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The Demonologues
Chapter 027

Chapter 027

The skeleton thought itself clever as it flew through the air.

People might be welcoming to a girl with horns, but a walking skeleton was unlikely to get a warm reception. It didn’t feel like having to explain to frightened guardsman that it wasn’t actually an undead. That would be an awkward conversation indeed, since it itself wasn’t exactly sure what the difference was either.

So instead, it flew. Although “flew” was a bit of an exaggeration since everyone knows that bones are incapable of sustaining flight. In truth it had simply thrown itself into the air with a burst of telekinesis. Velocity alone kept it aloft, with only a few small pushes needed to ensure it was going in the right direction.

Flight spells existed, but they were mana intensive and the skeleton did not have much to spare at the moment. They were also designed for long distance travel, while the skeleton intended to only go a few blocks.

The skeleton’s ability to enjoy the experience lasted only a few seconds before it reached its destination and realized that it had failed to take landing into account. In the amount of time it took to become aware of its previous lapse in judgement, it had already crash landed, scaring off a few stray dogs in the process. Any ideas on how to avoid falling to the ground at near-terminal velocity would have to wait until the next attempt.

Whatever force that held the bones together had been strong enough to prevent them from scattering on impact, but the skeleton still lay where it was for a brief moment before it rose and inspected itself. Immortal it may be, maybe, but Tank had taught it the hard way that it was far from indestructible. At least it was in the correct location, a narrow alley outside of the inn across from the monastery.

After confirming that it had no breaks, cracks, or fractures, it sat back down along one of the alley walls, out of sight of anyone that may walk past. A black blur formed around its already black hand, and a faintly glowing crystal cylinder appeared shortly after. It paused though, hesitating before drawing on the mana inside.

Did it really want to change back so soon? It could think so much more clearly as it was, and it had so much to do. And it never wanted to be the skeleton when it was Indigo. But… No. It had to become Indigo again. The moments after changing back were always unpleasant, but it was best to get it done quickly. Also, people would notice if she wasn’t back by morning.

The skeleton pulled mana from the crystal to replenish its own diminished supply, and began to grow flesh.

* * *

If I hadn’t been sitting on the ground, I would have fallen over. Going through a full body transformation was never easy, especially when the nerves appeared and reconnected with each other. Compared to pins and needles, this was more like knives and a flamethrower.

At least it was over with. At least that part was over with.

I hated being the skeleton, and this time had been worse than usual. The fact that it became difficult to tell the difference between skin and clothing was the least of my problems. If sitting naked in an alley was the worst thing that had happened, I would have called myself lucky.

“Reforming behind an inn?! Really? And now I’m down another set of clothes! At least the dresses are easier to replace.”

I tried to focus on the grumbling as long as I could while I got dressed. A bit of anger and annoyance would help make the oncoming freak out go by faster. One change of clothes later, I had to sit back down. After being the skeleton, it always took a while to get my head back on straight, but this time I had even more to worry about.

“I let myself get kidnapped. Again. Oh well.”

Being in a public place had made me overconfident. I thought that I was untouchable with all of those people around me. I didn’t know what Verdis had done to get me out of the tavern, but I should have seen it coming. I really should have.

I had played video games. I had played tabletops. I had read real spell books. Finding weird ability combos to metagame and break the system was something I was good at. In this life I was probably better than ever before. It was only pride that had convinced me that other people couldn’t do the same. I had no one but myself to blame for getting caught like that.

But inside that mindscape thing…

“What the hell had I been thinking! Even in the real necropolis I had never allowed a zombie to catch me.”

Despite all of the notes left in the witch’s book, there was a lot I didn’t know about myself. It was incomplete. My soul, for example, had only been mentioned in the letter she had written once she became aware of her impending death. It had definitely been a last minute addition. My apparent immortality was another mystery. I suspected that the two were related, but…

Neither was something I wanted to test. Nobody would be stupid enough to try and find out how far something like that extended. The experiment that told me what could kill me would also be the experiment that did kill me.

It was a good thing Verdis had the common sense to end the spell when he did. Not like he had any real choice. Getting spawn camped by zombies would have screwed over his entire plan by itself. At that point, I probably didn’t even need to freak him out further with that little suicide.

