Miss. Hawaii strode into the spotlight, back straight and eyes raised to meet the uppermost cameras. As she took the microphone and lifted it to her lips, the producers felt a slight flicker of hope.

----------------------------------------

Once there lived a fearsome lion pride, ruled by the proud King Ezekiel. His brides Susannah and Sarah groomed his windswept mane and oversaw his hunts, while his followers Elijah, Naomi, Rebecca-Ruth, and Peter earned their keeps by scourging the savanna for meat under the strict surveillance of the lionesses.

When the four followers dragged their unfortunate victims back to their king, the lionesses would carefully divide the carcasses between the seven. To Ezekiel would go the lean meat of the thighs and hindlimbs and the head to mount above his royal bed, while to Susannah would go the rich rump and to Sarah would go the thin sheets of meat and fat coating the torso. As for the followers, they would be left the scraps, thrown by Sarah into the followers' shared den.

Unbeknownst to Ezekiel and his queens, the followers would not fight over the scraps like kittens over a catnip toy. Rather, they had their own system of division. Old Elijah would claim the warm pelt, while sweet Naomi would take the organs to nibble on. Rebecca-Ruth would crack the bones and drink the rich marrow, and Peter would content himself with the gristle. As such, life continued peacefully for some time.

But good things can't last forever, and it eventually became apparent that sweet Naomi was with cub. Old Elijah and amicable Peter both swore to the high heavens that they had not sired her baby, but any other option was unthinkable. And so the three other followers turned a blind eye to Naomi's bashful looks at King Ezekiel and focused on the problem at hand.

"The organs aren't enough for my growing cub," Naomi said with shame in her eyes, a paw around her rotund belly. "Every night I lay awake, shivering from the cold seeping through my thin pelt and nursing a rumbling stomach. Could I please have a shred of your fur, Elijah, or a lick of your marrow, Rebecca?

Rebecca-Ruth grumbled, "We did not choose to mother cubs we could not carry on our own, Naomi. Your poor choices should not be our burden to bear."

"Now, now," old Elijah meowed, "I wouldn't be trotting upon this earth if my own mother hasn't foolishly sired me. You may have a shred of my furs, Naomi."

"Oh thank you," she purred, rubbing her cheek against his. And so he imparted a few of his furs to her, and she slept a bit more soundly for a while.

But soon the weather turned chill, and old Elijah shivered so badly in the cold that he could not drag himself out of the den when the sun rose. "What's this?" crowed Susannah, surveying the three lions assembled before her on the savanna. "Without Elijah, we will be unable to feed the pride! Naomi, Rebecca-Ruth, Peter -- you'd better bring home the bounty of four lions, or else the whole pack will suffer."

And so Naomi leapt with the length of four lions and Rebecca-Ruth ran with the speed of four lions and Peter fought with the ferocity of four lions, and they brought home a satisfactory bounty for King Ezekiel. But the three were so exhausted that they collapsed at the foot of their den that night, and when they awoke, they took to squabbling.

"Elijah, you lazy oaf!" Rebecca-Ruth scolded. "As you napped on, we worked ourselves to the brink so no one would suffer your absence!"

"The least you can do is give us your furs, if you plan to spend your days lounging in the warm midmorning sun," added Peter, uncharacteristically cross.

If you encounter this story on Amazon, note that it's taken without permission from the author. Report it.

Old Elijah shook his mangy head, slow and feeble. "It's not my fault," he protested. "Blame Naomi, if you must. She's the one that took my furs for her bastard cub."

"Hey now!" Naomi protested, backing into a corner. "I'll die without those furs!"

"Then give us your organs, so we may recoup some of the strength we're wasting on you," Peter said, his belly audibly rumbling. Naomi's stomach growled with hunger too, but she divided up her organs between the three and curled up in her corner to shiver the remaining hour away.

When it again came time to hunt, only two lions appeared under Susannah and Sarah's watchful eyes on the cold morning savanna. Poor old Elijah was curled into a ball in his den, shaking violently from the cold, and Naomi was wrecked with hunger pains so strong that she could barely walk.

But the pride needed feeding, and do the two lions hunted with the fever of a pride twice the size.

That night, Peter dragged himself into the den half blinded with rage. "Do you think I didn't want to nap, as I tore through half the savanna without a moment's rest?" he roared, shaking the day's organs in Naomi's direction and eating them in one gulp. "Do you think I didn't want to curl up in the sun, as I tore my claws to shreds trying to make up for your wasted time?" he screamed at Elijan, throwing the day's pelts into his own corner of the den, far from Elijah's shivering form. "Do you think I didn't want to laze the day away, as I pushed myself to the brink and beyond for you all?" he yowled, waving Rebecca-Ruth's bones above his head and lunging to devour them.

There was a flash of fur and a scream, and Peter stumbled across the den floor, bleeding steadily from a nasty gash on his head. Rebecca-Ruth licked blood from her claw, gathered her precious bones against her scrawny body, and growled. Peter did not, could not, do anything but collapse on his furs and nurse his wounds.

And so as the sun rose the next day, Susannah and Sarah stood on the savanna, awaiting their army. And yet only mangy Rebecca-Ruth plodded out of the den.

"Parasites," hissed Sarah. "Your comrades have abandoned you, Rebecca."

"Lazy little good-for-nothing," Susannah snarled. "Do your fellows think they're entitled to their scraps?"

Rebecca-Ruth, gaunt and exhausted to the bone, looked from one fat lioness to the other. Even one day of hunting for four would leave her as nothing more than a corpse rotting under the sun. "Yes," she said. "Yes, we do." And then she lay down in the sun and took a well-earned nap.

The lionesses looked at one another, and then they looked down at Rebecca-Ruth. They prodded her with their paws. "Rebecca?" they said. "What are you doing, Rebecca?"

But Rebecca-Ruth was too busy being a lazy good-for-nothing to respond.

"Bah! They'll come crawling back, tails between their legs," vowed Susannah, and the two returned to their king to share the horrid news. And he roared with rage and told his queens to gather their belongings; they'd find a new pride--a hardworking pride--out in the savanna, and leave the good-for-nothings to rot.

But it was not to be. Sarah was too round from years of snacking on fat to chase prey, and Susannah's claws had become too brittle from years of disuse to slay even the smallest of the plains-mice. And so Ezekiel cast his brides aside and lowered himself to all fours to hunt his own meal, but alas -- his slow pace sent his prey scattering like leaves in the wind, leaving him to return to his brides with nothing but the jeers of the antelopes ringing in his ears.

And so it was Ezekiel and his brides that returned to the cave with their tails between their legs, and it took mighty begging from all three for their followers to acquiesce to helping them become hunters as fearsome as the lions they'd once lorded over. And they caught a banquet fine enough to welcome Naomi's cub into the world, and enough left over for Elijah's retirement besides.

Sometimes, now, you'll see them tearing across the savanna -- Rebecca-Ruth and Sarah in the lead, Peter and Susannah in the rear, Naomi and Ezekiel in the middle with their cub swinging by the scruff of his neck from his mother's mouth. See how lean and strong Sarah and Susannah's have grown? See how well Rebecca-Ruth's gaunt body has filled out, and how luscious Peter's coat has become? Savor it, because you'll see few prides so successful on these savannas -- a healthy pride, and a happy pride, never again to bear the humiliation of being the pride which had to beg for scraps.

----------------------------------------

The auditorium filled with hesitant applause, and Miss. Hawaii was promptly disqualified for breaking the time limit.