Via a very extensive bit of persuasive verbal wrangling on Harry’s part, Driver had at long last acquiesced to do something other than Going; he silently agreed to meet the Bishop. For his part, Ti’h’’nna’’’til showed the human the utmost respect by meeting Driver in person at the entrance to the cathedral.
The jump-suited human had remained silent with folded arms during the entire Speaking, not so much as bobbing his head along to the beat of the song. What happened next was the subject of much on-board gossip for a long time afterward. The most popular story was that the Bishop and Driver had entered the former’s quarters, after which the most epic staring contest in galactic history then commenced. The contest only ended when the Bishop finally had his fill of viewing Driver’s aura and gave the human a deep bow of respect.
That was the tamer story; the less-tame version held that, after only a few seconds of regarding Driver’s aura, the Bishop had spun and hobbled from the room in mortal terror.
Either way, Driver wasn’t saying anything (as usual) and the Bishop didn’t give any clarification either. Harry figured that he’d just let the matter drop; the Bishop had asked for the opportunity to interview Driver, and Harry had done what he could to make that come to pass. Beyond that meeting, any follow-on result was something that was between the two of them. Harry certainly didn’t want to get involved.
During the course of the next three weeks the rest of the crew of the Thunderbird One rotated in groups through the cathedral, each managing to catch the next round of Congretory Speaking. No matter what the species, every returning crewmember bore an expression of awe, as if they’d seen something wonderful that they couldn’t quite put into words.
Harry also heard whispers that a few of the Karnakian crewmembers were seriously pondering defecting to the Ninety-Eighth Path, such was the power of hearing so much Speaking in one place. The last thing Harry wanted was to be the proximal cause of some sort of heretical movement, and so he ‘casually’ tracked down each Karnakian member of the crew after they’d gone through the experience and ‘casually’ asked them what they thought of it. Most of the raptors gave vague statements along the lines of “[It was amazing!]” and didn’t offer up any more detailed information no matter how much the human pressed. Not even the ultimate human power of headpats worked.
Harry did manage to buttonhole his chief medical officer after the Karnakian also went through the experience. He knew when Tr’tnan’til was coming back aboard, and so was able to ambush the Karnakian in the turbolift coming ‘up’ from the shuttle hangar. The alien’s four-eyed gaze was reluctant to look towards her boss, which was unusual for the big yellow-and-blue raptor.
“[How can I help you, s…[Harry]?]”
“I just wanted to get another opinion on the Speaking. I found it a very uplifting experience and I wanted to get a Karnakian perspective on it.”
Now Tr’tnan’til did look at him while sporting a wry grin. “[And you also wanted to make sure I wasn’t planning on leaving the Seven Rings, eh?]”
Harry laughed. Karnakians might be enthusiastic beyond all reason, but that did not mean they were stupid. “You found me out, Twiggy. If I understand correctly, your faith believes in reincarnation rather than the Great Spirit…” He trailed off as Tr’tnan’til cocked her head with a sudden and very intent look in her four eyes. “Or am I completely wrong, as usual?”
Tr’tnan’til straightened up. “[[Teebee], please take us to the observation lounge,]” she called out towards the elevator’s control panel.
“Acknowledged,” replied the smooth synthetic voice of Thunderbird One. The turbolift slowed and then began to move in a new direction.
The alien’s sudden determination made Harry back away a bit from Tr’tnan’til. “Did I mess up and say something really offensive? I didn’t mean to…”
Tr’tnan’til’s crest rose in good humor. “[It’s quite alright, [Harry]. I wanted to explain things and I figured that the lounge would be a nicer venue than this cramped elevator.]”
“Oh.”
Outside of the lounge’s huge window stretched the blue-and white marbled sphere of K’iltnah-Six. Tr’tnan’til trotted towards the transparency and gazed for a moment at the planet which slowly turned beneath the ship. Harry almost broke the silence with a question, then decided to let his doctor ruminate until she was ready.
After a few moments the Karnakian turned to regard Harry. “[The Seven Rings do believe in the Great Spirit as well. Where our faiths diverge is in the method by which we achieve our final communion with it. I understand that you spoke with the Bishop.]”
“Yes, I did. It was a little unsettling. The Bishop was...I hate to put it this way, but he was ready for death. He believed that, after he passed, he was going to merge with the Great Spirit, or words to that effect.”
Tr’tnan’til nodded her crest. “[As befits his faith. You see, many of the Sacred Paths believe that we only have one opportunity at life before judgement by the Great Spirit. The various faiths differ on how to live the best life so that we can achieve approval after that judgement, but the core tenet is the same for almost all of them.]”
