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* two weeks after Sans was given the determination injection

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“All tests are looking good,” Alphys said, adjusting her glasses. “Sans seems completely stable. I think we’re ready for the next phase. Which, really, we need to discuss what we’re going to try.”

“I don’t think just wanting Sans to remember, with the determination in him, is going to cut it,” Frisk said. “I’ve reloaded a few times this week with Sans, little spot tests, and no sign of anything working. I have two ideas for approaches.”

Both Sans and Alphys nodded, listening.

“One is simple and easy, relatively speaking,” they said. “We should start with that one. What I’d tried before, just willing him to remember… well, thing is, I can’t actually keep my concentration. I have to commit to reloading, which takes focus. Except, there is a way to reload effortlessly.”

Sans sighed. Alphys looked confused.

“you want me to kill you,” Sans said, and Alphys’s eyes went wide with horror. “repeatedly, until you’re satisfied it won’t work.”

“Or until it does work,” Frisk said. “That would be better.”

“That’s… that’s torture!” Alphys squeaked. “You can’t be serious! We can’t do that, Frisk!”

“Maybe you were right,” Frisk said with a sigh, making Alphys confused again. “Maybe I should have told you.”

“Told me what?” she asked. “When? What are you talking about?”

“I broke the rules a little, when we were in the long loop,” Frisk said. “I tried not to. But I was having trouble and you noticed, Alphys. You pushed me to tell you, and well… I did.”

“Tell me what?” she asked again.

“you probably should,” Sans said. “especially if the other alphys thought you should.”

“You’ll never look at me the same way, but I guess I’ve earned that,” Frisk said, then looked at Sans. “Need any time to get things ready?”

“need? no,” he said. “but i would appreciate a little time. it’s not going to be easy to do that to a friend.”

“When, do you think?” Frisk asked. “Later today? Tomorrow?”

“let’s just get it over with,” he said. “maybe this afternoon. after lunch.”

“Wait,” Alphys said. “You’re acting like this is just okay, and like I’ll be okay with it, but Frisk, this isn’t right, we can’t do this!”

Frisk went over to Alphys and put a hand on her shoulder.

“You know I love you all, right?” Frisk asked seriously. “You know how much you mean to me. All of you.”

“Y-yes?” Alphys said, squeaking a little again.

Frisk’s eyes closed and they took a breath. They glanced over at Sans and he gave them a thumbs up.

“Then let me tell you about why Undyne has the most beautiful soul of any monster I’ve ever seen,” Frisk said solemnly. “And why I decided to destroy everything in the process of finding out.”

By that afternoon, Alphys had withdrawn her objections.

“So we’re clear on the experimental procedure, right everyone?” Alphys asked.

“Yep,” Frisk said. “I just save and then give a thumbs up if I’m ready.”

“and if i see a thumbs up, i kill frisk as quickly as i can,” Sans said. “and if i start to remember, i’ll stop and we’ll discuss.”

He had six gaster blasters lined up and pointing at Frisk, ready to fire. Alphys looked really uncomfortable, seeing them, but Frisk smiled at them affectionately.

It had been a while since they felt like they’d burned for their sins.

They reached out to the save point. They took their time, because it was a failure mode if they accidentally had a thumbs up while they saved - they’d be locked in an unbreakable death cycle and would need to reset to the beginning. Once they were absolutely sure they were no longer actively saving, they nodded at Sans and gave him a thumbs up.

Pain. Burning, searing pain rushed through their body. It lasted barely a second before they reformed. They raised their thumb again and it returned. They just held on to the idea of raising their thumb, and the pain became almost unceasing, with only a split second of relief before Sans fired.

The memories flooded them along with the pain. Nothing in their life had ever felt as right as when Sans had killed the thing they were. It had been good with Undyne, too, but with Sans… especially after they’d withdrawn and let Chara take over… it was a note of absolute perfection.

But goddamn, was it painful.

Had it really hurt this much, back then? Maybe, because it had been so long, Frisk had lost some of their “immunity” from pain. Still, it felt amazing, in its own way. Cleansing.

They looked at Sans and their vision flickered. Blinding, searing light contrasted with a split second of him with black eyes. He’d let his eyes go dark as they’d saved, as he’d braced himself for murdering a friend.

His eyes were almost the same as that awful day, a year ago. It hurt him to kill a friend like this; it hurt him to face the end of everything. It was completely different, and yet…

Burning, searing, cleansing pain.

Their mind flashed to the perfection of those deaths at his hands, on that day. Soaking in the memory, tying the current sensation into it. They needed to be able to endure this as long as they could, to give this the most chance of working.

Remember me, they thought, pleading, at the black eyes before they burned again.

Stay with me.

I don’t want to lose you.

Again and again, they fell to his power. Their mind warped and twisted under the onslaught. With no injury, no fear, nothing to ground the pain, it twisted into a strange, searing pleasure. Too much, too intense, and not exactly enjoyable, and yet… there had never been a joy as pure as seeing Sans destroy what they’d become. It hurt, and it was so, so good.

