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Chapter Six

The mistake Harry made was twofold. First, he’d used his dominant (left) hand to hold all three of his biscuits. Second, his ‘cutoff switch’ was located in the same left-side pocket which meant he couldn’t access it as quickly as he might have otherwise.

As the first creature started its gentle lipping at the proffered treat, the presence of the other two treats in the same hand meant that the other two beasts next to Harry thought that they were getting offered treats as well. Their lips latched onto his sleeve and yanked him sideways with surprising force. He let out a yelp of protest.

“Hang on, folks, there’s plenty here for everybody…”

Mrg-Znrnah glanced over upon hearing his words, just in time to see one of the ‘grabby’ animals latch its teeth hard into Harry’s left jacket sleeve. Fortunately it just contacted nanofabric instead of the flesh of Harry’s arm. There was no way it could tear the ultra-tough material, of course, but there was no way that she could know that. And so the Princess darted forward to assist the human, her sudden panic meaning that she moved a lot faster than she should have.

Jevnar hadn’t been quite honest with Harry. The kill-switch in Harry’s pocket was not a ‘true’ disarming mechanism. It was meant to put the suit’s automated systems into a ‘low alert’ mode so as to ignore ‘normal’ movement around Harry’s person.

The sudden rush by the Princess, however, meant that this low-alert mode was thrown out the proverbial window. As a result the suit’s proximity alarms went off in a blare of sudden, almost stunning sound focused towards Mrg-Znrnah.

Harry didn’t even have time to blink before the next phase of the suit’s defense mechanisms went into action. There was a sudden and very loud FOOMP and Harry’s world went completely dark.

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Jevnar carried the wobbly white sphere into the shuttle’s interior with slightly shaking paws. He moved with some caution since he could barely see over or around its bulk. The décor within was clearly that of someone wealthy, covered with lots of plush carpeting and leather seating.

Driver swiveled his head backwards from his pilot’s chair and fixed Jevnar with his expressionless black visor. The butler could hear louder than words the pilot’s unspoken question and just shrugged. Without a single word (of course) Driver turned back around to stare at his displays with a total lack of interest in anything else.

Jevnar set his precious package down on the carpet next to a tiny-chomper-sized chair. The puffy sphere began to wiggle and emit muffled noises of displeasure.

The butler ignored those noises as he stepped over to a nearby table holding a silver tray which in turn supported a few tumblers and a big decanter filled with an amber liquid. He turned over two of the glasses and poured a generous helping of the liquid into each of them, then followed that up by tossing one of the shots down his throat. He closed his eyes as he relished the slight burn caused by the dose of tiny-chomper liquor.

“{Even I didn’t know I could run that fast,}” he said aloud to nobody in particular.

He took another moment to allow his heart rate to return to normal. The only sound in the shuttle was the continuous muffled yelling from within the inflated sphere behind him. As Jevnar poured himself another healthy dose of Calm Medicine, the puffy ball began wiggling harder. It started rolling and bumped up against the nearby chair. After another wiggle-and-bump to confirm the chair’s presence, the ball started rolling in the other direction.

Jevnar stuck out his foot in a posture almost like a sidekick and stopped the rolling sphere in its tracks while he finished his second drink. Only then did he finally reach into a jacket pocket and take out a small control. He tapped a code into its surface and the shuttle’s cabin was filled with a loud hiss.

The sphere deflated into separate cells, each of which turned into white sacs. Each of those sacs was attached in turn to the various limbs and torso of one very red-faced tiny-chomper. Now that he was freed from his soft cocoon the pissed-off alien leaped to his feet and took in a deep lungful of air.

“[WHAT THE BLOODY-]”

With his usual casual speed, Jevnar cut off the tirade before it could get going by presenting [Harry] with the other full glass. “{I must make my most profuse apologies to Sir. The suit alarm went off and I reacted as I deemed appropriate.}”

Harry took a few deep breaths as he regarded the glass in front of him. “[Did you say anything to her? Make any excuses at least?]”

“{I had no idea what was going on. Upon the alarm notification I ran up, retrieved Sir, and retreated as fast as I could.}”

“[Did she say anything?]”

