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I stood on my first mark, feeling the wooden, weather-worn stage creak loudly beneath me. Its tattered curtains were hauled up by two stagehands who fought with the rusty pulleys holding it. Taking a deep, nervous breath, I looked out over the crowd as it erupted in wild cheers and warbling cat calls. Someone's been awful free with the alcohol...
After a few moments to let the noise die down, my alternate Aleph shouted, “Captain Lightbringer! Hark! Upon the horizon, it is the fortress of ultimate evil!”
I turned and nodded, staring into the backdrop where a black castle with a spiraling tower had been painted, tossing my cape over my shoulder as dramatically as possible. Act One is so short and easy... I barely have to speak at all... No wonder all those heroes stay silent in video games!
“Chosen One,” temporary Tetora kneeled at my feet in the most unrealistic display of deference. “Please, I implore you again, allow us to witness your final victory!”
I pretended to consider his request, then decisively shook my head, crossing my arms in refusal.
“Rae-Rae!” Bridget called in an unexpectedly authentic voice as she ran forward, taking my hands in hers. “Know that I would die a thousand deaths to save you but once!”
Why would you say such a ridiculous thing? And why does that sound so familiar...
“...What?” I said with a flinch, a sharp little squeal piercing my ears as my chest constricted. “I mean... such sacrifice is unnecessary! The point is to live on, enjoying life to its fullest, even if I am no longer able to accompany you!” I felt myself shouting, trying to hear over whatever noise was in my head. “Swear to me, by all that is sacred, you shall not breach the castle's ominous throne room until I have vanquished him!”
The trio shared a few startled glances, then turned and gave me a covert, approving smile for my first lines of improv as whatever mental scream I was hearing snuffed itself out. What the hell just happened...?
“Truly, our Captain speaks with conviction!” Aleph's actor thundered, raising a fist.
“Alas, my heart is incapable of committing to such a vow!” Andreas declared, still in his revealing robes, his illustrious blonde wig swaying as he strode out on stage. “The very tides themselves will not stop me from standing by your side during the final battle!”
What did the tides have to do with this? We're supposed to be in the middle of the desert!
“Relias...” I acknowledged as more than just a few wolf whistles pierced the air. Guess he does have a lot of fans...
“Raelynn!” Andreas cried out in a pained sigh, his hand outstretched but hovering just inches from mine. “No. I... I cannot.” His voice trailed off as the crowd's roar drowned out his words, some of their 'oohs' and 'ahs' sounding genuine in their sympathy, but others were obviously mocking him.
He clenched his fists in frustration and turned away, trembling. “Perhaps... my words would be better delivered when we are alone...”
“It's too dangerous!” I declared. “You must not—”
“How utterly repulsive!” a manic, nasally voice shattered the air with a sibilant hiss, its source unseen. “Do you all truly delude yourself with thoughts of false safety, standing here amidst this sickening charade while his loathsome minions howl and shriek for your blood?”
“O....Oliver?” I turned around a few times with a visible shiver, trying to figure out where the unknown actor was.
“If any of you possessed even the smallest shred of intellect...” the disconnected voice rasped gratingly. “You would scurry away into the shadows, for the night hours are their domain—just as they are mine!” His final words ended in a shouted shriek, eliciting a tidal wave of angry boos from the crowd. No subtlety in this story, I guess...
“Ignore his venom yet give heed to the substance of his words...!” Andreas conceded in exasperation once the crowd settled. “We should take shelter now and pray to the Goddess for her blessing on the morrow.”
We all agreed as the curtain fell, closing on Act One. A new backdrop was unfurled, displaying a star-filled sky and full moon. The tiny orchestra struck up a slow, romantic air, and the next scene quickly opened with Andreas and me pretending to be lost in each other's eyes. Okay. Raelynn and Relias. Except nothing's going to happen between them... it'd be just too weird! Especially with the real Relias watching!
Andreas took the lead. “Raelynn, there is something I must tell you before the dawn.”
I tilted my head, going for obliviousness. This acting stuff wasn’t so hard after all. I found myself falling into the flow easier than I expected. “Did Euphridia answer your prayers? What guidance does she give?”
