Well, let's see if it's stewed long enough now...Oh hey! That looks prett-no, wait, that's just mold.
Anyway, it's been a bit huh? You've probably been wondering where I've gone, agonizing over my lack of content, drooling at the mere thought of me posting another chapter. Well here it i-you haven't? You forgot this story existed? You forgot I existed!?
Well there goes my self confidence I guess, you couldn't have even pretended could you? No, let's all be mean to [Placeholder] by telling the truth and stippidy step all over his feelings.
Whatever, doesn't matter, that's not why you're here anyway. No you're here for something different, something special, aren't you. Humph, very well, here it is...
...But what is there to write about? I've already done it all, haven't I? I did wuxia and all of its content (don't try and pretend there's anything more to those stories we all know it's not true), I did edgy edgelords and their lacking social skills, I did begging for scraps from my readers, I did romance and aids, I even explained why stories suddenly stop, whatever could there possibly be to write abo- *[Placeholder freezes and suddenly stares the reader directly in their exposed weenus* That's it! I know exactly what to write about!
It's time, dear reader, for us to speak of something that any socially competent person knows to fear discussing not only in public but also in private, as you never know who could be listening in. ([Placeholder] looks around nervously, completely missing FBI-chan watching from the rooftops) That's right reader, It's time to discuss...
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FANFICTION
Now I know what you're thinking, "Oh [Placeholder] you're so handsome and sexy" well stop that, this is serious business! You can think about that later. For now we must tread the dangerous and cringe world of fannius fictonius, the dreaded thieves of conceptual worlds and skirters of legality with their "go funding me's" and their "patrions" bah! Thieves the lot of them! Back in my day if someone copied your work you beat them with a stick and called them a stinky doodie head, but now we have all these stupid things like laws about assault and "being an adult", humph stupid I say.
What was I talking about? Fanfiction, right, well since you all are basically braindead what with all the lead and asbestos in your walls I'll make this simple. Fanfiction is pretty cringe dawg. Why is it cringe you ask? Well that's simple, it's because...It's cringe because...Why is fanfiction cringe again? It can't be because of the stories themselves, fanfiction is basically a compliment in the sense that they enjoyed your content so much that they wanted to continue it's existence, if in a different direction, so it's probably not that. It can't be because of the writers themselves because you're not supposed to make fun of the mentally disabled. What could it possibly be...Eureka! It's the shippers!
That's right folks, the reason fanfiction is cringe is because of all of those filthy shippers that can't accept that Bella and Jacob were obviously made for each other and that John snow and that one really short guy were definitely into each other and you can't prove otherwise!
Hmm? Not all fanfictions involve shipping? Oh...I see...Well in that case it mus-What did you just say?! I am not a shipper! Everything I say is completely objective and unbiased! Just because you're wrong doesn't mean you should try to take it out on me!
Oh now I see, I see how it is, you all don't care about me at all do you? I'm just some target for you to take your frustrations out on because you're wrong and can't just look at photoshoped pictures of the male Pink Ranger to get rid of your shame like a normal person!
Fine, if that's how it's gonna be, I'll show you, I'll show you all! You'll rue the day you claimed Edward was a better male lead than Jacob, RUE IT!