I ran back and forth between the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU) and the delivery room. They meant the world to me. They were the reason I live.
"Please God! Please! Save them! I can't do anything by myself! Please God, I beg you..."
I called Eve's and my parents. They arrived at the hospital shortly and bought dinner for me. But I couldn't eat. I didn't have the appetite.
3+ hours passed. Thankfully, Levi's condition had stabilised at last. But Eve was still held in the delivery room. Another hour passed. I checked the time on my phone, "0045". Finally the doors to the delivery room opened.
A familiar scene replayed itself as a team of doctors and nurses pushed Eve out on a bed to an operating room. This time I couldn't hear what the nurse said. Her voice drowned out by my tears. I peered at Eve’s pale face as tears blurred my vision. Unconscious. Breathing heavily through the mask. They disappeared into the operating theater as the green sign flashed red.
I cried hopelessly with no one to hold but myself. I stared at my phone with eyes like a dead fish as I studied the Bible.
.
.
.
At last, the sign turned green and the doors opened as a doctor walked out.
“Hello, Mr Ethan. I am one of the doctors. There was excessive blood loss during the delivery earlier and we had done multiple blood transfusions. Currently, she has critically low blood oxygen levels. An operation is plausible but she might not have enough oxygen to last through it..”
I couldn’t help but tear up. I felt like weeping but I had to stay strong. This could be the last time I could see her.
"Would you like to go and see her?"
“Yes please."
I walked into the ward but stopped as I saw her from behind the door. She was just lying there. Motionless. Eyes closed. I breathed deeply and exhaled. My lungs devoid of air.
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The sound of the machine was still beeping but I knew she was dying...
I took my seat and held her hands. It was cold like ice. I rubbed my hands, hoping I could transfer some of my warmth. But all I felt was the heat escaping from the gaps between our fingers.
I held back my tears and forced a smile as I whispered into her ear...
"Eve, Eve, remember we were talking about our son Levi a few months ago? Look at him now. He is healthy and in good hands. Remember the recipe book we created? I will be sure to cook lots of good food for him.”
Her index finger twitched and wrinkles formed around her eyelids. But her eyes refused to open like prison bars.
“Don’t you want to see him! Our son, Levi!”
Every nerve of her facial muscles twisted the iron bars apart. To catch a glimpse of the outside. The light from the phone screen deepened the blue in her eyes. I placed her finger on the picture.
“Levi. My dear Levi.”
The last embers of her soul was fading. She wanted to tell me something. My ear kissed the transparent breathing mask.
“I’m listening Eve.”
She poured every last bit of oxygen to reignite her dying flame. Her words scorched my heart. Burnt marks of death and rebirth inscribed in my soul.
I will never forget her last words.
“Ethan, tell our son I love him. Sorry I can’t be with you. To see him grow. Sorry for breaking our promise.”
I held her hand close to my heart as I heard her dying voice. I fought so hard to keep my tears at bay. But droplets crawled their way into my eyes.
“Don't worry Eve, I'll take care of him. I'll see to it that he grows up into a fine young man.”
“I love you, Eve."
I kissed Eve on her forehead. And put the bright orange flame to sleep with bedtime stories. Stories of Levi‘s future.
Traces of colour faded into wisps of grey smoke. Gone with the wind. As the candle found rest in an eternal slumber.
*beeeeeeepppp*
.
.
.
"The other half is for you, Eve."
"Dad! Dad? Hey Dad!"
"Yes Levi?"
"Are you reading that again?"
"I was just thinking of your mother."
*silence ensued*
"Don't worry Dad. She's left us for a better place first. And when our time comes, we will reunite in heaven."
"Yup! You’re right. Alright! What do you wanna have for dinner? Would you like to try my ...?"
"Please tell me it's not another one of your Chicken Chop Recipes."
"You got it right!"
Levi's Dad gently placed the recipe book down beside a half-eaten strawberry cake on the table. And these words were written on the second page of the book:
In memory of Eve who gives us strength to continue living.
###
Through the death of one came the life of another. Ethan and Levi never lost anyone. Eve had always been living in their hearts. What you had seen was not a story of grief but a story of hope. A story Syndesi was not ready to accept.