After waking up with a nasty hangover, bodily needs forced me out of the wagon.

I had only been disturbed once during my binge. I didn’t see who it was, but I could feel them pressing against the barrier I had made. I dropped it just long enough to hurl an empty bottle out the back. I didn’t throw it hard enough to hurt, and I wasn’t aiming, so it might not have even hit them. Whoever it had been clearly got the message though, because I had been left alone after that.

I felt like shit, both physically and mentally. The alcohol hadn’t helped my bad mood, and the sleep it gave me hadn’t exactly been the restful kind. Once my liver had finished its job, it had teamed up with my bladder to slap at my head until I woke up.

Now, staying in the wagon bed for more than a few minutes was no longer an option. I tried not to stumble as I climbed out and hobbled off to the nearest bush to relieve myself.

We had apparently passed the dividing line between North and South Orlis. The shrub and cacti filled desert had been left behind, replaced by what I would describe as a “warm rainforest.” I had been expecting a full blown jungle, but like the earlier desert, I had no experience with such places and the subtle aspects of their definition were beyond my knowledge.

When I got off the road itself, the sound of marching feet was overshadowed by birdsong coming from the tall trees. If I hadn’t been hungover, I probably would have stopped to listen. Instead I emptied my bladder as quickly as possible, cursing anything with wings.

“I miss Flock. At least she knew how to shut up. Even when she was angry, she made less noise than this.”

When I rejoined the formation and climbed back into the wagon, I didn’t bother to block it off again. I could be spiteful if I wanted, but I had made my point, and didn’t see the need to act petty. At least… pettier than I already had.

I pulled out a few blankets and my spare sleeping bags, and piled them up into a comfy nest. There were still a few days before we reached Orlis, and I knew that I would have to talk to Haylen again soon, but I wasn’t in a rush. For now, I would continue to be an introvert. It would be hard to sleep off my headache, but I hoped that my mind would still be going slow enough to let me get at least a little bit of regular sleep.

With the excessive padding I had put down, the shaking of the wagon was turned into a gentle sway. It was actually comfortable, and I did nod off eventually. When I woke up again, the expedition had finished its day’s march, and had stopped for the evening. I regretted my decision to sleep. Now that I was slightly rested, it was almost guaranteed that I’d be up all night.

I was contemplating the best strategy to avoid thinking, when I heard a knock at the back of the wagon. I flinched at the sound, but was able to keep myself from lashing out. I really did not like that noise. It was Haylen again.

“Please not do that,” I told her. “Sound like zombies. I sorry about morning, though. Was my fault.”

“I’m… sorry too,” she replied. “I wasn’t listening. Not the way I should have.”

She hesitated a moment before continuing. This was awkward for both of us, and I was thankful that she had been willing to initiate it. I probably would have tried to put it off in the hopes that we would both forget about it.

“Do you want to get dinner?” she asked.

I didn’t. Not really. I was afraid that she’d try to talk about my problems again, and I was still feeling ashamed about how I had acted. But I couldn’t think of a polite way to refuse. Also, I was hungry. After weighing my options, I nodded and we went to cook fires to get something to eat.

It was the same semispicy potluck pottage I had grown used to over the past week, and the dark bread was indeed becoming staler. We ate at the small table in Haylen’s tent. I pulled out a bottle of wine for the two of us. I still had a minor headache, but the food helped, and… hair of the dog and all that. We mostly ate in silence. For once, I finished the meal last.

When we had returned the bowls, Halen led me back to her tent. A conversation was imminent, but I still didn’t have any good excuses to leave, so I let her take me where she willed.

We sat at her table again, and she frowned at me in concern.

“How are you feeling?”

I shrugged because I wasn’t too sure myself.

“Cry helped. I think. Saying helped more. Maybe. Thank you for listen. Not want talk about again. That not help.”

Even if I had been able to speak clearly, that would have been about as well as I could have phrased it. Knowing that someone even partially understood how I felt was a bit of a relief, but saying any more would just be throwing salt in the wound.

“Do you mind if I make a suggestion? You don’t have to give me an answer right away, but I think it might help.”

She looked hopeful, but nervous. She clearly wanted to know that she was doing the right thing. Maybe it was the paladin in her, but she didn’t want to leave it alone either.

“Go ahead,” I sighed. If she was set on this, it was better to get it out of the way now.

“Make the pilgrimage with me.”

“Huh?”

“Make the pilgrimage with me,” she said again, and she looked determined.

“How that help?” I asked. I was a little annoyed that she was still so intent on fixing me, but more than that, I was curious about her offer.

“Well,” she began, “you don’t act like someone who’s only two, so it’s easy to forget how little you know about the empire. You knew how to handle the necropolis, but you… don’t really know any other way to live. You don’t know what you want to do with your life, you don’t have enough information to actually make that decision in the first place. But you still feel like you need to make it as quickly as possible.”

