Weekend means sleep to me. It means food that didn’t taste like cardboard to my friends. I go along because, well I don’t know. My house and my room seem too small today. I feel trapped inside my own body and I know exactly why. Pizza won’t fix how guilty I felt. But I’d still try.

Normally I’d just run when this feeling hit me but as if I’d angered some old God, I managed to twist my stupid ankle at the track meet yesterday.

“You’re going out?” Mom asks me as I open the front door.

I look back at her and nod.

“Yeah, we’re just going out to grab food.”

She smiles. “Good, be safe.”

“Always am… ”

As I step outside and close the door behind me, I grab my phone and text Lee that I’m on my way to his house.

Lee and James are neighbors, best friends. Best friends in middle school before they met me, but that was fine. At least we all hang out now? I don’t know. It does feel weird sometimes, like I’m impersonating someone but what else is new?

I drive to Lee’s house with the windows down, loving the wind. I’d be outside all the time if I could…

They’re already waiting for me and they quickly get in, Lee in the back and James next to me in the passenger’s seat.

“It’s Sunday and you don’t have the radio on, the hell is wrong with you?” Lee asks from the back as I nearly make it past a red light.

I shrug. “Fine, grumpy.”

Music fills the car, but I don’t really care for it. The words, lyrics or whatever, always feel like the singer is showing off. Is it strange for me to say that I hate music because it’s too beautiful? Probably.

The pizza place isn’t overly crowded tonight so that’s good. I get a parking space easily, which can’t be said very often for downtown Eugene, and Lee rolls his eyes as James and I both sit down at the corner table of the restaurant we always go to.

“I’ll get it, princesses…” he grumbles angrily, heading off to stand in line.

I try to relax back into the seat but I can’t. James is on his phone, probably playing scrabble or something dumb. Why the hell am I here? I need to stand up, get out, go somewhere. Just not be here anymore. I feel the familiar need to run, make my skin itch-

James looks up at me when he notices me tapping my fingers on the table.

“You okay?”

I shrug again, “I don’t know. Sure.”

James puts his phone down for a second and narrows his eyes at me.

“You look guilty as hell,” he says.

“I’m just tired of this place… ”

“You said pizza was fine-”

“No, this whole place. I wanna get out of here.” I tell him, looking around like I’ll be in trouble if somebody hears.

James smiles.

“What?” I frown.

“You’re eighteen. If you want to leave, fucking do it.” He grins.

“Make fun of me and see where it gets you,” I glare at him.

James shakes his head. “I know why you think you can’t escape,” he says. “But your family isn’t your life Theo.”

He’s wrong, it is.

Lee comes back with food soon but I can’t bring myself to eat. I feel sick all of a sudden…

What if I really am stuck here like I feel? What if I never do anything for me? What if I lived and died for my parents? But, no that’s wrong. James is right. I’m an adult and I can do whatever I want. In theory.

It was my choice to cheat on that test. It was probably the right choice, too. I never would have passed if I hadn’t. And college is it. It’s what I have to do. Not for me, but for my family. How I get there is up to me and I’d already acted like a complete idiot.

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Suddenly my mind went to Ravina and what she’d said…

I hate people like you.You think everything is a game.

No, I knew this wasn’t a game. Games are much more fun-

Out of nowhere, Lee hits my leg with his under the table. Hard.

“What?” I say, annoyed that he’d interrupted my brooding.

Lee’s eyes are fixed on a spot across the room, so I look.

And without thinking it through I’m getting up from the table, ignoring James’ protests….

I have no clue what I’m doing-

Ravina looks up at me and when she sees me she chokes on her drink. I feel myself starting to smile again.

“Nice to see you too,” I say.

She glares at me and looks around.

“Are you stalking me or something? I could turn you in for cheating in a second you realize!” She hisses.

I put my hands in my pockets. “Why haven’t you?”

She eyes me and suddenly I start feeling nervous…

“I was giving you a chance to do the right thing. I’m going to our teacher on Monday.” Ravina says pointedly.

I swallow. Bad.

You think everything is a game…

The idea hit me like a ton of bricks. Wow, was I insane?! Well, I mean…

“I have a better idea,” I tell her.

She blinks, “I’m listening.”

I sit down across from her, listening to my friends shouting, and I quote; “Get your ass back here!”

Ravina looks at them, and then her eyes go to me.

I seriously like the way she stares at me. Like she’s curious. As I am about her.

“I don’t like this place,” I tell her honestly. “I don’t like school and work and all this crap. It’s boring. I’d rather spend my time doing something fun.”

“Sounds like you’d hate college. Might as well just give me my spot now.” She smirks.

I smile back. She’s quick.

“That doesn’t mean I don’t know how to work. And college is something that’s really important to my family. That being said, I’m willing to give up my place to you, if you beat me in a game.”

I’m thinking this through on the spot, my heart racing wildly as I think about what the fuck I’m about to say-

“A game? Like what, tug of war? Mario kart? You’re a child.” She scoffs, taking another sip of her drink.

I shake my head. No, not that.

“Something with higher stakes,” I say.

She gestures for me to go on, as if she’s bored.

I smile at her, “Date me.”

The words are out before I can really understand what I meant by them, and now I can’t take them back.

Ravina’s eyes widen, but then she composes herself. I lean back in my chair and wait for her response.

“That’s what you call a game?” She asks.

I nod, tapping my finger on my knee…

“Normal games are boring. Love games are more fun. Go out with me like we’re a normal couple for one month. Just one, until school ends. In that time, we have to do everything we can to get the other to fall in love with us. Whoever falls first, is the loser.”

Ravina stares. Then she laughs.

“I don’t know if you’re just crazy or actually living in a dreamworld. Why the hell would I ever agree to that?”

I could probably get her to laugh more if I really tried… if she went along with this. Whatever it was-

“If you win, I’ll give you the scholarship.” I say.

If she won, it wouldn’t really matter. School would be the least of my problems.

I’d barely had time to think this all the way through, but as I think about it more, it starts to make even more sense.

I know myself, unfortunately. A month is way too short a time to “love” someone.

Even if I don’t win, I’d still win by default. She’d either fall for me or neither of us would and I’d have the scholarship either way. Plus, I’d have a whole month to figure out this crazy girl… that for me, is the real game.

Ravina just shook her head.

“I don’t play games like that. Too much to lose,” she says, putting her hands on the edge of the table, her long sleeves covering her fingers.

“Why, do you think you’ll lose?” I ask her jokingly.

Ravina wouldn’t back down even if I made her uncomfortable. I have a sense already that she will always fight back. I like that about her.

“No,” she smiles thoughtfully. “I think you would.”

I laugh. It was strange to laugh this much but she brought it out.

“You’re flirting with me,” I point out.

She raises her eyebrow cutely and shakes her head.

“On the contrary, I’m letting you down easy.”

I nod. Well, it was a long shot anyway.

“That’s okay. At least I’ll have this awkward little conversation to look back on when I’m in college,” I wink at her as I stand up.

Ravina grimaces back at me, her eyes shooting daggers.

“I hope you die painfully,” she says like she actually means it.

Unfortunately for Ravina, her voice was too delicate to be threatening.

I smile one more time at her and then go back to my own table. Lee and James are staring at me again like they did the last time I talked to Ravina…

“Alright, begin the inquisition.” I shake my head, taking a bite of cold pizza.

James just snorts, “You’re insane.”

“For talking to a girl?”

“For talking to that girl!” Lee hisses throwing his hands up.

I shrug. Do I care? No.

Are they right as shit? Probably.