But he had hurt, too, nevermind that they’d never struck him.

I’m so sorry.

A flash of the first Sans, the one whose friendship had grown naturally. Who had asked them to stay. Whom they had erased.

I’m so sorry.

Sans, from so recently, during the long loop - who had cracked under the prospect of his own death. Who had turned away, and refused a hug. They knew the reason, of course. He’d decided to be selfish, in his last moments of a life that never existed, and a hug would have just been… too much. “Let’s just get to the point,” he’d said. He’s said it then, and in another time, a year ago.

I’m so sorry.

Tears took time to form in their eyes, and so they never cried. Alphys had cried earlier, when she found out what Frisk had done. She’d tried not to, but she had. She insisted it was partly because of how she felt for Frisk, that she felt so bad for how Frisk was dealing with so much guilt. And yet, of course, she didn’t find herself needing to object anymore to Frisk dying again and again in what she’d first called torture. Because she understood what Frisk had done. What Frisk was.

I’m so sorry.

How stupid Frisk had been, to say that just because it never happened, it didn’t matter. How much of an idiot were they? No one who knew could ever look at them the same way. They’d been wrong, that’s all there was to it. They’d never look at themself the same way. The sins may not be crawling on their back as intensely, as heavily, as the last time they had felt this, but they could never be free. Never be clean again.

I’m so sorry.

They had felt better after fixing everything, they really had. But the lingering fear hadn’t faded. In that year of determination experiments, in the crushing isolation with only Flowey who they could view as real… they had never felt so alone. And it was all their own fault.

I’m so sorry.

Over and over, they burned. Over and over, memories flashed, of all the reasons they deserved to burn. All the reasons why this was good and right and fitting. All the faces that they had seen dying. Distant as the memory was, it had been seared onto their soul, and this cleansing felt so good.

I’m so sorry.

Time passed, and an indeterminable amount of it. They slowly stopped apologizing in their head and just soaked in their appreciation for Sans, for his ability to make things right. They’d just keep doing this, and then he’d remember, and then they wouldn’t be so alone.

Slowly, they found themself relaxing under the onslaught, submitting to its intensity. Sans’ power was in them, filling them, and that was good. It almost didn’t even hurt anymore, and just felt… overwhelmingly, intensely Sans. It… was really nice, actually.

Their focus began to slip. Another timeless time later…

“uh, i can’t tell,” Sans said, peering at them. “does that count as a thumbs up?”

“Can you PLEASE warn me next time!?!?” a voice called out in intense frustration, drawing all of their attentions.

Flowey had popped up and was glaring at Frisk in anger. Oh, right, oops, they thought, giving him an abashed look.

“wait, why are you here?” Sans asked. “how are you here?”

“One second resets, lasting for hours?” Flowey demanded, ignoring Sans. “Really, Frisk? I could have been asleep, but no, I was unable to do anything for hours!”

“Wait, hours?” Alphys asked, looking at Frisk in horror.

Sans’s expression had turned resigned.

“kid, i told you not to take it too far,” he said.

“It was fine,” Frisk said. “I was fine! I am sorry, Flowey, I completely didn’t think about that and I should have.”

“There’s 3600 seconds in an hour,” Alphys said, adjusting her glasses, as Flowey grumpily muttered something. “Are you telling me that Sans just killed you several thousand times?”

“Uh… I think it might have been closer to two seconds per death?” Frisk said lamely.

“And it was several hours,” Flowey tossed in, giving Frisk another glare. “Also, no, it was definitely closer to one second.”

“Really, Flowey, I am honestly sorry,” Frisk said. “I’ll warn you if I’m ever doing high speed loops like that again.”

“i’m not sure we should ever do ‘high speed loops’ like that again,” Sans tossed in.

“It was fine, honest!” Frisk said. “And we’ll just warn Flowey, let him go to sleep or something, and no one will have any problems.”

“But Frisk…” Alphys said. “You were… you just died thousands of times…”

“Well, I mean, yeah,” Frisk said with a shrug. “But after a while, it mostly felt like just sitting in Sans’ magic with a little flicker of sight every second or so. Like, one extended experience of dying, and not lots of little ones.”

Sans sighed again and Alphys looked horrified. Flowey laughed.

“Maybe, instead, next time you should bring me in on this,” Flowey said with a grin.

Sans gave him a look and Flowey disappeared, popping back up on the opposite side of Frisk.

“I’m just saying it sounds interesting,” Flowey said. “And if you’re doing experiments with time loops, I am an obvious person to bring in.”

Frisk gave him a complicated look.

“We’re trying to get Sans to remember the resets,” they said.

Alphys and Sans exchanged a look.

“Really? Him?” Flowey asked with a disgusted tone. “Why not Alphys? Or Papyrus? Or literally anyone else?”

