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“So… you called him out… and then he just… passed out?” Nora asked, her right eyebrow cocked. “That’s quite an extreme measure just to avoid an uncomfortable conversation, huh?”

How could she joke about this…

Sitting in yet another new-to-me chair in my private chambers, I hung my head shamefully. “I’m not sure what I did, but—”

Nora poked my shoulder. “Did you hit him?”

“No! Of course not!”

“Then I doubt you did anything at all. So, let’s see what Father Irijah has to say before going to pieces, okay?”

The wait felt like an eternity as I mulled over everything that had transpired. After screaming for help, my companions assisted me in carrying him back to his private chambers. Unlike mine, his room was small and unadorned, most likely explicitly reserved for visiting clergy members. We had an attendant find Father Irijah, who had been excused by default from the service due to his earlier tirade. Upon hearing the moments leading up to Relias’s unconsciousness, the priest had pursed his lips and exhaled, refusing to provide any insight until he examined him thoroughly. Much to my relief, Aleph insisted he also attend as a chaperone. We had departed the cramped space and regathered in my room instead, where I stared holes into the floor from my chair as time slowed to an almost standstill.

Several attendants in charge of the banquet stopped by to see if we needed anything, but none of us were willing to leave until we had an update on Relias’s condition. We informed them that one of our party was dealing with a short-term illness and promised to join the festivities as soon as they were taken care of.

“I would speak to the Captain alone,” Father Irijah announced as he opened the door, beckoning me into the hallway. I stood up, nodded to everyone else, and left, closing the door softly behind me.

“The only thing I can’t account for is a bruise forming on his chest,” he advised in a low voice. “But I believe it is superficial and insignificant.”

Oh. Nora.

“Uh… one of us poked him with his staff to see if he would respond,” I replied, leaving out her name along with the word ‘repeatedly.’

“I see…” He rubbed his face with a sigh. “It’s my finding that His Holiness has simply overextended himself by burning too much amity during his service. He should be fine with a week or so of rest, provided he doesn’t use any abilities.”

While relieved by the positive prognosis, there was still one problem that troubled me. “A… week or two of rest? We don’t have that luxury!”

“Relias said the same thing,” the priest muttered bitterly. “However, it remains my recommendation—”

“He’s awake now? Why didn’t you say so first?!” I ran to his chambers, ostensibly leaving Irijah behind.

I threw open the doors to his chambers in panic, shouting, “Relias! Are you alright?”

Relias sat up in bed, propped up by several pillows, much like King Saulus. Though still quite pale and tremulous, he smiled quite happily. “Yes. I believe I am fine now!”

“That’s not what Irijah said,” I replied with a frown.

“He does not know my body like I do,” Relias disagreed loftily, his eyes unfocused. “His estimate is overly conservative.”

“Don’t be stubborn. If you need to rest, you need to rest.”

Relias shook his head slowly. “I shall require only a brief moment to change my robes in solitude, after which I shall join the gathering in the banquet hall, where we shall partake in the grand celebration of your return! You’ll need someone to ensure you don’t make any mistakes.”

I forced myself to take a deep breath, determined not to let a snarky retort escape my lips.

Aleph stood up and approached, ignoring Relias along the way. “The others don’t know yet, do they?”

I nodded abruptly, considering the possibility that they had also disagreed based on how unfiltered Relias’s comments were.

Aleph put a light hand on my shoulder. “I shall tell them, and then we’ll join the banquet. Join us, Rae, after you speak some sense into him,” he advised quietly.

Relias scowled. “Old friend, I am being sensible!”

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Aleph turned, his pugnacious jaw set in stone. “If you had any idea of your current complexion, you would surely forfeit your delirious discussion and seek respite.”

Relias’s eyes widened slightly as he touched his face several times. “Is it that bad?”

He listened!? I guess to get through to Relias you have to talk like him…

Aleph shook his head. “You are exhausted from fever,” he replied in a softer tone. “And I have never seen such shadows under your eyes. It will be much harder to provide aid should this happen again on the road.”

Relias sighed but said nothing as Aleph departed. As he leaned back harder on the pillows, I could see his pale face was still soaked with sweat.

“Well… That’s three to one now,” I murmured. “Shall I ask the others to weigh in? Or will you start listening to us when we tell you to rest?”

“…No,” he exhaled again. “Aleph will be there… I trust his judgment. And perhaps a good night’s rest or two will ensure my readiness to depart overmorrow...”

Only if you’re back to your senses!

