“That was it, it was that moment when I realized that I could never hold on to this hatred I had for her. No matter how bad the betrayal, it was no worse then the one I had committed, and I was forgiven. How could I not forgive her? I thought I had prepared my heart to be stone, but in that moment, it turned to flesh. God’s ways truly are way above our ways. That day so perfectly laid the foundation for what is happening today. Thank you God.”

-Alianna’s diary July, 17th

“Ali…”. Was all Alison said, but it was enough. A tear ran down Alianna’s cheek and almost at the same time one leaked out of Alison’s eye, as if all of everything they were feeling was collected in those single tears. Alianna closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and opened them. “Ali…I”. Her mind froze. She wanted to rage at her, yell, scream, let all of her hurt out on her, but she remembered what almost happened with Clara and how much God had forgiven her of and the battle between the two locked up her brain. Alison seemed to be facing a similar frozen brain. She tried to say something a couple of times, but nothing came out. Finally something made it out of her mouth. “Ali…I…I am very glad that your safe.” Alianna let out a breath she hadn’t known she was holding and took a step forward. “Thanks. I…I saw you at the hospital, I wanted to say something but there were so many people between us.” Alianna said. It wasn’t what she wanted to say, but all that she could get out. “It’s probably better that there were, I was a mess that night and not sure what would have happened if we had met like this then.” “Why…why were you a mess?” Alianna said, pressing forward into what she hoped was an opening. Alison looked at her for a long moment and then it was her turn to close her eyes and take a breath. “I…I had to know that it was true, that you were alive, that you weren’t gone.” “Why?” Said Alianna, as she took a step closer. Alison’s lip began to tremble, and she turned her head away from her. “I…I never wanted you gone, I…I…At that time, at the end of sixth grade, I couldn’t stand up to the pressure from my mom. Keri’s mom had told my mom that Keri wanted me to join the team and then she asked me to join the table and suddenly there was all this pressure coming to me from my mom.” There was something in her eyes when she mentioned the pressure from her mom that caught Alianna’s attention. She saw there a deep fear and even deeper pain. A chilling void, “…a closet. Oh Ali.”

“By the time my skin was thick enough to maybe stand up, I… well, I’m too far in now to get out.” Alianna shook her head. “No your not Ali, you can come back, leave the table, leave this awful game and come back….I forgive you Ali.” Alianna said with her voice braking, full of emotion and sincerity and her hand outstretched. Alison’s mouth dropped open and her hand began to open and move forward, butthen stopped and she shook her head. “You may forgive me, but Mon and Dad” she paused and took a deep breath and shook her head. “Your Mom and Dad most definitely do not, they do not forgive me, and I cannot blame them, and even if they did I couldn’t leave, you don’t just leave this game Ali, you don’t just leave the table. Meg is involved deeply with it now also and next year she will be Queen. If I leave, she’ll be exiled, and worse, I can’t do that to her. I’m sorry Ali, for everything I’ve done to you, but… but I can’t leave.” Tears started to freely fall from her eyes and she turned and began to walk away, but before she took a step Alianna reached out and grabbed her hand, and with a strength that startled Alison, Alianna pulled her back around to face her. Then she threw her arms around her and hugged her. Alison froze for a moment, but then she remembered how just inescapably heart warming Alianna’s hugs were. A glimmer of light showed in that void inside her. “I’m so sorry Ali.” She whispered unable to force her voice any decibel higher because of the emotion clogging it. “I forgive you Ali, please come back.” The unbelievable weight of this encounter became more than Alison could handle. “I…I have to go…”. She cried and squirmed free from Alianna and ran from the room toward the girls bathroom.

The sudden movement caught Alianna off guard and she lost her balance and would have hit the ground hard if two strong hands hadn't grabbed her. “I got you Ali, I’m here.” Jaius’s voice came from behind her. The floodgates of emotions that she had been holding back poured out of her as he sat down and he held her. She buried her face in his shoulder and lost track of what was coming out of her mouth. He took all of it, and didn’t let go, even though she vaguely remembered pounding her fists on his shoulder, he didn’t flinch.

Megan watched from the alcove between the two rows of lockers. She had waited just inside the stairwell for Ali to come back. When she was gone far longer than she should have been she went to check on her. When she saw her hugging someone and then saw who it was she ducked into the alcove. She gripped the side of the locker with such force she put a small dent in the wall of the locker. All her pent up anger flooding into her hands as she thought about Alianna trying to weasel her way back into their lives, trying to replace her as Ali’s sister again, She then saw Ali tear away from that hug and run toward the girls bathroom, her hand over her mouth and tears running down her face. As the door was shutting she ran across the hall from the alcove and snuck through before it shut. She heard ugly crying coming from one of the stalls. She went over and opened the door slowly. She saw Ali kneeling on the floor with her arms against the wall of the stall and her head in her arms and her shoulders shaking. Megan wanted to yell at her, scream her rage at her for even considering letting that impostor back in, but as she stood there listening to her sister’s heart wrenching cries, her love for her sister overwhelmed her hatred of Alianna. She knelt down and gently touched her sisters back. She wrapped her arms around her and after a few moments Alison fell against her. “Meg…I…help me….” Megan closed her eyes and took in a deep breath and then opened them and began to run her hands through her sisters hair. She wanted to sing a lullaby that their mother had sung to them, but her voice made nails scratching across the chalkboard sounds like the Mormon Tabernacle choir. So she just whispered in her ear. “Do you want to build a snowman, want to go out and play…?”

