“Fear is the mind killer and fear is the little death...”
Frank Herbert..
Jaius found himself walking through the woods outside his home. The strong wind that he felt earlier that day was back again, pushing him ever further into the copse. The only light that filtered through the trees came from the moon. Just as he finished jumping over a small tree that had fallen, he knew that something around him had changed. He looked behind him and knew, deep down inside, that even if he went back the way he had come, he would never find his house. A sickening fear gripped his guts, and he stumbled forward. Soon he could smell wood smoke ahead. Also manure and other smells one might smell on a farm. He continued on and after a few minutes, through the branches ahead, there was a house. It was a double story house, but was like no structure he had ever seen. The walls were made of water. At least that was what It looked like from here. As he neared it though he saw that the walls were some form of translucent crystal, and that water seemed to be flowing upward inside the crystal. He shoved his hand into his pocket, looking for his iPhone. Touching the screen he hit the Google tab, but after a few seconds it informed him that he has no signal.
“Where the hell am I?” He said in a hushed tone. He inched as close to the wall that surrounded the house as he dared and stole a peak at the sky, there was an unbroken layer of clouds up there. At first, he thought it must be a storm, but none of the clouds were dark. It was just one big, white, fluffy mass. Even though he could not see the sun, it was almost as bright out as noontime, and he could feel warmth coming from the sky.
An ear-piercing scream brought him out of his musing.
“Ma-MAA!”
It had come from the structure. He spotted a window in the house from where the noise came, but he hesitated out of fear of someone seeing him. The scream came again, and after it ended, he could hear crying. It sounded like a girl. Something began to boil inside him. He had let Alianna endure her grief by herself earlier today, He wasn’t going to leave another damsel in distress. He rushed forward across the well cut grass to the window and looked in. Inside he saw a kitchen that seemed to fit better in Robin Hood Prince of Thieves. There was a big fireplace with a brass kettle on it, a large wood table in the middle of the room, and bundles of herbs and spices hanging from the ceiling. There was a woman standing near the table, she wore fancy white robes with silver inlays. She held a whip in her hand and at the end of the whip was a glowing red crystal. She drew the whip back, and then sent it hurtling forward. He followed its trajectory and saw it hit the back of a blond-haired girl who was kneeling on the floor using her body to shield another girl with dark hair. When the whip struck the blond girl’s back, her head snapped back as she let out another scream. He let out a scream to match Her’s as he recognized the blond girl was Alianna. The woman looked up at the new sound and saw him. She began to move toward the window. Jaius ran back the way he had come, lept the fence and headed back to the trees. He heard footsteps behind him, the distraction causing him not to see the root sticking out of the ground. His foot caught in it, and he tumbled forward onto the lime green carpet on his bedroom floor. He landed inches from the beanbag chair that Anne had fallen asleep on. She woke up with a scream, due to all the commotion.
“Jaius, what are you doing! Trying to scare me in my sleep?”
Jaius could hear the earlier tone of anger creeping back into her voice.
He lay there shivering for a few moments unable to speak.
“Jaius” She said, the anger becoming ever more pronounced.
Then a bright light came on directly over him, making it impossible to see.
He heard a gasp and then the light dropped, Ann's phone bouncing off his arm.
“Jaius, Jaius are you ok, your soaking wet. Are you sick?” He felt her hand touch his forehead. “You don’t seem to have a fever.”
“Nightmare…” he croaked.
“Oh man, I know all about those. Don’t worry, I’ll fix ya up. I’m gonna get you a towel from the bathroom.” He heard his bedroom door open, then close.
As he lay there the dream played out over and over in his head. What crazy sci-fi channel production had he been watching that spurred that waked out dream. And what the heck was Alianna Oaksen doing in his dream. He desperately hoped that this dream would never be found out buy anyone, or else the kids at the dungeon would torture both He and Alianna mercilessly. Why Alianna though? Why her?