Frisk grinned at him.

“Still interested in helping?” they asked teasingly.

“Maybe,” Flowey said begrudgingly, giving Sans another dark look.

One of the gaster blasters turned a little to point at Flowey, and he popped away again. Sans started laughing. After a second, Frisk joined in and Flowey complained from across the room.

“We don’t have to torment him, Sans,” Frisk said with a grin.

“what’s really weird to me is that you seem better off than before we began,” Sans said, ignoring their comment as he watched Flowey.

Frisk shrugged.

“It was nice,” they said, setting Alphys to spluttering again. “It’s been a long time since you’ve killed me, and while the circumstances surrounding those deaths were bad, the memories of you killing me are still… good.”

“Is that why I could never defeat you?” Flowey asked acerbically. “You enjoy the feeling of being killed?”

“No,” Frisk said with another laugh. “Death at your hands - or vines, or whatever - really sucked. But you remember what I’d become, in that timeline.”

“...yeah,” Flowey said, sounding a little subdued. “I never asked, but…”

He trailed off.

“Chara was going to kill you,” Frisk said. “I can’t imagine anyone they’d have spared, with what I saw of their broken mind. From some information we’ve gained about timelines, we’re pretty sure that Chara was going to destroy time itself, was going to destroy the very world.”

“But killing Sans was too much,” Flowey said, giving Sans an appraising look.

“Not exactly,” Frisk said, giving Sans a far more complicated look. “Falling in love with Sans made me refuse to land the killing blow, despite Chara’s efforts.”

Flowey muttered some more under his breath.

“frisk…” Sans started to say, then sighed. “nevermind. it seems like this approach failed. you said you had another idea. should we get him out of here, or are you thinking it’d be better to bring him in?”

“I’m already used to people not remembering,” Flowey said. “It’d be more interesting if some did. I’d rather it not be you, but maybe once you all figure it out, we can get some others in.”

“Probably doesn’t hurt to see what Flowey thinks,” Frisk said and Sans shrugged.

Alphys still looked like she was in shock over the whole thousands of deaths thing. Flowey looked at Frisk curiously.

“So, we know that there was a connection between you and Chara,” Frisk said. “I think the reason we remember each other’s resets might be because of that.”

“Not because we were each independently able to use that power?” Flowey asked.

“If it’s that, then it’s hopeless,” Frisk said. “Monsters can’t hold that much determination without melting. So we have to assume it’s not that. But we know determination isn’t enough - you watched the Undyne fight, right?”

“I watched all of them,” Flowey said with a grin. “A shame I don’t have memories of your first fights against her, but at least I remember everything you said about those.”

Alphys looked deeply uncomfortable.

“And she didn’t remember,” Frisk said. “Or the amalgamates, but Undyne - hers was pretty damned intense, you know?”

“It was,” Flowey mused. “That first time, surprisingly so - her screaming ‘I won’t die’ as she melted and scattered was really something. She did that every time I killed her. She did that with you, too, right?”

Alphys let out a strangled sound. Sans put a hand on her shoulder comfortingly.

“Yeah. But really, it was the other deaths, with the transformation due to her determination… surely, if any amount of determination would do it, that would have had to,” Frisk said and Flowey nodded.

“It was incredible to see. A shame I never managed that myself,” Flowey remarked. “Sans would always kill me long before I could provoke her that much.”

“it’s a shame i don’t have any memories of doing so,” Sans said darkly. “maybe we can make up for it by giving frisk a few memories of watching.”

Flowey popped away and appeared by Frisk again, who started laughing then coughed and stopped themself once they saw the look on Alphys’s face.

“Sorry, guys,” they said. “Talking to Flowey is… uh. I often find myself acting like he’s the only one around.”

“I-I guess that makes sense, but, but you could not talk about… that?” Alphys said.

“Right, sorry,” Frisk said, looking honestly apologetic, then turned back to Flowey. “So, anyway. One of the things between you and Chara was the soul absorption bit. I was wondering if maybe we could try to get Sans to absorb my soul, to see if that would make a connection between us.”

“That might work, but there’s one major problem,” Flowey said. “The reset happens too fast. There’s no way he could grab your soul in time.”

“What if I tried to… uh… focus on delaying the reset?” Frisk asked. “I know there’s a little bit of wiggle room in how the power manifests.”

“It might be possible,” Flowey said. “I’ve never had reason to try. But I think you would need my help if there’s any chance at all.”

“why’s that?” Sans asked.

“Because Frisk won’t remember what happened after they died,” Flowey told him. “You won’t have any way of knowing if the basis of the experiment worked at all - if you ever even touched their soul. But if I watch, I can tell you.”

They all nodded at that, though Sans and Alphys looked begrudging.

“There’s a-another possible problem,” Alphys said uneasily. “Um, what if… what if absorbing Frisk’s soul stops the resets completely?”

