Novels2Search
The Epic Of Placeholder McGee
Chapter One...I Think

Chapter One...I Think

I walk up the path to the fighting platform I discovered while climbing a mountain to look down upon those inferior to me. Excited sweat pouring down my body from my pores that grow the liquid known as sweat so that it may pour down my body for no conceivable reason other than to make me wet. Luckily for me being wet is a great advantage in a fight as it ensures that the grabbing digits of my foes cannot find purchase upon my supple and nubile flesh, as well as protecting me from overheating via homeostasis.

Yes, I am indeed quite smart, no need to fall over yourselves to compliment me.

I arrive upon the platform to learn of who my newest foe shall be, dragging my eyes over his heavily tanned skin and vaguely muscular form for a few moments before he speaks. "Eww, what the fuck!"

I quickly pull my eye stalks back into my skull and blush in mild embarrassment. "My apologies fellow human I, Norma of the clan Lhuman, was merely excited to greet you in the perfectly normal ways of my small forest/mountain/desert village that is now abandoned due to monster attacks and thus unable to confirm or deny my existence or its customs."

The genuine version of this novel can be found on another site. Support the author by reading it there.

The man squints at me for an amount of time before accepting my perfectly rational and not at all suspicious answer. "Uh, okay? My name is Timmy and I'm sure you can guess what my clan is by my robes" He says proudly gesturing to the image on his robe thing.

"Um...White...Claw?" I guess.

He quickly begins looking around nervously before looking back at me. "Ah n-no it's Light Gray Claw, completely different and totally legally distinct."

"Ah, of course, how silly of me to have made such a simple mistake." I say, my face becoming hot in embarrassment.

"Nah it's fine, happens all the time really." He glances upon my soft, squishy form and my quickly heating head. "Hey uh, you feeling okay? Your face is looking kinda r-" is as far as he gets before he is completely incinerated by my completely human eye beams to ensure that he cannot tell of my shame.

"My apologies Timmy, but I cannot allow my perfect disguise to be uncovered" I say in apology as I leave the platform that in hindsight, based on the farming tools and plants, may have simply been a field intended for plant life that requires greater access to sunlight.

Hmm.