Harry waited until the airlock door hissed shut behind Mrg-Znrnah before he slid forward off of his crash couch. The cockpit was now an utter mess, with chunks of protective foam stuck everywhere…not to mention the out-cold form of his second kidnapper sprawled face-down near the co-pilot’s station. It was like navigating around the stalagmites of some weird-smelling cave; he figured that the slight acrid smell around him was due to the particular chemistry used in the expanding foam. He bumped and wriggled his way towards the airlock.
Fortunately, he’d seen the airlock controls from his couch in spite of the foam, and been able to watch as Mrg-Znrnah activated it. Unfortunately, that very same keypad was set at Dorarizin head-height…which meant that it was right now quite out of his reach.
He looked around with increasing desperation. The rogue Princess had something stupid in mind, that much he knew. Based on his relatively untrained reading of Dorarizin body language, that ‘something stupid’ would almost certainly result in her death. He couldn’t let her do that. Even though she’d had a part in his kidnapping, she had also just saved his life.
Seeing no other option, Harry settled on kicking his slippered feet into the nearest hardened foam outcrop, driving himself upward as if his toes were pitons and he was engaging in a bit of rock-climbing. His captor-provided slippers were just that, a mere fabric covering for his feet. As a result, his toes twanged painfully each time he kicked into foam. Harry now realized the value of Jevnar’s workouts; a few months ago, he would have lacked the necessary leg strength to do even this much.
But those forceful kicks still hurt his toes, and as he made one final kick to pull himself up to keypad-height he felt and heard a painful crunch from a few of his piggies as he drove them into the foam.
“Fookin’ hell,” he muttered. He ignored the ever-increasing throbbing pain from his foot as he surveyed the keypad. Now, what was that key-press sequence she had used…?
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Jevnar’s nostrils flared as he saw a jump-suited figure edge its way around the tilted scarab shape of the crashed shuttle. He smelled a very familiar perfume, and even before she came fully into view he knew that this person was the Princess. She was helmet-less, and her once neat and dark-green headfur now stuck out in a messy frizz. The rest of her was still contained in the sleek black jumpsuit he’d seen her in before.
Behind the butler hovered the aggressive and angular form of Thunderbird Three. Driver seemed content to sit back and let Jevnar handle the perpetrators, but had imparted to him through complicated sign language that, if need be, he was ready to drive over anyone who needed smashing. At the moment Jevnar had no weapon in hand; he hoped to peacefully resolve this whole sordid mess.
“{Your Highness,}” he said with deadly calm. “[Where is Sir?]”
“{Unharmed and safe in the shuttle,}” she sighed. “{No thanks to that bitch Grznagh. Don’t worry, she won’t be waking up for a good [couple of hours]. Plenty of time to get the local fuzz here to secure both her and the scene.}”
“{Excellent. I suppose you’ve decided to, as they say, come quietly?}”
His eyes narrowed as she let forth a buzzsaw of a laugh.
“{Oh, my adorable little butler, I wish it was going to be that easy for either of us...}”
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Mrg-Znrnah stared with resignation at the black-clad figure opposite her. Then she raised her eyes and stared at the wind-sculped bluffs around them, watching the sand and dust whirling about them thanks to the ever-present hot breezes on this desert planet. She laughed again, this time a sad and despairing laugh.
“{Is something funny, madame?}” asked Jevnar, his posture still proper and upright amongst the blowing grit and detritus which flowed around his body. “{And what exactly did you mean by ‘not easy’?}”
She ceased looking around her and settled her eyes upon him. “{Did you ever consume tiny-chomper media, my dear sir? More specifically, their [Westerns]?}”
He did not miss her intent; Jevnar’s eyes narrowed further as he dropped his hands and angled himself towards her. “{Madame, there is no need for such a…dramatic end to this, especially since Sir will be returned unharmed. If you also provide testimony to the Senate, your sentence will be greatly reduced. You have my word on that.}”
Mrg-Znrnah responded with an unhappy smile. “{My sentence will be reduced, but not eliminated. If I’m in jail, then my employers can reach me even easier than if I was out and on the run. And if I’m honest, neither option really speaks to me.}” She glanced over his upright figure, with his paws down by his hips. “{I imagine you have a weapon somewhere upon you.}”
“{You imagine right, madame.}” His impassive face flickered and, for just a moment, assumed a pleading look. “{Not to mention you must know of my past endeavors.}” Jevnar’s dark-green gaze flicked up and down her own much more form-fitting suit, settling eventually upon the weapon strapped to her hip.
