In Vyrinios, a man was making a decision.
His name was Medlar, and he was the Imperial Governor of Central Vyrinia. Possession was nine-tenths of the law, and as the man in possession of the imperial throne and the imperial capital, he considered himself to be nine-tenths the Emperor of Vyrinia. The other imperial governors had disputed this in the past, but now the nature of the debate had changed. That bitch in Melindron had produced the actual heir from somewhere, damn her, and had talked the others around to this 'republic' nonsense.
If Medlar had known the terminology, he'd have been able to say he was in a video conference call with the bitch herself and the other governors (or, he supposed, senators now). He didn't, though, so all he knew was he was standing in a circle looking at the ghostly forms of the witch and the other governors, being asked to agree to forever sign away his chance of undisputed emperorness in exchange for a measly six-year stint as 'President'. It was intolerable. Guilds had presidents. Tradesmen's clubs. Shabby little gatherings of merchants. Countries, he felt, should aspire to a more grandiose title for their leaders, and certainly shouldn't have to re-elect them every few years.
But he had no choice, and he knew it. Central Vyrinia was easily a match, militarily, for any three of the other former imperial states, but it couldn't stand against all of them and Melindron, at least not without a hope of winning. So, President it was. Better six years on top as a president, rather than six feet under as a deposed pretender.
"I agree," he said, and thrust his right arm into the glowing ball that appeared in front of him. A pulse ran around the group, and it was done. The Vyrinian Empire was gone forever. The Republic of Vyrinia had been born.
"And what of the heir?" One of the others asked. "Will you keep your word? She must die, or your great democratic work will always be in jeopardy."
"It must be quiet," another added. "We do not want a martyr on our hands."
The Archmage's expression was cold. "Melindron honours her agreements. It will be taken care of. You will never hear of her again, you may rest assured of that."
No-one chose to question her. The circle of senators faded and was gone: Medlar was left holding a scroll titled 'The Constitution of the Republic of Vyrinia'.
"Your Majesty?" A servant called. "Are you finished?"
"Yes," Medlar answered. "Summon the Council - tell them that their President wishes to address them."
- o O o -
They had moved to a different part of the castle, along more corridors and up narrow, winding staircases, trailed by the entire pack of wolves. They seemed to know that something was up - but then again, McKenzie remembered they had been human once, and so they'd probably just been listening to the conversation.
They came out on the roof of a large tower, which was now lashed by increasing wind and rain. A collection of metal orbs and towers had been arranged, seemingly at random, around a large hemispherical cage. It's bars were not very close together - even Heska would be easily able to get in and out: it was evidently not a prison. She bade Marn leave them and then bolted the door firmly shut.
"My apparatus," Heska announced, holding out an arm. "When the storm is at it's height, we may begin. With enough power, anything within the thaumatodome containing the requisite potential will be transformed from were to something beyond."
"A hyperwere," McKenzie said. "Sounds cool. Will that mean our friend can get back to normal?"
Heska scoffed. "Normal? Pah! She will have strength beyond her wildest imaginings, the power to do what she wishes when she wishe-"
Danandra exchanged a look with Sharinta that said 'this could complicate things''. They both knew they had little choice, though – until they received orders from the Archmage, the curse was telling them to protect the princess.
"Back to normal, Heska, yes or no," McKenzie pulled her up short. Heska gave him a dark look. McKenzie shrugged. "I told you you'd find talking to me difficult. Yes or no?"
"Yes," Heska told him, her eyes flashing anger.
"Is there enough room in the thaumatowotsit for everyone, then?"
"I had only planned on transforming your friend and myself," Heska replied.
"New plan, Lassie. I reckon you could fit all these wolves in there and then everyone's happy, aren't they?" Any reason why not? Will the zappy voodoo lightning ray or whatever be spread a bit thin?"
"No, but these others no longer have the potential to become 'hyperweres', as you put it," Heska said. "They have failed too many times."
"So? We're aimin' for normal, not hyper." McKenzie shrugged. "And you failed, not them."
"I do not want my pack to be-"
"Not your pack anymore? I don't give a fuck. Everyone or no-one, that's the deal."
Narra gave a yip of agreement and glared at Heska.
The wolf-woman, in her turn, glared at McKenzie, and paused for a moment before answering. "They have been experimented upon previously. Your friend has not. There is no guarantee they would survive."
McKenzie sniffed. Did she pause because she was controlling her temper or making up a convenient lie? "Hmm - I smell bullshit. Howl if you wanna take a chance on it, ladies," he said. There was an unanimous chorus of howls from the wolves. "There you go, democracy in action. They can go in if they want."
"I would not be so quick to assume you are bargaining from any position of strength, Mr McKenzie. I rule here."
"I reckon you won't anymore if you're wrong - or lying - and everyone here ends up with the same sort of were-badassery as you've got. I'm sure they'll give you a few seconds head start before the lynching starts, though, for old time's sake. Howl if you agree, girls."
There was a another round of howls from the pack – somewhat less enthusiastic this time. Heska suddenly looked uncertain, or at least as uncertain as a giant walking wolf could look.
"It's pointless arguing," Sharinta told her wryly. "He's fucking way beyond stubborn. Sorry."
"You should consult some ancient scrolls I have read – and even one or two I have written," Heska growled. "Even wielders of the legendary quintessence can be defeated."
"Really? Okay fur-face: fuck it, let's find out," McKenzie reached into his pocket and slipped his fingers through the silver-plated knuckledusters.
Heska stared at him.
"I'm angry: and approaching bored, too. You wouldn't like me when I'm bored," McKenzie said, removing his hand from his pocket and pointedly admiring his shiny armament. "Everyone in the cage, Crufts, or bring out the teeth and claws. Your call."
"You will regret this impertinence," Heska growled, but then snapped an order to the pack, who eagerly rushed into the metallic cage.
"Probably," McKenzie said. "I regret a lot of stuff until I forget about it."
Heska growled something unintelligible, then addressed him again. "Your word that you will not turn against me when the transformation is complete - and that you will defend me from any...rebellion in what remains of my pack."