Harry leaned up against the giant window. “From what I’ve heard, the Seven Rings believe in cycles of reincarnation.”
“[That’s correct. We believe that the Great Spirit is not so cruel as to deny eternity to someone whom, perhaps due to mere circumstance, didn’t follow the ‘correct’ path. Therefore if one is judged and found wanting, they’re sent back into the world to try again.]”
“To give them another bite at the apple, eh? We have a faith on Earth with a similar belief, it’s called Buddhism.”
Her crest rose in excitement. “[Yes, so I’ve heard! It’s fascinating. There is a famous set of dialogues recorded between one of the Seven Ring’s Chief Speakers and a [human] religious figure called the…[Dali Lama]? I think I said that right. Those dialogues took place shortly after…]” Her enthusiasm waned a bit and her claws fidgeted together, and she didn’t speak for a bit.
“Twiggy? What’s wrong?”
“[Well, that meeting was soon after we’d first, ah, contacted your species.]”
“Ah, got it. Don’t worry, Twiggy. Speaking for myself, I don’t hold a grudge. All of that was a long time ago.”
His comforting words perked her up again. “[But I still haven’t answered your initial question. Seeing that Speaking was almost like…have you ever taken a long [road trip]?]”
Harry laughed. “I grew up in an island country, so we couldn’t drive too far. But about once a year my family went to a seaside resort town called Blackpool.”
“[And, of course, your family chose a particular route to get there.]”
Harry nodded, remembering one year when his father had added in a detour to visit Stonehenge. They couldn’t get next to the monoliths, of course, but seeing that ancient structure was still one of his most cherished memories.
Tr’tnan’til raised a clawed finger. “[Now imagine you meet a friend in [Blackpool]. They have made the same trip, but they used a different route. And when you meet them at your destination they start gushing about how wonderful the experience was, how many interesting sights they saw.]”
The penny dropped for Harry. “Ah, so listening to another Path’s Speaking is like that?”
“[A little. Kant’nat might have a different take, since his Path is closer in doctrine to the Ninety-Eighth.]”
Before Harry could respond he heard a soft bong in his earpiece, followed by Kant’nat’s voice. “[Sorry to intrude, Harry, but the Bishop is calling for you. I’ll patch it through to your quarters.]”
The puzzled human made his goodbyes to Tr’tnan’til and headed out of the lounge.
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The Bishop’s be-fanged muzzle stared out of the screen of Harry’s terminal. The latter was a ‘gift’ from the humans’ Office of Interstellar Harmony, a gift which could not be turned down if one ever wanted to set so much as one toe off of Earth.
After a few weeks of being one of only two humans stuck amidst giant apex-predator aliens, Harry started to suffer from bouts of ever-rising tension. Thus he’d gone and used the memes as instructed. While he didn’t trust the OIH further than he could throw them, Harry did have to admit that seeing lots of silly images about his fellow crewmembers eased his anxiety back down to normal. While such images fell well into the range of cultural insensitivity, they did also serve their primary purpose of keeping him sane.
The problem with the memes was that at the moment he was picturing the aged and most reverend Ti’h’’nna’’’til perched on a branch. In his mind’s eye the Bishop was looking at a leaf and asking ‘Wasn’t this green before?’ just as one of his nearby underlings launched into a rant about how they wanted a big-tiddy goth girlfriend.
Harry carefully kept any resulting smile off of his face. “Hello, sir! How are you feeling today?”
The Karnakian shrugged his feathered arms. “[A [million] little aches and pains, accumulating every day. I wished to personally thank you for convincing Driver to visit me. It was most illuminating.]”
“I’m glad for that.” Harry wanted to find out what had transpired in the worst way, but didn’t dare ask.
Ti’h’’nna’’’til raised a finger and waggled it playfully. “[And you wish to know what I saw, eh?]”
“You found me out. Hey, you can’t blame me for being curious.”
The Bishop stroked alongside his crest with that same clawed finger. “[What I saw was the potential that [humans] have in this galaxy. I have to admit, it is a potential that disquiets me.]”
Harry blinked in surprise. “Really? Do you think we’ll be some kind of threat to the other Senate races?” That seemed ridiculous. Even though humanity’s current technological baseline would have been considered magical a few centuries ago, the rest of the Senate still had many thousands of years of a head-start. Not to mention that the very idea of any large-scale war was rendered moot when one had a galaxy’s worth of resources to work with.
Ti’h’’nna’’’til’s crest fluttered nervously. “[I don’t mean that you are a threat, more that [humans] could be destabilizing. Are you familiar with the teachings…well, I would classify them more as ravings…of the rogue known as [Ter’yeik]?]”
“Never heard of him.”