He knelt before me, turning his adoring gaze upwards as he placed his hand over his heart. “Tonight... I would speak with my own words, not those of the Goddess...”
I tried hard not to laugh at his forsaken face. “Talk freely then, for you seem troubled. I, too, shall share my thoughts.”
“Please, take me with you!” he pleaded in simple desperation. “I want to stand by your side and witness your final strike against him!”
“Relias... I can't bear the thought of you in harm's way...” I sighed softly. “I know it is your duty to—”
“This is not just about duty, Raelynn. It's more than that! I...” He stood up, his hand coming close to but never quite touching my cheek.
“Relias?” I blinked, taking a step back from his overflowing affections. No touchy-touchy, Andreas!
“My staff, my magic, and... my heart are yours! So please, Dear Raelynn, use them as you see fit.” He reached for my hand instead but caught the icy cold gaze of the real Relias from the sidelines and flinched.
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I put on my most vapid expression and said, “Then we will confront the future together, regardless of what it may bring.”
“Hmph!” Oliver's loud utterance dripped contempt, but yet again, I couldn't see the actor it came from. Is he... above us? In the rafters?
“Did you... hear something?” Andreas asked, looking around.
Of course, I heard it; even the audience did! “I—”
“No, you're right,” he answered for me. “It was just the wind... Come now, and let us seek our beds... Separate for tonight, but if fate would allow...”
Did you have to add that last part?!
“Yes,” I agreed, already heading off right. “Let us rest and regain our strength.”
There was a brief intermission before the start of Act Three, primarily to allow for the set up of a flimsy, semi-see-through screen and backlighting, compliments of large wooden chandeliers crammed with dripping tallow candles. That's an awful lot of candlepower...
“One more act to go...” I sighed as I sat on a stool, trying not to wipe my face even though I was soaked in sweat.
Relias came forward, his countenance still a little stormy. “About your scene with Andreas...”
“Cheesy, right?” I chuckled. I usually love cheesy dialogue! Just not when it's directed at me...
“Cheesy?”
“Uh... I mean... like, substandard...”
“You did not like... his approach to the situation?”
“It's just a play...” I said aloud the words I had been telling myself this entire time. “I mean... who tries to confess their feelings right before a life-or-death battle? Wouldn't that just make everything worse on both sides?”
“Yes! My thoughts exactly!” Relias exclaimed, brightening considerably. “The timing is...”
“Awful,” I finished, picking up my prop sword and shield.
“And someone like Andreas... is not your type, right?”
I shook my head. “You mean someone who brags about being routinely propositioned? No thanks. I don't want any more drama in my life. I'd rather associate with people who are more down to earth.”
“Of course... a person of true authenticity...” he uttered softly, almost to himself. “I beg your pardon. You are focused on your immediate duty, and here I am, diverting your attention.”
“I actually appreciate it. Any kind of distraction helps with my nerves...” I tried my best not to glance at the sea of faces or pay too much attention to their remarks. Everyone had an opinion on the story, but we were only sharing one, so I knew there was no way we could manage the majority of the audience's perspectives.
Standing tall on his stilts, with his sides and face covered in a matted layer of horsehair, Alaric waved his claws expectantly.
After I took my mark, we talked through some last-minute logistics. Whispering, he instructed, “We don’t want the fight to feel static, so it should appear you are winning at times and that I am winning at other times. Towards the end, I’ll be the one to finish, so just follow my lead. And don't forget to kneel on the x at the end and stay right there, okay? And...” he paused, adjusting himself one last time. “Sorry for putting you through all this.”
“Alright, and no worries... I'm getting paid, after all.” Getting to meet King Saulus would all be worth it!
The curtain parted once more to reveal us in silhouette, and we shouted a few denunciations at each other at first for good measure.
“Your reign of terror ends here, Demon King!” I shouted, brandishing my sword.
With a demented laugh, Alaric spread his arms to make his hulking form even more menacing as he bellowed, “You think you are safe under the Goddess's protection? Not even her divine powers can save you now that you've trespassed into my inner sanctum! Today will be your final death!”
I held up my sword and shield. “As long as I have Faith and follow her Will, you will never be able to defeat me!”