“And I’m just permanently dead?” Frisk asked, and Alphys nodded. “That’s a risk I’m willing to take, but… but then I think the power would go to Flowey.”

They all looked at Flowey.

“that sounds incredibly risky,” Sans said.

“From what Frisk has described, it seems to me that Flowey potentially would be locked into the moment he regained the powers as the furthest back in time he could go,” Alphys said. “That would make Frisk permanently, irreversibly dead.”

“There’s another possibility,” Flowey said. “When I had all of the human souls, I took over Frisk’s power and could even access their save file. With a few more human souls, I could be sure that it'd work. I'd take Frisk’s soul from Sans and should be able to restore the save, bringing them back.”

“why would we trust you to do that?” Sans asked.

Flowey just looked at Frisk.

“I… have reason to believe that Flowey is strongly opposed to my true death,” Frisk said.

“you trust him?” Sans asked.

“I trust Asriel,” Frisk said softly and Flowey looked away. “I trust in his goodness, his kindness, his heart. In the friendship we had, echoed across lives. But I don’t know how much of Asriel remains.”

“Well, that’s a nice comment, because it brings me to another point I’ve been meaning to bring up,” Flowey said. “Payment.”

“Payment?” Alphys asked.

“For my help with figuring this out,” Flowey said. “In one of the timelines, all of the human souls were lost, and Alphys, you had begun to do research on creating artificial souls. I want to feel again. I know you’re busy with this, but when you’re done, that’s what I want.”

Frisk gave him a tender smile.

“Funny you should ask for that,” they said. “For payment for helping figure things out, and not a word about how it was you who broke the barrier. You, who actually saved everyone.”

Alphys looked shocked - Frisk hadn’t mentioned that detail.

“You know why I did that,” Flowey said, looking away again.

“Yeah,” they said, closing their eyes. “Yeah, I do.”

“if we’re talking about getting human souls for power, i can’t help but wonder why one of those wouldn’t work for this, too,” Sans noted. “if it’s ‘asriel’ we’re dealing with instead of flowey, that’d make me a hell of a lot more comfortable. other than the issue of too much power.”

Ensure your favorite authors get the support they deserve. Read this novel on the original website.

“It didn’t work,” Flowey said bluntly. “I felt the souls, but it didn’t make me feel.”

“You probably need a monster soul, not a human soul,” Frisk said.

Flowey agreed, then added, “So is this a deal?”

“How would we get the human souls?” Alphys asked. “E-e-ethically, I mean?”

“Sans can teleport,” Frisk said. “And there’s a lot of assholes out there. This doesn’t seem like the hardest problem to solve.”

“Should we grab six, just in case?” Flowey asked.

“Wait, wait, are you talking about finding six evil people and murdering them for their souls?” Alphys asked, sounding horrified.

“It wouldn’t rank on my top ten list of worst things I’ve done,” Frisk said dryly. “Or Flowey’s.”

“Don’t drag me into this,” Flowey said haughtily. “Also, true.”

“it’d be on my list, i think,” Sans said dryly, and Alphys gave him another shocked look.

“She’s so innocent, it’s adorable,” Flowey said with a cackle.

Frisk grinned and Sans sighed.

“W-wouldn’t it be better to just take some souls from people who d-died of natural causes?” Alphys asked. “Instead of m-murdering anyone?”

“two interesting and unrelated facts,” Sans said with a dark grin. “didja know that some people still practice slavery and such in the world? and also, didja know it’s really quite natural to die from stab wounds?”

Flowey and Frisk both howled with laughter at that and Alphys gave Sans a betrayed look.

“lighten up, i’m just joking around,” Sans said. “we’re not gonna kill anyone. too likely for there to be trouble if we do.”

Frisk snickered at that. Alphys just looked lost. Frisk went over to her and took her hand. She was uneasy at first, but then sighed and squeezed Frisk’s hand back.

“So that’s the plan?” Frisk asked. “We get the soul containers - I’m pretty sure they were just left in the underground, and should be in the old barrier room. We get a few souls and reconvene here. We hang onto them as a backup method. We try to get Sans to absorb my soul, see if that forges a strong enough bond between us for him to remember. And when we’re done with the reset memory experiments, then we can start working on an artificial soul for Flowey.”

“it looks like the best option,” Sans said. “i’ll get the souls. don’t worry, alphys, i’ll make sure it’s all ethically sourced. we’re vegan mad scientists here.”

He grinned at Flowey.

“only plant deaths are acceptable,” he finished.

Flowey gave him a murderous glare and Frisk started giggling. They tried to stop, but just couldn’t, and giggled out apologies to Flowey.

“Sorry, Flowey, but it’s really funny,” Frisk said. “You know he’s not going to kill you, though, right?”

Neither Flowey nor Sans commented, just giving each other dark looks. They both knew exactly what circumstances would drive Sans to kill Flowey.