The Bishop sighed. “As I expected. My understanding is that the [human] government strictly censors any mention of his name. He was a former member of the Thirty-Third Sacred Path, and many years ago was key in causing some, shall we say, unpleasantness with the Thirty-Fourth Path. Two [humans] were also involved in the whole affair, one which resulted in the formation of the Most Sacred Unified Path of the Great Spirit . [Ter'yeik] suffered some sort of mental breakdown towards the end of the matter and was sent to a sanitorium to rest and recuperate. Unfortunately, [Ter’yeik] never recovered from his madness and escaped after feigning a modest recovery. He is still at large and manages to anonymously publish his writings. His rantings have had, I fear, some influence among the more unbalanced Karnakians.]”
Unauthorized use: this story is on Amazon without permission from the author. Report any sightings.
“I’m sure you know that we humans have our share of religious fanatics as well. But what does he have to do with all this?]”
“[[Ter’yeik] was convinced that [humans] posed an existential threat to galactic peace.]”
The Bishop’s incredible last statement made Harry let forth a snort. That snorting turned into a long, uncontrollable bout of laughter which lasted for quite a while. When he got himself back under control, Harry wiped a tear away from one eye. “Oh, that’s bloody brilliant, that is. What did Teriyaki claim, that we humans were all going to headpat you lot into oblivion?”
The aged Karnakian was nowhere near as amused as Harry. “[He claimed that [humans] could reshape reality itself, and that if you ever truly harnessed that power then everyone was in mortal danger, including yourselves.]”
“Duly noted, I’ll keep my reality-bending to a minimum from now on.” Harry peered into the screen at the Bishop’s somber face, and his smile faded. “Wait. Do you really believe him?”
“[No, but after meeting with Driver…]” and the Bishop paused as he chose his next words very carefully. “[…after meeting him, I no longer believe that [Ter’yeik] is entirely insane.]”
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Thunderbird One departed K’iltnah system seven standard days later. The next stop would take over a month to reach, and that time passed in a whirl of pleasant activity. Jevnar had to admit that his Sir was something of an unexpected savant when it came to both motivating and directing people. True, some of that ability was due to Sir’s innate cuteness but much of it was thanks to the human’s competence.
What wasn’t as pleasant was his Sir’s overall demeanor. The tiny-chomper had received a call from the Bishop near the end of their stay at K’iltnah, and ever since then he’d been more somber. [Harry] wasn’t moping around like an adolescent pup going through some big-maned night-rage phase, but the human had for certain lost some of his eternal optimism. Jevnar missed Optimistic [Harry], although the Dorarizin’s own mild distress at the change never showed through his professional demeanor.
After twenty days of this, however, Jevnar decided to take the unprecedented step of actually talking to his employer. The opportunity presented itself when during a time when both he and [Harry] were in the middle of a pleasant ‘swim’ through what the crew had dubbed ‘[Harry’s] Ball-Pit’. Jevnar was sure there was some sort of double-entendre in there, but he wasn’t about to dig deeper.
Jevnar ‘surfaced’ with multicolored beads streaming off of his head and down his mane. [Harry] bobbed face-up nearby with a calm set to his features. “{How did Sir find the Speaking? Was it all you hoped for?}”
“[It was amazing, and I’m glad I was there to witness it. But my bet is you’re really asking to find out why I’ve been walking around in a [funk] since we left.]”
“{I see I’ve been found out. Although I must admit I’m not sure exactly what a [funk] is.}”
[Harry] rolled over onto his stomach and shrugged. “[I’m feeling off? A bit down? Something like that. Anyway, the reason is because of something the Bishop said to me.]”
Jevnar felt a bit of rage flare in his stomach. If that feathered git had gone and chastised his Sir for not following the Karnakian’s faith, then he was going to charter a flight back to that cathedral and throttle the aged birdbrain himself. “{Did he try to convert Sir to his Path?}”
“[Nah, nothing like that. But he did mention something that I’ve been mulling over ever since.]” [Harry] looked up and met Jevnar’s eyes. “[I have a serious question, [Jevnar], and I’d like a serious answer. Do you think we’re a threat?]”
“{Does Sir mean we on board this ship?}”
“[No, I mean [tiny-chompers] in general.]”
At any other time, Jevnar would have dismissed the very notion as utter rubbish. True, tiny-chompers could be unusually enthusiastic, and many of them seemed to view dangers to their person as mere inconveniences. But truly dangerous? Perhaps only to themselves. But [Harry] appeared to be truly upset, and so Jevnar gave the matter some careful thought.
