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“You were married?!” I accosted Vernie as soon as I stormed out of the tent, my forceful footsteps echoing. It was evening now, but small campfires lit up the area, casting dancing shadows across the slightly stunned and guilty faces of the whole party standing there. Caught you trying to eavesdrop, you gossipmongers!
Vernie laughed nervously, her eyes darting this way and that before she threw up her arms in a dramatic shrug. “Well… we all make mistakes once in a while, right?”
I pouted, folding my arms across my chest. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Cause then I got divorced... so it’s like it didn’t even happen.”
My pout deepened into a scowl of irritation. “What did he do to you?” How far to Red Mountain? Is it on the way? I’ll add him to my quest list! Vernie made a funny face, her lips twitching slightly. “What makes you think he did something wrong?”
“Obviously, he screwed up if—” Vernie’s cackles overpowered my words.
“Rae-Rae, I was the one who couldn’t commit! I was looking for something back then, but it turned out marriage wasn’t it. We’re still friends, though, and I might even forgive him someday for ratting us out to the authorities.” Her eyes flicked nervously toward Relias, but his expression seemed inscrutable to me.
“Oh...” Realizing I might be putting her on the spot in front of the others, I awkwardly tried to change topics. “Uh… Look at that... I missed sunset...”
The others shuffled their feet, obviously wanting to avoid getting involved. Even the laboring trio tasked with keeping the others from disturbing us looked around desperately for a diversion. Nora just snickered, pretending to eat from an imaginary bag of popcorn. Glad I could put on a show for you again!
Relias, however, held up a hand, signaling for my attention. “Captain Corwin would like to speak with us. Might I escort you to his quarters?”
“Of course,” I replied, silently thankful for the save. He gestured towards the path before seamlessly falling in step beside me.
“How are you holding up with everything?” he asked after we walked for a minute in silence as if waiting for the right moment to broach a sensitive subject.
“I’m fine,” I answered, focusing on the dirt path ahead. How do I begin to talk about him like Nora said I should?
“You’ve been crying,” he pointed out gently. “The deep shadows under your eyes also concern me. I cannot imagine you’ve been able to sleep soundly with all that solidified animus trapped within your energy centers.”
“Solidified animus trapped within my energy centers?” That sounded familiar... When I turned my gaze towards him, though, I was momentarily captivated by the enchanting glow of his hair. The small flames flickering from the shadows had turned it into a shimmering cascade of blonde radiance in the dusklight. What kind of conditioner was he using to produce such a sparkling effect?
“...but I’m confident that with sufficient treatment sessions, we can enhance their flow and further unlock your abilities!” He must have been answering my question, but I was too distracted to catch the beginning of his enthusiastic explanation.
Replaying his last phrase in my head, I halted, his words snapping me back to reality. “Treatment sessions?” No. No! I’m just a little emotional! I’m not sick or injured!
“Yes! Although I am thoroughly impressed by your current capabilities, they are modest compared to what you could achieve if we succeed in purging your centers!”
“Aleph’s already helping me with meditation,” I replied sullenly, uncomfortable with the idea that I needed additional help. “I just… need to do it more.”
“Raely—I mean… Rae. Do you believe… that you deserve to suffer?”
Unprepared for such a question, I felt my mind go blank as if I had taken a direct hit. “I…”
Relias sighed. “For a long time, I believed that I deserved to suffer. That I deserved what happened to me.” He briefly glanced at his palms before clenching his fingers into two trembling fists. “I thought that only through suffering could I make amends for my mistakes. However, my self-imposed imprisonment has only caused more chaos in this world, intensifying the suffering of those who are less fortunate than me.”
“But you…” Didn’t do anything wrong…
His eyes met mine. “Will you follow the same path I did? To suffer and stagnate? Or will you accept that sometimes we need help from others to become the best version of ourselves?”
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Wringing my hands together fretfully, I broke away from his gaze.
“I won’t pressure you,” he continued with the tiniest of exhales. “One must be willing to engage in such an endeavor collaboratively to be successful. However, if you find yourself of a mind to try in earnest, I am here for you.”
“I’ll remember your offer…” I promised, hoping he’d drop the subject…
“About Lady Nora…”
…but not for a heavier one! “Yes?”
“She was truly concerned about your well-being,” he advised. “I am not certain she was of a mind to convey her true sentiments to you, however. Should she be the reason for your recent tears, I firmly believe such was not her true intention.”
For some reason, I thought he would say something disparaging about dark mages. I mean, they didn’t have an excellent track record, especially with him. However, I should have realized he had better insight than that.
“Oh, no, she didn’t make me cry. I just wasn’t being exactly forthright with her…”
“So… you two have successfully reconciled your differences?”
“Yep, we’re all good now.”