The Princess chuckled. “{Indeed I do. This creates an interesting opportunity for a…let’s call it a contest. I have my gun here, out and readily available, while yours is secreted somewhere on your person. No, don’t tell me, I want to guess where you keep it. So here’s the most important question at the moment…can you, with all your much-vaunted ability, get to your hidden gun before I can get to my open one?}” She shifted her hip slightly as her pawpads twitched, emphasizing the easy access she had to her weapon.
Before he could respond, Mrg-Znrnah heard the shuttle’s outer airlock door hiss open behind her. Her heart sank as she knew exactly who was coming out; that intuition was proved correct by a subsequent high-pitched, warbling yell.
“[What the everlasting [goddamned] [fuck] is going on here?]” [Harry] hobbled around into her peripheral vision, his face set in a furious scowl.
When Jevnar saw Harry’s pained walking, his mane bristled out in sudden anger. “{You said he was uninjured!}”
[Harry] waved off the butler’s protest. “[It’s not her fault, [Jevnar], this one’s on me. Broke one of my damn toes trying to reach the airlock console. The Princess saved my life from the other one.]”
Mrg-Znrnah didn’t dare turn to look at the tiny-chomper. She kept all of her attention on Jevnar as she spoke. “{[Harry]…you don’t want to see this. Please, go back inside.}”
She was surprised at the volume of his responding shout. “[I am not a [fucking pup], you bitch!]”
The Princess twitched an ear backwards in irritation. “{Very well…pup. Just stay out of my way.}”
“[Out of the way of what? Some [glrnada-shit] quick-draw contest? Hey, if anybody here’s acting like a child, it’s you.]”
Jevnar was over his brief fury, and was now back to being an impassive monolith. “{Madame, I agree with Sir. Why don’t all of us call this a day? You’ve taken steps to repent of your actions. You saved Sir’s life. I think we can get you a sentence of perhaps [ten years] at most. Within a very secure prison, one which I can vouch for.}”
She smiled sadly and shook her muzzle. “{You underestimate my employer. She will kill me, no matter where you place me.}”
The butler’s grim countenance didn’t waver. “{I disagree. Not to mention you can help bring [Whrnsnnanth’nan] to justice.}”
“[Yeah, you can get her properly cuffed and stuffed!]” added [Harry], before he paused and looked towards Jevnar. “[Um, who’s that you mentioned?]”
Mrg-Znrnah shook her snout. “{No. Forgive me for saying so, but you’re both much too naïve.}” She turned her muzzle ever so slightly towards [Harry]. “{Don’t you see? This is how it has to end. The setting is too perfect, especially from a tiny-chomper point of view. The ultimate showdown of the bad guy versus the good guy.}” She bowed a little in Jevnar’s direction. “{Of course, he’s the good guy in this scenario, even though we’re both wearing black.}”
Jevnar’s body language relaxed into readiness, and the Princess followed suit. For a long moment the tableau became very quiet. The only noise was the rasping of blown dust and sand while the three people present stood in a triangle facing each other, wondering who was going to make the first move.
To her surprise, the one to break the silence was the tiny-chomper. “[This is not some [Moon-addled] movie, Princess. This is real life, more importantly this is your life. You have my word and Jevnar’s that we’ll get you the best deal possible. We’ll make sure you’re safe. Don’t you want to see whoever-she-is taken down?]”
She slowly reached out in front of herself and extended her polished black claws, examining them in the harsh overhead sunlight. “{I’ll admit that would be satisfying, but I’ll still see it from the inside of a cage. No deal. Not to mention the dishonor I’d bring to the Dorarizin royal bloodline. Even with a plea-bargain, I’m still going to lose my claws over this.}”
In spite of her movement Jevnar remained utterly still, his black-suited form seeming like a statue carved out of obsidian.