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Alison made sure that Keri was asleep before she turned her back to Keri's bed and let the tears start to fall from her eyes. Her shoulders shook, but she bit her lip and stifled the sounds she wished to let out. The scene from the bus kept playing over and over in her head. Ali's book sailing out the window, and then being destroyed by that car. Alisons's eyes squeezed shut, as a sick feeling rose up from her stomach. She shook her head back and forth. That book had been very special to Alison also. Alison had never had a grandmother, her parents were both orphaned at a young age, Alianna's grandmother, Mrs. Stavits, had accepted Alison as her own the first time she met her. She had insisted that Alison call her Nana also. After about a year, Alison cemented in her mind once and for all that Mrs. Stavits was her grandmother. That had been Nana's book. She had given it to them both on their 8th birthday. Ali and Alison were both born on March 15th. They would sit together in their club house and read that book cover to cover at least once a week.
Then the worst image flashed before her mind’s eye. It was the look in Ali's eyes when she turned to stare at Alison. She had seen hate there. Alianna, one of the kindest people she knew, hated her. She couldn't hold in the scream anymore. She knew it would wake Keri up, knew it would make her look like a spaz, but she couldn't stop it, couldn't stop Ali's eyes from boring into her soul.
A piercing scream filled the room. At first Alison thought it was her own, but slowly she realized that the scream was coming from across the room. It was a wailing, crying scream. It was Keri. Alison rolled over and squinted into the darkened room. The light from the hallway showed Keri's shadowy form sitting up in the bed. She was screaming and crying out something unintelligible, so much so that her scream bent her forward. Alison had heard something like that only once before. It was the day that Ali and she had come home from school and Ali's mom had told them that Nana had died. Ali had cried like Keri that day, Alison had too.
“What do I do, I need to make sure she is OK, but if she knows that I saw her like this it could go bad for me. I could pretend to still be sleeping, heh, she wouldn’t believe that I slept through that noise.”
Light flooded the room as the door flew open. Alison was blinded momentarily by the light. When her vision cleared, she could see Trudi sitting on Keri's bed holding her sister. Trudi was whispering quietly to Keri as Keri cried into her shoulder. Alison's mouth dropped open. It was the most tender thing she had ever seen Trudi do. She closed her mouth just as Trudi's head swung toward her. Trudi stared in shock as her eyes fell on Alison. She looked puzzled, as if she had forgotten that Keri had asked Alison to sleep over tonight. Trudi shook her head slightly and that stern mask that she always wore returned. She jerked her head toward the hallway. Alison got the hint. She put her feet into her slippers and walked quietly out of the room. She almost bumped right into Keri's mom. Mrs. Bellows looked like an older version of Keri. Even having just gotten out of bed without any makeup, Alison could see that she had been as pretty and popular as Keri was when she was their age.
“Oh...Alison, is everything ok?” She said as she looked past Alison into Keri's room.
“Umm...well..”
“It's alright dear. There are some brownies left, and milk or other drinks in the fridge. Why don't you go make yourself something, I'll come get you when everything is OK.”
There was some compassion for Alison in her voice, but the suggestion had the undertones of a command. Alison nodded her head, but Mrs. Bellows was already heading into the room. Alison caught movement out of the corner of her eye. When she looked down the hallway, she saw Mr. Bellows standing there. He was staring at Keri's room. After a moment he sighed, ran his hand over his balding head and then headed back into the master bedroom.
Alison made her way down the stairs and into the massive kitchen. She had to pull twice on the door of the large stainless steel fridge to get it open. She took a bottle of water, she had never been able to stomach white milk, and she didn't see any chocolate. She then went over and lifted the aluminum foil from the plate that bore the brownies. She put one on a napkin and then looked around for a place to sit. She locked in on the kitchen table, but movement took her attention from it. She looked to the left and saw one of the curtains blowing out straight. The kitchen window was open, and from the feel of the breeze it was still warm out. Odd weather for the end of March.
