Dear Employer,

I am a poor, young, unemployed person in the culture industry, my name is Hope, I am seeking a suitable position, and I take the chance of begging you, if perhaps from your bedroom where you work you know if such a position might be available.

I know your growing business is new, arrogant, recently invested and politically correct, thus I may yield to the pleasing supposition that a nice, easy, living wage certified position would be open, into which, as a kind of warm cesspit, I can slip in. I am excellently suited, you should know, to occupy just such a modest haven, for my docile self is altogether delicate, and I am essentially a quiet, polite, and dreamy child, who is made to feel cheerful by people thinking of me that I do no ask for much, and allowing me to take possession of a very, very small patch of existence, where I can be useful in my own way and thus feel at ease.

A quiet, sweet, small place in the shade has always been the tender substance of all my dreams, and if now the mirage I have about you grow so intense as to make me hope that my dream, young and old, might be transformed into sensual, vivid reality, then you have, in me, the most zealous and most loyal servant, who will take it as a matter of conscience to discharge precisely and punctually all my duties. Large and difficult tasks I cannot perform, and obligations of a far-ranging sort are too strenuous for my mind. I am not particularly clever, and first and foremost I do not like to strain my intelligence unduly. I am a dreamer rather than a thinker, a zero rather than a force, dim rather than sharp.

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Assuredly there exists in the bulbous expansion of your institution, which I imagine to be overflowing with possibilities, work of the kind that one can do as in a dream? -I am, to put it frankly, a person who deems everything small and modest to be beautiful and pleasing, and to whom all that is big and exacting is fearsome and horrid. I know only the need to feel at my ease, so that each day I can thank my loved ones for life’s boon, with all its joys.

The passion to go far in the world is unknown to me. Alpha Centauri, a star system away is to me not more foreign.

Well, so now you know what sort of person I am. -I type, as you see, grammatically correct and with the use of a thesaurus, and you need not imagine me to be entirely without intelligence. My mind is clear, but it refuses to grasp things that are many, or too many by far, shunning them. I am sincere and honest, and I am aware that this signifies precious little in the world in which we live, so I shall be waiting, dear employer, to see what it will be your pleasure to reply to your respectful servant, positively drowning in obedience.

Best Regards, Hope.