The pallet was lonely without Miinan. It was also cold. There was no one for Ziibi to warm her feet against. She wanted to go crawl in bed with Noko, but Noko would not let her because she kicked too much and pulled the blankets off. Through the small hole in the roof that let out the smoke, Ziibi could see the stars. Was Miinan cold? Was she lonely and scared? Of course she was. What visions would come to her, what dreams? Beyond the walls of the house, she could hear the sounds of the night. An owl hooted, a wolf howled. Ziibi reached out her hand, but Mikwam was not there. It had been several days since she had last seen Mikwam. She called softly to her guardian. The wolf was instantly beside her. His eyes glowed like the moon. She said, “Go, look after Miinan.”

Mikwam shook out his silver coat, but he did not go. He spun around three times and lay down at the foot of Ziibi’s pallet. He was not going to leave her. Ziibi sighed. Why did she keep trying to instruct a guide that only did what he wanted to? Who was watching over Miinan? She bet her sister was crying now. She closed her eyes and saw in her mind her sister’s huddled form. Her shoulders were shaking. Her face was buried in her hands. A low fire burned in the hut. Poor Miinan. If only she loved her own company, now would be a good time, a time to be free from chores, a time to focus and find the path within her. Miinan’s shoulder’s shook harder. Unlike Ziibi was afraid to be alone.

*

The stars did not offer much light. If only Ajijaak had Ziibi’s skill his left big toe would not be bleeding. He had tripped over a nasty cedar root and it had punctured his toe. He passed the graveyard without looking at it. The last thing he wanted to see was a spirit of an old neighbor or ancestor. Finally he reached the place where the menstrual huts were. It was a desolate place. He crept to the hut that had smoke coming from it. Inside he heard Miinan crying. How he longed to comfort her, to hold her and chase every fear away. Her sobs became more ragged. He could not bear it. He went to the hut opening, and pulled the flap back.

Miinan screamed. She covered her face with her hands and said, “Please do not hurt me. Please. I am poison, if you take me, you might die. Please.” Ajijaak, had not thought he would frighten her, but he had.

Ajijaak tried to get her to look at him. She cowered before him. Would she not fight for herself, defend her purity? This confused him. He never knew her fear was paralyzing. He went to her and gently touched her robe.

Again she cried out, “Please, no, no, no.”

He grasped her hands and pulled them from her face. Her eyes were screwed shut. If only he could get her to look at him. He blew into her face, her eyes popped open. The next instant she had her arms around him. Her tears wet his bare shoulder. This was the most important moment of his life thus far.

“I was so scared. Every noise I heard I thought it was some one or something coming to hurt me. It is so cold tonight and I do not like the sound of the wind. It sounds like spirits crying.” She shuddered against him.

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Gently he stroked her hair. There was so much he wanted to say to her, but could not. His actions would have to speak for him. Did she understand what he was trying to tell her?

All the sudden, she pulled away from him. “Oh, Ajijaak, what have I done? Noko says a young woman can kill a man who touches her, when she has her first flow…” her voice trailed off and she blushed.

He had been told the same tales, but he was not afraid. He had heard other stories, stories the men did not tell before women. Coarse stories about conquests, conquests that sickened Ajijaak. Too often men raped lone young women in their huts. Some men’s hearts were fashioned only for lust his had been made for love, love of this woman who knelt before him. If he spent this night with her, if the sun rose upon them in the morning, he could claim her, as his own that was their way. He signed for her that he would stay.

She shook her head. “You should not be here. Ziibi is right I am selfish. I have used you. I am so sorry. Please you must leave before any more harm is done.” Her sweet lips trembled. She was trying so hard to be brave and unselfish. Deep down, he knew she was neither. He could stay, he could take advantage of this moment, but what would it cost them? Mikinak could annul their partnership. They could run away. She was still crying, how could he leave her? It was obvious she did not want him to. He did not want to. He motioned that he would stay, but he would not touch her.

Behind him the door flap opened. He turned it was his own noko. How had she managed to come here in the dark? Stupid question, she was blind, she was always in the dark. She wagged her finger at him. In a hard voice she said, “You are as foolish as your father. Has your mother not suffered enough? Would you disgrace her further? Here you are tempting the powers that be with your very life. The life that is most precious to your mother. Go home now; I have words to speak to this young woman. I will stay with her.”

There was great wrath in Noko’s tone. He dare not disobey her. With one last look at Miinan he fled. Miinan was scared and she should be, his noko was fierce and she would speak harsh truths. Anger and guilt coursed through him. He had brought this upon Miinan. He who only wanted to comfort her…no that was not true, he had also wanted to have her, to claim her and now, now that his noko knew of his transgression…what would happen?

Ahead he saw the shadow of a wolf cross his path. The wolf turned and stared at him with his great glowing eyes. Eyes that seemed to speak to him. A small voice said, “So you are still alive?”

It was Ziibi. The wolf disappeared in the trees.

Angrily he walked over to where she stood. Had she told on him? Had she told his noko? He grasped her hard with both hands. Her bright eyes looked up at him. They did not contain a trace of fear. They did contain something he could not name, something that was visible even in the dark. She remained very still, waiting to see what he would do next. He let go of her. She had done nothing. His noko had hearing ears and a seeing mind. She had not needed the help of this child to discover where he had gone.

From her bag Ziibi took a bag made from the body of a gull. “Come with me to the river. We must cleanse you from my sister’s magic.”

He remained where he stood.

Her voice became suddenly stern. “Be a fool if you must. No one can protect a man who chooses the fool’s way. I feel sorry for you mother.”

Again his mother. He must think of his mother. Ziibi little though she was, was honest in her desire to help him and protect him. He nodded.

A look of relief came to her face. He followed her to the river. With strange words she smeared the gooey substance on his chest, arms and face. There was a rhythm in her voice as she spoke in the sacred language. He felt something dark lift from him as he washed himself in the river. Had Ziibi had taken the curse he had laid upon himself? Could a little girl do such a thing?