Jaius held her through her anger and her sorrow. Her fist pounding on his shoulder, hurt, she had grown stronger in their journey to the past, but then again so had he. He endured her railings both physical and emotional and just held her and didn’t move. He’d caught the last part of her exchange with Alison. Ali forgiving her, and reaching out, even after all the hurt and betrayal,he was still shocked that she still reached out to her. Jaius also remembered listening to Alison cry all those months ago as he stood trapped in that locker. She cried out and asked Ali to forgive her, and as he remembered that and as he thought about how Alison didn’t immediately reject Alianna, or try to belittle her here and now, he couldn’t bring himself to condemn her. Ali had forgiven her and remembering what he had been forgiven of, he found it impossible to despise Alison, even though their table was out to get Keri and everyone associated with her, including him and Ali.

Soon, though, he began to sing that song his uncle had taught him, about the precious memories, and within a few minutes she had quieted and looked up at him. “You're here…”. Was all she was able to skweek out. “I’ll always be there when you need me.” She hugged him back, and then moved away and sat and looked at him. “I’m a mess aren’t I?” She said, genuinely afraid of what she looked like. “Well, I told you I would never lie to you, so you're beautiful, but it's a messy beautiful.” He said with a slight smile. Her cheeks reddened, whether from embarrassment or at him saying she was beautiful she couldn’t tell at that moment. “I gotta fix myself at least a little bit before going to class.” She said as she started to get up. He was quicker though and jumped to his feet and helped her stand. He picked up her bag and handed her her phone and looked down the hallway towards the girls bathroom. “You will probably want to go to the one on the main floor, I saw Alison run towards this one before I got to you.” She looked down the hall towards the bathroom and in the quiet of the empty cafeteria, and with her super hearing still intact, she could hear the muffled cries coming from there. “Thanks.” She said. He offered her his arm, and she gladly took it and let herself be led to the Stairwell she had come down when she came to get her phone.

Eventually Alison stopped crying. She looked at Megan with large puffy eyes and streaky make up. “Meg, what are you doing here, I….” She looked at her sister and saw a swirl of emotion on her face. “How much did you see?”

“Just you running into the bathroom crying, and so I ran in after you.” Megan had gotten quite good at the game. They had both spent last Saturday with Lacy learning tips and strategies, and Megan had become quite good at hiding her emotions and her truths, but Alison had known her her whole life and knew she wasn’t being completely honest, but right now she was too spent to call her on it and so she just let it go. “Thanks.” She said in an exhausted voice. “Come on Ali, let’s get you fixed up. We are going to be late for class.” Alison nodded and allowed herself to be helped up by Megan. They went to the mirror and set about trying to put her back together.

After ten minutes they had accomplished all they could and they hurried out the door and up to the main floor. When they got through the stairwell doors Megan knew Ali had to go to the left and she had to go to the right. Alison turned to her sister and gave her a hug. “Thanks Meg.” “Ultra Top Secret Ali.” Megan said with and encouraging smile. Alison smiled and squeezed her a bit tighter then let go and waved and hurried off to Grammer, with Sister Patrice. She opened the door and shut it as quietly as she could, but Sister Patrice stopped her introduction to Grammer and looked at the door. “Please do not make a habit of this Ms Trendale.” “Yes Sister Patrice, I’m sorry, I had forgotten my bag at the lunch table, it won’t happen again.” Sister Patrice nodded and motioned to the empty seat that Alice had saved for her. Alice looked concernedly at her and mouthed “You okay?” Alison nodded slightly. She caught Keri looking at her. She looked at her for a moment and then compassion seemed to come at Alison from Keri. Almost like she knew what had just happened. “How could she know? She thought as she sat down. She walled off everything that just happened. She had no time to dwell on that meeting with Ali. Maybe tonight she could allow herself the space to do so, right now though she had to make it though Grammer and then the rest of her classes and run her first real Cheer practice right after school.

Alianna worked as fast as she could with what she had in her purse. She had just put her hair in a ponytail and focused mainly on her eyes, trying to cover over the makeup that had run and trying to hide their puffiness. Jaius was waiting for her outside the door. She looked over her shoulder at the door. He was always there, at her weakest darkest moments, he was right there. “You’re always right there. How do you do it?” She whispered. Then all the uncertainty came flooding in. Jaius occupied such a large part of her heart, had they been trapped in the past for the rest of their lives she was pretty certain how her life would have shaped up. “But what do I do with everything now?” She said mournfully. “Here, we would need to wait years to be together, and who knows what would change in those years? Does God even want us together?” “I really need to talk to someone.” She pulled out her phone and texted Olivia. “Can I meet you in our backyard right after school tonight before Jaius comes over, I really need to talk.” “Definitely!” Came the reply. She sighed with relief, but then thought of someone else who had offered her a chance to talk. She texted her mom. “Hi Mom, can I meet with one of the girls from school at the Perking Meter this Saturday morning? Her name is Julie Kurtz and she is a junior at St Pious and goes to our new church.” She knew it might take her mom a bit to reply so she put her phone back in her purse and went about finishing her task. A few more minutes and she sighed. “I guess that’s as good as it gets. I hope Sister Bernadette has some mercy on us.” She closed her eyes, and folded her hands. “Lord, please give sister Bernadette a soft heart towards us. And also please be with Alison, please free her from this road she feels she is trapped on. In Jesus name I pray amen.” Again, there was that sense of His closeness to her, that He heard her. She smiled and headed for the door. She stepped into the hall and there he was leaning against the wall like Ye’Tul used to. Suddenly a wave of memories swept over her and she staggered a bit as the DeJa Vu hit her. He pushed off the wall and moved beside her and steadied her by grabbing her arm. “You okay?” He said, genuine concern on his face. She took a breath and shook her head. “Yep, just, well, when I came out of the bathroom I…I had a flashback of coming out of my room at the Catha- Dral and Ye…”. She couldn’t go on. “It’s okay Ali, I get that flood of memories too sometimes. You look better then ever.” He said. She smiled but then it faded. “We said we’d never lie to each other.” He looked at her with a sincere smile. “I’m not lying.” He said and started to walk down the hall. She blushed and smiled and followed after him. “I really need to talk to someone.” She said as her mind was a turmoil of confusing and conflicting emotions.