"I'll give you five minutes to fuck off. You can have my word on that, if you promise us that you won't turn on us once you've upgraded to werewolf 2.0," McKenzie countered. "Or them." McKenzie jerked his head toward the wolves in the cage.
"An hour, and you have my word," Heska said.
"Fine. Deal," McKenzie said. "I won't shake hands, frankly you give me the heebs."
Narra-wolf looked up at McKenzie. "Looks like this is the only game in town," he told her. "I'll do my best. I won't tell you 'everything will be alright', but I'll throw my last fucking volt at this."
She nodded her head and then followed the others.
"Right then," McKenzie said, turning back to Heska and pocketing the knuckledusters. "What do we do and when?"
"You should all direct your power into any of the orbs - my apparatus will do the rest," Heska said. "Wait for the signal."
"Which would be what, exactly?" McKenzie asked.
"Oh, believe me, you will know whe-" Heska began.
"Let's assume nothing of the fuckin' sort," McKenzie said, cutting her off. "Tell us, clearly - without ambiguity, dramatic pauses or portentious words - when we oughta let rip at the shiny baubles."
Heska looked angry again, although she always looked fairly pissed off. Hard not to, when you were a towering half-wolf monster. "If you insist, then: when the lightning between clouds and cage forms a constant stream, then you must 'let rip', as you so crudely put it." With that, she turned and strode to the cage.
"Ooh handbags," McKenzie said snidely.
"I don't think any of us know what 'ooh handbags' means precisely, McKenzie," Sharinta said. "But could you do us a favour and not piss off the woman who's about to receive powers beyond those of what is already a pretty fucking scary monster and has fuck-off powerful magic to boot?"
"Why not?" McKenzie asked.
Danandra sighed. "That about sums you up," she said. "I'm McKenzie, I can do what I want, why not?"
"This from the woman whose free will's in hock because she tried to take over the world for shits and giggles," McKenzie retorted. "Kettle, pot on line two for you, something about black."
"OKAY!" Sharinta cut in. "Stop flirting, you two. This storm looks about ready to-"
"Hey!" Leni's voice called from the parapet at the edge of the roof. "A little help?"
"Leni!" Sharinta said, running to the parapet. Neither Danandra or McKenzie bothered to move. Sharinta was trying to help the troll up and over the edge, to little avail.
Danandra sighed. "I thought we'd be able to do this without her around."
"You an' me both," McKenzie agreed. "She just ate three wolves, though, she's probably full."
"I see," Danandra said softly. "In that case, go help her over the edge."
"Oi! Mr Super Strength! You wanna maybe fucking use a bit of that right about now?" Sharinta shouted over the wind and rain.
"Really? Why?" McKenzie asked Danandra, ignoring Sharinta.
"Think about it: those aren't wolves McKenzie, they're townsfolk, which the curse probably considers innocent," Danandra explained, rolling up her sleeves.
It was McKenzie's turn to sigh. "Oh yeah. Okay then." He walked over to the parapet.
"Is this some trick?" Heska demanded from within the magical cage. "The troll is not to be permitted to interfere!"
"I'll tell her not to fuck about!" McKenzie said, reached down, grabbed Leni's wrist and heaved her effortlessly up and over.
"Thanks," Leni said. "Door was locked, had to climb. Not feeling too great."
"Well, I did fuckin' warn you about eating those wolves," McKenzie told her. "Now listen: don't fuck about," he said, as good as his word. "Really. Completely. Absolutely. Just literally stand here and do nothing, okay?"
"Okay. Danandra, can you-?" Leni pointed at her stomach.
Danandra glared, concentrated briefly, and blinked. Three wolves appeared in the air next to Leni, squashed together into an unwilling embrace but otherwise unharmed. They fell to the ground immediately, out cold. A number of their sister-wolves came rushing over and dragged them into the cage, just as the first really close roll of thunder broke around the tower roof.
"Right, are we done now? Looks like we're go for lift-off," McKenzie said. "Anyone else for boarding at gate hyperwere?"
"If by that you mean 'is anyone else getting in the cage', then yes, I did consider it, but since for all I know this exercise will simply result in the grisly and painful death of everything inside, no, I decided against it," Danandra said.
"I wholeheartedly fucking agree," Sharinta said. Leni sat down against the parapet wall looking miserable and said nothing.
A bolt of lightning flashed down out of the sky and connected with one of the spheres around the cage. The whole apparatus began to glow an unearthly orange colour (which surprised McKenzie, who'd been expecting blue) and the wolves started up with a dreadful, expectant howling. McKenzie could sense powerful magic beginning to build up, but as yet it was formless and undirected.
"Here we go! Stand ready!" Danandra shouted over the rising wind, driving rain and howling wolves.
"WILL YOU LOT PLEASE SHUT THE FUCK UP!" McKenzie shouted at the wolves, but they either didn't hear him or ignored him, and continued their unnerving racket as bolt after bolt of lightning hammered into the cage and the orange glow built up.
Well, all but two. Heska simply stood in the centre of the dome, head and shoulders above the others, and stared upwards. Narra had sat down on her haunches near the bars, and was looking intently at McKenzie. It was hard to tell, but she seemed resigned.
Thus it was for several minutes. McKenzie was actually starting to think, with a dreadful sinking feeling, that something had gone wrong and the experiment had failed.
Well, there's someone else depending on you let down, he told himself. Sterling work as usual, McKenzie you prick.
Then everything went silent. The rain stopped, the lightning ceased to flash down, and the wind died to nothing. The wolves ceased their forlorn howling and stared upward.
Only the clouds moved. Slowly at first, and then with greater speed, they formed a vortex above the glowing cage. From across the sky for miles around, they swirled closer and denser: stars could be seen from where Heska's magic was drawing their cover away. The wind picked up again, but it was the rushing and roaring of the unnatural tornado that assaulted McKenzie's ears, not honest weather.
"I think it's about to-" McKenzie said, and then it did.
The whirling clouds almost slammed together above the cage, and a constant, crackling stream of lighting ripped down from them to connect with the cage.