I folded my arms. “Resting now also means no more wandering the halls in the middle of the night like a lost soul.”

Relias found something interesting to stare at on the ceiling. “Agreed.”

“And I get the final say on when we leave, not you,” I added, pushing the limit of my so-called authority.

He reached out a hand, missing my arm by a mile. “Dear One—”

“Captain,” I swiftly corrected, tucking his arm back to his side. “And no amount of flattery will have me disregard your safety.”

A rather sheepish look crossed his face. “I... suppose one could hardly fault me for attempting it anyway?”

“I’m going to ignore that,” I said with a mock pout before turning serious. “Has this… happened before?”

“Yes,” he admitted with a heavy sigh. “A few times in recent years. It is most… discouraging. I was once so much stronger… and well-respected. How far I have fallen, draining myself over such a simple service to a wary congregation…”

Wary congregation? Something clicked in my brain. “Do your powers… also rely on other’s faith in you?”

“Faith in me…” Relias gazed tenderly at me as if I were a lost child grappling with a difficult lesson. He then tilted his head back and forth as if contemplating something momentarily. “All those blessed with amity are subject to the ideals of self-confidence, trust, and faith,” he eventually explained. “My answer is yes… but it is more complicated than that.”

“It’s especially complicated… if someone doesn’t explain it to you,” I snapped in rebuke.

“Oh, that someone is me, right?” he laughed, lying his head back again and waving his arms as if everything had been a joke. “I had been prioritizing the rebuilding of your confidence through meditation first, for it is hard to solicit trust from others if one does not believe in oneself. Yet faith, belief in something that can never be truly proven, can exist independent of trust. It is easy to harness, too, if you know what you’re doing. However, I realize now that I was remiss in explaining the relationship between all three concepts and their interconnected influence over your abilities. Oh well.”

Oh well?!

It wasn’t even close to an apology for withholding information from me or treating me like a child. It was more of a dry, somewhat calculating acknowledgment that the rationale for doing so was simply misguided in hindsight. But I wasn’t about to demand he atone then either, considering I still wasn’t sure my outburst hadn’t pushed him over the edge after a bad day at work. I mean, I might have had to apologize as well! Instead, I sat down and contemplated his explanation for a few minutes as he gazed absently at the ceiling, seemingly unconcerned about my sour mood.

“Confidence, in myself… I get that,” I stated eventually. “But trust and faith… I thought they were pretty much the same thing?”

“Trust!” he shouted, sitting up to start another lecture. “Trust starts with predictability and reliability— recognizing a pattern that assures us our continued belief in something is warranted. But faith… does not require such evidence. It does not need to prove itself.” He took a deep breath and let out a surprisingly childish moan. “I did not want to make you prove who you were in the service. I asked the nobles to put their faith in you. However, I believe you will benefit from both their trust and faith now as a result, so… all is not lost.”

I scratched my check absently. “Trust… is hard to keep… isn’t it?”

Relias nodded. “It requires continued evidence… And once lost, it is nigh impossible to rekindle. Poof! Gone…”

I’m sure the ‘poof’ part was the fever talking…

“I’ll try to understand the nuances better… but it will take me time,” I admitted. “For now, I think I should go to the banquet and hope for the best.”

“Oh! Hope! Hope is even another related but differing concept from faith,” he advised before realizing my growing chagrin at being left conceptually behind. “But… perhaps it is best to leave that for another day.”

“Indeed…” I agreed.

He cleared his throat several times, a worried look crossing his face. “Let me clarify, however, that what happened was not due to a lack of faith. I simply… overdid it.”

Given the idea that he had disappeared from public scrutiny years ago, I had doubts, but I also knew voicing my opinion might shake his confidence even more than what had just transpired. “I understand,” I replied just as there was an insistent knock at the door. Before I could answer it, however, it opened on its own.

“Tag,” Nora announced as she let herself in, eyeing Relias with a raised eyebrow. “I’ll keep an eye on him…”

I stood up. “You’re not going to the banquet?”

“Nah. Secret weapon, remember?”

Hmm…

“He’s not allowed to leave the room,” I advised earnestly. “And he’s supposed to rest.”

No sneaking off to make sure I’m behaving!

Nora saluted. “Understood! Can you do me a favor, though?”

“Sure, what?”

Nora grinned. “Could you order us room service? I’m starving, and the smell of all the food is killing me!”

I could understand her priorities. “I’ll find someone to bring you both dinner,” I assured her as I left and then made my way towards the banquet hall.

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