Sister Bernadette did have a frown on her face when two tardy students entered her room. Her face softened though when she saw who the students were. “Master McFarland, Ms Oaksen, we are all very thankful to God that you are safe and back with us.” Alianna saw Mandy and Tiffany both roll their eyes. She somewhat understood their sentiment, every teacher in each class they had been in today had made the class say welcome back, or made a thing about them in some way. The other kids may be getting a little tired of it. “Please take your seats.” She said. “Thank you

Sister.” Said Jaius. Alianna smiled and nodded and took the open seat in front of Trudi, and Jaius took the desk in front of Jim. Trudi leaned forward and whispered. “You okay?” She said softly. Alianna leaned her head back a little and turned to the side. “I’m okay, I…I ran into someone.” Trudi laid her hand on her shoulder gently and squeezed. Ali smiled and placed her hand in Trudi’s and squeezed back.

The bell rang and they gathered all their books and bags and stood up. They were near the back of the line of kids filling out the door. As they moved up Alianna began to hear snickers and laughter and the words “Brail Face” and “Ogre”. She’d been on the receiving end of the Tables pranks enough to take a good guess of what was happening and who the target was. She looked at Jaius who was turning to look at her at the same time. Somewhere they had begun to develop the ability of understanding each other without words. He nodded and turned around. “Hey Trudi, Alianna said you liked books as much as she did.” Trudi stopped and looked down at him. Alianna smiled and then turned and rushed to the head of the line. A boy was by the door looking at the picture of Shrek’s body with Trudi’s face shopped onto his body. The boy was Jeff O’Mally he was just about to burst out laughing when Alianna moved in front of him and gave him the ice cold stare she had perfected as Hyerss. The laugh died in Jeff’s mouth, and he actually took a step back. Keeping the stare on him she reached back behind her and grabbed the picture and crumpled it up. She then turned not looking at him and walked over and threw it away then moved back to the others.

“Ali and I are getting together tonight to write a summary of the play and I wanted to see if you wanted to join us and help us?” She heard Jaius say as she got closer. She smiled once she got to them. “Wow, um, yeah, I would love that, thanks Jaius.” He nodded and smiled and then turned to look at her. She saw him nod ever so slightly and grin and then picked up her bag and carried it out the door. Jim walked past and turned his head to her and mouthed the words “Thank you.” He then kept walking through the door. Her heart betrayed her again and began to flutter. She almost stamped her foot in frustration, but a hand rested on her shoulder. “Thanks Ali for doing that. You didn’t have to risk it, but it really meant a lot that you did.” Alianna turned and looked up at Trudi, her smile fading and a sadness touched her face. “I’m so sorry Trudi, I tried to get there before you saw it, I guess I wasn’t fast enough.” Trudi laughed and shook her head. “Not fast enough? You moved so fast I barely saw you move. It’s okay Ali, I saw it before anyone else did, it’s part of the curse of being taller than the other kids. It looked like a kid in the same type of mask that ambushed Keri and Olivia this morning. I really appreciate what you did though. That took a lot of courage.” “We got you and Keri’s backs Trudi, you're our friends now and we love you.” Trudi smiled and wiped at her eyes. “Thanks Ali. I still don’t understand how you are just able to accept Keri and I after how horrible we were to you?” Alianna looked at her and smiled. “It’s because I was accepted by someone who I was absolutely horrible to.” She said as she turned to head towards the door. “Who?” Said Trudi as she hefted her bag on her shoulder. Alianna looked over her shoulder and smiled. “Jesus.” With that she was out the door, but this moment didn’t leave Trudi’s head, but just kept spinning in the back of it.

They headed all the way back downstairs to the art room and smiled when they saw Keri and Olivia. They all waved to eachother and greeted eachother. When they sat down Alianna could feel Keri’s eyes on her. “You Okay?” Keri asked. Alianna cringed, “ I can’t talk about it, not yet.” She tried to deflect the question but just as she felt she was losing ground, their phones all buzzed, and this terrible video of poor Keri popped up on their screens. Instantly the tables turned and it was Alianna rushing into over to console her new friend. She wrapped her arms around her and hugged her. They spent the next few minutes encouraging her but again she found the lamp turned on by Keri as she pressed her if she was okay. Alianna nodded and told Keri she would stop by her house tonight and talk to her. After that all was settled, Alianna saw Keri walk over to the wall with the Lady of Shalott and watched her just stare at the painting. She saw Jim get up and start to move over to her. “Jim.” She whispered. Her stopped and turned. She dug into her purse and pulled out her “I’m sorry Jar” and handed it to him with a slight smile. He looked at it and then grinned and nodded when he saw what it was. He then went over and stood next to Keri.

Alianna turned back to the others. “ So, Jaius, is it okay if Trudi and I come over tonight to work on the play?” Aliannna said. Jaius nooded. “Yeah, my mom texted me back and said it was fine.” “What play?” Said Anne, and bit miffed that she hadn’t heard of this. Jaius smiled and looked at her. “Your a given Anne, since you live at our house, plus all your knowledge of poetry will help.” Alianna looked at Olivia. “You can come too Olivia, with your help we could add in song lyrics.” Olivia smiled and blushed. “Okay.” Was all she said. “It’s settled then. I better get to work if I’m to get all my homework done before school ends.” Said Alianna as she smiled at everyone and took out her work. “Me too.” Said Jaius. Anne, Trudi, and Olivia nodded also.