As long as Flowey toed the line, he’d be fine. And Sans knew damn well that the only reason Flowey hadn’t started backsliding into evil crap was out of a twisted fondness for Frisk / Chara. Yes, when Flowey had regained himself and become Asriel, he’d been nice. But Asriel was gone, and Flowey was a soulless husk only kept on the straight and narrow by sentimental attachment to feelings that he couldn’t even experience anymore.

And if a little fear would help, Sans was happy to oblige.

The real reason Sans wasn’t going to get evil souls, though, was because he didn’t want any of that nonsense to infect Flowey, if they did end up needing the souls. Nice, sweet, pure souls, full of love and compassion - that’s what Sans was going to be trying to grab. It didn’t hurt them any to be pulled away after death, and they’d be let go once the experiments were done.

Before they left, Flowey had one parting thing to add.

“You know, it occurs to me,” Flowey said slyly, giving Sans an amused look that almost made him reflexively summon a bone. “Frisk, do you happen to remember what I’d said, about how I’d first discovered my power?”

“Yes,” Frisk said guardedly.

“And didn’t you happen to discover your power in exactly the same way?” Flowey prompted.

“...yes,” Frisk admitted, their face tight and annoyed.

“What are you talking about?” Alphys asked.

“Do you want to tell them?” Flowey asked with a ridiculously saccharine tone that made Sans’ teeth grind.

“i already know,” Sans said. “frisk mentioned your little failed suicide attempt.”

“Wait, what?” Alphys asked.

Flowey laughed.

“Really, Frisk, can you say you’ve tried everything when you haven’t even killed Sans even once?” Flowey prodded with wide, innocent eyes. “That sounds SO much safer than this business of him absorbing your soul. So much less risky.”

“I will never kill Sans,” Frisk said, glaring at Flowey darkly.

“Well, don’t forget,” Flowey said with unnaturally bright eyes. “I’m here to help!”

Flowey grinned at Sans in a way that Sans had to actually put forth effort not to summon a blaster and shred him.

“i’m not going to let you kill me,” Sans said.

“Aww, Frisk, look how he really feels,” Flowey said, his tone exaggeratedly sympathetic. “He’s happy to have you die thousands of times, painfully, and to set things up to do it again, risking the end of the world if things don’t quite go the way we expect. He’d rather have me gain seven human souls again, one of them being yours that he’d just hand over, rather than dying even once.”

“Flowey, you’re being an asshole,” Frisk said bluntly.

Flowey huffed a bit at that.

“You know I’m right,” Flowey said, dropping the saccharine schtick.

Frisk closed their eyes.

“I think Sans would really object to you killing him,” Frisk said. “If he decided to take that course, I would do it.”

“I thought you just said you never would,” Flowey said, a little of the teasing sound back in his voice.

“I never would,” Frisk said. “Never by my own choice. But by his order, I will do anything.”

“frisk’s mental health is kind of important for the world’s continued existence,” Sans pointed out. “i would have legitimate concerns in that case.”

“You sure that’s the real reason, Sansy?” Flowey asked, another creepy grin appearing.

“maybe this whole plan isn’t working,” Sans said, looking over at Frisk. “can we really trust him with the souls?”

“Flowey just likes to get reactions from people,” Frisk said, making Flowey huff again. “And he especially loves new reactions. He’s never seen you die, never seen you faced with the real prospect of death.”

“That’s not true,” Flowey said. “And when Sansy melted during the determination experiments, I did pop by out of an innocent desire to support my best friend.”

Frisk’s fists clenched.

“I reloaded as soon as he started having trouble,” Frisk said.

“Yes, you did,” Flowey agreed. “Before we learned… er, before you learned anything from the results of that. Not really good science, is it, to turn away before you learn everything?”

That was it, Sans went ahead and summoned a bone and a blaster, just in case. Flowey popped to Frisk’s other side.

“I will totally let him kill you and then reload,” Frisk said. “Just saying. Quit being an asshole.”

Flowey huffed again.

“There’s no need for that,” Flowey said with a glare at Sans, and Sans grinned darkly. Flowey continued in an arrogantly precise tone. “I’m simply pointing out that you have missed a type of trial that should be completely safe, has no chance of anything going wrong, and is based on historical data as being a critical component to this power.”

Frisk looked away and Flowey looked smug.

“frisk and i will discuss it some other time,” Sans said. “let’s shelve all this for now. we’ve got phones, we’ll figure things out later. frisk, come with me.”

With that, he started to leave, to another annoyed huff from Flowey and a bewildered spluttering from Alphys. Frisk followed in his wake.

“I’m sorry, Sans,” Frisk said.

“tell me,” Sans said. “had the idea of me dying occurred to you?”

“No,” Frisk said, shaking their head. “I can’t even… I can’t even touch the thought. It’s like a branding iron in my head.”

“let’s go someplace,” Sans said.

Where could they talk? Papyrus was home… but Toriel would be at school.

“your place,” he said, and they nodded.