To his credit, [Harry] didn’t relent. “[You don’t know that’s the case. I can get you the best legal representation in the galaxy. Now that you know for sure. Please, think it over.]”
“{Oh, my poor little darling,}” replied the Princess as she slowly dropped her hand down towards her hip…and towards her weapon. “{I’ve thought this over many times. I knew I was going to have to pay someday, it’s an all-too-obvious end when one regards the choices I’ve made. Now it appears that particular ‘someday’ is…today…}”
Like lightning, Mrg-Znrnah’s hovering paw snapped towards her hip…but as her paw reached its destination there sounded out a terrible roar combined with an almighty pain in that same paw. She dropped to her knees in agony as she saw her pistol go clattering away across the rocky ground.
Jevnar was still motionless, but now a small pistol of his own protruded from one fist. Its muzzle was rock-steady on her head as she clutched her good paw over her wounded one. That injured paw leaked a torrent of blue blood from a large hole punched clean through it.
“{Please do not move, madame,}” said Jevnar mildly, as if he hadn’t just shot her gun right out of her paw.
“[Shit!]” Harry hobbled towards Mrg-Znrnah.
“{Remain in place, Sir.}”
[Harry] didn’t follow orders; he continued wobbling forward until he reached her side. “[To hell with that nonsense!]”
“{Sir…}”
The tiny-chomper for sure was not having any of Jevnar’s suggestions as he spun to face his butler. “[Listen to me, you overgrown shag-pile RUG. Get a first-aid kit from the shuttle!]”
Jevnar sighed. “{One day I wish Sir would actually listen to my advice.}” He touched the implant next to his ear and muttered for a bit. After another moment, Thunderbird Three’s door opened and Driver hopped down with an oversized white lozenge clutched in both hands.
Mrg-Znrnah bowed her head as she gritted her teeth. [Harry’s] smaller hands teased her injured paw away from her.
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“[Come on, let me see how bad it is…]” His tone was soothing as he examined her wounded paw. “[Okay, that’s not too bad, some regeneration and you’ll be all healed up again.]”
“{Are you a doctor as well?}” she asked with a bitter chuckle.
“[One could say I’ve had an informal education. That’s thanks to funding all of the research for my implant.]”
She half-smiled. “{I see.}” Then her smile faded as Driver came striding up, unfazed by all of the blue gore around her. For a moment she thought about lunging for either tiny-chomper, making a threatening feint which would require Jevnar to shoot her dead.
Somehow [Harry] picked up her momentary urge. “[Don’t,]” he murmured as he unsnapped the kit provided by Driver and pulled out some silvery bandages. “[Please.]” He stared into her face as the silvery nano-fabric wrapped itself around her paw. “[I meant what I said. I’ll spare no expense for your defense.]”
“{Why?}” she murmured back.
[Harry] looked down and shrugged as he made sure the bandages were only covering what they needed to. “[You saved my life. Plus, we [tiny-chompers] think that most people deserve a second chance.]”
Mrg-Znrnah sagged in relief as the analgesics contained in the bandages numbed her pain. “{Would you also give a second chance to Grznagh?}”
“[Who?]”
“{The other kidnapper. She tried to hurt you, or maybe…maybe she’d have done worse.}”
[Harry] leaned back and thought a bit, still not willing to meet her eyes. “[She did grab at me, but I also stabbed her in the eye. I figure that’s enough payback. Sure, I’ll give her a second chance…maybe not as big a one as I’ll give you, but I don’t want her getting the death penalty or anything.]”
Any further musing by Mrg-Znrnah was cut short as a bevy of shuttles roared into view overhead and hovered about the scene, all of them bearing the gray-and-silver livery of the Gnranth-Eight constabulary.
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Harry was sure he was going to get an earful, so after the initial round of police interviews and other nonsense he squared his shoulders as he followed Jevnar into Thunderbird Three. He spoke up after the airlock doors were safely closed. “Hey, Jeeves? I’m really sorry about what I said back there. You rescued me. I shouldn’t have called you an overgrown ruguuumph…”
His world went black, and all he could feel was soft fur around his head. He realized after a moment that he was hugged right up into the crook between Jevnar’s neck and his muzzle.