I didn’t doubt him when he had said that he wasn’t afraid to die. Most likely he had only expected us to kill each other a few times before one of us finally gave in. Luckily, he was too smart to actually call my bluff. No way was I going to stick around and let myself get torn to pieces. Even letting myself get eaten once was insane on my part.

Verdis…

I hoped he didn’t bleed out. I hated the guy, but I didn’t want to kill him. There’s a big difference between saying that someone should die, and being the person who actually takes the life. Most people go their entire lives without needing to kill anyone. What would it say about me if I had blood on my hands within a month of rejoining civilization? Nothing good, that’s for sure.

At least the skeleton had been aware of that much.

Goddamn I hated that thing. Mostly because it was still me.

I wouldn’t try to deny it. I wouldn’t claim it was another person or some split personality. It was me. It was entirely me. I just didn’t think like me when I was it. If thinking like the skeleton came from a pill I could swallow, a plant I could smoke, or a potion I could drink, I probably wouldn’t have minded. I’d probably love becoming the skeleton if it was like that. I hated it because I never chose to become the skeleton. It was always something that happened to me without my consent.

A shudder ran down my spine as I thought about my most recent failure to keep it contained. I was no longer in the necropolis where it had nothing to do besides speedreading a book or two before changing back to what I considered myself.

This time had been different. This time, I had wondered if I even wanted to be me again. It had only been a few seconds of hesitation, but hesitation it had been none the less. But was that a problem that came from the skeleton, or from Indigo?

Either way, I don’t think I would have liked the answer.

I don’t know how long I spent behind the inn while scenes from that night replayed themselves in my mind. Once started, I couldn’t stop it. All I could do was ride out the worst and hope that it ended quickly. Occasionally, people would walk by the mouth of the alley as they went about their business, but I was huddled far enough in the shadows that none of them noticed me. Nobody even looked in my direction.

When my mind had finally settled down, more from exhaustion than any efforts on my own part, I stood, but didn’t take any steps.

“What now? Do I go back to my room at the monastery and pretend that nothing happened? What do I tell Haylen? What next?”

I didn’t want to keep secrets from her. Or Kearse. Or Mayra, if she was able to come with us. There was still another week before our pilgrimage started. I had been planning on telling them more about myself once we left the city… but this?

This was something that affected the here and now. This was something immediately important. What should I do?

Verdis’ injuries wouldn’t go unnoticed, and anyone who knew me would be able to guess that I had been involved. People don’t just accidentally lose their hands and feet. And they definitely don’t accidently lose their hands and feet with such perfect precision!

I couldn’t handle this level of bullshit! I didn’t ask to get abducted! I didn’t ask to be created as some quasi-immortal antithesis of nature! Was it fate? Was this how fate worked? Was I doomed to be the center of the world’s attention?

I didn’t ask for much. Good food. Good beer. Good books. Good sex. That’s all I wanted, really. I didn’t need a “quiet slow life,” but did the nature of my being mean that I couldn’t go about my day without being the center of someone’s attention?

I didn’t want to be the main character of some crappy story. That seemed unlikely given this world’s lack of demon lords or other such world ending evil… But still! I didn’t want the spotlight. I’d even turn down the role of a support character. Why couldn’t I be part of the stage crew? Why couldn’t I be the person who painted the props, or pulled on the ropes to open the curtains?

“As children, we pretend that we are special. As adults, we pretend that we are normal.”

I couldn’t remember who said that. Maybe nobody did. Maybe it was just something I had come up with on my own after eating one too many mushrooms. It didn’t matter. I was special. I was the embodiment of being cursed with an interesting life. No. This wasn’t interesting. This sucked. There was nothing else to it.

Even in Peninsula I hadn’t had this many bad days.

“Was I really happier in the necropolis?”

Maybe.

Life there had been depressing to the point of almost constant apathy, but that was only because I hadn’t known how to leave. Take that away, and… it hadn’t been half bad.

I had done what I wanted, when I wanted, how I wanted. True, the food had gotten boring pretty fast, but there were no expectations. I didn’t have to worry about offending anyone or ending up on the wrong side of the law. There were no people pinning their hopes on me. Nobody had to give up their own happiness in favor of my own. The zombies were a pain in the ass, but they had been a minor inconvenience by the end.