Alison stood on the sidewalk waiting for the bus to come. She had come out by herself because she needed a few minutes to herself to pull this day together in her head. It had most definitely not gone as she had hoped it would, but she also was determined to not let the waves that were crashing around her diminish her enjoyment of everything that she had worked so hard to achieve. Then something completely unexpected happened. The encounter with Ali after lunch filled her mind and wouldn’t leave, and so she was forced to deal with it. The problem was she couldn’t, it was too massive and the connections ran too deep, too deep into who she was. There was only one place where she had been able to deal with waves of emotions like this, but the only way to make that work is if Ali was willing to sit there with her.

It was then that she felt the hand on her shoulder. She turned her head and saw Megan smiling at her. She forced out a smile, which she hoped did not look forced. She also saw Mandy and Tiffany, Alice, Jake, Bradley, Brad and Billy standing there. Earlier she had watched Brittney being picked up in her limousine that had been parked just down the block. Alison had really come to respect her desire not to flaunt the fact that she was rich. They all smiled and waved, and so she took that as a good sign that everything going on inside her head wasn’t playing out on her face.

“Hey you.” She said warmly to Megan. She then waved back to everyone. “Hey everyone, I hope everyone had a really awesome first day.” She allowed years of continuing cheering for a loosing team kick in and cover up her lack of cheer on the inside, she needed to be their cheerleader now and not her own. They all smiled and either voiced or nodded their heads to indicate they had a good day. The bus arrived and they all got on, her and Megan going to the back left, which had seemed to become the Queen’s seat, since it had been Keri’s the year before and the Queen before her had sat here. They all settled into their seats and as the bus pulled away Alison leaned in toward Megan and leaned her head in and rested it on her shoulder. Megan stiffened for a moment but then placed her arm around Alison’s shoulder and then looked over at Mandy with concern in her face. Mandy assessed the situation in a second and immediately pulled out her phone and texted. Tiffany’s phone buzzed and then Mandy hopped over to sit on the edge of Megan’s seat and began to talk to Megan about how she loved what she was doing with her hair. Megan was lost for just a moment but then, when she saw how Mandy had angled herself to block anyone’s view of Alison, she knew that she was protecting her, and so immediately began to play along with Mandy. When Tiffany saw her phone she didn’t need to look at what Mandy was doing. She immediately texted Jake and Brad and told them what to do. They looked at their phones and right away began showing Bradley and Billy videos on their phones to keep them distracted. Tiffany kept texting. Soon Alice and Lottie had left their seats and were strategically distracting the right people to make sure that no one was looking back at Alison’s seat right now. Alison looked up briefly at Mandy who was talking to Megan about makeup. Without skipping a beat in her conversation, Alison saw Mandy glance down, saw her looking at her and winked at her with a little flicker of a smile and then continued talking to Megan as if nothing had happened. Alison looked back down and smiled. She couldn’t believe that in three short months Mandy and her crew had gone from hating her to going out of their way to protect her right now. She didn’t squander their gift. She just rested her head on Megan’s shoulder and began to untangle the mess in her head that had been mixed up by bumping into Ali this morning. She felt Megan squeeze her shoulder, as she continued talking to Mandy. It was such a little gesture, but it stirred something in her that she knew she would need to rectify tonight, she saw in that moment that she needed to connect more with Megan, that maybe she had not been as attentive of a sister to her as she once thought.

After school they all piled into the Bellows Escalade and headed home. When Alianna got home she ran inside, hugged her mom, put her bag down and told her mom about meeting Olivia and going to Jaius’s after. Her mom smiled and nooded. “Oh, one more thing Ali. I got your text. I can drop you at the Perking Meeter on Saturday. I talked with Julie last week at Church. She seems like a very nice girl and so it’s okay with me and your Dad.” Alianna beamed. “Thank you Mom. You’re the best!”

She hugged her mom again and then headed out the back door. A chain link fence separated their house from Olivia’s, so they had begun to meet out behind their house where there was an alley where a large pile of grass clippings formed the perfect spot to sit on top of and talk. When she walked through the chain linked gate she saw Olivia already sitting on top of the pile. She smiled and waved at her. Olivia did the same. Alianna climbed upt the pile and sat down next to her friend. “Thank you so much Olivia for meeting me here.” “It is definitely okay Ali, what did you need to talk about?” Alianna felt her cheeks reddening and smiled shyly. “Boys. I don’t know what to do Olivia. Jaius and I are so close, and we seem to get closer every day. I’ve never felt like this before. He’s…He’s right there whenever I need him. I keep thinking of that day in the past when I was as weak as a baby, completely unable to defend myself and there he was as he leapt through that window with his sword drawn and lifted me to safety. He did it again today. I…I was about to fall and he caught me. Like, I told him not to follow me to the Calf, but when I needed help, there he was. We relied on eachother so much when we were in the past and now it feels more and more like I can’t remember my life before he was in it”.