The human heard actual distress in his butler’s words. “[Sir…[Harry], please be more careful in the future.]”
He returned the hug awkwardly around Jevnar’s neck while his feet dangled well clear of the deck below. “Of course. I shouldn’t have wandered off like that. It was just that you seemed to be getting on so well with that racer gal and I didn’t expect…well, I didn’t expect such a coordinated effort to get to me.”
After another few moments, Jevnar finally set Harry down on the metal deck. His almost-desperate look smoothed back over into his typical detached air. “[Of course, Sir. Please do not berate yourself over such matters. But still, even though I am sure we have eliminated this particular threat to your person, I am also sure there are others out there. We must remain cautious.]”
Harry smoothed back his own frizzed-out hair; his usual untidy mop was now even more so thanks to all of the nonsense he’d gone through lately. “Of course we should.” He looked towards the cockpit and saw Driver’s white-helmeted head looking back at the pair. There was a particularly smug set to his helmet, and Harry thought some clarification was in order.
“Jeeves was just scenting me, that’s all. Tensions will be high already on board, and I don’t need some Dorarizin woman snatching me away because she thinks I’m some sort of abandoned pup…that, on top of seeing me back safe and sound.”
That smug set of Driver’s helmet didn’t alter, and Harry pointed an accusatory finger at Driver. “Wait one damn minute. That jumpsuit won’t keep your smell from getting out, and you haven’t been mobbed by the Dorarizin women on board. Who the hell is scenting you?”
Driver tilted his helmet further to the side in a cheeky manner that said louder than words: Wouldn’t you like to know? Then the white-clad human turned back to his controls.
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Nk’nar-of-Anghr sagged back onto his haunches in relief. “{The tiny-chomper is back on board his shuttle. We have preliminary interviews from him and everyone else…well, except for the second kidnapper. She’s still unconscious. But we do have plenty of forensic data from the kidnapper’s shuttle, not to mention all of the information which the tiny-chomper’s crew hunted to ground. I’m not the most experienced at this sort of thing, but for now it looks like a solid case.}”
Nglangah-of-Jgnar placed a comforting paw on his shoulder, taking her eyes for a moment off of the displays in front of her. “{It sounds like you won.}”
The cute little male blushed and stammered his reply. “{W…w…well, if I did win, the credit is due to a lot of people.}” His face was so adorable that it was all Nglangah could do to keep herself from sweeping him up into a big hug. But no, that was wrong. He was a proud and independent man, and deserved to stand upright on his own two paws.
A beep from her console tore Nglangah’s gaze back; a relatively small ship had just exited from warp and was broadcasting its good intentions to all and sundry. “{Hmm, looks like one of the Senate investigation teams arrived…one Furious Claw of Inquiry…wow, they’ve got some serious credentials. Let’s put you into that orbit…}” She smirked over her shoulder at Nk’nar. “{Guess they arrived just in time to claim all of the credit, eh?}”
Nk’nar stood back and made a pushing-away motion with his two upper paws. “{They can have it. Last thing I want is to be caught up in some interspecies incident. Eeergh. That would involve politics.}”
Nglangah was going to make some smart-ass remark which agreed with his general disgust, but then her eyes widened as more…and more…and STILL MORE blips began to fill the space around Gnranth-Eight. The planet now looked as if it was under attack by a swarm of angry insects.
Her claws flew across her holographic controls. The automated systems could handle a lot of the orbit-assigning for all of the newcomers, but she needed to keep ahead of the software and also tell all of the incoming ‘helpers’ that the problem was fixed right now, thank you very much, no help required, but for the moment please keep to your assigned orbits very precisely lest ye be targeted by our automated planetary defenses…
The Head Constable now leaned over her shoulder without any regard to her personal space. Ordinarily, she’d be delighted with such ‘unspoken’ attention from him, but right now it was just another source of distraction. One that was made even worse when a fresh batch of very large blips emerged from warp.
“{Is that…is that the Ninth Fleet of the Holy Inquisition?}” he whispered next to her ear.