“{She was too busy rolling around on the ground with her paws over her ears. I fear I may have made the audible alarm system a bit overpowered.}”

With a disgusted sigh [Harry] took the proffered tumbler and sipped a bit of the whiskey. “[I don’t know what happened. Those [giraffe-thingys] got a little too carried away, that’s all. I could have sworn I’d shut off my suit’s proximity alarms. Now [Mrg-Znrnah] must think I’m the galaxy’s biggest idiot.]”

For one brief moment Jevnar thought about confessing the truth about the suit’s fail-safe mode. But that would, with a certainty, lead to more yelling from his Sir and so he said nothing. But [Harry] looked so downcast as he sipped his drink that the Dorarizin figured he should at least try to cheer him up.

“{It is possible there’s a fault in the suit’s alarm system. Rest assured I shall have it thoroughly checked. I shall also convey the appropriate apologies to the Princess. Apart from that, erm, unfortunate incident I trust Sir enjoyed himself?}”

[Harry] let out a dark chuckle. “[Apart from that, how did you enjoy the play [?error, possible reference to a historical figure?error]?]” He turned with a sigh to regard Driver. “[Let’s get out of here.]” Driver nodded, and the liquid in [Harry’s] tumbler rocked ever so slightly as the shuttle took off.

The tiny-chomper took a bigger sip of his drink. “[AAAaanyways, just as we expected it turns out our Princess is quite the randy little thing.]”

“{So she propositioned Sir?}”

“[Ooooh yeah. She somehow thinks I’m just the right person to, um, satisfy her appetites.]” He sipped again. “[I should qualify that, she thinks [humans] are right for her. [Mrg-Znrnah] claimed to also be interested in me as a person, but who knows?]”

Jevnar relaxed as the feared verbal thrashing from his Sir failed to materialize. [Harry’s] information also made him wonder if the Princess’s definitely training in [tiny-chomper] interaction was the result of her desire to bed one of them.

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Driver exists in one of two modes, Going and Not Going. His entire goal in life is to be in the former mode at all times and never in the latter. Currently Driver is Not Going, which puts him in his usual state of low-key peevishness which can only be sated by Going.

He stares out the front viewscreen from his pilot’s chair. His position and the view of the starfield outside creates enough of an illusion of Going to keep his aforementioned peevishness from becoming full-blown Restlessness. This is important because if Driver gets too Restless, he will start walking around the ship. One might think that walking around would be enough Going to satisfy Driver, and one would be very wrong. A walking Driver is not truly Going, he is merely searching to look for things to make him Go Better. A searching Driver will inevitably find a thing to make him Go Better, and then there will be Excitement.

Driver feels the illusion of Going start to lose its hold on him. Walking around is starting to sound more appealing. Before the inevitable Excitement can ensue, the bridge elevator slides open and Employer enters. Driver likes Employer…well, as much as Driver can be said to like anyone. Employer does not try to get Driver to say something. This is in contrast to most people who think that Driver is just shy. The truth is that Driver thinks that talking is just a pointless filling up of time that could be much better spent Going.

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Plus Employer let him drive a big thing that Goes the Bestest, even More Bestest than light. Employer also promised lots of opportunities for Going in lots of different ways. Therefore Driver tolerates Employer’s presence more than most.

“Evening, Driver!” Employer says with his usual cheer. “I just noticed something.”

From behind his perfectly tinted visor Driver gives Employer Stare Number One, which is his You may proceed with this line of questioning stare. Fortunately, Employer has improved in deciphering his stares.

“I noticed you never put yourself in the rotation to go visit the Falls. We’re only here another few days. Once the crew’s all visited them our permits won’t allow us to stay for much longer.”

The unspoken question lingers in the air, and Driver’s stare shifts into Stare Number Six, which is his What is your point? stare.

“I mean, people come from all over the galaxy to see them. It’s a once-in-a-lifetime chance.”

The words coming out of Employer’s mouth contain nothing that indicates any opportunity for Going. Driver waits for him to start saying something interesting, namely something about Going.

Employer sighs. “Are you sure you don’t want to go?”

Driver again waits for something of importance to be said, his stare now set to Number Eight which is his Why should I? stare.

“Okay, just wanted to make sure you had the opportunity.”

Driver turns away, signaling that the one-sided conversation is over.

The elevator door slides open again and the much larger figure of Butler lopes onto the bridge. Driver also quote-unquote likes Butler, perhaps not as much as Driver quote-unquote likes Employer but still Driver will not completely ignore Butler. This is because Butler leaves Driver alone and never, ever tries to engage him in conversation.