She had been talking so lightly and joyfully as she spoke about Jaius, so much so that Olivia couldn’t help but smile as she talked, but then Alianna’s face became a lot more heavy. “But, I don’t know what to do with this, and then…then there is Jim. Jaius has this huge part of my heart, but even though Jim was terrible to me in the spring, there is still this part of my heart that holds on to the crush I had on him. I’m just so confused Olivia.” She hung her head. Olivia placed her arm around her shoulder and Alianna leaned in. Olivia placed her other arm around her and leaned in close. “My dear sister…”. Alianna looked up at her very odd look on her face. “Sister?” She said hesitantly. A ton of emotions roiled through her mind, images of Alison and Nisa and all the varied emotion linked to each of those images made tears pour from her eyes. “What do you mean…? She said in a tone of emotional, crying, confusion. Olivia was completely confused at first and withdrew from her, some hurt playing on her face, but then slowly her countenance smoothed and softened and some things clicked together in her head. “Oh, Ali, I’m sorry. I meant that we are sisters in Christ. He has adopted us into His family and through that connection we are sisters, but I didn’t think when I said it how multifaceted that word is connected to different people for you, please forgive me.” Alianna shook her head and began to lean forward. Olivia caught on to what she needed and reached over and held her. “I miss them both so much, Olivia! It tears my heart in two to know that my dear friend Nisa, who kept me sane during my stay with the Herald, has died many thousands of years ago, and I may never see her again. Then there is, Alison who is alive and here now, but almost as far removed from me as Nisa is.” She cried out the hurt of those connections but after a minute or two she stopped and looked up at Olivia. “I do love the fact that you just taught me though, that we are sisters because of what Jesus did for us.” She said as she smiled. “I am too Ali. You…you have no idea the Joy I felt when I heard Christ had saved you, that I would get to be your sister forever.” Alianna’s smile got really big as the reality of what Olivia had just said filtered into her heart. “Oh Olivia, that is such an awesome thing. You're my sister who I will never lose.” Tears began to leak out of Olivia’s eyes also and she swiped at them and said “yep” her voice heavy with emotion. Then they both hugged again, but this time laughing together with Joy.

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When they pulled apart Olivia looked at her. “As I was saying before Ali, I hear and understand what your confusion is, but I have no personal advice to give because I’ve never been in a relationship with a boy, and not sure I even ever had a crush.” Something seemed to catch as she said that, which made her stop because she wasn’t sure what had caused that catch but shook her head and moved on. “Anyway, I can only tell you what I’ve been told by my parents and youth Pastors. The main reason for dating is really what they call courting. There has to be a goal if you are going to date and for us as followers of Christ, that goal needs to be marriage. Right now Ali, you and Jaius aren’t in a place to be working towards marriage and so I would say that any kind of dating could only lead to a bad end, unless you have both decided for sure you are going to get married someday and are working towards that, but I’m not sure you can be sure of that at this point. I mean, were you really sure back in the past?” Alianna looked at her, opened her mouth, then shut it and closed her eyes for a minute at least, and then opened them. “When we were in the past, after he pulled me out of myself that night on the rock, we had some serious conversations as to what we would do moving forward, since we were trapped together on that world probably for hundreds of years.. We talked a lot about really researching how the crystals worked and learning all we could so hopefully we could create a way to get home. We had also decided to stay together, like more then just not leave eachother, but that if, when we got to where Enoch sent us and it wasn’t a way home, then we would start to build a life there, together. So, yes, there we would probably have gone thought what you called courting, but here…here we can’t, and I don’t know what that means. I cherish each time we’re together, but if we need to wait five years to even start dating I’m not sure how to do that?” She said forlornly as the weight of the situation began to weigh down on her. Olivia looked at her, and Alianna could have sworn that it wasn’t Olivia looking at her. “Ali, you can agonize through years of trying to hold your love for Jaius at arm's length until you both are old enough, or you could let that large part of your heart rest with Jesus, who you know you will be with forever. You don’t know that about Jaius, Ali. None of us are guaranteed to be here tomorrow, or the next day, or maybe God will lead you both down different paths. If either of those do happen then you will have wasted all these days in anxiety instead of redeeming them with your eyes on Christ.” Alianna looked at her. Inside her was a tornado of emotions, she cried out inside her head, “You don’t get it Olivia, you don’t Understand, I love Him!” Then another more rational part of her shouted back. “Isn’t she right!” The more rational side was winning this round but her emotional side wasn’t out of the battle. “I hear what you're saying Olivia, and it’s definitely good advice, it’s just going to be so hard to back off from how close we are getting.” “I understand Ali, but just think of this, waiting doesn’t mean you can’t be friends.”

Again it was like someone else talking to her. She nodded and hugged Olivia again. “Thank you, sister.” She said with a genuine smile. “I’m always here for you sister whenever you need me.” Alianna smiled, and so did Olivia, but after a moment her smile got bigger and bigger. . “Oh my goodness, Ali, you live right next door to me!” Alianna laughed. “Olivia, this isn’t new news, lol.” Olivia shook her head, still smiling. “I know, lol, no, I mean, do you want to sleep over on Saturday? You could come with us to church the next day.” Alianna’s mouth dropped and then she bounced up and down and a squeal slipped out of her mouth. “Oh my goodness Olivia you're right, why didn’t we do this yet. Wow, that is such a great idea. Let’s ask our mom’s but I’m definitely in if they are.” Olivia gave her a thumbs up. “You got it Ali, I’m going right now.” She said as she jumped off the pile and started walking toward the gate that led to her backyard, waving as she went. “I’ll text you with what she says.” “Okay, that was such a great idea Olivia! I’ll see you soon at Jaius’s.” “ Olivia smiled. “I’ll be there. .

Once Olivia disappeared into her yard, Alianna jumped off the pile, went back into her yard, and walked along the tree line. She stopped when she got to the large tree that had been her and Ali’s clubhouse and looked in, and almost screamed as she saw someone sitting there with their back against the bare trunk of the tree. Alison looked up at her, tears streaking her eye liner down her face and red puffyness surrounding her eyes. Alianna relaxed and set her bag down and then sat down with her back to the trunk of the tree as well. So they were facing away from eachother but close enough to be heard. “Hey.” Said Alianna. There was a deep breath from behind her and then Alison replied. “Hey.”

There was silence for a minute. Alianna was praying in her head that God would bless this somehow, that she could say the right thing or do the right thing to bring Ali away from the table and back to her. The silence continued, but after another minute she heard a familiar rustling of the ground right behind her on her left side and then her right. Muscle memory kicked in and without thinking she reached back with both her hands and closed them around Ali’s. It was their cone of silence. Since the ALI club had started this had been their way of closing off the world and sharing all their deep secrets, and no one else could hear them, because when they clasped their hands like this it formed a cone of silence where only they could hear what was said. At least, their five year old selves believed this, both of them now knew there was no magical cone of silence protecting them right now, but each one also knew that what was said right now, didn’t leave this tree.