“{Looks like it,}” she grunted as she issued a fresh batch of what amounted to [calm your tits, please] messages to the swarm of incoming dreadnaughts.
And so her turmoil went on; for the next few hours, Gnranth-Eight became the hub of activity for just about every military fleet in the vicinity. It was exhausting, trying to keep all of the would-be do-gooders from either colliding with each other or from getting a few missiles up the tailpipe from the automated systems which protected Gnranth-Eight. Nglangah would ordinarily have bitched to her supervisors about getting either better pay or more help, but at the end of her ordeal she did get a nice shoulder-rub from Nk’nar. That was almost good enough to make up for all the rest of this nonsense.
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The next few hours became a whirl of back-and-forth amongst all of the new arrivals about who, exactly, was in charge of this particular crime scene. It was a whirl that was settled by the first ship to arrive on the scene; the ship’s large Dorarizin captain put her quite substantial gray-furred foot down and said that, since they’d been first to get there, her team definitely had priority.
Everyone else then took a discreet look at her team’s record and then, equally discreetly, began to make themselves scarce. Even the Inquisition’s Ninth Fleet peeled off and warped out of the system without further complaint.
All of this semi-political maneuvering was but a mere background to Jevnar; he was mainly concerned with reuniting his Sir with the rest of the crew of Thunderbird One. That reunion was every bit as wonderful as one might imagine, especially when it came time for the meeting between [Harry] and Prnaana’shan. It was as if the tiny-chomper gave a holy benediction to the heartbroken security officer; after [Harry’s] declaration that the Jornissian had done no wrong, Prnaana’shan stood up straighter and had a less desperate look in his eyes.
But after a few hours of wonderful reunions, there was no avoiding the inevitable. His Sir (and those of the crew involved in this distasteful affair) would have to give their testimony to the Senate team. Jevnar made it quite clear to the latter that these interviews would be conducted with both himself and Jnsnrnan’sn’ah present. It might not be necessary to have the head of [Harry’s] legal team on hand; after all, there was no hint of wrongdoing on the crew’s part. But Sir had acted in self-defense while causing injury to another, and Jevnar was taking no chances.
Fortunately, it appeared that the Senate team, one ‘We Who Hunt Between the Spaces’, weren’t interested in attaching any minor nonsense charges to anyone involved in this affair. During all of many hours of testimony, Jevnar was content to stand next to the exit door while Jnsnrnan’sn’ah took his rightful place at the side of each crewmember being questioned.
Across a narrow table from the lawyer and the interviewee squatted Captain Rgrarshok and her XO, Ngralh. The two policemen were perfectly polite yet thorough during each interview. They walked through the timeline of the kidnapping and subsequent panicked searching for Sir, focusing in particular on how the crew had unraveled the identity of the kidnappers.
Sir was the next-to-last one to be interviewed. Jevnar clenched his paws into fists as he listened to [Harry’s] tale of waking up alone, afraid, and utterly at the mercy of giant aliens. The Captain called up an image of the cell they’d found on board the kidnappers’ shuttle, and Harry used it to describe what happened next. His anger became tempered as Sir walked through the method he’d use to purloin a utensil.
“[…and after that I just lay there. Fortunately the plastic of the spoon was pretty [crappy], so I could sharpen it just by rubbing it on the edge of the cot. I kept it out of sight between me and the wall, just in case they had cameras in there.]”
“{A wise precaution,}” said the Captain.
Sir smiled and relaxed at her minor praise. “[Not much to tell after that. Maybe it was a couple hours later, the big Dorarizin comes bombing into the room and grabs me before I could even blink, right around the waist. Next thing I know I’m sitting in a couch in the cockpit, and the Princess is strapping me in. I didn’t know for sure it was her at that time, she had her helmet on.]”
[Harry] blew out a breath. “[After that, I just about shit myself when we started flying all over the place. I couldn’t even see out the front windscreen, they’d put my couch too low to the floor. Then I heard the Princess scream and we went tumbling all over the place. At the first impact I couldn’t see a [damn] thing anymore thanks to all the foam around me. And then…]” He trailed off and shuddered, causing Jnsnrnan’sn’ah to put a comforting hand on Sir’s shoulder.