“[I have conveyed our apologies to the princess,]” Butler says. “[She was very gracious in her acceptance of such. As a matter of fact, she apologized for losing her composure and moving too fast around Sir.]”

“So that’s it?” asks Employer. “We don’t have to do our date over again, right?”

“[She did not press for one. This appears to be an end to the whole affair.]”

Driver is glad to hear this, because that means that Employer is not in danger of getting broken in two by Horny’s enthusiasm. That in turn means that Driver gets to continue to drive the big thing that Goes the Bestest.

Employer visibly relaxes. “All right then. Another week and we’ll be on our way.”

The illusion of Going is now totally wrecked. Driver stands and heads for the elevator with a particular stomping gait that indicates he is now Restless. Employer has also come to decipher Driver’s different walking patterns, and realizes the danger.

“Oh…hey Driver, Ricky has finished his final tweaks on Thunderbird Three. Head over to Bay Thirteen and check her out, okay?”

Driver stops, turns, nods once, and resumes his walking. But he is stomping less than before.

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R’iit’niltah fluffed out his ruby-red chest feathers in mild irritation. He regarded the white-clad little-needs-protecting before him, grumbled internally, and went through his explanation again.

“|I told you, it’s made to hover. It doesn’t need wheels. You’ve flown shuttlecraft, you know how they operate!|”

Driver again pointed at the fore and aft of the large craft, silently getting across his main dispute with [Thunderbird Three’s] design. The rest of the revamped vehicle was not the typical sleek scarab shape of a ground-to-orbit shuttle. It was more angular and aggressive-looking, clearly designed to punch through atmosphere with the maximum possible efficiency. Near the back a pair of small wings projected from its sides, and up top it wore a linear array of vertical fins.

The Karnakian tech regarded the head of the strange little-needs-protecting. To be fair, the small aliens were all strange but Driver was even more so. Most little-needs-protectings had an aura that could be best described as an explosion of stars. Driver’s aura was…not like that. His aura reminded R’iit’niltah of the black hole at Nranath-Six. Its inner light pulsed and swirled in a steady, metronomic beat around a central core. R’iit’niltah was an unrepentant speed-head; indeed, it was the main reason he’d been hired for this job. He somehow knew that Driver’s singular focus was also in regards to his own obsession.

He decided that the best way to win over Driver was to appeal to that obsession. “|I tell you what, let’s get in and I’ll show you the changes to the controls, okay? Then we can go outside and you can test it for yourself.|”

Driver folded his arms, but after a bit he did nod.

With a surge of relief R’iit’niltah turned towards [Thunderbird Three], his implant sending the silent command to open up. Instead of the side sliding open as in a standard shuttle the entire front of the craft split along the middle, then hinged up and out.

“|The manual controls for opening are here,|” he added, pointing at a touchpad which was inset further back along the shuttle’s flank. “|Just enter your code and it’ll let you in.|”

R’iit’niltah clambered up and into the pilot’s chair. Thanks to memory-metal technology the shuttle could set its seats to accommodate any of the races, even the little-needs-protectings. To the Karnakian’s delight Driver’s co-pilot seat was set up and forward so that he could also watch out of the front just as R’iit’niltah could. Driver managed to get himself situated upon the propped-up copilot position without any trouble.

The Karnakian issued another mental command, and the front of Thunderbird Three swung back up and closed leaving the pair in an enclosed cocoon. R’iit’niltah began to recite with some glee the changes he’d wrought upon this vehicle.

“|So she’s sporting ten cold-fusion generators instead of the normal five. The power effects on velocity amp up faster than linear, so this [baby] has not just two times the standard available speed but five times the speed. That’s why I added in the extra aerodynamic surfaces. Otherwise she’d get pretty [squirrelly] under full power, at least if you’re in atmosphere. I’ve also added in air brakes to help in slowing down…again, if you’re in atmosphere. They won’t do you any good in vacuum.|”

Driver regarded the displays before him, still with folded arms. But from the faster pulsing of his aura R’iit’niltah knew the little-needs-protecting was intrigued.

