Visibly shaking with excitement, Miss. Delaware speed-walked onto stage, eyes glowing with...adrenaline? Fear? Something more illegal? The producers had no time to wonder, because the moment Miss. Delaware had the mike in hand, she took a deep breath and recited in a feverish exhale:

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Once upon a time past and future and right this moment, a man is trying to deliver a letter. He races through meadows overcrowded with flowers and is chased by a band of angry ground hornets. He runs through icy deserts and bypasses the fairy queens coming out to worship to the dark of the year’s first new moon. He’s dashed half to bits against his ship’s scratched deck on the stormy seas off a long-forsaken island, and survives only by proposing to a mermaid spinster (whom he abandons the moment he's safely on dry land). He’s delayed a week in the coastal town of a treeless desert, where the kindhearted people take away his ship with which to build fires to warm their young. He slays a fearsome dragon to rescue the dragon’s kidnapped witch, with whom to seek advice on which of three forked paths to continue. He ends a dictators’ siege of a trans-arctic railway, making way for daring heroes to rescue the poor citizens of his frigid dystopia, and is declared the Liberator of the People. At last he reaches the castle, drops his letter at the foot of the queen and collapses, dead from exhaustion. He shall forever be remembered, as reads the gravestone the queen bestowed upon him in postmortem honor, as “A courier.”

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