"Now!" McKenzie screamed, although it was unlikely anyone heard him. He reached out toward the cage and let the raw magical fire within him free: it raced down his arms and through the air to join the lightning streaming into the cage in a rushing torrent. Danandra visibly got control of herself, raised her arm, pointed at the cage and began to shout words of magic; Sharinta stared hard at it in preparation to channel her own power into the apparatus.
They needn't have bothered. As soon as McKenzie's quintessence connected with the cage its glow turned from dull orange to bright, shining white. It flared with a tremendous noiseless explosion that sent Sharinta and Danandra tumbling to the ground, interrupting their spellcasting before it had even begun.
McKenzie barely noticed it.
"Stop!" Heska shouted. Her voice was the same, but it now issued from a tall, slender, dark haired woman rather than a terrifying wolf-thing. McKenzie's lightning was now just reducing the apparatus to melted slag. Women of diverse ages and appearances in tattered, worn clothing were screaming and running around the roof.
"McKenzie!" Narra's voice got through to McKenzie: she had appeared at his side.
"Fuck!" McKenzie said. With a grunt of effort he cut off the flow of power, then sat down uncomfortably, suddenly devoid of energy.
"Are you alright, McKenzie?" Narra asked.
"Me? Bollocks to me. You were a wolf, how the fuck are you?" McKenzie answered, coughed, then looked up at blearily at Narra, who appeared to be entirely normal, with one exception - her hair was pure white.
"Fine," she said. "I think. I mean I'm me again..."
"Not quite, my dear," Heska's voice cut in. McKenzie looked up. Returned to human guise, she was a beautiful woman, and she gave off the same vibe of magical power which she had before - what was more, Narra did too. McKenzie glanced around the roof: none of the other recently transmogrified women were giving off a similar haze of magic, or at least not that his revamped senses could detect, but on the other hand it seemed that there hadn't been any fatalities, either.
"Yes," Heska said, seeming to read his thoughts. "I am greatly relieved that they all lived." Then she did a surprising thing: she bowed to McKenzie. "I had no idea of the extent of your power, Lord McKenzie. Given this power, it should seem almost redundant, but if ever you have need of me, I am in your debt for saving myself and my dear sisters from an eternity of-"
McKenzie interrupted with a bark of laughter, which unfortunately degenerated into a brief coughing fit. "Translation: holy fuck you're scarier than I thought, can I be on your good side now please? 'Dear sisters' my arse. You're a smart fucking operator, Lady H, I'll give you that."
Heska's face went very dark, but she carried on: "Nevertheless what I say is true. If ever you have need of my help, it is yours."
"Well, you can start by telling me what's happened to my friend. Then you can get these poor women some decent clothes and somethin' to eat and get them back to their families."
"That will likely take more than an hour," Heska hinted.
"I think the time for violence has passed, Lady Heska," Danandra said.
"Let's not jump to any fuckin' conclusions," McKenzie interjected.
Danandra ignored this and pressed on. "My compliments: I have rarely seen such art."
"I-" Heska started.
"Oi!" McKenzie said, tried to get up, and failed. "Ouch. Shit. Anyway, before we convene a session of the castle rooftop mutual appreciation society, I want answers. What's happened to Anaharra?"
"Anaharra?" Heska said, suddenly genuinely taken aback. "Do you mean to tell me that this is the Lost Princess of Vyrinia?"
"Oops," Sharinta said.
"Well done, McKenzie," Danandra shook her head. "When they were handing out discretion you weren't even in the queue, were you?"
"I told you: I don't do subtle," McKenzie said.
"They're not the same thing, although they both require intelligence and quite evidently you didn't get much of that eith-." Danandra fired back at him.
"It hardly matters here and now," Narra interrupted.
"You may rest assured that I will not disclose Her Imperial Highness' identity to anyone," Heska said.
"Groovy," McKenzie said, letting the 'intelligence' comment pass. "So what's happened to her."
"Nothing, and everything," Heska said. "My dear, help McKenzie to his feet."
Narra didn't look as if she was in the mood to take any instructions from Heska, but she stood and extended a hand to McKenzie. McKenzie took it - and was nearly flung off the castle roof as the slip-of-a-girl princess pulled him upright.
"Whoa! Easy tiger!" McKenzie said.
"Sorry!" Narra said, blushing.
"Wrong animal," Heska corrected. "Wolf. You are stronger, now, than you ever thought possible: and harder to hurt. Your life is extended beyond the bounds of elvenkind or were – and there are other gifts. Watch very carefully."
Heska walked around them, and between one step and the next basically turned into a wolf. There wasn't any great fuss about it - no magical glowing or gradual, bone-cracking transformation - she simply blipped into wolf-form (giant wolf-form, McKenzie noted - she was the size of a carthorse), then back again, and laughed.
"As effortless as blinking," she said. "It is exactly as I had theorised. You try," She encouraged Narra.
"I think I see how, but I'm not sure I could do it as easily as that," Narra seemed doubtful - not an illogical reaction, McKenzie thought.
"Later, eh?" He said. "Lady Heska, I think you better summon your bloke. If I'm not mistaken the panic and relief are wearing off and you're gonna have some splainin' to do to these women." He paused, suddenly unsure. He still didn't trust the magical sense."These are just women again, now right?" He asked.
Heska nodded. "They were lesser weres, now they are lesser humans: beings of little or no account."
"You and Danandra are gonna get on, I can tell. Anyway, the explaining is probably going to be easier in front of a fire with some food and dry clothes laid on - and oh yeah, I will have some of that wine now, thanks very bloody much."
"So do you genuinely feel normal?" McKenzie turned his back on everyone else and addressed Narra, who nodded.
"I do. I didn't want to say before, but I feel...incredible. Powerful. Strong. I feel like I could take on an army and win."
"Don't worry," McKenzie said wryly. "I'm sure it'll wear off - and armies are surprisingly difficult to fight on a one-to-one basis, take it from me."
"Can we trust her?" Narra asked, indicating Heska.
"No. Then again we probably can't trust Danandra or Sharinta, we definitely can't trust Leni and I've already made the point that you can't really trust me, so no change there really," McKenzie said. "Can you keep me upright?"
"Here, let me help too," Sharinta said, appearing at McKenzie's side.