“Ali.” Said Alison in a tone that Alianna had not heard for a year and a half. “I wasn’t able to express how I felt correctly this afternoon in the calf. I am so thankful you're alive. All I could imagine when you were missing was having to stand at your casket all alone. Ali, the only way I survived Nana’s viewing was because you were there right next to me. I couldn’t have made it if I needed to stand at your viewing by myself. Also, I am so desperately sorry that I wasn’t standing beside you that day on the bus last year, the anniversary of the death. The day Leri ruined her book.

When I heard the news that you were back, I cried with so much gratitude. Then I texted Brittney Shafer to see if her brother would give me a ride to the hospital. That is how I got there so fast, his… uh…car is really fast. Anyway, I still wasn’t sure that I would get to see you, but I had to try. Then when I did see you, I saw that you saw me and I freaked and left the hospital. I’m sorry I didn’t go up to you that night, and for spazzing on you that way earlier today in the caf. . Ali, I…I, everything your mom said about me that day that I ran into her is true. I am a traitor, and worthless and evil, and I can’t leave the table and abandon Megan, but I came here right now to tell you that, in this place where it is only the Ali’s, that I am so sorry and also so thankful you're alive and…I never stopped caring about you.” She said the last part with words full of the emotion that had stopped her speaking. Alianna squeezed her hands tighter to encourage her. “I know you're sorry Ali, I saw that you wrote it on the sidewall of your locker last year, I am sorry too Ali. I hated you, and that hatred almost burned me up...” She let that hang in the air for a moment, she needed Alison to feel the weight of her pain before she let it go. “But as I said this morning and am restating it now, I forgive you, and I still care for you very much also…sister.” Alison’s hands now squeezed hers very tightly and she let out a pitiable whimper. Alianna squeezed them back. “Ali, you're in the cone of silence, remember? The outside world can’t hear you, it’s just you and me and the tree, right?” Alison couldn’t control herself anymore, all the rigid walls came down. It wasn’t possible for her not to talk right now, here in this place where for years they would both sit here and bare their souls to each other, safe within the cone of silence. “I betrayed my sister, I betrayed the vow we swore to each other, I hurt her so utterly so deeply, I ravaged our friendship, all because…all because...” She had trouble saying it, as if saying it would make it permanent, but all the years of being completely open here had loosened her mouth and she couldn’t stop it. “…all because my mother has never told me she loves me.” Her hands sagged and she fell forward unable to find the strength to stay upright. Then arms were around her and holding her, and that healing hug that only Ali could give was around her. She fell into it and cried like she hadn’t in a long time. There was something different this time in that hug, something pure, something that caressed the edges of the void inside her, as if it might fill it, as if it could fill it. Alianna began to sing, it was the lullaby Nana had always sung to them when they would stay over and they were going to sleep. Ali’s voice had always been a pretty one, but as Alison listened she heard a depth and beauty that hadn’t been there before. All the memories of Nana and Pop’s house flooded through her mind. She had thought that looking at those memories would make her cry harder, but instead they comforted her like a soft blanket. She clung to those precious memories so they would not disappear again and she remembered something that had been forgotten. “I’m Ali.” She said in the softest whisper. Alianna stopped singing and bent down and whispered into her ear. “I’m Ali too.” These were the first words they ever spoke to each other, the ones that had forged their friendship, and could, just maybe, restore it. At that moment they were the Ali’s again, as if the last year and a half hadn’t happened. She didn’t want to leave that hug, had no desire to leave this moment that had been carved out of time, but knew she had too, knew that reality still waited on the other side of the bubble they were in.. She clung to it as long as she could though, fighting the urge to leave with all she had , but eventually she became aware again of the passage of time. She lifted herself up and looked at Alianna. as they stared at each other they could really see eachother again. Alison smiled, and Alianna matched it. Something happened inside of Alison at that moment, her heart began to beat a little again. Here in this place, this sanctuary from the world of the game, she could remember what it was like to just be Ali again.

“Thank you Ali, for a forgiveness I could never earn.” She said and Alianna shook her head ad smiled. “I also received a forgiveness I could never earn. Thank you Ali for being willing to receive it.” Alison’s smile faded a little as she turned to look out of the tree, then back to Ali. “I…I have to be Queen again when I walk out of the tree.” She said sullenly. Alianna placed her hands over hers. “I know, but I’ll always be here for you Ali, when you need me. Here, there is no Queen or anything else, just the Ali’s.” A single tear leaked out of Alison’s eye and then she looked at her. “Who forgave you Ali? Who did you do something to where you needed forgiveness?” Alianna looked back at her. “Jesus.” Alison had heard that name constantly, but this time something was different, there was something more to it when Ali said the name. It didn’t just disappear into the void inside her, it floated there, the void had no power over it. She almost asked Ali what she meant, but just then her alarm went off on her phone. She hit snooze but also knew she needed to go, she had requested that her court meet at Brittney’s at 6 for an emergency strategy meeting to plan a way forward after what Jennifer had brought to them this afternoon. Alianna looked like she wanted to say more but then stopped. Alison reached out and hugged her and Ali returned it warmly.