With a flicker of black, they were in Frisk’s room. They sat on the bed and he took their very comfortable, extremely ergonomic desk chair that Toriel had gotten for them.

“i hate the fact that he has a point,” Sans said. “and while i don’t want to die, i have to admit, i like the idea of him having six or seven human souls even less.”

“I really don’t want to kill you,” Frisk said.

“i don’t want you to kill me, either,” Sans grumbled. “i really don’t like this idea. but… the fact is, it makes sense. it does seem safer than the other idea. and it seems hypocritical for me to refuse.”

“It isn’t hypocritical,” Frisk said, giving him a complex look of pain and worry. “You’ve never died before, it really sucks, it’s terrifying, especially the first time! And every time would be the first time, for you, and I’d… I’d have to see it…”

“look, if it’d make you go nuts, then it’s not a good idea,” Sans said.

“If it’s needed, whatever you need, anything you need, I’ll do it,” Frisk said, determination blazing again. “And I will be fine, because you need me to be fine.”

“i don’t think that’s how mental health works,” Sans grumbled.

“It’s how my mental health works,” Frisk said in a dark tone, as though daring their mind to work any differently.

Sans couldn’t help but chuckle.

“But also, also, maybe it’s not a good idea at all,” Frisk said suddenly, their eyes lighting up. “Undyne had determination, and she died, and didn’t remember anything!”

“that’s true,” Sans said. “but i’d also killed you a bunch and didn’t remember anything, and we tried that, too. we’re kind of trying literally everything, here.”

“Are you… trying to talk me into this?” they asked nervously.

“i don’t even know,” Sans admitted with a sigh.

“Because you don’t have to,” Frisk said, looking away. “Anything, Sans. I mean it. Anything. You give the word, and it’ll happen, no matter how I feel about it.”

They paused.

“And I’ll text Flowey about it,” they said. “And I’ll tell him that I’m going to count how many times he brings up the fact that I killed you, and for each and every time, I’m going to ask you to kill him. If he tries to make me suffer with the knowledge, I’ll make him suffer. Well, you will, but you’re better at killing things than I am.”

Sans grinned.

“I’m pretty sure you’d be okay with that?” Frisk asked and he laughed.

“if you ever think it’s a good idea to kill flowey, you can always just assume i’m available,” Sans said darkly. “no need to ask.”

“Not permanently, though,” Frisk said.

“yeah, yeah,” Sans agreed. “i know. asriel did right by everyone.”

“Hopefully, we get him back one day,” Frisk said.

“yeah,” Sans said. “so. what do you think? do we do this?”

“With the precedent of Undyne remembering nothing, I think we can say no guilt-free,” Frisk said.

“but, as much as i hate the idea for many reasons, it still seems better than the idea of giving flowey the souls,” Sans said.

“Honestly, Sans, I’m the only one who remembers the resets,” Frisk said. “You have no idea how important that is. Flowey won’t want me to die. I’m the only point of stability in his entire existence, and he knows what it’s like to not have that. I honestly believe he is more committed to my survival than anyone else. You included.”

“i guess,” Sans said. “so i guess the next question is, what would we regret more?”

Frisk looked away, pained.

“doing this would be harder on you than on me,” Sans said. “much harder. during that timeline, the other sans would have a bad time. but from my perspective, you’d touch the save point and then tell me how it went, and i’d have nothing to deal with at all.”

“Unless you remember,” Frisk said, still looking away.

“in which case, we’d be glad we did it,” Sans said. “both of us.”

“That’s… that’s true,” Frisk said, still unable to look at him.

“you touching a save point and then crying onto my shoulder for a few minutes is an easy price to pay for a trial,” Sans said. “for me, anyway. but this would be really hard on you. so that’s what we need to figure out, i think.”

Frisk took a shaking breath.

“Anything you want, Sans,” they said, still looking away. “Anything. Just… you just have to tell me, and I’ll do anything.”

He got out of the chair and sat next to them on the bed, then flicked them on the back of the head. They turned to look at him, a wry smile on their face and tears in their eyes.

“i won’t make you do this,” he said.

“If you don’t, then I can’t,” Frisk said simply.

He sighed.

“i really don’t want to die,” he admitted. “and the sans in that timeline would, uh, have problems with this. but he’d do it. i’d do it.”

He reached an arm over and pulled Frisk into a side hug.

“i trust you, kid,” Sans said and they whimpered.

“Are we doing this, then?” Frisk asked, agony in their voice.

“i think we should,” he said. “but that’s just my half. knowing that, what do you choose?”

“Sans,” they said with a small smile and a forced, teasing tone. “Maybe one day it’ll get through your thick skull how this works. What you choose is what I choose.”

“heh,” he said, flashing them a little smile. “guess i asked the wrong question. i care more about your head not getting screwed up than i do about trying this. knowing that, what do you choose?”