Something tugged at her from outside, like a yearning for something she had lost.
She went to the sliding door that led out to the deck and unlocked it and slid it open. She stepped out onto the composite wood and instinctively skirted the Hot Tub that was set in the center of the deck. She stopped once she got to the railing. She set the water and brownie down on the wood and stared out at the yard below her. The yard itself was half an acre long and beyond it was a wooded area. There was a strong wind blowing, it was warm, but also strong enough to whip back her chestnut-colored hair. There was something on the wind, she had no idea what to call it, but it seemed to draw her attention to the woods at the end of the yard. She felt the sudden urge to run through the yard and into the woods. But this something that floated on the wind also made her think of Ali again.
Alison's own house lay on the other side of the wood from Keri's. Ali and she used to swim in a creek that was near there. The sick feeling returned as she thought about that last summer, the one between fifth and sixth grade, the last time they swam there.
“Why did I have to think of her?” She slammed her hand down on the railing. “Keri's crying episode had scared it out of me, and there I go letting myself think about her again.” As her mind turned away from the wind, it seemed to slack off and fade from her.
“I would have still been her friend, secretly, but still her friend. We could have talked at night like we always did, maybe passed some notes, and we could have still met at the Tree, but no, she had to go and insist on joining Keri's group!” Alison said as she tried to justify her position and what she had done to Ali. Alison's mother had insisted that she could no longer be Alianna's friend. She had told Alison that since Ali wasn't on the team, and didn't hang out with Keri, that any time spent with her was either time that could be spent practicing or getting to know Keri better. Alison had rebelled, had stood up for Ali and their friendship, but in the end, like always, her mother had won.
Years ago, her mother had locked her in a closet down in the basement for a week one summer. It was after Alianna and her mother had had a large fight, and Ali had intended to run away. Alison had gone with her, because she didn't want her to be alone, and because Alison's own mother was being a bear. They had made it as far as the bridge that led into the neighboring town of Oak Creek, when the lights of a cop car turned on and that ended their journey. Ali and her mom made up, Ali had still been grounded, but it wasn't the same as what happened to Alison. Alison's mother was furious. She screamed at Alison until she was horse, and then locked Alison in that closet. She let her out to use the bathroom, and put food in for her, but the rest of the time, Alison was trapped in the dark. Her sister Megan would come visit her when she could, but it was difficult for her to come visit when their mother was around. Alison would cry endlessly when she was alone in that closet, that feeling crippled her to this day, being alone, being forgotten and unloved.
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She found out afterward that her mom had told Alianna that Alison had gone to stay with a friend of Alison’s Mom in Harrisburg that the family had known for years, and that she would see her the next week. Alison's mom had made her swear not to tell anyone about putting her in the closet. She said if she did tell, the closet would become Alison's room. Alison would do anything never to go back in that darkness, even betray her best friend, her sister, Alianna.”
She felt a hand on her shoulder, the weight making her realize that her shoulders had been shaking, and that there were tears rolling down her face.
She turned to see Keri withdrawing her hand. Alison quickly wiped at her eyes.
She almost choked when she opened them and saw Keri handing her a handkerchief. It wasn't the gesture that shocked her, but the look on Keri's face. She could be dreaming but Alison would swear that that was compassion on Keri's face. Alison stammered somewhat as she reached out and took it.
“I'm sorry if I frightened you, Alison. I...I had a bad dream, well my mom calls them night terrors, I guess that is a better name for them.”
Alison dabbed at her eyes. She used the time spent dabbing to try and process what was going on here. Keri Bellows, being nice to someone, even one of her friends, was not heard of. Also, she has Night Terrors! Alison knew all about them. In some of her dreams she would find herself trapped in that closet again, except in the dream, the closet was all there was. She didn't know how she knew but in the dream, there was no house around the closet, no town around the house, no planet around the town. There was just blackness, and she knew she was totally alone. It was terrible.