“Thank you…sister?” Alison said in a very meek voice, with the question evident in her delivery. Alianna squeezed her tighter. “I’ll always be there when you need me Sister.” She said without hesitation. Alison squeezed harder at that and then let go. She stood up and so did Ali. She slung her bag over her shoulder and began to walk out of the tree fort. As she walked away from the tree she could feel the world pressing back in on her and the mantle of Queen being returned to her shoulders. Icy fingers began to harden the walls of her heart, when they had been so warm and soft just moments before. She only looked back once and saw Ali standing there waving at her. She smiled slightly and waved back and she could have sworn she saw the image of someone standing next to Ali, it was an image of her, Alison, but as she had been a few min ago, warm, soft, and just plain Ali again. That Alison waved at her also. She could still feel those memories, and they kept the icy hardness from covering her heart in full. She knew she had a safe place to go now, a real friend to confide in, and she knew they would keep the ice from hardening her heart completely. When Alison disappeared through the gate that led to the Alley, Alianna fell to her knees and sobbed. She had held everything back only by the grace of God. It had been the moment she had been praying for, the one she had always hoped would happen. She had her sister back, even if it is only within the confines of the tree.

Jaius was texting Jim about the play that was happening at his house and so he didn’t notice as the gate he was about to open opened from the other side and someone ran into him. “I’m sorry.” he said as he took a step back. “No, I was the one not looking…” said the girl with chestnut colored hair. He recognized Alison from this morning and the other times he had seen her, but this was actually the first time he could remember actually talking to her. She seemed to recognize him also. “It’s definitely okay, Alison, right?” He said. She nodded. “Jaius, right?” He nodded. “I’m glad you both made it back okay, , thanks…thank you for making sure she wasn’t alone.” This was a very surreal moment for him. Last year if he had bumped into the Queen of the middle school he would have stumbled and mumbled and made a fool of himself, but after all he had been through, her station didn’t intimidate him like it once would have. In fact, all he really saw was a normal girl who looked okay on the outside, but he could read a whole lot of turmoil in her eyes. “I wouldn’t have made it back without her too.” She smiled slightly. “I…I got to go…” she said, starting to move past him. “She pours her entire heart into everything she does, she doesn’t hold back or try to protect it, that’s why she gets hurt so badly, but it’s who she is. She has held it out to you again, don’t hurt her again.” He didn’t say it with any tone of a threat, just a honest statement of how things were, the last part was said as a statement, but there was something in how he said it that let Alison know he meant to protect Ali. She stopped and turned to him. She wanted to put up the face of the Queen that she had gained over the past five months. Stern, cold, commanding, but as she looked at him and saw in his eyes not a threat, but just a simple fact that he would do all he could to protect her, she let the Queen recede and gave him Ali. “I never wanted to hurt her the first time, I just wasn’t strong enough to prevent it. I don’t intend to hurt her going forward.” “Then why did you have your people put this weird note in her locker?” Jaius asked and then proceeded to tell her what it said. Alison was about to respond but then stopped when he said what was on the note. “I didn’t tell anyone to do that. I…I don’t even know what that means.” Jaius looked concerned. He could hear the truth in her voice. “I…I believe you, which makes it worse. That means someone that neither of us knows has something against Ali.” Alison nodded concern. touching her face. “I’ll do what I can to find out what this is.” “Thank you.” Jaius said genuinely. Alison looked at him and then smiled slightly and turned and walked away down the Alley. “That can’t be the same kid that we picked on last year. That kid was soft and pudgy and naive. This boy is smart, strong and solid as a rock. I thought I hit a wall when I bumped into him.” She held her phone up and used it to glance over her shoulder. She just caught sight of him as he stepped through the gate.

He had watched her as she walked away for a few moments. He had heard so much about her from Ali, but had never actually talked to her. She didn’t seem like someone with an Ice cold heart like he had heard, but then again, their meeting was very brief. He shook his head and proceeded to open the gate to Ali’s backyard thinking that if she had been talking to Alison she might not be in too good of a place right now.

After a few minutes she heard someone kneel down next to her and then she felt strong arms around her. She looked up through tear stained eyes and saw Jaius looking back at her. “You okay?” He asked. She shook her head and began to laugh. “What?” He said a bit defensively. “How do you do it? How do you show up exactly when I need you?” She leaned into him and he laughed a little too. “I will always keep my promises to you Ali.” She looked up at him and smiled. She was remembering what Olivia said but couldn’t bring herself to bring it up now. She knew they would need to have a conversation about where they were going with all this, but right now she didn’t want to spoil this moment. After a little while he looked at her and said. “Still wanna write that summary?” “Definitely!” She said smiling. He helped her up and took her bag and her hand and walked back with her to the gate.

Emily Oaksen looked out the window as she sat there on the couch reading her Bible and proceeded to drop the book as she was overcome by shock as she looked out into the back yard. There was Alianna and Alison sitting in their old club house, each one with their backs to the trunk and their arms stretched behind them and their hands locked. Tears streamed down her face as years worth of memories flooded her mind. There had been times, even in the dead of winter, that she would find them out there like that, in their cone of silence, sharing their deepest darkest secrets. “Oh, my Ali’s.” She whispered. She knew then that she needed to confront Alison again and ask her forgiveness for what she had said to her, but she was so unsure of how or when to do it, or even if given the chance she could do it. It convicted her greatly that her thirteen year old daughter could take these steps to reach out to Alison, but she could not. Yet the pain remained. Years of love and nurture that she had poured into that girl, and that her mother had also, only to have it thrown back in her face over who Alison sat with at a school lunch table. Still unable to calm the warring emotions inside herself regarding Alison she did nothing, but sit and watch a moment she had not witnessed in almost two years. When she picked up her Bible again it had opened to Matthew 18:21-22 where Peter asks Jesus how many times he should forgive his brother, and Jesus says not seven times, but Seventy Seven times. She felt it deep in her heart that prick of conviction. How much had she been forgiven of, could she possibly withhold it from Alison? She closed her eyes and prayed and felt the truth of these words in her heart. When she opened her eyes she saw Jaius standing near her and helping her up from the ground. She smiled slightly, she had become quite certain that Jaius would lay down his life for her if she was in danger, and that gave her so much peace, but also concern at how close they were getting. Jonathan had told her he would talk to Jaius and she said she would talk to Ali. She let out a sigh. Deep down inside she always had such anxiety with hard conversations, but as a mother she had learned you cannot use your fears as excuses not to do something. She took out her phone and texted Jaius’s mom they they were heading to her together. She went into the kitchen and saw the stack of mail from today. While looking through it she caught sight of something stuck back behind one of the baskets on the counter. She put the mail down and reached behind the basket and pulled out some pieces of mail that were folded and crumpled at odd angles. She recognized them immediately as the stack that she had hit Alison with all those months ago. A tear leaked out as she thought of that terrible day and how horrible she had been to her.