As strange as it may seem, I considered myself an introvert. I liked to think that I had decent social skills, but that didn’t mean that I felt any real need to make use of them. Weland was interesting, but I never would have spoken to him if I hadn’t wanted to buy a sword. Father Gregor reminded me of a cool uncle type of guy, but I had always ignored him unless he was the one to start a conversation. Corlo was like an action movie badass, but it was only by happenstance that I even knew his name. If Haylen hadn’t dragged me out of my room this morning, I would have been more than happy to stay inside.

I sighed, and gave myself a few slaps to the face. This wasn’t getting me anywhere.

“I might as well just go back to the monastery. If I’m going to work myself into a depression, I might as well do it in the comfort of a bed.”

* * *

I managed to hide in my room for three days before Haylen finally threatened to break my door down if I didn’t let her in. When I opened it, she was glaring daggers at me. Kearse and Mayra were with her, and while they didn’t share the half-elf’s anger, they still looked concerned.

It was understandable. My room was a mess. I probably didn’t look much better as I stood in the doorway wrapped in my blankets. The depression had been somewhat avoided, but my anxiety was at an all time high. The main reason I gave in and opened the door was because I had been having mini panic attacks every time I heard the bell ring.

“Have you been drinking?” Haylen asked, breaking the silence that was starting to become uncomfortable.

“What gave you that idea?”

“Oh. Right. There’s like… eight empty wine bottles on the floor, and I probably reek of alcohol.”

I would have smelled like weed too, but this wasn’t my room and I didn’t want to stink it up for whoever had it next.

“Are you alright?”

“No.”

Stolen from its rightful author, this tale is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.

The conversation had already gone on longer than I would have liked. Unfortunately, I had acknowledged their existence, and wouldn’t be able to escape the social obligation that easily. I waved the three of them in and shuffled back to my bed.

They all tried to talk at the same time, but I pulled the blankets tighter around my head and shouted.

“One at a time! Even sober I wouldn’t be able to tell what you’re all saying.”

I couldn’t see them, wrapped up as I was, but I heard them mumble to each other while they all offered to speak last.

“Indigo, what happened?” Haylen asked.

“Shit happened. This is me dealing with it. And yes, I’m aware that I’m handling it poorly.”

“Indigo, what happened,” Haylen asked again, more demanding this time. “And don’t think that saying ‘I don’t want to talk about it’ is going to be enough. Something happened, and we need to know.”

“Verdis got me,” I growled from inside my quilted force field. “He grabbed me out from the middle of a tavern and whisked me off to some creepy lab in his basement. Once he realized I might actually pose a threat to him, he tried to kill me. So I ripped his hands and feet off. That’s why I’ve been staying in my room. That’s why I’ve been drinking. I think you can guess why I don’t want to talk about it.”

I was being rude, and tried to dial it back before I said something I’d regret. They weren’t helping though. None of them were saying anything, and I could practically hear their eyes bulging at the bombshell I had dropped.

“Changing topics… Kearse, Mayra, long time no see. How have you been?”

“Woah!” Haylen interrupted. “No, no no. We are not changing topics! Why didn’t you tell us? How has nobody heard about this? Mayra, did you know?”

I opened the blanket enough to see Mayra flush with embarrassment.

“I… heard a bit. Everyone knows that Verdis is injured, but only the other archmages know how badly. They don’t want to make another scandal out of it. I suspected that Indigo was involved, but you said she’d been here for days so… I hoped that I was wrong and didn’t say anything.”

Haylen sat down on the bed and embraced me in the angriest hug I’d ever been given. I didn’t know if she was trying to comfort me or strangle me, and she probably didn’t know either.

“There. Now everyone’s on the same page,” I said, sounding monotone even to myself. “Can we change the subject now? Please?”

Kearse came to my rescue.

“Uh… I got some mules to pull the wagon.”

“Yes! Wonderful Kearse, savior of damsels in distress! Protect me from the scary half-elf!”

Haylen turned her glare on Kearse, silencing him, but Mayra picked up where he left off.

“And I was given permission to join you on the pilgrimage.”

Haylen waved her hands in the air, trying to chop apart any line of conversation not linking myself to her.

“Indigo, this is serious! This is why I wanted you to stay in the monastery in the first place! Why didn’t you say anything? We could have helped. And what are you going to do about this? And get rid of those blankets. I’m tired of talking to fluffy blob.”

She grabbed my wrappings and pulled them off my in a single jerk. I covered my breasts and crotch and gave a high picked shriek of surprise. They were already covered by my clothes, but Kearse instinctively did an about face to preserve my modesty.