“I...I...” She tried to commiserate but couldn't get the words out.
“It is okay Alison, nothing to be worried about now...” Keri's eyes squinted shut and she put her hands to the sides of her head. “Och!”
“Keri, are you OK?”
“...Jus...just a headache. I...I get them sometimes.”
Alison moved to stand next to her and took her arm and helped her over to a chair that set near the hot tub.
She helped her to sit down and then stood back a step. She went over and grabbed the bottle of water. She brought it over to Keri, undid the cap, and handed it to her. Keri looked at it through half closed eyes. Slowly she reached out and took it and took a few sips. After a few more moments Keri seemed to relax somewhat. She looked up at Alison, and for some reason the red, poofy, eyes that met hers gave her the idea that Keri really was a human being. She had heard it said that the eyes are the gateway into someone's soul. Alison swore, in that moment, that she actually saw something...human... behind Keri's blue eyes.
“Thanks.” Keri stood somewhat shakily. Alison took her arm again to steady her. “You are okay Alison. Look, no one at School knows about these night terrors, and it must stay that way.” Keri looked her in the eyes when she said this, and Alison saw the normal hardness return to them. Keri's eyes softened somewhat after a few moments. “I'm moving your seat at the table tomorrow.” Ice gripped at Alison's heart. Any kind of change in the seating at the “A” table could be very bad news for the one being changed.
“Your new seat will be right next to Jim's, across from Mandy's...equal to Mandy's.” Alison's mouth dropped open. In the hierarchy of the “A” table, it went Keri as Queen, Trudi as her Second and Jim as the Prince, and then Mandy who sat in the Heir Apparent seat. Normally the Queen picks an Heir at the beginning of the year of her reign. Mandy had been given the seat, but not the title. Keri had yet to name an Heir, but everyone assumed it would eventually be Mandy. Tiffany Lockman currently sat next to Jim, and across from Mandy, but she didn't hold the same standing in the leadership of the group as Mandy did. That last part about being equal to Mandy meant that Keri had just made her a contender for the role of Heir, one of the leaders of the group, and set up a possible battle between Alison and Mandy for the title of Queen, at the very least it opened the door for Keri to choose her instead of Mandy to be her heir. Alison would answer now only to those above her, not below. Keri was also indicating to the table that Alison also had a chance to be Queen of the table next year.
“I'll talk to Tiffany before school, she'll understand.” Alison wasn't so sure about that, but she did know that Tiffany wouldn't say anything to her about it. Alison had truly arrived. Tomorrow she would be one of the most popular girls in the Middle School. She might even convince her mom to cement over the closet when she told her this. Alison also knew that this promotion wasn't out of generosity. It was to make sure she never repeated what happened here tonight. “Thank you so much Keri, Oh wow, like I just can't believe it, you are really the best, and as for tonight all that happened was that I woke up and was hungry and then came out to the deck for some air.” Keri smiled with satisfaction. “Trust is an important commodity Alison, I hope I will not be disappointed investing it in you, it's something that you can't get back once squandered.”
That hit Alison like a knife. The image of Ali on the bus jumped into her mind, the fire that burned in Ali's eyes at her, fires of hate. It took every ounce of will she had not to lose it right there in front of Keri. “You...You can count on me Keri.” She tried to cover the stammer by rubbing her arms and making Keri think that she was cold. Keri stood, put her arm around Alison and led her back inside. When they got to Keri's room, Alison saw that the door to Trudi's room was cracked open. As they went into Keri's room, she heard the door click shut. Keri shut the door and as Alison was taking off her slippers, Keri gave her a hug. Alison went rigid for a moment. “Keri hugs?” After a moment though, Alison hugged her back. “Thanks.” said Keri before she pulled away and got into bed.