Later that night Alison was laying on her bed texting with Lacy and she heard the bathroom door close and then heard her sister's door close. Something stirred in her heart, a realization that she had not been there for Megan like she should have been. She had had to practically raise Megan since their mom had to work so many jobs to support them and their Dad had left them and they really didn’t have any family. She had bathed her, and made food for her and made sure she did her homework, and all that is good, but today’s interactions with Ali had shown her just how deficient she was in the area of caring for someone’s heart. She had never really focused on her sister's heart. Ali always did, always asking Megan how she was doing, and when Megan would fall and cry, Ali was the first one there to hug her and tell her it was okay, and maybe that was why Alison had become so deficient in this area, she just always let Alianna take care of someone’s heart, while Alison focused more on the practical needs. She texted Lacy that she needed to take care of something and she would text her back later. She then put down her phone on the bed and got up, put her feet in her slippers and walked down the hall. She paused when she got to Megan’s door and almost turned around when she heard soft crying coming from the other side of the door. She placed her hand on the door and sighed. She then turned the knob and opened the door some. “Meg, can I come in?” She heard the crying stop abruptly and around some sniffling Megan said. “Hey Ali, definitely, you never need to ask, you know that.” Alison entered the room and saw Megan sitting cross legged on her day bed clutching her hello kitty stuffy to her chest. Alison could still see the tears staining her cheeks. She sat down on the bed facing her. She reached out and took her hands. “Come here Meg.” Megan got a confused look on her face, but didn’t hesitate to set the stuffy aside and move closer to Alison. As she got close Alison opened her arms and Megan rested herself in them. Alison leaned back against the frame of the day bed, holding her sister. She looked down at Megan and waited till she looked up at her. “Meg, you have been such a huge support to me these past months. You’ve done everything I asked of you and more. You have been more of a sister to me then…then I have been to you.” Megan looked. shook her head when she said this. “Ali, don’t you ever say that, you are the best sister ever!” Alison smiled slightly but shook her head. “Thank you Meg, but that isn’t true. I may have been around to take care of your needs, but I never took care of your heart.” Megan looked like she was about to protest again but Alison smiled and shook her head. She then looked deep into her sister’s eyes. “Megan Ann Trendale, I am so sorry for all the years that I failed to care for your heart like an older sister should. I thought I was doing enough to make sure you had food and done your homework and got to school, but I realized, and I hope it has not come too late, that I wasn’t focusing on you, just on taking care of you. I love you Meg, and I am so glad you are my sister, and….” She looked down at her with a twinkle in her eyes. “I most definitely want to build a snowman, with you.” She said with a smile. Tears erupted from Megan’s eyes “Oh Ali…I…I love you so much…” was all she got out before she buried her head in Alison’s arms and cried. Alison just held her sister and rocked her back and forth and sang to her the lullaby their Mom used to sing to them. Ali always had the better voice, but Alison always thought her voice was at least passable. Eventually Megan cried herself to sleep, and not too long after that Alison fell asleep too.

Alianna turned off the light to the bathroom and tiptoed down the hall as she turned the corner near the twins room she heard crying coming from inside. She peaked in and saw Simon sitting up in his bed crying. She saw Sarah starting to stir from the noise and so she moved in quickly sat down next to Simon and pulled him into her arms. He calmed a little as she held him and so she stood up and went over to the recliner in the corner and sat down and cuddled him to her. He was still whimpering, but had quieted. She had apparently not been quick enough to keep him from waking Sarah up because as soon as she got Simon settled in her arms Sarah appeared at her knees and looked pleadingly at her. Alianna smiled at her sister and waved at her to come up. Sarah smiled and climbed up onto her lap and cuddled close. Alianna closed her arms around her brother and sister and closed her eyes, letting this moment burn into her memory. She then looked at Simon. “Did you have a bad dream Simon.” He nodded, still whimpering. “Me toos.” Said Sarah softly. Alianna squeezed them each a bit tighter. “It’s okay, you are both safe now.” They nestled themselves closer into her and each other. She felt such a deep connection to each of them, and realized in that moment that she hadn’t let herself connect with them on this level before. “What was your bad dreams about?” The twins both looked at eachother and Alianna could tell something was passing between them. “You was gone Awi, and we could not find you.” Said Simon, and Sarah nodded her head. She was overwhelmed with emotions. She hadn’t even thought about what her being gone for so long might have done to her siblings. Since they were only three and a half she had thought they wouldn’t even be thinking much of her, but hearing that they were having bad dreams about her not being there opened a whole new door in her heart for them. She cuddled them close and whispered to them. “I love you Simon, I love you Sarah!” “We wuv you too Awi.” Said Sarah. Alianna heard a soft cry from the door and she opened her eyes and saw her mom standing there looking at them with tears on her cheeks. Alianna smiled at her mom through her own tears, and her mom smiled back. This precious memory was always the one Emily Oaksen found joy in in when she needed that joy in the years afterwards.