I snorted in amusement, Mayra laughed, and Haylen was able to stop herself after a single small chuckle. Kearse was entirely unamused, but it had helped to lower the tension in the room.

“But what are you going to do?” Haylen sighed.

I leaned back against the wall and let my legs hang of the edge of the bed. After giving it a bit of thought, I shrugged.

“Nothing, I guess. I think that if I do anything else, it would only make things worse. And I’m sorry I didn’t say anything. I was freaked out and wasn’t thinking right. I’m still not thinking right.”

“You’re really going to do nothing? Mayra,” she said, turning to the mage in the room, “what about your guild? Verdis might not be a problem if he’s injured, but will anyone else be coming after her?”

“I don’t think so?” Mayra replied. She sounded unsure of herself, but gained confidence as she went on. “No, I don’t think so. Verdis was a loose string they’ve been wanting an excuse to cut for a while. They’d rather let him take the fall than let the guild go down with him. And you told me she’s a citizen now, correct? They know the church and the paladins would take her side, and that’s not a fight they’d want to start. As long as she lays low and doesn’t do anything to antagonize the guild itself, they’ll probably be content to let her be Verdis’ problem.”

“More like letting Verdis be my problem. At least this means I won’t be getting kidnapped any time soon.”

“So then what do we do?” Haylen insisted. “Do we just pretend nothing happens and go about business as usual until we leave? It just doesn’t seem right that Verdis isn’t facing proper justice for this!”

That seemed like my cue to interrupt.

“I think that I, of all people, have the right to pass judgement on Verdis,” I said. “If I wanted him dead, I would have killed him Ripping out organs isn’t any harder than ripping off limbs.”

Perhaps it was the seriousness in my tone, but they all looked at me with expressions that I couldn’t read. They certainly weren’t used to seeing me angry. Or being deliberately intimidating.

“Laying low is fine by me,” I continued. “If anything, I’d rather just leave now and wait for the rest of you at the first town.”

I paused, and from the shared glances around me I could tell that the others were thinking the same thing I was, and were checking to see if everyone else felt the same.

“Actually… can we do that?” I asked. “Our departure date was basically picked at random, right? It’s not like we have to wait until then, right? We already have the essentials. If we start packing today, we could probably head out tomorrow. I know it’s sudden, and a lot to ask of you, but can we? Can we just… go? Please?”

Their glances redoubled, looking to see if anyone would veto the idea or give a reason that it couldn’t happen.

“I… just might have packed everything I’ll need the night we first made plans at Kearse’s home,” Haylen confessed.

Kearse turned his head and looked as far away from Haylen as possible.

“Same for me,” he mumbled.

Mayra was the only one left, and appeared to be doing some calculations in her mind.

“I haven’t started packing yet,” she said, “but I’ve notified the guild that I’ll be taking the pilgrimage. So, yes. I think I can be ready to leave tomorrow. I don’t think that Uncle Meyer will mind.”

I smiled for the first time in days. I was still nervous, twichy, and anxious, and I would probably remain that way until Orlis was no more than a speck on the horizon, but having a goal helped.

* * *

While Mayra went home to pack, the rest of us were running around the city doing some last minute shopping. Haylen was reluctant to let me leave the monastery, but since I was serving as the group’s storage depot, my presence was necessary. Kearse was the one who convinced her to let me come when he mentioned that it wouldn’t be good to let me lock myself in my room again. I didn’t know if I wanted to punch him, or hug him for that.

Our time spent getting supplies took longer than we expected. Individually we were well prepared, but it seemed as though none of us had thought of what we might need as a group. Every time I opened my storage space to put something inside, we noticed another item that we might need.

Fodder for the mules. Another pair of tents. More hash for myself. My natural hoarding tendencies ensured that we had more than we needed, but there was always something else that one of us wanted. Then Mayra caught up with us in the afternoon when we had stopped for lunch, and the process started all over again.

When evening came and we went our separate ways, each of us were footsore and tired. Haylen though, decided to follow me to my room.

“Are you going to be alright on your own tonight?” she asked while sitting down on my bed.

I took a slow breath and sat down next to her.

“I’ll be fine. Today was a good distraction. If I have trouble sleeping tonight, it’ll only be because I’m excited about tomorrow.”