“Yah. That sounds about right so far.”

“So don’t rush to decide. Put it off for later. Come with me, and see what the world has to offer. We’ll spend a year or so traveling, and by the time we get back, maybe you’ll know what you want to do.”

I was slackjawed and stunned. That… wasn’t a bad idea at all.

“I can do that? But I not becoming paladin.”

“Of course. It’s a requirement for becoming a paladin, but that doesn’t mean we’re the only ones that do it. The reason most people don’t take the full pilgrimage is because it costs a lot to travel so far, and they can’t afford to be away from their homes for so long. And neither of those are a problem for you. You’ve got plenty of money, and no home to leave behind.”

“You would take me? Why? You only know me one week.”

Haylen threw her hands up and shrugged.

“I don’t know. Why not? It would be nice to have a companion on the road, but it’s not like you have to go with me.”

I thought about it.

I thought about it some more.

“I think I need think about it,” I finally said. “But is good possibility.”

It really was a good idea. Sure, it was based on procrastination, but it was procrastination with a purpose. Most of my current worries were a simple fear of the unknown. If I had an extra year or so to learn about the world before I tried to settle down somewhere, I’d have a much better idea of what to do with myself.

As I was, I was aimless, without any real goal or motivation. My entire life so far had been survival. Even my hobbies had just been distractions to keep me sane so that I could go on surviving.

From what I could remember, Past Life Me had also been rather aimless, but he had known how to find the things that made him happy. Indigo Me had hardly developed as an individual, and couldn’t tell the difference between the things that made her happy, and the things that helped her forget that she had been living in a zombie apocalypse.

I could probably find myself just fine in Orlis, but that sounded like a commitment I wasn’t ready for. I didn’t want to immediately settle down in a city I had only learned about a week ago. Traveling with Haylen would also be a commitment, but it was a finite one, and didn’t set anything in stone.

“Take your time,” Haylen told me. “I won’t be leaving Orlis right away, so you still have a few weeks to think about it.

“Yes. Seems like best option, but is big decision. Also want see Orlis first.”

We spent the rest of the evening making plans. Not future plans, just normal plans. Besides getting some actual money and a place to sleep, I hadn’t spent much time on a “to do” list. Haylen laughed when I told her that my general strategy was to wander around the city, get as lost as possible, and go into whichever shops, or bars caught my eye. When she revealed her own plans for the evening of our return, I happily accepted her invitation to join in.

“You think Mayra want come too?”

Haylen was thoughtful for a moment before answering.

“I’ll ask, but she probably won’t. She’s got a noble’s reputation to maintain. And her uncle’s. With what I’ve got planned, I’d even be worried about my own reputation if I wasn’t going to be leaving the city soon.”

I grinned. Haylen hadn’t told me any specific details for what she had in mind, but it clearly involved getting fucked up, and then doing some fucking. I was pretty sure that I wouldn’t be on Haylen’s menu that night, but it still sounded like my first time was going to be epic.

Which reminded me of something…

“Other day, morning after leave Miasma, Mayra say something about my tongue. What she mean? Or was joke?”

Haylen almost choked on her wine and blushed, but her grin was starting to match my own.

“That wasn’t a joke. I don’t know what you did, but your tongue was… long. It was very long.”

I looked down and stuck my tongue out. It was just barely visible below my nose.

“Had I shapeshifted it? How would it even fit in my mouth?”

I channeled some mana into it, grew it out till it was as long as my hand. When I pulled it back in, it didn’t seem like it took up any more room than usual.

“How did you do that?” she asked, and sounded much more interested than she had the other day.

“Is homunculus thing,” I told her. “Is fun homunculus thing,” I said again, and my grin grew wider.

“How much of that is magic, and how much is… you?”

It was probably a good thing that we had been drinking, because she sounded more curious than concerned. I thought about how much I should tell her. Now that I was free of the mist, I had less reason to keep so many secrets, and if I ended up making the pilgrimage with Haylen, I’d probably tell her most of it eventually. There was no need to hurry though.

“I… not really sure some times. I read notes about how I made. But person who make me… do it differently. I not made according to plan. I still figuring out what can and cannot do. Tongue thing took good bit of mana, so I not have much practice with that.”

“How much can you actually change?”

“Most. Maybe. Nothing big. Could not look like chair or big rock but…”

I held out my hands and changed my skin color to a dark green like Corlo’s, then to a bright sky blue, and finally back to my normal bone white.

“Little changes easiest.”

“Could you look like me?”

I frowned and looked her up and down.

“Probably,” I admitted. “But would be difficult. Would take hours to get right. Maybe days. Wouldn’t want to try. Look like other person is… creepy. Also, I like be me. Not want copy other people. I am Indigo. What you see is Indigo. Change hair color is only big thing I ever do to body… And now tongue. I guess. It seem fun, so I keep.”

If you discover this narrative on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the violation.