"We'll manage, thank you Lady Sharinta," Narra said, with an air of protectiveness.
Sharinta grinned. "You can relax, Your Majesty, he's already turned me down as much as I'm going to give him the fucking chance to."
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McKenzie ignored the exchange. "If you wanna help, find one of these women with some authority over the others and let her know that for the next hour at least, Lady H isn't to be harmed, otherwise there'll be a regrettable incident."
"Danandra is already taking care of it," Sharinta said. She had, indeed, moved off.
"Really? Get after her quick, then. She's the least diplomatic person on the face of the planet, and that's me sayin' that. I don't want a riot on my hands, at least not until I can be on the right side without breaking my word, which the fucking curse probably won't let me do."
"Think for a moment about who the fuck you're about to send in her place," Sharinta pointed out.
McKenzie did. "Okay, then get Leni to-, no, wait, scratch that. Sharinta - stop me from falling over until I'm in front of a chair. Your Majesty, would you be so good as to explain what I just said to the formerly-wolves? Everyone else I could send is basically going to precipitate a disaster."
Narra didn't look too happy about it.
"I'll be fine," McKenzie said. "Generating lightning - or, y'know, whatever it is - isn't easy. I'm just tired."
Narra nodded and walked off in the direction of a knot of older, hard-faced women who were looking darkly at Heska.
"'Just tired' my perfectly shaped ass," Sharinta said, supporting him at the elbow. "What the fuck's happened to you?"
"No idea," McKenzie said. "However, even puttin' an end to Morak-"
"Mahrak."
"Whoever. Even that didn't require as much juice as just went into that gadget, and it happened one hell of a lot faster, too. Not going to be one of my better days, this, I reckon."
"You look okay," Sharinta said, peering at him. "By which I mean in my professional opinion as a mostly-dark cleric."
"Well, I feel fucking awful," McKenzie said. "So: wine."
"Wine it is, then."
Sharinta helped him limp downstairs as far as the main hall, where Narra and Danandra caught up with them. Narra almost forcibly relieved Sharinta of her burden, even though the burden in question was starting to be able to walk anyway.
"Her Majesty is quite a diplomat," Danandra reported.
"Lemme guess: your approach was to threaten to turn everyone back into a wolf if they caused any shit?" McKenzie hazarded.
"Almost: mouse. Can't do wolves. Yet," she replied.
"Hunh," McKenzie grunted.
"The townswomen have agreed to take no action for the next hour, as per the agreement with Lady Heska," Narra reported.
"The current agreement," Danandra said. "Sharinta - a word with you." She jerked her head away from McKenzie and Narra. Sharinta nodded. Narra and McKenzie continued onto the main hall.
- o O o -
It may or may not have been the wine, but after three quarters of an hour spent sitting down near the fire with a glass of it in his hand, he did actually feel better. A deputation of the younger townswomen were despatched to inform their menfolk of the good news, and, presumably, to organise a spontaneous pitchfork-bearing flash mob. McKenzie mentioned this to Narra, who had not left his side once she'd dealt with the business of heading off any immediate trouble.
"I'm thinking it'd be a good idea to hit the road about now," McKenzie said. "We can swing past the town and pick up whatever's left of our stuff. It's a good bet that we'll find the place mostly empty."
"Lady Heska has already packed her bags," Danandra said, walking up to them with Leni and Sharinta.
"She's not coming with us," McKenzie said.
"She is, at least for a while," Danandra replied, and Sharinta looked instantly uncomfortable. "We've made a deal with her."
"What the hell has she got to offer? This entire place is probably going to be a smouldering pile of rocks by the end of today: we can nick whatever we want with a clean conscience. Well, give or take a smudge here and there," McKenzie said.
"The thought did occur," Sharinta said - McKenzie noted she was holding a small but heavy-looking sack behind her back.
"So I see. I get a cut of that, by the way," McKenzie said.
"No way! It's not my fucking fault you sat here getting drunk rather than-"
"Going on the rob?"
"Well, yeah. But like you say, it's not like there's going to be any evidence."
"Hmph. Anyway, the point still stands. Go loot whatever it is you want, Danandra, then we'll hit the road on our own. She's a bloody riot-magnet, I don't really want to be around her," McKenzie said.
"I too do not wish to travel with Lady Heska," Narra said. "In fact if I ever see that bitch again it'll be too soon, do I make myself clear?"
This was a really surprising thing for the usually quiet and reticent Narra to say, but then she did something even stranger: she growled, her eyes flashed - literally flashed, bright green - and her next statement was delivered in a truly scary tone.
"I'll rip her throat out and throw her twitching corpse to the mob," Narra said.
"Whoa," Sharinta said. "You have changed, Your Majesty."
"Perhaps I have not changed all that much, Lady Sharinta. Perhaps I'm just a lot stronger and therefore happier about telling people what I really think in a tone that expresses how I feel about it. In this particular case: bitch, throat, twitching corpse, mob," Narra stated.
"Couldn't have growled it better myself," McKenzie said.
Narra beamed at him, then continued: "So this is what's going to happen. You three travel with Lady Heska, I will travel with Lord McKenzie, and we will meet outside the Imperial Palace in Vyrinios so that I can kick the doors down and take my crown off whoever is currently pretending to wear it. I would say 'Agreed?', but that implies I either want or need your agreement, which I don't."
"Your Majesty," Danandra said, "we cannot protect you if we are not travelling together, and we have sworn to guard your life."
"A fact you conveniently forgot when you invited a dangerous weremage along for the ride - or I should say walk, rather, as I understand her minions have devoured our horses," Narra stated.
Danandra went pale with anger. McKenzie laughed.
"Both good points," he said.
Danandra took a breath. "Nevertheless, I-"
"Until we meet again, then, Lady Danandra," Narra interrupted her, getting to her feet. "Lord McKenzie, would you be so kind as to accompany me back to the town?"
McKenzie sighed. "I'd love nothing more, but I doubt I'll be allowed to get more than twenty yards away from the coven here. You should feel free to take your leave, though, Your Majesty - the thing to be frightened of around here is currently you."