Alison stood there in shock for a few moments. She watched as Keri turned away from her, and her shock deepened as she saw an old teddy bear poking its head out over her shoulder. She heard Keri whisper “Goodnight Liquorish'' Alison shook her head and climbed into the bed. She stared up at the ceiling and marveled. “Keri Bellows is human” Without warning Ali's face appeared in her mind. She saw Ali mouth the words “Are you?” Only with every ounce of will she possessed was she able to stifle the cry that had been building all day. She turned away from Keri and cried herself to sleep.
Keri was nowhere close to sleep after that terror. Even Liquorish, the bear with the softest fur in the world, couldn't bring her peace tonight. She began to hear crying, and for a moment was afraid it was hers. That dream, the one at the airport, on that cold December night, was one of the worst, the one that destroyed her heart every time. Not wanting to remember any more of that she sat up and looked around for the noise. Her eyes fell upon Alison. Alison's back was to her, but she could clearly see her shoulders shaking. They seemed to be shaking so violently that Keri marveled that the bed wasn't rattling. “This isn't because I scared her. This is something else.” Keri scanned her memory of the past day for any hint of what might be causing Alison such distress. Keri could remember most things that she saw or read. Her dad had called it a Photographic memory, he had called her a prodigy. Something caught her attention as she replayed the scene from the bus. When she had thrown that stupid book of Alianna’s out the window, some form of movement out of the corner of her eye. She replayed the scene again and this time she saw it. Alison had been helping Trudi hold Alianna. When the book went sailing out of the bus, Alison let go of Ali and put her hands to her mouth. Keri could see the tears forming in her eyes. Fear and anger mixed in the pit of Keri's stomach. It had been Alison who had messed up and let Alianna go, not Trudi, Keri had been miffed at her sister the whole day. It was because Alison had shown loyalty by holding Ali that Keri had invited her over, and it turns out she didn't even deserve such an honor.
But then the fear hit. Alison had also seen her weakness, the chink in her armor, and for that reason Keri couldn't take away from Alison what she had given her. Not yet anyway. If Alison kept showing any signs of feelings of loyalty for Alianna then Keri would have to take steps. She knew that Alianna had Alison's Diary, just as Alison had Her’s. After all Alison had done to Alianna, Keri was fairly sure that Alianna would jump at the chance to join Keri's group. Keri was also confident that Alianna would have no problem handing Alison's diary to her. “The old Switch-er-rue. It doesn't matter which one sits at the table, and which one takes the heat. The goal is still the same, the promise would still be kept.” Keri smiled. If Alison had been looking at her, the smile probably would have reminded her of the Cheshire cat’s; all white polished teeth, and utterly malicious.
Alianna's dream that night was anything but sweet. She found herself standing in a dark space with an even thicker curtain of darkness in front of her. Suddenly a scream rang out from the darkness. “Help me please!” There was such terror and pain in that scream. “It hurts, it burns!” came the cry again. It was a girl's voice crying out. Alianna started to become very scared. She felt like she wanted to run away from the screams and the darkness, but something kept her there, straining to listen, that voice sounded familiar.
“Help me Mama…Ma…MA!” Came a wail so heart wrenching that it triggered something inside her, an instinct perhaps? It was something buried deep inside of who she was. She steeled herself and jumped into the darkness. The screams became louder as she stepped into the darkness. They pulled her forward until she saw a point of light that grew larger as she rushed toward it.
She found herself drawn into the light. When she could see again, she found herself in a kitchen that looked completely different from the one in her home. Spices and herbs hung by the bushel from the walls and ceiling. A large brick fireplace apparently was used for the cooking, for a large copper kettle stood in the middle, but it was not heated by a fire but an array of different colored crystals. These same crystals seemed to give off light for the room as well.