She put her arm around me again for a hug, but without the anger she had been displaying that morning. It was a little awkward, but it was the normal kind of awkwardness that passes quickly.

“Sorry again about this morning. I blame the stress, but I still knew that I shouldn’t have done that. And then I was acting like a bit of a bitch when you came in, and you didn’t deserve that either. You were right to be angry at me. Sorry.”

Haylen didn’t say anything at first, and only gave me a gentle squeeze.

“Thank you,” she responded after a few more moments of silence. “I know I get a little… intense when I start focusing on something. And I know I tend to stick my foot in my mouth a lot when I’m talking to you. So you saying that means a lot to me. Don’t worry. Once we start the pilgrimage, everything will turn out for the better.

“Why do I feel like you just jinxed us?”

“Because you’re a pessimist?”

“There’s nothing wrong with being a pessimist. If I’m right, I’m prepared for the worst. If I’m wrong, then everything is fine. If I get my hopes up, I let my guard down, and that’s when things start getting bad. I think I’ll just keep my expectations low, and be happy when you prove me wrong.”

It wasn’t until Haylen put her other arm around me that I noticed the tears in my eyes.

“Thank you,” I whispered. “I could really use a hug right now,” I said, even quieter.

That night, she didn’t let go of me once.

* * *

The next day started early with Haylen waking me at sunrise. By the time anyone else in the monastery had even begun to rise, the two of us had already eaten breakfast, taken a very thorough bath, and walked out the front gates.

From there, we made our way to the temple street, and I was a little surprised when we found Kearse and Mayra already waiting for us. I was more surprised by the small crowd of people that were also outside the Arlonian temple.

“Why are there so many people here?” I asked.

“They’re other pilgrims,” Haylen answered as the four of us joined the larger group. “Or they’re people like us, just starting their journey. Although, we’ll probably be going farther than most of them. I don’t see anyone that looks like a noble or a paladin candidate. I could be wrong though. It’s not like Mayra looks much like a noble right now.”

Mayra glanced sideways at Haylen who was decked out in her new armor. Compared to a half elf in full military gear, even I was practically invisible.

“And we’re all here because…?”

“For the blessing,” my three companions answered in sync.

“We’re waiting for a priest,” Haylen explained. “It shouldn’t be long.”

She had barely stopped speaking when Father Gregor appeared at the top of the temple’s steps. A susurration went through the crowd as the people who I assumed were Orlisian natives recognized him. The foreigners also seemed to be in a good mood once they realized that his presence was apparently a good thing.

“Usually it’s just a brother of the church that gives the blessing,” Haylen responded to my questioning look. “I think Father Gregor is here today because of us. So… take it as an honor.”

He was probably here mostly for her. Although I was impressed that he had somehow kept up with our quick schedule change.

“We do not take the pilgrimage simply because it is a holy journey,” Gregor announced. “It is our journeys that make the pilgrimage holy. I thank you, those who have chosen to visit us in our humble city. I thank you, those who now leave their homes to learn the wisdom of our neighbors. I thank all of you, people of the empire, for seeking to understand what it means to be people of the empire.”

Father Gregor touched four fingers to his heart before holding his palm out to the masses, and he shone.

“I beseech Arlon, our first emperor, to give these, his people, the strength and courage they need to reach their destinations safely.”

The light surrounding him brightened, and I felt pain. My eyes burned, and my horns felt like they had been thrown into a rock polisher. I tried to squeeze my eyes shut and block it out, but the blessing pierced through me to my very bones and I had to stop myself from screaming.

“I pray to Arlon, our god, to support these, his people, so that all of their good deeds may come to fruition.”

My legs felt weak, and I could barely stand, but somehow, I couldn’t fall either. Something had me gripped more tightly than any telekinesis I could possibly manage. I could move. I was sure of it. But I couldn’t try. It was no longer my own will keeping me on my feet. I hoped it was some remnant of the demon whose bones I now called my own, but I knew that wasn’t the case.

Gods, I now knew, were utterly terrifying.

Gregors blessing continued, and I heard every word was like a knife wound. Physically, it was more intense and precise than any pain I had experienced. Another part of me however, felt bliss, and I knew it was a soul. My soul, basking in the radiance like it had been dying of thirst and found an oasis in the desert.

I wanted to scream, from the pain. I wanted to shout for joy at the ecstacy. I wanted to hide in fear of what I was witnessing.