"McKenzie!" Danandra objected. "The Archmage has commanded us to see to Her Majesty's safety!"
"Danandra!" McKenzie imitated her tone. "Maybe we've got differing ideas about whose company she's gonna be safest in. Leni probably wants to eat her for lunch, your new BFF Lady Heska wants God knows what from who knows who, frankly I'm never totally unsuspicious of you and Sharinta and I'm dangerously unpredictable at the best of times. Let's face it, she's way better off on her own."
"McKenzie, I don't intend to desert you," Narra said. "When we go, we go together, like we said."
Sharinta shot Narra a suspicious glance, and then transferred it to McKenzie.
"You're not talking just about this castle, are you?" Sharinta said.
"None of your fucking business," McKenzie told her.
"Have you broken it?" Danandra asked intently, and everyone involved in the conversation knew exactly what she was talking about.
"I refer the right dishonourable lady to my previous response: none of your fucking business either, you nosy ginger bint."
Danandra practically hissed in response to that.
"Am I interrupting something?" Lady Heska asked. She had changed into dark clothing not unlike Danandra's, and was trailed by Marn, who was lugging a suitcase.
"Nope," McKenzie said. "Deals off, though, whatever it was. Your hour is up and you're on your own luv."
"I anticipated that you would create difficulties," Lady Heska said. "You may name your price, Lord McKenzie. Jewels, gold-" she glanced at Danandra - "knowledge" - she looked back to McKenzie, "other favours."
McKenzie shot her a withering glance. "Get over yourself. What I'd really like," McKenzie said, "is for you to fuck off, but whether I like it or not, something tells me that isn't going to happen." The curse was saying Lady Heska was coming with them.
"Correct. My apologies, Your Majesty, but Lady Heska will be travelling with us, for a time, at least."
"Sorry, Anaharra," McKenzie said. "Look on the bright side, though, Leni'll probably try to eat her at some point. Whether she succeeds or ends up as a smouldering damp patch where a troll used to be standing, we're rid of at least one person we don't like."
"McKenzie!" Leni said.
"Like the thought didn't cross your mind," McKenzie riposted.
"I can assure you none of this unpleasantness is necessary," Lady Heska said, although you could tell she wasn't at all happy with McKenzie. "I have no wish to incite violence with anyone here, and I would sooner destroy a priceless work of art than cause the slightest harm to Her Majesty - we are the only two of our kind in existence, after all."
McKenze had a brainwave. "Excellent - in that case swear to me on a stack of whatever it is you hold dear, in a way that I'll know is proper unbreakable, that you'll do your absolute and level best to stick to that and see that no harm comes to her until she is on her own away from all of us, and then not only will I stop bitching about this whole thing and let you come with us, but I will be genuinely glad to have you along."
Danandra, Leni and Sharinta all opened their mouths to protest, but it was too late.
"Done, and gladly. I swear that I shall do as you just said, and if I fail, may my magic be lost to me forever." Heska held out her hand, and McKenzie took it. There was an almost tangible sense of an unshakeable deal being made.
"Oh," Sharinta said.
"Indeed," Danandra said.
"Well, welcome to the cursed coven, Lady H. As promised, I am now genuinely glad to have you along. Now if you'll excuse me Her Majesty and I are off to loot your castle a little bit before we have to flee the torch-bearing mob you've brought down on it."
"McKenzie, what have you just done?" Narra asked as they walked away.
"Double-crossed the curse," McKenzie grinned at her. "And hopefully bought some insurance."
"I don't understand. It's making me want to break things, not understanding. It's a new sensation but I find I cannot disapprove of it. Could you provide an explanation?" Narra asked.
"I'm starting to really identify with the new you, Narra, do you know that? McKenzie smiled at her. "Hyperwere seems to suit you."
"One grows into it remarkably quickly," Narra replied. "Seriously though, it appears to come with a matching degradation in temper. Explanation? Now?"
McKenzie threw her an appraising look. More than just her hair had changed. She was quite evidently not the same girl.
"Gonna need to fire up the anti-curse if I'm gonna be able to talk about this in detail. Wait a sec," McKenzie pulled the Archmage's construct out of his memory and fed it some power. This time the headache kicked in immediately, and he had to lean against the wall.
"Shitfuck. Urgh. It's worse now. You can't trust anyone controlled by the curse - not those three, not even me. The curse will tell them to stop you leaving and I'm going to have to work really hard to break it. Heska isn't controlled by the - ouch, fuck - curse, and while you were furry earlier Danandra alluded to the fact that Heska is more than a match for her and Sharinta combined. The deal I just made, which certainly seemed binding, puts her on your side and your side alone - which is why I'm-" McKenzie explained.
"Enough! Stop!" Narra said. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked, I can't bear to see you like that." Tears were streaming down her face. "What has she done to me?"
"I don't know," McKenzie said, putting an arm around her for emotional support although, when his legs gave out, it was quickly repurposed to stop him falling over. "Although if the worst side effect is a really bad temper, you learn to live with it, trust me on this."
"McKenzie, you're not well," Narra said, getting herself together and supporting him - with ease. "Something has happened to you, when you used your power."
"Looks like you've been gifted with increased powers of observation, too," McKenzie told her, and received A Look in return. "Get me over to that door," he said, indicating a stout wooden door set into the wall.
Narra helped him hobble to the door. McKenzie balled his fist and punched it. It broke in the middle and fell off it's hinges in two pieces.
"Looks like I'm fine," he said. "Let's go see if there's anything useful in there worth nicking."
- o O o -
There wasn't anything useful to loot in that room or the dozen which they tried afterwards, although they did learn that a) Narra could break down doors with almost as much ease as McKenzie and b) she didn't object to her new hair overmuch, when she saw it in a mirror. He started to feel a little more normal, although the experience on the roof had left him with an uncomfortable feeling of unreadiness for the escape attempt which, if Christine's approximate timing was to be relied on, could be as soon as only a few hours: back on Earth, it was the morning of the Indradeshi nuclear test. It was getting gradually lighter outside on this planet, too, which became obvious when everyone (with the exception of Heska, Marn, Leni and, oddly to McKenzie's mind, the recently un-wolfed women) gathered at the front gate to meet the Official Torch Bearing Mob. There was also in evidence a great number of bows, the town's guards were there in armour and rusty swords, and anyone else appeared to have armed himself with at least an axe or an improvised spear fashioned from a broom handle and a knife, if not both - and from the occasional glint of silver, the town blacksmith had been busy following McKenzie's example of upgrading their kit to be werewolf-capable. There were more people than McKenzie could easily count, and if they decided to rush forward and attack, then McKenzie rated it as quite likely that there would be fatalities on both sides.