“{I want to give you an honest answer, and thus I need to understand your question better. Are you speaking of a possibility that either the tiny-chomper government or some splinter faction would start a fight with the Senate?}”
“[I’m not talking about any sort of standard armed conflict. You know that we’d get flattened in that case. You guys have too big of a head start. And our government certainly knows that. We do have some bloody idiots spouting off about how “The aliens have bad intentions towards [tiny-chompers] and they’re using us for horrible experiments”, but they’re a tiny minority. No bloody way they could ever cause a problem.]”
“{Then what is your concern?}”
[Harry] rolled around onto his back again and stared at the ceiling far above. “[The Bishop suggested that [tiny-chompers] have some advantages over the other Senate species. Advantages which could get out of hand and make us dangerous.]”
“{I don’t understand. Forgive me for being direct, Sir, but you well know that your species has an innate cuteness which you have exploited…}”
[Harry] opened his mouth to protest, but stopped at a raised claw from Jevnar.
“{I’m not accusing Sir of anything nefarious. If I may paraphrase a statement regarding a tiny-chomper fictional character, you’ve used your great power with great responsibility. But even if Sir was inclined to villainy, unlikely as that is, being cute only gets one so far. Certainly not into the range of anything I’d classify as ‘dangerous’.}”
His words didn’t mollify [Harry]. “[What if we could do more than just be cute?]”
“{Hmm, tiny-chompers are better at maintenance and repair in certain situations due to their smaller size…}”
“[No, I mean what if we had an extra power? One that even we weren’t aware of?]”
Jevnar raised his head off of the beads and looked in surprise at [Harry]. “{Why would the Bishop think such a thing?}”
“[He told me about some [Karnakian] who went insane and got it into their head that we’re capable of bending reality to our will. The Bishop didn’t believe it…not exactly…but ever since I spoke to him it’s been bugging me.]”
The human started back in surprise as Jevnar leaned back in the beads and began laughing. A Dorarizin belly laugh sounds a bit like a hacksaw biting through bone, and so conversation in the nearby ‘normal’ pool ground to a halt until Jevnar fell silent.
“[I sense I’ve once again put my foot in it…somehow,]” said [Harry] once his butler was done.
“{Not in the slightest, Sir. But there are portions of galactic history which Sir might not be aware of only due to the fact they happened such a long time ago. Specifically, the two other times when the [Karnakians] met a sapient species.}”
“[Ah. I’m assuming those went more smoothly than it did with us, eh?]” The tiny-chomper’s sarcastic grin showed that he was getting his mojo back, and Jevnar’s heart lifted at the sight.
“{Sir puts it very mildly. After all, both we and the [Jornissians] had mastered interstellar travel by that point. The Karnakians encountered us Dorarizin first around…[fifty thousand years] ago, if memory serves. Then we both ran into the [Jornissians] about [five thousands years] after that. Heh…and we literally ‘ran into’ them. One of their long-range manned probes had an on-board accident and went out of control. They nearly collided with a joint [Karnakian]-Dorarizin exploration fleet; fortunately, we were able to save both their ship and the crew onboard.}”
[Harry] ‘bobbed’ as best he could in the sea of beads. “[So after each meeting, did a [Karnakian] or two go nuts?]”
“{Indeed, Sir. Both times, a few [Karnakians] started either a splinter-group of an existing faith or invented a whole new dogma from scratch. For example, after contacting the [Jornissians] a few of them decided to embrace a tenet of extreme individuality…to an even greater extent than the [Jornissians] themselves exhibit. Of course, such a sect could not hope to hold together for even a few years, for obvious reasons.}”
“[I see. So that [Ter’yeik] character is just doing what the [space-turkeys] do.]”
“{Exactly.}”
“[Well now I feel silly for taking all that nonsense so seriously. Thanks, [Jevnar]. I feel much better.]”
“{I am very delighted to hear that, Sir.}”
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Their next stop was the Echoing Ice Caves of Znrnah-Two. Within those incredibly mammoth blue-white expanses, one could hear the faintest of whispers in a frozen cavern many kilometers distant. The crew had to bundle into specially-designed heated suits to be able to visit them without freezing to death. Jevnar found himself torn because of that fact. While it was a certainty that his Sir looked like just the most adorable swaddled-up pup, oh yes he was just the cutest ‘lil thing evaarr while waddling around in his oversized puffy garments, Jevnar also berated himself for infantilizing someone who was, at the end of the day, a sapient adult well worthy of respect.
Plus that aforementioned adult was also his employer, with all of the odd power dynamics which that implied. Jevnar was supposed to be subservient to Sir, and yet while at Znrnah-Two he’d never felt more like someone in charge of a toddler. None of that internal conflict showed in Jevnar’s outward demeanor, of course.