He flashed a smile. “Seeing her nose wrinkle when she becomes perturbed is amusing.” His eyes widened slightly as his brow furrowed, giving him a somewhat nervous cast. “Ah, I would greatly appreciate your refraining from sharing my observation with her. I do not wish to be a target of her definitive retribution.”
With a snicker, I agreed to keep his confession a secret.
The decorative tassels on the large tent that started to loom in front of us screamed 'administration' even louder than the two well-armed sentries standing guard in front of it. Come on, Rachel. Do what you have to do now. Speak up for safety!
After nervously wiping the sweat from my hands, I grabbed his, pulling him back out of earshot from the guards. “Before we go in and talk with the Captain, there’s something I should tell you.”
Both of his hands now also held mine gently, the sensation startling but not exactly unpleasant. More than anything, I noticed how warm it was compared to my own. A warmth I wasn’t sure I deserved but took a bit of solace in. “Please, Rae. Give the Captain a chance. I promise you can put your trust in him. I have known his family for generations, and—”
“No…” I shook my head, reticent to let him go. “I know… he did what was required of him today, even if we all had hoped it would turn out otherwise.” I clutched his hands anxiously. “No, this isn’t about him, but it might change his plans— and ours. I think he knows I’m here; Ole—uh—” I dropped his hands and covered my mouth in shock. I almost said his true name!
In an instant, all traces of humanity vanished from Relias’s face as if it had been a mask that I just forcefully tore away. His features contorted into an expression so primal, so utterly consumed by fury, that it bordered on the bestial. Well… at least he knew who I meant…
“I’m sorry,” I found myself saying. “I didn’t mean for it to happen!”
“What?” He blinked, resetting his visage. “I’m not blaming you… There’s no need to apologize. But why did the others not tell me this sooner?” His question hung in the air, suspended by his evident vexation.
I stared at the ground for a bit, scuffing at the dirt. “Because I didn’t tell them,” I finally admitted before glancing at him guiltily.
A look of surprise flickered across his face. “Am… I truly the first to be informed?”
“I just told Nora, but she said I should share these little details…” It was a weak attempt to diffuse the situation, I know.
“We shall take turns. You can’t be left alone, not even for a moment!” Relias declared sternly.
Feeling the little freedom I had slipping through my fingers, I balked, “Wait a minute! It’s not… like he knows my exact location…”
“Rae. Any misstep could have dire consequences. His informants and assassins could be lurking anywhere!”
Assassins… I don’t know why it never occurred to me that he could simply order one of his long-distance minions to kill me. Maybe his past hands-on approach had kept me from considering it a possible risk. It just… wasn’t his style. Then again, our last encounter made him seem completely unhinged instead of his usual cunning self… Does he know how weak I am? Amos might even be able to take me out and get some respect back in the process.
I sighed, knowing I had to admit I needed help to protect myself and those I cared about. “Ah… about those treatment sessions…”
“We shall commence immediately,” Relias confirmed, pulling me down a different path after taking my left hand in his to stop me from nervously digging at my wrists.
“Uh, what about Captain Corwin?” We’ve been ignoring him for hours now. I couldn’t imagine him being a gracious host much longer after the day he had.
Relias frowned. “He does not require my services, so I see no reason for him to join us.”
“I mean, aren’t we supposed to meet with him now?”
A look of consternation crossed his face. “Oh, right...” he murmured, realization slowly dawning in his eyes. “It seems I had momentarily forgotten that minor detail. Then there’s that, as well…” he mumbled, staring at the ground.
“You’ve had a long day too, huh?” I sympathized with a sad smile. “Don’t worry, I’ll be on my best behavior with the Captain. Just signal me if I start to mess up, okay?”
Relias lifted his head. “Mess up?”
“He doesn’t know I’m just Rachel, right? So if I don’t act the part, I could jeopardize everything we’re working towards.”
He seemed to struggle silently with the right words to convey. “Just… be yourself,” he concluded with an exhausted sigh.
“But I’m not like—”
“Attempting to be anything other than your genuine self will only hinder the further development of your abilities. I will explain any perceived incongruousness as necessary…. though I ask that you refrain from using that name.”
“You mean Rachel?” I questioned.
He winced uncomfortably. “Yes, that one,” his tone carried an ominous edge as he leaned in, resting a hand on my pauldron. “Your enemies will surely use it to their advantage.”
What’s wrong with the name Rachel? It’s a perfectly cromulent name!
I was about to press him for specifics, but Captain Corwin, most likely pushed past his professional patience, stepped out of the tent. “I regret to intrude upon your intimate conversation,” he said with an eyebrow cocked roguishly. “But there are a few pertinent matters that require our attention prior to our departure tomorrow.”
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