to Jadhara.

"And then how will you remove Bladehand from here?" Jadhara responded. "Give this time to play out, Crowbar."

"I hope you know what you're doing," McKenzie said, but he didn't start to back away.

It looked like it was the wrong move. The debate seemed to narrow to a point, and it was levelled at McKenzie: "There is no precedent."

Plan B then, McKenzie thought, and wondered how best to make use of maybe three bursts from the SMG and the ten rounds he had in the pistol. He supposed he ought to be glad he'd remembered to replace the shot he'd used.

"Actually, there is," Revlius interjected. "Three hundred and twelve years ago, the current High Assassin was old and gravely ill, and not expected to recover. It was decided that the merciful thing to do would be to put him out of his misery, but so that it was done with honour, the next High Assassin issued a challenge. The council accepted it in the High Assassin's name."

"I am hardly on my deathbed!" Bladehand responded.

"It can be arranged!" McKenzie called out.

"Now you have begun to speak like an assassin," Jadhara observed.

"Pah! Vote, then. I am confident of the council's will in this matter," Bladehand said dismissively.

Then something happened that was probably subtle - all McKenzie noticed was that Jadhara looked at a few people in turn and gave an infinitesimal nod. Whether she received nods in return was beyond his powers of observation.

Everyone returned to their positions in the galleries, including, to McKenzie's surprise, Jadhara. She held the gun out for him to take on the way past. "This battle will not be fought with bullets, Crowbar," she told him.

"You ought to be leavin', Jadhara," McKenzie said.

"Once more into the breach," she told him, and smiled, and was gone.

McKenzie put his pistol away and dug the card out. The hourglass was empty - whatever happened, it was going to happen without any help from Revlius.

It was close - very close. The motion was carried by three votes. The look that Bladehand shot McKenzie would probably have been enough by itself to win most duels - it dripped venom.

"It would appear we are to face each other," the man said.

McKenzie slung the SMG and grinned. "You're not wrong," he replied.

"According to tradition, the incumbent names the time, and the challenger the place. The senior party chooses weapons and conditions," Bladehand informed him icily. "I propose we deal with this matter right now."

"Suits me," McKenzie shrugged. "Come and have a go if you think you're hard enough."

"The council is still in session." It was Anjarong who spoke. "Some small delay must be countenanced."

"At highsun, then," Bladehand responded, bestowing another deadly look on Anjarong.

"High noon it is. That's the traditional time where I come from," McKenzie said, although if Xixaxa was right then a few hours delay so he could lie low and avoid Lemuel would've been better. Still, it was only an hour, then the time it'd take to get Bladehand to Jenata. An idea struck him. "You said I could name the place?"

"Such is the tradition," Bladehand said. "But these matters are best settled within these halls, as they have been for-"

"The Artists' Quarter, in front of the Imperial Playhouse," McKenzie interrupted.

"We do not brawl in the street for the edification of any passer by," Bladehand sneered.

"Fine, we can meet out front and then go inside the bloody theatre for all I care," McKenzie countered.

"Very well," Bladehand responded coldly.

"Great - let's do fighting, then. As for weapons, bring two of whatever it is you decide you're gonna be holding when you die, there's a good boy." McKenzie laughed. "You coming, Nightwing?"

Jadhara - who as smiling beautifically - started to descend.

"Wait!" Bladehand snapped.

"What?" McKenzie asked.

"I fear this is a ruse," Bladehand announced. "They will walk out of here and we shall never see them again."

"You're not that lucky, Bladehand," McKenzie responded.

"Nightwing must be returned to her cell, as a surety that Crowbar will honour his commitment," Bladehand said.

Jadhara stopped and turned. "I will agree to remain here on my own cognizance, if the council wishes it. In fact I insist - and since this matter has moved beyond the question of my competence and Crowbar's loyalty, and has become a leadership challenge, I rather think I might retake my seat on the council for the rest of the session, actually. That way the High Assassin can keep an eye on me - I wouldn't want him to fret unnecessarily, after all."

"I second the motion," Anjarong said - and it was carried.

Bladehand deployed yet another of his poisonous looks, this time directed at Jadhara, who returned it with a polite smile. Bladehand turned to McKenzie. "You die at midday," he promised McKenzie.

"I think I'll go grab an early lunch, in that case," McKenzie said. "Alright with you, Revlius?"

"By all means," Revlius replied. McKenzie closed the door and opened it again - there was a short corridor to the front door.

McKenzie's heart was thumping in his chest until he opened it, and saw the square outside.

"Interesting enough for you?" He asked Revlius.

"Quite the performance," the voice replied. "I am rather miffed that I shall have to miss the last act, though. I'm insulted that you would choose a mere theatre over these hallowed halls."

"Don't take it personal, Revlius - it's location, location, location with properties these days," McKenzie replied.

"It didn't escape my notice that the Artists' Quarter is not just the home of the Imperial Playhouse, but also, if rumour is to be believed, where my dear Lady Jenata makes her abode," Revlius stated.

"Is it really?" McKenzie said. "Well, fancy that. I'll let you know Bladehand's fate after the curtain goes down. Ta ta for now."

Revlius' hollow laughter followed him out onto the street.