When father Gregor finally stopped, I wobbled. The agony ended and I felt relief. The rapture disappeared, and I felt hollow. The mind numbing panic remained and did exactly as described. Dazed, I was oblivious to the world around me until I felt Kearse give me a slight nudge.

“You alright?” he asked.

“I have no idea. I’ve… never seen something like that before.”

He nodded as if he understood.

“I’ve only been given a blessing a few times. The last one was at the beginning of the expedition. We all know Arlon is watching out for us, but it’s different when you can really feel it. You felt it to, right?”

I nodded, not sure how to explain what I had just been through. I didn’t want to explain. Soon, but not yet. Not here or now.

“Yah. I definitely felt it.”

“Fuck. Am I gonna have to go through that in every city we pass through? Even if it’s only once per kingdom, I might not be able to handle it. And holy shit! I kinda figured that gods were real here, but… holy shit!”

Kearse grinned, oblivious to my inner turmoil, and gave me a pat on the back.

“Come on. The wagon’s down the street a ways. Let’s get going.”

I followed silently, still unsure freaking out was appropriate.

At the wagon we were greeted by Kearse’s family. I spoke to them mechanically, apologizing for taking their son away early, and thanking them for allowing him to come with us. Mayra’s uncle was also there, and the sound of his gruff voice broke me out of my trance slightly when I realized he was talking to me.

“Bring my niece back in one piece. And if I find out you got her into any sort of trouble, I’ll make what you did to Verdis seem like a stubbed toe.

“Y-yes sir.”

He glared down at me and held out a hand. When I shook it, he gave a curt nod and turned back to talk to the niece that was now scolding him for trying to scare her friend. He and I both knew that his words were correct, and he didn’t flinch at her lecturing tone. I didn’t question how he had found out about me and Verdis. If anyone outside of the mages guild knew even half the truth of that night, it would be him.

I crawled into the back of Kearse’s covered wagon, and waited for everyone to finish saying their goodbyes. When father Gregor showed up to speak with Haylen, I huddled further into the corner, but he found me anyway.

“How are you feeling?” he asked with a smile.

“It’s been a weird month.”

His smile became somewhat sad, but he chuckled anyway.

“It’s going to be a weird couple of years. Our empire is large, and you’ve only seen a tiny piece of it.”

“Good weird, or bad weird?”

He stopped to think, and I caught a glimpse of memory in his eyes. For the first time, I wondered who the man called Father Gregor really was. What had his life been like, and what had made him the man he was today? What series of events had led him here to this point?

“I think that’s up to you,” he finally answered. “And a little fate, I suppose. Or chance.”

I didn’t really know what to say about that. I didn’t really want the future to be up to me. I barely knew what I’d be doing in two days’ time. How could I plan for something months or even years in advance? I trusted fate and chance even less though, so I was my best option.

“Keep in touch, will you?” Gregor asked.

“Keep in touch?”

"Write me some letters. Tell me how your trip is doing. Or a message spell if you feel like wasting gold. I might not be able to respond, but at least you’ll know that someone is listening. You’ve chosen your friends well, but that doesn’t always make it easier to talk with them about your problems.”

Now I was fully confused.

“Why are you so concerned about me? Besides the obvious.”

Father Gregor shrugged.

“It comes with being a priest. I see someone that’s lost and feel compelled to help. We’re nosy like that. And you’re more lost than most. I think this pilgrimage might be what you need to find your path. There are many roads in the empire, but you’ll know yours when you see it.”

“Thanks,” I said. “No promises about the letters though.”

“Well, I’m sure I’ll see you again when you make it back here, and you can tell me all about it then. I’d love to hear about the empire from a fresh perspective.”

“I’ll think about it.”

“That all I ask. Have a safe trip.” He turned to leave, but stopped. “Oh, and don’t worry about what Damfeld said. If he causes a fuss, I’ll just remind him of a few of the things that happened on his pilgrimage.”

Gregor and his smile both left, and I was alone again. It was a good thing the wagon didn’t have any doors, or I would have locked myself in. The father’s words had been reassuring, but the stress was still close to overwhelming.

Soon, Kearse jumped up to the driver’s seat and the girls joined me in the back. The wagon started moving, and I plastered on a fake smile, pretending that I wasn’t in the middle of a nervous breakdown.

This was going to be a long trip.