I was about to walk in and start celebrating with Lydia, but the sun was going down, and it had been a while since I’d taken one of my walks. One of the real ones, the kind of walks I took before the demons got to me.
I blasted music through my filaments for a while, skipping rooftops across the Zone. The Zone was a no-man’s land in a historic section of Boston called Back Bay East. The area had been a living shrine to old America, until a Mesopotamian death god spawned in Boston Common and started wrecking shit, stomping cars, smashing buildings, surrounded by a cloud of shadow stuff that killed anything it touched and brought them back as zombies.
Every superhero in the country flew out and fought him to a standstill for thirty minutes, until Arthur Walton, the last living archmage, used some kind of magic amplifier in Madison Tower and turned the god to dust.
The city had tried to rebuild the area a hundred times, but no matter what they did, the god’s giant footprints always came back. Now the area was saturated by a churning, sickly-green fog that slowly sapped the life out of anything that wandered around in it.
It was great for pest control, killing rats and insects. It killed all the grass and trees. Even weeds couldn’t survive in the Zone. Even the gangs and homeless people were scared to go in by 2058. My apartment was right on the edge of it, right across the street from the fog. The fog was just a light green haze during the day, but it rolled in thick at night, and that was my favorite time to walk.
Anybody who tried to move into my apartment building killed themselves or went crazy in a week or so, but Nergal never bothered me. Denise said the old god liked me, and I kind of liked him, after he helped me fight off a squadron of flying Imps and seal a portal to Hell.
My accomplishments didn’t feel real yet because I hadn’t told the most important person yet. I dangled my feet off the edge of one of Nergal’s giant footprints and said, “Hey Mom. I’m sorry we haven’t talked in a while. I got kinda busy around my birthday, and I haven’t had much time to think.
“You knew they were coming, right? That’s why you sat by my bed all those nights, trying to keep them away? I guess I should say thank you for that, now that I finally understand. I’m sorry I complained about it, all those nights I told you I could sleep by myself. I thought sleeping by myself would prove I was a big boy, but now I am a big boy, and I would give just about anything to have you back.
“You probably wouldn’t approve of the shit I’ve done lately, but you always let me tell you anything, so I’m gonna tell you the truth now, and hope I can make you understand.
“I’m a wizard now, and I’m gonna be one of the good ones. I’m sorry the school lied to you, in that blood test you saw, the one that made you think I didn’t get it. I remember how happy you were when you thought the magic skipped me, and how sad I was that I wasn’t going to be a badass wizard superhero like on TV.
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“But now I really am gonna be a superhero, and I really am gonna do this right. I’m not gonna hurt people like my grandpa or my great grandpa. I’m gonna help people, just like Captain Cobalt. I know a lot of people still hate him. I know a lot of people think he was a bad guy pretending to be a good guy, but I don’t care. He’ll always be a good guy in my head, and that good guy is the one who talks to me, whenever I don’t know what to do.
“You know I brought a demon back home with me. I already got in a little trouble for that, and it’s probably gonna cause a lot more trouble before I’m done, but Lydia, that’s her name, Lydia risked everything for me, and I can’t abandon somebody who does that. I can’t abandon someone who… someone who loves me. Wow. Somebody loves me. Been a while since I’ve said that out loud. I would have preferred to be loved by a human, but I guess when it comes to love, you just gotta take what you can get.
“I think Denise wants to love me, but I can’t do anything about it, because this demon loved me first. That’s the rule, right? You’ve got to stay with the one who loves you first.
“I start my new job tomorrow.” I waved my lanyard at the sky. “I don’t care if I’m starting at the bottom. I don’t need to punch bad guys to feel like a man. I’m gonna go out there and help people. I’m gonna help people and heal people and save people who are about to die. And that’s enough for me. I mean, punching bad guys is fun. Punching demons fucking rocks.
“Sorry.” I tried not to curse when I was talking to Mom. “Punching things is fun, especially when they deserve it, but I don’t need to punch stuff to feel like Captain Cobalt. The Captain saved thousands of people from floods and earthquakes and car wrecks, just like I’m about to do.
“And if a bad guy gets in my way while I’m doing that part, well, he might just get a little punched.” I broke off, wiped my eyes and started again. “I guess the important part is to tell you I’m okay. I’m not hurt. I’m not sad. I’m not angry, and they didn’t turn me evil.
“That big demon tempted me with everything I ever wanted, and I ripped his fucking heart out. Lydia tempted me with everything I ever wanted, and I sent her back with a bullet. I didn’t think I would be strong enough to do that, but I did it. I did it twice. And if I did it twice, I can do it again. I’m stronger than these things, Mom. I’m stronger than grandpa was. You don’t have to worry about me. I’m not gonna turn into him. I’m gonna be something else. I’m gonna be something better. I’m gonna save a thousand people, and then I’ll tell you all about it, when I finally get to see you again.”
And then I cried for a while, watching the green fog surge and billow in time with my tears. Then I cleared my throat and decided to tell Dad, too, while I was here.
“And Dad, if you can hear me down there, fuck you. You’re gonna hate what I’m about to become, but fuck you. Fuck you, I’m gonna do it anyway. Your son is gonna become everything he ever wanted to be, and he’s gonna punch the shit out of anything that gets in his way.”
* * *
Lydia was waiting for me when I got home, and this time I didn’t wait for her to come to me. I pulled her right off the wall and kissed her. Then I took her to the bedroom and thanked her, in every way I could.