I thought the line might have been a little too hokey, but the crowd ate it up, whistling shrilly and stomping their feet in approval.
We slowly circled each other to build dramatic tension, and I swung a few strikes away from his sides. My aim was probably too far off even for the illusion of shadow, but no one seemed to call me out for it. Once we had switched positions entirely, we sped up our exchanges, letting our shadows dance wildly across the stage. I concentrated on trying to keep my strikes looking agile and precise, but Alaric went for the appearance of brute force, with his claws slashing wildly.
In a moment of feigned desperation, I mimicked being injured, making what I hoped was a convincing sound of agony as I threw my shield to the ground. I raised my sword high, motioning for a stagehand to adjust the chandeliers in a way that made it seem like I was summoning all my glowing energy. Of course, I could have actually summoned such an aura, but I didn't want to raise any suspicions at that particular moment.
Alaric threw his clawed arms wide and his head back with a fierce roar. We lunged at each other, and I mimicked stabbing him through the heart. Neither of us moved for a moment, but he tumbled forward off his stilts, pulling his cloak-like monster hide with him as he crumpled to the ground. I was left kneeling, precisely on my mark, with my sword slipping from my grasp as he let out one last death cry.
As the thin screen ascended, I couldn't resist peaking at the audience, wondering if our antics made the grade. We were lucky; they were already fans of the genre, most of them were drunk, and above all, they didn't have to pay to participate. I continued to kneel, frozen with the realization that I had indeed made it through the play without screwing up, flubbing my impromptu lines, or accidentally breaking anything. This is a personal best..!
As he strode onto the stage, his face and body were painted in a sickly shade of greyish purple. A long silver wig towered on his head, teased to a gravity-defying height. He wore a flowing cape adorned with spotted leopard fur, already trying to appear as the new king. As he stormed forward to center stage, his heels echoed forcefully, and I could only stare, dumfounded at the most wildly inaccurate portrayal of Oliver I could have ever imagined. This can't be his final form!
He stopped and pointed at me almost accusingly with a long black fingernail, and small parts of the floor around me started to shift, revealing runes painted on the boards' undersides. This must be why I had to kneel on the X. It's a cute effect, though.
“Raelynn Lightbringer!” he addressed me in his shrill, imperious voice. “Continue to kneel before the might of my indomitable will and forsake thy feeble goddess! I, the Dark Serpent, shall rule supreme, unchallenged and invincible. And you, my dear, shall stand by my side, not as a mere follower but as my devoted and most favored concubine, basking in the dark glory of my eternal reign!”
I stared at him for about ten seconds too long, too shocked to respond. “...What did you just say?” I finally managed to splutter.
“Our progeny shall be the harbingers of a new era, conquering all the celestial realms! The very stars shall envy our dominion!” he declared, tossing his cape over his shoulder.
This was all wrong. So very, very wrong! The crowd also agreed, jumping from their seats and shouting profanities.
“I would never agree to such a vile and disgusting offer!” I burst out, my voice trembling with rage as I tried to get my breathing under control.
“You dare to spurn my magnificent offer? Your insolence knows no bounds! But so be it... If you are not to be mine, then you shall be a prize for none!”
“You're goddamn right. I'm not a pri—” The hidden trapdoor under me suddenly gave way, and I was unprepared for the ensuing fall.
“Gaaaaaah!” I screamed in true terror as I plunged beneath the stage. I landed on a pile of linens, and before I could look up to gauge the height of my fall, the door sealed above me, confining me to the darkness. Those sons of bitches! Couldn't they have at least warned me about this?!
“Mwahahahaha!” he laughed maniacally as the crowd booed and hissed. “And thus concludes 'The Legendary Tale of Raelynn Lightbringer,' the only one who could have possibly defeated me!” At that point, I could hear various objects hitting the stage, most likely thrown by his haters.
“You're wrong!” Andreas cried from stage right. “She will return. We promised to face whatever may come together!”
Something skittered across my hand as I tried to pull myself from the pile of dusty laundry. Then, another ran up my leg with a loud squeak. Rats! They're all rats! I'm surrounded by filthy rats!
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