“|The manual controls work the same as a standard shuttle.|” R’iit’niltah reached forward and grasped the manual joysticks at either side of his display. The shuttle lurched a little into the air in response. “|If you’re in atmosphere, however, you want to activate this control here.|” He indicated a large green ‘button’ in the center of his own display. “|That will activate the atmospheric control algorithm. The air brakes and control surfaces will then be tied into the overall system and activate as necessary. Full-power will be set to be that of a standard shuttle, unless you press this.|”

At this point R’iit’niltah pointed a clawed finger at another big and very bright red ‘button’ next to the big ‘green button’ for atmospheric mode. “|This will engage all of [Thunderbird Three’s] reactors, giving you full power.|”

Driver regarded the Big Red Button with an almost sexual intensity.

R’iit’niltah let out a long-suffering trilling sigh. “|Just…just wait until we’re outside the ship before you press it, please?|”

After a pause Driver nodded.

“|Thunderbird One, this is Thunderbird Three. Requesting permission for EVA and test flight.|”

The ship’s synthesized voice spoke with her usual crisp aplomb. “[You are cleared for flight. Hangar Thirteen is locked, now depressurizing.]” A faint hissing could now be heard through Thunderbird Three’s hull, one that faded away rapidly into utter silence.

R’iit’niltah turned to Driver. “|I’ll take her out.|” Driver shrugged, which the Karnakian took to mean go right ahead. He took his controls in his clawed hands. With a faint whine of impellers the modified shuttle lifted off of the deck and moved towards the hangar’s exit. The giant outer doors slid open and R’iit’niltah managed to get the shuttle to emerge in the direct center of the revealed portal.

Thunderbird Three now floated above the giant expanse of red-painted metal which was its mothership’s flank. R’iit’niltah turned to Driver. “|Your ship.|”

The little-needs-protecting nodded and reached for his own control panel. R’iit’niltah half-expected Driver to simply mash on the power, but instead he flew rather sedately for a few minutes as he figured out the different nuances of this revamped vehicle. After a while, however, he pointed at the jolly candy-like button on his console and looked at R’iit’niltah with a clear unspoken question.

R’iit’niltah gripped his armrests. “|Go ahead. Just ramp it up slowly, I haven’t tested it at full power.|”

To R’iit’niltah’s surprise Driver followed his instructions. He ran the shuttle up to seventy-five percent full power, then eighty.

Then, just as the technician was starting to relax and think that this would be a normal test flight, Driver gave a nod as he silently came to a conclusion. Before R’iit’niltah could let out a peep of protest, Driver twisted the controls to full power.

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R’iit’niltah sat at the cafeteria table with a mug of tea clenched in his trembling claws. He breathed deeply, trying to remember the mantras instilled in him as a fledgling; those which were designed to bring peace and calm to a troubled mind.

One of the engineering crew, a muted-brown Jornissian named Nnnanahrahn, coiled herself up next to him. She held a mug of tea of her own as she chirped out a greeting that showed she was clearly oblivious to the Karnakian’s inner turmoil.

“[Afternoon, [R’iit’niltah]! You were taking the modified shuttle out today, yes?]”

He shuddered. “|Yes.|”

Through no fault of her own she didn’t pick up on R’iit’niltah’s distress. “[How did it go?]”

“|We made it back.|”

The flat declaration made Nnnanahrahn pause and look more closely at her shipmate. “[Are you okay?]”

“|I will be.|” R’iit’niltah took a few more deep, calming breaths. “|You see, he was the co-pilot and I let him take it up to full power.|”

Nnnanahrahn’s hood twitched to the side in puzzlement. “[He? Oh, you mean…him?]”

“|Yes, him. I just don’t get his whole…deal. Does that term translate?|”

The Jornissian took a sip of her tea. “[It does. I hear things about him, you know. The whole crew is trying to figure him out.]”

“|There’s a lot of rumors about him. I hear he’s got eyes that are ever so slightly too far apart.”

“[I heard he’s seduced a member of every race in the Senate.]”

R’iit’niltah swallowed a healthy gulp of his own tea and felt his nerves settle. “|If that last one is true, then that brings up a very important question.|”

“[Which is?]”

His crest rose up in a smile as he delivered the punchline. “|Does Driver’s helmet come off when he does the deed?|”

Nnnanahrahn gave a groan of mock disappointment and slapped a hand over her face. R’iit’niltah trilled a laugh and fluffed out further into a Karnakian smugball.