After that experience, their traveling roadshow (of which [Harry Lawson] was the enthusiastic ringleader) paid a visit to the much-fabled Rings of Whgarn-Five. The spectacle of the Rings could not hope to last beyond the next ten thousand years; two separate and perpendicular ring systems existing around a blue-and-red marble of a gas giant? Tidal forces, along with so many other tedious bits of orbital mechanics, spelled doom for such a system in the long term. But for the moment, it was a wonderful and lovely vista which gave some healthy competition to the massive black hole they’d viewed at Nranath-Six.
And, for once, the crew didn’t have to visit a planet to appreciate the Rings’ vista. Thus Jevnar halved his time in between administering the day-to-day operations on board Thunderbird One and spending the rest of his waking moments with his Sir in the ship’s almost decadently huge observation lounge.
In the many years to come, Jevnar began to realize just how much he treasured these particular memories above all of the others he’d obtained whilst in [Harry’s] service. Just the two of them, sitting side-by-side and munching on snacks while they viewed the celestial majesty beyond the window.
The little alien, somehow, managed to munch his way through many more snacks than Jevnar. The Dorarizin wondered if such a gustatory display was due to some tiny-chomper trend towards excess, but at the end of the day he figured it had to be more because of some entrained instinct passed down from [Harry’s] ancestors.
Of course, that particular instinct was one that Jevnar didn’t want to dwell on for any real length of time. He had the uneasy feeling that such ingestion was due to the rather…unfortunate circumstances following the tiny-chompers’ disastrous First Contact. Their global infrastructure had been all but annihilated by accident, and in spite of massive efforts on the Karnakians’ part there must have been many years of privation afterwards. That couldn’t help but have an effect on subsequent generations.
On a more pleasant subject, Jevnar had to admit that his Sir had been right to install a true transparent window. It formed a bit of a structural weakness in the ship, but the inspiration which it created was well worth it. One could see a particular vista on a viewscreen, but here Jevnar was seeing the actual photons which bounced off of the little lumps of errant ice which constituted Whgarn-Five’s rings.
“{I envy you, Sir,}” he said, close to the end of their time in the Whgarn system. The pair sat in the middle of a large grouping of the off-duty crew. Everyone sat with rapt devotion to the spectacle outside, and most everyone had some kind of species-specific snack at hand.
[Harry] seemed genuinely surprised at his butler’s declaration. “[Really?]”
“{Why wouldn’t I? You’ll be able to replay this memory whenever you wish. I know you’ll also distribute the recordings to all and sundry free of charge, but no-one else will be able to perfectly feel as if they’re here again…except you.”
The tiny-chomper sighed. “[I suppose you’re right. But look at it this way. This experience also includes my memories of you, right?]”
“{I suppose it does.}”
“[And these recordings will last pretty much forever, well beyond the time when both you and I have passed on.]”
Jevnar shivered a bit when he heard that. He didn’t like to dwell on his mortality, let alone ponder just how short [Harry’s] life was in comparison to his own.
[Harry] reached over and placed a comforting hand onto Jevnar’s much bigger paw. “[Easy, big guy. What I’m trying to say is that…generations to come will have this experience of me sitting here with you. They’ll experience you. So in a way you’ll live on forever, just as I will.]”
The Dorarizin had to sit for a few minutes in silence while he processed the bombshell which his Sir’s words had just exploded in his brain. “{I..I see what you mean, Sir. Thank you.}”
[Harry], for his part, didn’t seem to think he’d said anything particularly profound. “[I’m always glad to help.]”
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The tan-and-white sphere of Gnranth-Eight spun in the bridge’s viewscreen. The white part consisted of patches which lay strewn about the planet’s equator, a position which indicated that their color was not because they were formed of ice.
No, those white areas were the biggest salt flats in the known galaxy. Salt flats which were, every five years, the locus for every speed-head in Senate space. In five days’ time, this usually-sleepy backwater was going to be Big Frickin’ News in the galaxy at large. The speed trials were, of course, very famous for their opportunity to see people of various shapes and sizes try to injure themselves in spectacular fashion.
But then there were also the races of Gnranth-Eight; many different races, each of which involved a different type of vehicle.
Harry noted that Driver was practically vibrating out of his seat as the latter human regarded the planetary vista. He made a discreet call to his legal team before standing up from his command chair and approaching the pilot’s position.
He patted Driver on the shoulder. “I just checked with Jerry. We’re in, or rather you’re in. Plus Jerry heard from Madsen, and he’ll be there too.”
Driver shot to his feet, his normally aloof demeanor now completely gone. He sprinted for the turbolift, nearly knocking over Harry in the process.