The Captain fixed [Harry] with her purple eyes. “{We’ve interviewed Mrg-Znrnah about what happened next. Grznagh threatened to hurt you?}”
“[Yes, something about getting paid while extracting some pain from me…I panicked, and as she was yelling at the Princess, I stabbed her in the eye with the sharpened handle of my spoon. I know, it was a stupid thing to do.]”
“{Is it safe to say that you were put into fear for your life?}” asked Nglrah.
[Harry] nodded. “[Any of you Dorarizin could crush my body like a [melon] without a second thought. Plus she was pretty [pissed off], I didn’t know if she was just gonna slap me around…which would be bad enough…or maybe use her claws.]” He shuddered again, and this time (to Jevnar’s surprise) the Captain herself leaned across the table and put a paw on Sir’s hand.
“{It’s all right,}” she said. “{We just needed to establish the threat, that you acted in self-defense.}”
After that Sir relaxed again and led them through the rest of his tale. With evident relief he stood and walked out, giving Jevnar what the tiny-chompers called a ‘fist-bump’ as he left. Jevnar saw the hulking form of Prnaana’shan waiting just outside; if the security officer had anything to say about it Sir was not going to ever leave his sight again.
Jevnar couldn’t blame the Jornissian, but he did hope that Prnaana’shan would relax after a few weeks of uneventful travel. His musing became cut short as the Captain fixed her intense gaze upon him.
“{Jevnar-of-Ahnrans,}” she said in a mild tone, then gestured at the space next to Jnsnrnan’sn’ah. “{Please, sit.}”
The butler did so, and spent the next [hour] or so going through…well, pretty much what he’d heard the rest of the crew going through. He had a few extra things to add, such as his confrontation with the mole on board Thunderbird One. Jevnar didn’t exactly lie about any part of that encounter, but he did [bowdlerize] his threats of violence and death towards Dgnrah.
One didn’t talk about such things in front of a lady.
The only real comments from the police came as he recounted the final confrontation with Princess Mrg-Znrnah and the part he’d played in it.
“{We have your file, of course,} said Ngralh with a friendly smile that didn’t fool Jevnar for one bit. “{You’ve had plenty of experience. You’ve killed quite a few people, enough to well know the danger of shooting to injure instead of to kill.}”
Jevnar shifted a bit on his backside. “{In fairness to myself, it has been many years since I’ve fired a weapon in anger. Perhaps I’m out of practice.}”
“{Perhaps?}” asked the Captain in an almost purring manner.
The butler shifted again and mumbled something.
“{Could you repeat that?}” asked Nglrah.
“{Sir didn’t want her to die,}” said Jevnar with finality. “{That is why I did not shoot to kill.}”
Mercifully, that seemed to be an end to it….but then, as the Captain and Ngralh stood, the huge Dorarizin looked back and forth between Jnsnrnan’sn’ah and Jevnar, as if weighing something in her mind. She looked at Ngralh with an unspoken question, and he nodded an ear in response.
She squared her considerable shoulders and faced the pair across the table. “{Officially, we have no further questions. We also see no need for charges to be filed against any of your crew, including [Harry]. There is not doubt that he acted purely in self-defense. Be assured, my pack will not rest until those behind this deplorable act are brought to justice.}”
Jevnar stood, while beside him Jnsnrnan’sn’ah coiled himself higher. “{Thank you madame. I have every confidence in you and your team’s ability.}”
Ngralh grinned, and this time he meant it. “{Hey, you and your own crew did a pretty good job tracking down those kidnappers. Ever think about going into private investigation?}”
“{No thank you. Once was enough for me.}” He fixed the Captain with a more intense stare of his own. “{I did notice, however, your emphasis on the word ‘officially’. Is there something more to this affair?}”
Captain Rgrarshok sighed. “{Yes. It’s a…discrepancy. I suppose that’s the best way to describe it. Not in anyone’s testimony. Perhaps it’s better if we show you. Would the pair of you mind accompanying us? Perhaps you can clear it up.}”