The front of the castle wasn't as high up as the side which faced the town - there was only a short, wide ramp leading down to a road which wound off through the trees. The townswomen went running down it for emotional reunions with their nearest and dearest. This took up a few minutes, and then a deputation of concerned-looking men took a few nervous steps forward to address McKenzie. The barman, the blacksmith and Keb were among them, and they were all carrying familiar-looking packs as well as standard issue mob torches.
"Our respectful thanks to you and your companions, honoured sir, for liberatin' our womenfolk," said Keb, who appeared to have been elected, or at least forcefully railroaded, into the role of spokesman. "We brought your effects from the inn, thinking that you'd want to be movin' on now your work here be over."
SUBTLE HINT, McKenzie thought wryly. Aloud, he said: "Thanks. Give 'em to my friend, here." McKenzie indicated Narra, who, to the surprise of the men, easily hefted all five bags over one slender arm.
"Our thanks again, good sir," Keb said. "Are there any of our womenfolk inside, still? Are they injured, like?"
"Don't think so. Probably getting repeatedly changed into different outfits, you know what women are like going out," McKenzie told him.
"Not quite," Danandra said quietly, and all eyes were on her.
"Eh?" McKenzie asked.
"The criminal Heska," Danandra stated, seemingly in a massive non-sequitur, "will be delivered to the Mages' Council of Vyrinios to be tried before a gathering of her peers in the art."
"Yeah, right," McKenzie sniffed sarcastically.
"Beggin' your pardon, your ladyship, but we're here to deal with the witch ourselves," Keb told her.
"You kind of aren't," Sharinta said. "Sorry."
There were angry mutterings from the mob, which, in a group of people that size, were audible and very threatening.
"As a surety of your co-operation with magical law in this matter," Danandra announced, "it has been deemed regrettably necessary that a deputation of the women of your town will accompany us for a short distance, until we are some distance from your town. They will then be free to return, unharmed."
"We strongly suggest you refrain from fucking us about on this," Sharinta added.
The mutterings continued. Narra looked faintly shocked.
"We're taking hostages now?" McKenzie asked in an aside. "This is a new low even by our standards."
"Well, if you're now so fucking keen on having Heska along, this is the easiest way," Sharinta retorted. "You don't have to like it. I don't like it - but we need to keep a united front on this unless you want to spend the next few hours fending off pitchforks."
McKenzie grunted, and turned back to Keb. "Well, there it is. They'll be fine as long as you lot keep your temper. You can amuse yourselves by burning the castle down while you wait. For now, fuck off."
"But you can't just-" Keb started.
"Just did," McKenzie told him. "Deal with it."
Keb looked bleak. "There's a lot of us 'ere, sir," he said. "Beggin' your pardon. We ain't got no quarrel with you or your companions, but we will see justice done on the witch."
McKenzie sighed.
"Fair enough, we'll go let your womenfolk free and get the witch," he said. "Go back to your people and pick maybe a dozen good men to take custody of her. Pick carefully, mind you - she's dangerous."
Keb smiled. "Knew you'd see the sense of it, sir." He nodded and the townspeople left.
"McKenzie!" Danandra said. "I have no intention of-"
"Me neither, but they're not gonna budge on this," he said in an undertone. "They'll twig any minute that I was bullshitting them, and when they do I want that fucking gate shut. Quick - but nonchalantly - everyone inside."
"There is no reason not to keep to my plan!" Danandra hissed at him as they returned to the gates.
"Yes there fucking is," McKenzie said. "One, it's a dumbass fucking plan. Two, it involves hostages and taking hostages never fucking helps any situation as well as being a fuck-off shitty thing to do. Three, because I said so." The 'so' coincided with McKenzie pulling the massive gates shut single-handedly and slamming the bar into place.
"Change of plan?" Heska asked, appearing in the entrance hall and raising an eyebrow.
"Yep," McKenzie said, his eyes alighting on a coach to one side of the castle's courtyard. "Anaharra needs to learn how to wolf up - you've got like a minute. Your Majestiness, I know you might have the odd reservation about turning into a wolf but please put it aside for now and remember that if you can turn back whenever you want it frankly sounds fucking awesome and I wish I could do it too. Sharinta, go get Leni and the butler. Tell them to bring the women down here, stat."
"Stat?" Sharinta asked.
"Means do it fucking yesterday," McKenzie supplied. "Oh, and let me borrow that sack. Yes, you can have it back."
"You are so sexy when you think you know what you're doing and start issuing peremptory orders," Sharinta said. "I'll do it anyway though just for the fucking laugh." She handed him the sack of looted valuables and strode away. McKenzie shook it - it clanked and jingled convincingly.
"She's right. You don't know what you're doing, do you?" Danandra asked accusatorily.
"Oh ye of little faith and even less patience with other people," McKenzie said. "I know exactly what I'm doing."
"I know I am, so to speak, the most recent guest at the party, but would you mind explaining it to the rest of us?" Heska asked.
"Bait and switch," McKenzie said. "Watch and see. You're supposed to be running a tutorial on shapeshifting, by the way. Time's a wastin'."
Heska looked profoundly unimpressed, but nevertheless took Narra off to one side and started changing back and forth.
Sharinta returned leading the women. "Good. Here come our guests. Danandra, look like you're paying attention to me as they get closer," McKenzie said.
"There isn't enough acting talent in the world to give that impression," Danandra snorted disdainfully, but looked at him with a parody of attentiveness nevertheless.
"-and while they're busy out the front, we'll escape through the other gate. We'll be carrying a lot of gold out of the castle" - he jingled the sack - "so I want to-" McKenzie said, then, turning around as if just noticing the townswomen, went quiet.
