My heart sank.
I ran over and grabbed my sketchbook as fast as I could.
“Julie! What the hell?” I screeched, holding the book to my chest and probably wrinkling some of the pages.
Anger and surprise flooded through me. Julie just stood up and glared at me.
I almost didn’t recognise her…
“I can’t believe you drew him. Is he really that special?” She shook her head.
My heart convulsed.
“He might be, why do you hate him so much?” I frowned.
Julie gaped at me.
“Ravina, you’re an idiot if you think that boy wants you for anything other than a sexy story to tell his friends.”
What the fuck!?
I glared at her.
“You’re just jealous that I have a boyfriend.”
She rolled her eyes, throwing herself onto my bed.
“Please, Ravina. He’s your fake boyfriend in a fucking game. Are you really that desperate?”
I couldn’t understand what was happening. This was Julie, this was my best friend. What the fuck-
“What the hell is your problem?” I said, my voice wavering.
I must not cry!
“He’s my problem,” she sighed. “He’s using you and you can’t see it. I didn’t know you were such a slut Ravina, but I guess this guy brings it out in you.”
I gasped. Slut? Julie-
“Is that what you think of me-”
“Yes.”
Fury curled in my chest and I thought I saw red slice my vision.
“Get. Out.” I growled at her.
Julie’s eyes turned dark, and she sneered at me viciously.
“What a loser…” she shook her head, getting up.
I could feel the tears starting.
“I thought we were losers together,” I whispered.
She put her hand on the door handle, and then turned to me.
I watched her eye my sketchbook, and then Theo’s jacket.
“Yeah well,” she said. “That was before you were being fucked by one of the most popular guys in school.”
Oh hell no bitch-
“I haven’t!” I shouted. “Are you really that jealous of me?”
Julie just opened the door, and over her shoulder on the way out, called back;
“Whore.”
Then I was on the floor. Crying.
Whore, was I a whore? No.
Why would she say that to me!? Julie! Why…
My hands were shaking as I carefully flipped through my sketchbook. A sob escaped my throat when I saw all the pictures I’d been drawing, or had drawn of Theo, were all either ripped up or drawn over in sharpie.
It must have taken her a while to do this. How long was Julie in my room, going through my stuff? Destroying my art, because she hated my boyfriend.
Yes, boyfriend. Theo was my boyfriend. And I thought I loved him…
But it turned out everyone else hated us.
I started crying uncontrollably, as I reached for my phone.
I need him.
When I was finally done recounting what had happened, Theo looked as horrified as I felt. God. What was my life anymore?
“Ravina…” he started slowly, but I knew he had no clue what to say.
I shook my head.
“No, I don’t think that way either. I don’t believe her, not about you and not about me.”
Everybody believed Theo and I were opposites. And we were. There’s no rational reason for him and I to work. But we do. It’s like both of us just started caring a little too much.
“I can’t believe she’d say something like that to you,” he frowned, his forehead creased.
“I know, me too. At least James said what he said about us out of kindness. Julie was just a full-on bitch.”
I watched as something strange flickered in Theo’s eyes. I recognized it in myself.
“James was way over the line, I won’t be forgiving him anytime soon.” He growled.
“I’m not so mad at James now,” I told Theo. “He was only worried about you. Julie was jealous, there’s a difference.”
He shook his head-
“Please reconsider forgiving him.” I said.
God, I really hope we both didn’t lose a friend...
“I’ll think about it Ravina.” Theo sighed, but I could tell by his tone that he was simply done talking about this.
I nodded. “Alright, should we keep walking?”
“Yeah,” he tried to smile.
Hmm, what should we talk about? Frick. Anything to change the subject-
Unauthorized tale usage: if you spot this story on Amazon, report the violation.
“You look cold, I’m not. I can give you your jacket back.” I said.
Theo laughed softly, swinging my hand between us as we walked.
“I’m fine Rav. Besides, you look cute.”
I smiled. Yeah I did. I felt like a vampire, hiding from the clouds under my hood.
“I want to keep this,” I smiled at him, tugging softly on the insanely long sleeves.
He smiled, then stopped me a second time to bend down and kiss the top of my head.
“Okay. I want it back when it starts to smell like you, alright? My little emo kitten.”
I giggled, tilting my head up to meet my lips to his. Theo kissed me softly and I felt his smile. This worked. We worked. I liked (loved) being with him and I’d be damned if I let anyone stop this.
We kept going to the train tracks, and when we were once again at the edge of the forest, Theo bent down to carry me. I didn’t even bother being shy or trying to say no. Theo liked doing this too. He liked (loved) being with me too.
He turned his phone flashlight on and I held it as we made our way though the trees.
When we reached the abandoned train, like fucking apocalypse world, he let me down again. I let go of him and ran quickly over to our spot on the grass.
“Are we playing truth or dare?” He asked, sitting down cross-legged next to me.
I placed his phone on the grass so that the light shone upwards, illuminating our feet and the ground around us.
I shook my head. “No, no games.”
I hoped he could hear in my voice that I meant all the games, but Theo didn’t react except to nod.
“Okay,” he said. “Then what do you want to do?”
I smiled and leaned closer to him.
“Move your hands,” I said, going to sit on his lap and folding myself up.
I was really small, and I heard Theo laugh as his arms wrapped around me and pulled me close against him.
He’s twined around me like ivy. Yes, this was where I wanted to be. As small as possible, surrounded by his warmth…
He placed his chin on my head and I closed my eyes. I was done thinking about it. I’ve made up my mind. I want him, just him. Because I loved him. I lost.
And I didn’t care about college, or The Love Game, or Julie, or James, or anyone else.