“One day, you’ll get it,” they said with a sad smile. “It would tear me apart to pull you from a path that you chose, Sans. For your path to be deflected by me, due to my weakness. I am yours. If you think this is the path you want to take, then I am committed to seeing it through.”

He sighed. He felt torn. On one hand, he really, really wanted to remember the resets. It bothered him so much, knowing that at any point he could exist in a doomed timeline. How many Sans-es had had to die already, had faced death, every single time Frisk had reloaded? It didn’t feel like that so much when it was a little thing, a few minutes, but even the idea of it, especially what had happened to the Sans-es in the longer timelines… he hated that.

On the other hand, he was talking about making another version of himself submit to literally being murdered, which seemed like a dick move. And making his already insane friend be the one that killed him. But he didn’t think he could actually kill himself. He really, really didn’t want to die.

And yet, scary as that was, giving Flowey the souls seemed worse. It just made sense to try this first.

“alright, then,” he said. “we’ll do this once. just once. no repeated trials. do you really think you’ll be okay?”

“If it never happened, it doesn’t matter, right?” Frisk asked hoarsely.

“just think of it as being like all the times you died,” Sans said. “and really, is it that much worse than reloading? any sans in any of those timelines stops existing, which is basically death, anyway.”

They whimpered again.

“if we don’t do it, we’ll be left wondering,” Sans said. “maybe we should just do it and get it over with.”

“Okay,” Frisk said, pressing their face into his jacket. “When?”

Frisk probably would have trouble with too much time to think.

“maybe right now,” Sans said.

They trembled.

“Okay,” they said. “How… how do you want to do this? I don’t want you to suffer.”

“you still have chara’s knife, right?” Sans asked and they nodded. “anything you think i need to know? things i should do or think about?”

They were shaking a little.

“You have to not want to die,” they said, their voice barely audible from how rough it was. “You have to try to not die, to resist it with everything you have, to refuse to let yourself be taken into the void. To cling to your own existence, to your own reality.”

“you do that every time?” he asked.

“Sort of,” they said. “It’s more that that way of thinking is sort of baked into my soul. But between that, and what Flowey said, it seems a critical part of it all.”

“i understand,” he said.

“I… Sans, I’m not going to be able to muster up much of an intent to kill,” they said. “I will try, for your sake, but… but I don’t want you to suffer.”

“i, er,” he said awkwardly. “i kind of maybe had some experiences that resulted in me being a bit more magic than monsters generally are. bright side, i can give murderous loopers a bad time. down side - but kind of bright, in this case - i’m a bit too magic. it won’t take much to… uh.”

He found that he couldn’t quite finish his sentence.

“Okay,” Frisk said, looking down. “So… if I can muster any intent… do you think I could kill you in a single strike, or will it take…”

They choked and took a moment to keep breathing.

“with any real intent, even bare handed, you could kill me in a single strike,” he admitted. “with a knife stabbing into me? there’s no question.”

He grinned at them and winked, adding, “easiest guy to kill you ever met.”

Frisk tried to halfheartedly punch him, but barely managed to move his jacket.

“So… so I should get the knife right now,” they said in a leaden voice.

“i’d get it for you, but i don’t know where it is,” Sans said.

They laughed weakly at that and stood up. They reached under the bed and pulled out an engraved box, with flowers and hearts on it, and a few other evocative images. They opened it and there was the knife, right by a spot clearly carved out for their locket.

“Would it be bad of me to ask Chara for help?” they asked, staring at the knife.

“uh,” Sans said. “i… have no idea. if you need to.”

“I’ll try to do it on my own,” they said, starting to pick up the knife, then putting it back down. “Wait. Let me text Flowey. I’m pretty sure, after the conversation we just had, he’ll immediately guess what the reset was about. And knowing him, he’d want to ‘congratulate’ me, so I’d like to nip that in the bud immediately.”

Sans laughed at their pun and they smiled weakly at him. They grabbed their phone and shot off the text. They closed their eyes, steadying themself, and then their phone buzzed and they checked it. They sighed heavily.

“what?” he asked.

“He immediately congratulated me and promised to never harass me about this, but also said that he’s always here to support me and hear all the juicy details of anything I need to get off my chest,” they said dryly.

“i’m glad you have such supportive friends,” Sans said with a laugh.

“Well, you know Flowey,” they said lightly. “He’s always there for me. Always. No matter what.”

The phone buzzed again and they checked it and rolled their eyes with an odd expression - somehow almost loving, affectionate, annoyed, exasperated, and deeply amused, all at once.

“what’d he say?” Sans asked.

“He’s offered to be here for me in my time of need,” they said dryly. “Making sure I know I don’t have to be alone, and that I can always rely on my best friend to be right there beside me. Physically and immediately, if possible.”

They started typing and Sans couldn’t help but laugh.

“if you ever do have me kill him, i would love to know all the details,” he said.

“Absolutely,” they said. “In the meantime, I’m informing him that he is, once again, being an asshole.”