"Ah, ladies. Good. Sorry about the misunderstanding, you're free to go. Bye now, enjoy your new fur-free existences. Leni, gate, please, as long as no-one is about to storm it," McKenzie said.
Leni peered through the small spy-hole set into the gate. "Nope," she said, and raised the bar.
None of the women said anything as they left, but they gave Leni as wide a berth as they possibly could and fled down the ramp. Leni heaved the gate shut again and replaced the bar.
"Well, there goes our leverage," Danandra said. "What next, oh glorious leader?"
McKenzie walked over to the coach and, grabbing the pointy wooden bit, pulled it out into the middle of the courtyard.
"Get all our shit loaded onto this bad boy," he said.
"Have you noticed any horses in the stables? I haven't. Lots of horse bones, but no actual horses. You're an idiot," Danandra snapped.
McKenzie grinned. "Horses are so five minutes ago. I plan on pulling this bad boy with wolfpower."
A howl of triumph came from across the courtyard, and two enormous wolves - one black, one white - came bounding over. Mid-bound, the white wolf morphed effortlessly into Narra, who gave vent to a peal of delighted laughter. The black wolf turned into Heska a hearbeat later.
"It's amazing!" Narra reported. "The smells, the feeling of power." She glanced sideways at Heska, who was also smiling. "I'm still not happy with you, though."
"You will come to value this gift above gold or diamonds," Heska replied.
"Whatevs," McKenzie said. "So the crash-course went well, good. How fast d'you reckon you two can pull this?" He slapped the wheel of the coach. "I reckon the harness'll fit round if that'll help."
"I am not getting into harness!" Heska declared haughtily.
"Don't knock it 'til you've tried it," Sharinta interjected with a grin.
"Not the time, Shar," McKenzie cut her off. "Fine, whatever, just bite onto the wooden bit that goes across the front, I don't care - but someone's gotta pull this fucking thing and you and Her Majesty are the only people here who come with a four-legged option."
"You don't seem to understand - I am not a beast of burden. I do not pull coaches. That is an end to the matter."
"Stay behind then and burn, Lady Heska, we shall pull it ourselves," Narra told her. "I might also remind you that you won't be able to protect yourself very well, as your magic will have gone. You cannot keep an oath to protect me from behind the walls of your castle."
"Blam! Logic!" McKenzie laughed. "It won't be for very long, your ladyshipness, don't worry."
"If you were hopin' they'd go round the back, they have, sorta," Leni reported from where she was peering through the spyhole. "There's maybe a dozen or so still out front."
"Better than I'd hoped for," McKenzie said, opening the coach doors and chucking their bags in. "We ain't gettin' any readier, let's go. Wait, where the fuck is Jeeves?"
"Who?" Sharinta asked.
"Whatsisface. The butler. Servant bloke," McKenzie answered.
"Marn," Heska replied.
"Yeah, Marn. He's coming with us, right?" McKenzie asked her.
It was Leni who answered. "Um, yeah. In a manner of speaking."
McKenzie glowered at her.
"The curse is fine with it!" She said defensively. "He must've been evil, letting those women get turned into wolves."
"The fucking curse is fine with a lot of shit that isn't fucking fine," McKenzie said. "And 'evil' is too relative a term for my liking. I expect a lotta people'd do stuff they might not agree with if a terrifying and insane wolf-mage was doing the asking."
"I take it you have eaten my servant," Heska stated. She didn't sound particularly surprised or bothered.
"Yeah, she has. She's annoying that way," McKenzie answered.
"Our apologies, Lady Heska," Danandra said in a conciliatory tone. "Violentia is a troll, unfortunately, and-"
"This is neither the time nor place to address the matter," Heska cut in. "Let us first make good our escape."
"I'm on board with that approach," McKenzie shrugged. "Danandra, Shar, on the coach. Leni and I can move fast enough that we don't need to be on it - Leni, you follow it, as close as you can. We go down the ramp, past or through or over whoever is at the bottom, and then we head for Vyrinios. When we've put some distance between us and this place, we can ditch the coach and continue on foot until we can get hold of some horses. If one or more people of a magical persuasion want to chip in with any non-lethal badassery to help with this, that'd be fine too. Everyone clear?"
Everyone nodded. Narra came up to him, gave him a hug, and kissed him. "For luck," she said, and smiled a small smile, then turned away. Between one step and the next, she became the wolf again. Heska joined her and they each gripped the wagon's crosspiece in their jaws.
"Madness," Danandra said, as she got into the coach.
"What are you going to be doing?" Sharinta asked, halfway in.
"Crowd control," McKenzie answered, and ripped the massive wooden bar from the door. "Leni - open the gates."
Leni opened the gates. McKenzie hefted the bar across his chest with a grunt of effort, then broke into a lumbering run down the ramp, heading straight for the amazed mob below.
With a growl and a scrape of metal rims across flagstones, he heard the carriage start to move behind him, but then he was taking huge bounds downhill, spurred on almost as much by the need to stay upright under the burden of the heavy beam as by his own efforts.
Things were complicated somewhat when it burst into flame halfway down. He felt the tingle of magic from it and a blast of heat, but, as usual, no pain. Someone either in or pulling the coach was trying to help, but it effectively made it impossible to see where he was going or see what effect his actions were having on the crowd below. It achieved its desired goal, though: when he got to the bottom there was nothing there except a few weapons that had been dropped in panic, including a guardsman's spear. McKenzie tossed the flaming beam into the grass by the side of the road and picked up the spear. He looked at the trees.
"Good!" He shouted. "And if anyone sticks their head out of the woods or tries to follow us, they get this through the chest, understood?"
There was no reply, except, if it counted, from Danandra.
"Get out of the way, idiot!" She shouted.
McKenzie turned and swore - the carriage was bearing down on him at a blistering pace.
"Shit!" He swore, and dived somewhat gracelessly out of the way. It rattled past down the rough tracks to Vyrinios, unmolested, with Leni loping after it. McKenzie picked himself up - luckily, he'd landed in the grass and not the mud.
