At first the move to the sugar bush had seemed like the right choice. As the days passed and sugar time faded into Spring Ajijaak began to regret this choice. With her family Wiinizik hid her sadness, but at home alone she did not. When Ajijaak tried to engage her in conversation she often pretended not to see Ajijaak’s signals. A distance had formed between them and grew wider with the passing of each night.She did not want his affection. She did not even seem to want his presence. He knew he should have taken her to his noko, but here, entrenched in her family, he knew she would not go with him, now.The Spring with all its bright flowers, flowers that Wiinizik usually rejoiced in turned to Summer. She did not get better, but she did not get worse. If only the sisters would come to the village, like they came to the island. The sisters would help her, but the village had its own Midewiwin and they would not trespass on his territory. Ajijaak had gone to him and gotten various concoctions which Wiinizik took to appease him, but they did no good.
It was late evening. Ajijaak had finished his latest drum. It was a beautiful medicine drum made of white cedar, with an elk skin perfectly stretched across its top. He pounded one beat on it. The sound of it sent a shiver through him, it called to a power he had yet to access. Something deep inside of him felt that who ever this drum was created for would have the power to heal his woman. The villages would be meeting soon. It had been a long time since he had attended a large meeting. For weeks he had been practicing dances to share with the people.
From his cradleboard his son cooed to him. Ajijaak went to his boy and unwrapped him from his binding. The soft root and moss fibers that absorbed the baby’s liquid needed to be changed. He washed his son with the water Wiinizik had prepared for him. Once the baby was clean, Ajijaak lay him down on a pallet and changed the content of his cradleboard. His son kicked his strong brown legs. He bright eyes formed contended slits in his face as he cooed and shrieked his delight.
His son smiled up at him. As always a sense of awe and thanksgiving passed through Ajijaak. If only Wiinzik’s Uncle Makade-amik would give this baby a name. He had yet to dream of a name.Sometimes it took many seasons for the namer to dream a name. He prayed it would not be so for his son. He needed to know that his child’s life would be better than his own had been. A name would tell him a bit about his baby’s destiny.
Once he finished with the cradleboard Ajijak picked up his son and held him in his arms. Silently he asked, Who are you little one?The baby laughed clearly revealing the white of his first tooth. It had at last broken through the skin. He had been very fractious when his little tooth was making its way to the surface. The last few days, his fussiness had driven Wiinizik out of the house often. Where she went Ajijaak did not know.
At dusk Wiinizik returned. Ajijaak showed her the little tooth in their son’s mouth. He had thought the sight of it would bring Wiinizik some joy. It did not. She looked at it and said, “Such noise for such a little scrap.” She took the baby from Ajijaak and went to the shadowed side of the house to nurse her child.
Inside the hurt of rejection began to swirl. Ajijaak struggled to push it away. All his life he had suffered rejection. Here in the village, though he provided well for his family, and was honest and courteous, he was still a speechless man. It was not that he was looked down upon, so much as it was that his limitations made him obviously different. His gift, also made his different too. When he danced he drew people to his spirit and the spirits beyond earth’s vision. When Midewiwin came to buy special drums for healing, they would tell him, of the power of his drums. These things comforted him, but they also set him firmly apart. To be so deficient and yet so gifted was a strange combination. It left him caught in a world where he exceeded expectations or he fell far below them in the eyes of others. Wiinizik’s family admired his skills, but barely tolerated his lacks. Often, when they thought he could not hear them, the women would shake their head over the poor choice Misko-amik had made for his granddaughter. They thought that Wiinizik’s feigned happiness was Ajijaak’s fault. Was it his fault? If he could force her to listen to him, if he could encourage her with words she needed to hear would she get better?
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When Wiinizik finished nursing the baby, she wrapped him in his cradleboard. She came to Ajijaak and said, “Today I went to my uncle’s house. My aunt told me that the Meeting of theMidewiwin will be held in our village. This is good. Your medicine drums are powerful and will be sought after.” This was a rare compliment, from she who once lavished them upon him.
Ajijaak nodded his head, grateful to grasp at any morsel of kindness she threw him.
She continued, “My uncle told me that he has dreamed the baby’s name. He said that we will wait until the village meeting. If your family is able to come, we will share the naming ceremony with them.”
If they came, they must come! In his heart, he believed his noko would be able to help Wiinizik. For the first time in months true hope took hold inside of him. He signed his thanks to Wiinizik. Her face remained expressionless as she said, “I knew you would like that. I know it is hard to live with me now. I am trying Ajijaak. I am trying to come back to you and myself.” She turned away from him and went to her pallet. She wrapped herself up tightly.
Ajijaak went to her and motioned to her about eating.
“I can’t see you Ajijaak. Just let me sleep. I am tired.”
Always sleep. Sleep. He wanted to ask her if dreams came to her. He wanted to hold her and rock her and bring her back to him. He wanted to know the joy they had once shared as their bodies merged. He turned away from his woman, and went to the fire to cook his own fish. For now he would hold on to the hope his noko held the answer to this sickness. She had tended many women during her life. Help was coming, he just must be patient. He could be patient. Wiinizik was his life.
*
The Midewiwin lodge was repaired. The village was ready. Even Wiinizik’s mood had lifted in anticipation of the festivities. Ajijaak had his dance stories memorized and he could imagine himself before the fire, telling the stories he had learned from the birch bark book he had copied out. The first guest arrived. A group of canoes from the nearest village. All through out the day, canoes came, or people arrived on foot. The village had temporary shelters springing up all around it. There was power in community and much gossip. As the men sat around the fire that night they talked. One man said the Sioux were on the warpath at the fringes of the plains. Others told of marriages that were being arranged. Ajijaak was only idly listening until he heard the a name that caught all of his attention.
The speaker said, “Mikinaak’s youngest daughter is of age. She has spent the last cycle of seasons with the Sisters. They say she has much power, and is not proud. A young man, also Midewiwin desires her for his woman. I doubt Mikinaak will give his youngest to the likes of Wabooz. He is a smart fellow, but with such a name, one wonders.”
The topic turned to other things, but Ajijaak’s mind recalled the night Ziibi had told him she was his woman. Such a little bit of girl then, so sure of herself. What would she look like now? Had she become as beautiful as her sister? He doubted it. As much as he cherished his own woman, she did not have that startling beauty that Miinan possessed. What would it be like to see Miinan again? Would she stir old feeling inside of him? No, it was not possible. He was bound to his woman. He returned to listening. It seemed the Sioux might be coming into the forest because of a drought across the prairies. This could be very bad. The Sioux were ruthless and united in war. The People, of whom Ajijaak was a member usually settled their scores as individuals or families, not has large war parties. It would be bad, if the Sioux did attack. It was one of the things that would be discussed once the rest of the villages arrived.
*
The next morning when Ajijaak was out checking his fish traps, he saw a canoe gliding toward him. In it were three women. As they neared he recognized the Sisters. Between them sat a young woman he did not recognize, and yet his spirit was drawn to her. He remained holding his empty basket just staring. One of the sisters called, “Ajijaak, don’t just stand their, pull us in.”
Ajijaak dropped the basket and waded out into the water.