They smiled wryly at the phone and then set it aside.

He reached out and pulled Frisk down beside him again.

“you can save here, right?” he asked.

“Yeah,” they said. “You’re sure, Sans?”

“i think it might be for the best,” he said.

“You can change your mind,” they said. “If you find yourself as the Sans in that timeline, you can just change your mind. Just tell me.”

“i can do this,” he said.

“O-okay,” they said and reached out beside the bed.

The golden glow came… and their expression was unchanged.

“This is the first loop,” they said. “The one in which you have agreed to die.”

“wait, what?” he asked and then groaned. “damn it. i’ve never actually experienced this part before.”

Not that he didn’t know it was possible - he’d normally be mentally prepared to be in any of the timelines, any of the loops. In this particular case, though, he was really wanting to just exist in the easy version.

“And unless you change your mind… or you remember… you still won’t,” they said, their voice wavering. “So, Sans. What… what do you want to do?”

Oh, this was different. It felt vastly different. Doubts and uncertainties ran through his mind. It was one thing to commit to seeing Frisk save and then cry on his shoulder. It was another entirely to be… in this situation.

And either he gave up - in which case, he’d remember that he couldn’t actually do what he constantly asked Frisk to do. Or, he went along with this and died. Not just the painless end of a reload, either. He was either a hypocrite and a failure or he was dead.

He met their trembling gaze. The fear he felt was real, and the pain in their eyes seemed just as intense.

But for all his faults, there was one thing he considered a core part of himself, and he clung to it now. When he made a commitment - a promise or otherwise - he followed through.

“i can handle this,” he said.

He wasn’t actually all that certain he could, but he knew how many times the kid had died. And he did really want to remember. And if it worked, if he did remember, then he’d just have a memory of a few unpleasant minutes. Which meant he wouldn’t actually die. And either way, he’d be around tomorrow. Some way or another.

Frisk stood up and gripped the knife tightly, pointing it at him. He felt a surge of primal fear fill him at the idea of just letting himself be stabbed to death. He tried to push it away. It was all he could do not to teleport out of the room.

But he trusted Frisk.

They trembled as they looked at him and he braced himself.

“I… I…” they said, and tears started to fall. “Sans, I…”

“i know,” he said. “uh. maybe this is a better idea. c’mere.”

He pulled them down to the bed and into a hug. They shook harder.

“maybe like this,” he said. “i’ll hold you, and you… do it.”

“O-okay,” they said. “You’re… you’re really sure, Sans? You really…”

He sighed again. He knew what would help.

“frisk,” he said, his tone a little more serious. This was hard for him, but soon it wouldn’t matter. “i’m calling it in. the debt you owe me. i am giving you an order and i expect you to obey. do it.”

Their trembling eased and he felt a sharp pain in his chest, piercing him far more deeply than he’d expected. But then, he’d never been stabbed to death before.

It was a clean strike, and more edged with intent to kill than he’d expected. Giving the order must have really helped. They’d cut straight through his t-shirt and his sternum to where his heart would have been, had he been human.

“g-good job, kid,” he said tightly.

“Why… why are you bleeding?” they asked.

He laughed a little and then winced.

“all those stories were right,” he said. “it hurts to laugh.”

“J-just hang on, Sans,” they said, sounding like it was them who was dying. “T-try to l-live. As… as soon as you’re d-dust, I’ll… I’ll reload and this will have never happened.”

“thank you, frisk,” he said, trying to make all this a little bit better than it could have been. Keep them more sane. “thank you for being willing to do whatever it takes for my sake.”

He felt it. His body was destabilizing, pulling into pieces. He felt a strange burning in his bones that fought it, that tried to hold him together. He focused on that feeling, trying to make it stronger.

“Always,” they whispered.

“hugging a friend is a good way to go,” he said, and they pressed into his chest. It hurt, but it was still better than feeling alone. “it’s okay. i’ll be okay, frisk.”

The burning wasn’t strong enough. He felt himself starting to scatter. The fear filled him and he felt himself fall to it. It wasn’t going to work. He was just going to die, and the other Sans would have no idea. He hugged Frisk tighter as the fear consumed him, as the magic holding him together failed.

Then there was nothing.

—

“You can change your mind,” they said. “If you find yourself as the Sans in that timeline, you can just change your mind. Just tell me.”

“i can do this,” he said.

“O-okay,” they said and reached out beside the bed.

The golden glow came. Their face wrenched and they immediately started crying. He pulled them into a hug.

“it’s okay, frisk,” he said.

“You don’t remember, do you?” they asked hollowly.

“no, but hey, like i said, this part was easy for me,” he said with a laugh. “all i had to do is see you save and then give you a hug. easy peasy.”

They laughed a little at that, the sound broken and hollow. It took a while before he felt like they could handle letting go from the hug, but they seemed to be alright. It was a shame it hadn’t worked, though.

That meant they were on for the other plan.