"Don't come back this way if you value your life, freak!" A voice came out of the trees.
"Aw crap, and I'd changed my holiday plans for this year to return to your miserable stinking shithole of a town for the annual Beer and Incest Festival! I'm gutted!" McKenzie shouted back derisively.
There was already smoke rising from behind the castle - the torching had already begun. McKenzie sniffed, turned, and walked nonchalantly down the rough, semi-overgrown road after the carriage.
- o O o -
He didn't hurry after it - he was following it, and it seemed enough for the curse that he did so at a walking pace for now. Instead, he dug his phone out and called Christine.
She answered after only three rings.
"McKenzie? You're phoning me?" She said.
"That's either an indication of just how appallingly bad I am at ringing people, or you're surprised I can place a call from another planet," McKenzie said.
"A little - okay, a lot - from column A and a lot from column B, too," Christine replied.
"Can you talk? You're not in the middle of the supercomputer bad guys thing, are you?" McKenzie asked her.
"No, I can talk. Well, sort of. It's loud."
"Loud? You are in the middle of it, aren't you?" McKenzie said.
"No, it's totally over. I'm in a police station, there's a lot of shouting going on. The FBI are pissed at us. Technically speaking we're like private investigators, we were absolutely not supposed to be doing this," she explained.
"Everyone OK? Everyone involved on the right side of bars?" McKenzie asked. "Did you have to chuck anyone out of a window with your mind? That was always massively impressive."
"Everyone is, yes, no-one got away with any secret data so they could put their plan into action another day, I didn't have to throw anyone out of any windows, and the death ray almost got fired but I fried the power supply at the last second."
"Cool! How'd you manage that?" McKenzie asked her.
"It was so awesome - Jimmy zapped the death ray thingamajigger out of the window into the street but it was still going to go off, and there was like this building site across the street, and I saw these girders, so I reached out and lifted one and willed it straight through the middle of the power supply." Christine sounded girlishly enthused.
"Did you say anything?"
"I said 'It's time to pull the plug on this party!' when I did it."
"I am so proud of you right now," McKenzie told her.
"You sound like my dad."
McKenzie winced. "Ouch. I'm 400-odd years old, Christine, and considering our history that is a really inappropriate comparison."
"Sorry Crowbar. I forget. So anyway, that worked out okay. Did you rescue your girlfriend from the werewolves?" Christine asked.
"Yeah, sort of," McKenzie replied.
"That doesn't sound good."
"No, it's fine. Mostly."
"Crowbar, you're obviously desperate to share, so please do," Christine prompted him.
"Well everyone's free," McKenzie said. "Plus we rescued a load of innocent - well innocent-ish - townsfolk. Changed everyone who'd been transformed into a werewolf back into people."
"So why are you not happy about this? Is anyone hurt?" Christine asked. "Did you forget to say 'time to let these people off the leash'?"
"No. There were definitely one-liners, and no-one's hurt per se," McKenzie replied.
"Who's Percy?" Christine asked.
"Let me rephrase that - nobody got hurt like injured hurt. Well, unless you count the butler. He got eaten," McKenzie said. "I forgot about him for a minute."
"No-one ever remembers the ordinary working guy in these sorts of things. Eaten by werewolves. That's no way to go," Christine said sympathetically.
"Well, actually Leni 'et him afterwards. You have to watch her constantly," McKenzie admitted.
"Ew. Poor Percy."
"He wasn't called Percy, Christine," McKenzie corrected her.
"Oh, sorry, of course, you already said Percy wasn't hurt."
McKenzie sighed and let it go. "So yeah, the only thing is, well, Narra has some superpowers now."
"Oh okay. This is a good thing, McKenzie."
"Yeah. Um, she's a werewolf now," McKenzie said. "That's the bad thing. Apart from the dead butler, obviously, which is also bad but not my fault, which Narra being a werewolf is."
"A werewolf!" Christine yelped.
"Sort of. It's ended up being called hyperwere. She can flip back between wolf and person whenever she feels like it, and I do mean flip, it's like a switch. Which film are you currently imagining as a reference point?"
"American Werewolf in London."
"Nothing like that. Tidier. Also she's extremely strong and seems to have developed a foul temper."
"Well at least you can advise her on the last two. That's like you in a nutshell," Christine said.
"Christine! Seriously, she's been changed and it's my fault. I was supposed to look after her."
"Sorry, Crowbar. Listen, lots of people deal with their anger management issues on a daily basis - it's not that big of a deal. If she can choose wolf or girl, great, that's under control, and you've made her a lot stronger. I've heard worse deals," Christine said.
"Her hair's gone all white-coloured now too," McKenize added.
"Then it'll be easy for her to dye it any colour she wants without having to get it bleached first," Christine said. "Another plus. Seriously: not a bad deal all round."
"Yeah, I know. What's done is done," McKenzie said. "Are we still on for today?"
"Absolutely. As soon as Lemuel gets here to talk to the FBI, we're gone. You and your hippy chick werewolf girlfriend are totally definitely coming home today," Christine assured him.
"He's still in the dark about this, yeah?" McKenzie asked.
"He hasn't got a clue," Christine answered.
"Good. So anyways, I better catch up with the wolf-drawn carriage."
"Wolf drawn ca-?"
"I'll tell you tonight," McKenzie said. "Hadda think creatively vis a vis getaway vehicle options."
"Okay."
"Thanks for the chat. I feel a bit better about the whole hyperwere thing now," McKenzie said.
"Well, when the superhero thing winds down, now I know I can go into super-counselling. I bet it totally pays better," Christine said.
"I'd bet on that too. Supervillain pays even better, you know," McKenzie grinned.
"I am not coming over to the dark side," Christine said, and laughed.
"The hours aren't as punishing either," McKenzie told her.
"That I can believe. Oh - gotta go. Witness statement."
"And there's no paperwork," McKenzie said. "Seriously. Dark side. Think about it."
"I'm totally hanging up now," Christine said.
"Fine. Have fun with Mulder and Scully. Call me if anything changes."
"Will do. Take care," Christine disconnected the call.
McKenzie slipped his phone back into his jacket, then broke into a jog.