Stunned by the oddness of this kitchen it took her a moment to remember why she was there. A scream from her right quickly reminded her. When she turned her head, she saw a woman dressed in white robes with silver inlays. The woman held in her left hand what looked like a whip, except that it had a crystal attached to the end that was glowing a deep red. The whip rose and then descended upon someone in front of the woman. As it hit, another scream rang out. Alianna dashed around the preparation table and hid behind it. From where she hid however, she could see who the woman was attacking. Huddled on the floor were two girls that seemed to be about her age. One was blond and the other had black hair. The blond-headed girl seemed to be covering the other girl with her body, apparently shielding her from the blows, but Alianna could not see their faces. “I have to help them.” she thought to herself. “They’re in such pain, but what can I do?” The blond girl seemed to slump almost as if she was dying. Before she could think of what she was doing the whip began to descend again and so she leapt on top of the blond girl and it hit her right between the shoulder blades. Alianna’s body stiffened as if electricity were flowing through it, like when she placed a fork in a socket when she was three, except this was 10 times worse. She screamed out in pain and terror. It struck a second time and the pain was something more then pain, something she could not find a word for. The failure of the stone hit the blond girl who lay beneath her brought the blond haired girls face up into the light to look at her. Alianna stared in horror when she saw the girl’s face, because it was her very own face that stared back at her wracked with pain, pale and sweating.
She sat straight up in the bed screaming her head off. She heard crying off in the distance, but in the darkness could not tell if she was still in that awful kitchen, or somewhere else. The idea that she might be safe and sound in her own bed could not seem to make its way through her hysteria. “Mom! Mooom!” She screamed.
Suddenly she was flooded with light as a doorway to her right burst open, and a tall figure rushed into the room and made more light appear. The sudden change from pitch black to bright light had blinded her, which made her scream even more since there was now some stranger in here with her. Then she heard someone call her name, then two strong hands grabbed her arms and shook her gently. “….ianna” She heard, as what was actually going on started to dawn on her. It was her father, that was her father’s voice. “Daddy!” she screamed and tried to fling her arms around him, but he was holding on too tightly. He must have sensed her need for before she could say anything else she felt his strong arms close around her, protecting her from that whip and that woman. “Ali what happened, what’s wrong”. She couldn’t answer him, all she could do was sob against his chest and shake with fright.
“Jonathan is she ok?” Her mother’s terrified voice came from the doorway. From the sound of things, she had both twins in her arms, and they were both screaming. “I don’t know, she won’t answer me. It looks like she had some kind of nightmare, but I haven’t ever heard anyone scream like that. Ali”. He said gently “Ali!” this time a little more forcefully and pushed her away a little and looked down into her eyes, which were shut tight. “Alianna, what happened?” Dads had a certain way that they could say things that, no matter what else was going on, made everything else stop and command all attention on them. “There….there….theree…waaa.sss a..a..a..a”.
“Ali, take a deep breath and let it out.” She did as she was told and after a few more was able to speak more clearly.
“There was darkness, and I heard screaming, and so I ran toward it and then I was in this weird kitchen that looked medieval, and there was a woman in robes and she was whipping two girls at her feet and the whip had a glowing red stone on the end that seemed to make it hurt more. And one of the girls she was whipping was ME! But it wasn’t me, because I was watching her do it, but it was me.”
“Ali It was just a nightmare sweetie,” said her mom from the doorway, still trying to settle down the twins, with little success, however, because they were crying so hard that their faces were turning red. “Jonathan, I’m going to take them downstairs and quiet them, I’ll be up as soon as they fall asleep.” Her Dad nodded his head, as did Alianna. She looked up at her father. “It wasn’t a nightmare dad; I was really there. It was hazy like a real dream when I was walking in the darkness, but as I stepped through the darkness everything became crystal clear, I could see the woman with the whip just like I see you. And before I woke up, I could feel the whip hit me, it felt just like the time I stuck that fork in the socket, and it hurt so badly.” She buried her head in his chest again. It was quite some time before everyone at the Oaksen house was back to sleep, and even longer for Alianna, whose stomach was all tied in knots. She tried to keep her eyes open as long as she could so as not to have to go back to sleep and risk facing that woman again.