Theodore Kim was mine and I wouldn’t allow anything to come between us, not even me.
“Tell me about your home,” I said softly.
“You’ve been there-” he mumbled, confused.
I smiled. “No, about Seoul.”
“Oh,” I could hear the surprise in his voice.
“Why do you want to hear about it?”
I shrugged, “I want to know you better. I want to know why you miss it so much.”
I heard and felt him sigh. “Okay… ”
I closed my eyes again and just listened to his breathing, his heartbeat, and his voice.
“It really isn’t too special. The air is nowhere near as clean as it is here, and the seasons are basically the same,” he said. “The people are nice enough. I don’t know why I miss it, actually, I was so young when we left.”
I loved hearing him talk…
“I guess I liked all the tall buildings. I liked to go walking in the rain with my sister, and sometimes my parents would come with us. We’d walk by the river for an hour or so, and then walk all the way back. That was before the family business was very big. You know, back when my parents still had time for us. And then I got sick and we had to move. I don’t know, maybe I just miss home because I miss the way it was before. Being with them, with no pressure. I miss being six years old…” Theo laughed shyly.
I was totally blissed out-
“Am I talking too much?” He asked suddenly.
“Not at all,” I smiled. “I could listen to you talk forever, it’s like my favorite sound.”
I heard him laugh again, and realized that might be my second favorite sound. I was totally in love with him…
“What else should I talk about?” He asked. “Hmm?” He kissed my head again.
I blushed, “Anything.”
I knew he was grinning again. It caused my heart to do funny things.
“Hey, I had an idea.” I said.
I was thinking about it earlier, but now I was feeling brave so I should just say it.
“Yeah?”
I bit my lip. “Um, my mom is taking my brother fishing down at the lake this weekend for two days, it’s like their thing, just the two of them.”
I was blushing bright red, and very thankful that he couldn’t see my face.
“What is it Ravina?”
“Do you want to umm, maybe stay at my place over the weekend?”
As soon as I said it I wanted to take it back. Ahh! I was so awkward-
“I mean unless that’s weird or something, I don’t know, you don’t have to obviously just if you wanted which you probably don’t, I’m just-”
And then Theo interrupted my babbling by laughing. He laughed a lot, and I was totally embarrassed and bright red.
“Sure, Rav.” He finally stopped giggling.
I smiled, “I thought you thought it was stupid, why were you laughing so hard?”
“You’re so funny when you’re nervous, you go on and on. Remember at James’ party?” He asked.
Oh boy, did I remember. Yeah. That bitch danced with him. I was still bitter about that…
“Of course. That was so embarrassing, I couldn’t stop talking.”
He squeezed me, “I know. I don’t think I’d ever heard someone fit so many syllables in three seconds.”
I blushed. Yeah yeah, we got it. Ravina The Rapper…
I turned and met his eyes. He was smiling still, but he was also staring at me.
“I liked what happened after,” he said slowly.
My heart raced and I had to refrain from mumbling me too.
Theo shook his head, maybe to clear his own thoughts, and I watched with curious fascination as strands of black hair fell over his eyes. Boom boom, boom boom-
I could practically hear my heartbeat…
My hand reached up of its own volition to tuck his hair behind his ear. I soon realised I was smiling and when I finally looked at him again, Theo’s eyes held that familiar darkness that pulled at me like a magnet. Always incredible, always irresistible. I wasn’t sure I could draw that feeling if I tried.
I flashed back to when I’d first kissed him, remembering pausing before I did as I stared into his eyes. They’d turned this smoky black color then too, and at the time I didn’t realize the power they would soon hold over me.
Have I ever been as captured by a sunset as I am by this person? Or a song or a feeling? Theo drew me in like gravity, and I was as helpless to resist him as the Moon was to the Earth.
I wasn’t playing a game anymore. He might not know that, but it didn’t matter. I loved him, and that truth burned through me like the sun….
I shyly leaned forward to press a kiss to his cheek. Just once. He’d shaved today, I could tell, his skin was soft. I resisted the urge to giggle and instead pulled away and smiled at him.
“You’re pretty cute you know,” I told him, my mood getting the better of me.
Theo blushed and his eyes quickly darted away…
I held my breath and said fuck it. Why play truth or dare when I can tell him everything on my mind like there’s no tomorrow-
“And I never said so, but I actually knew you. Before we met.”
Saying it outloud I suddenly realised how insane it sounded, but Theo was listening so I better just go for it.
“Tenth grade. You helped me carry my art project to class after I dropped it. I knew you were popular so I stayed away from you after.” I shrugged.
Theo blinked a few times, and then suddenly his expression changed.
“That was you!” He looked impressed.
“Of course that was you, who the hell else would try to carry ten posters in each hand.” He grinned, laughing.
I laughed too and then noticed I was holding onto his shoulders…
Theo stopped smiling long enough to sigh, “Ah, Ravina. You crazy girl. I wish I’d met you then.”
Maybe it was the conviction with which Theo said it, or perhaps the fact that I felt the same way, but his words echoed through me long after they ended.
I wish I’d met him then. I wish we weren’t graduating soon. I wish we’d looked up at each other behind my stupid posters in sophmore year and said our names without caring who was more important, or inventing any sort of game.
Theo leaned in and kissed me with a sigh. The sound of coming home again…
I just closed my eyes.
My whole world was him. My whole world was this crazy eighteen year old idiot, who made me fall in love with him in a bet. And his eyelashes as they brushed across my cheek, his voice as he whispered my name, his smile when I grabbed his hands.
And I loved him.
And as soon as I got over my pride finally, I was going to tell him.