“You’re keeping it like that?!”

“Why not? Is fun. Someday, someone be glad I have it.”

Haylen took another sip of her wine, and started to stare at the cup, probably realizing how much she had been drinking.

“No offense,” she said, “but it’s probably a good thing there’s only one of you. I don’t know if the world could handle an entire race of Indigos running around. But then here I am wondering what sort of “fun” you’ll think up next.”

I snorted in response, but didn’t lose my smile and took another sip of my own wine.

“Yes. It’s probably best I stay unique. But I’m not that original. Most of my ideas come from books or… other things like that. I can’t wait to show off some of the Ancestor’s stuff that isn’t dangerous. After all, there’s no reason to keep something like a cookbook secret.”

From there, our conversation flitted from topic to topic faster than ever, and we began to drink faster and faster. It was nice. Just me and Haylen talking about unimportant things and getting to know each other. It was well after dark when we finally went to sleep, and I didn’t even question it when she grabbed me by the horn and pulled me under the blankets with her.

* * *

When I woke up the next morning, still fully clothed, I didn’t bemoan the lack of sex from the night before. The slight catharsis I had received was more than enough. I had gotten some much needed rest, and I felt good. I also felt Haylen wrapped around me. Once again, I was the little spoon, and I was too tightly embraced to move without waking her up.

It wasn’t long before I heard her breathing change, and I knew she was now awake as well. Surprisingly though, she didn’t actually get up or even say anything. She seemed to be just as happy to hold me as I was to be held. We both skipped breakfast, and spent the rest of the early morning floating in and out of sleep together.

When the expedition finally started moving again, I quickly grew bored in my wagon. Unlike before, I was no longer anxious, but was still antsy.

Deciding that now was as good a time as ever to start working on some new, or perhaps old, hobbies, I pulled out one of the instruments I had looted along with a tuner and a “beginners guide to whatever the hell this thing was.” It was either a mandolin with a few extra strings, or a deformed travel sized twelve string guitar.

Music was something that Past Me had enjoyed, but never taken the time to get good at. Current Me would probably end up the same way, with lots of instruments that I could play, but none that I could play well. Music was something I missed though, and was a skill I wanted regardless.

It wasn’t long before I was torturing the people marching around my wagon with badly fingered chords and an inconsistent tempo. My fingertips became sore after the first few minutes, and I would pause just long enough for my natural healing to soothe them. It was also just long enough for the soldiers to think I had given up.

I received both boos and mocking applause, but no one told me to stop. It was our sixth, and apparently last full day of marching, and I wasn’t the only one who needed a distraction. We’d be reaching Orlis tomorrow, and we all wanted the trip to be over with. I ended up playing for almost the entire day, and when we finally stopped for the evening, some of the cheers for my music were genuine.

When the wagon pulled to a halt, I was about to hop out and find a meal companion, but was stopped by the large form of Corlo blocking the exit. He hadn’t been wearing his armor after we turned away from the mist, but he still bigger than any of the humans, which meant that he towered over me.

“I have a request of you, Indigo.”

I had seen plenty of Corlo whenever I ate with Haylen. If he had been a knight, she would have been something like his squire, although they had nothing resembling the master/servant relationship that implied. He marched with her platoon, and they always took their meals together, but he seemed to prefer being a guiding hand, and not a superior who gave her orders.

For the most part, he had been content to listen to everyone else talk, and rarely spoke unless spoken to. If he wanted something from me, it was probably important.

“Sure. No problem,” I agreed before even hearing what he wanted. “What you need?”

“The orcs and I need your wagon. It’s the emptiest, and you won’t have to walk very far tomorrow.”

They wanted it for the Ector idol. While we had technically suffered a military defeat, the recovery of the artifact meant that, to a large percentage of Orlis’ population, this was one of the most important expeditions in recent history. When they reentered the city, the statue was to be put on display for all to see. Us bringing it back to Orlis would be seen as a sign of the continued friendship between the human god and the orc god.

I wasn’t particularly religious, and still held a grudge against whichever deity had seemingly failed in their duty to properly manage my soul, but the gods of this world had never done anything to cause me problems, and so I quickly nodded and reaffirmed my agreement.

Within minutes, Corlo and a few other orcs had carefully removed the canvas roof of the wagon, and not so carefully removed its sides. I donated several of my sheets and blankets to give the cart a slightly more formal appearance, and Kearse was invited to help carry the statue out of my storage space. He was sweating bullets as he did so, and treated the act with the utmost solemnity.

When Corlo mentioned his regret at not having a candle to light during their entrance, one of the Arlonian priests that had been watching began to scamper around the camp, collecting as many stubs as possible. He vowed to personally mold a candle worthy of being Ector’s campfire. I found the statement amusing, but I admired his sincerity, and he was overjoyed when I gave him a few of my own candles to work with.

The finishing touch to the wagon was added when all of the orcs in the expedition placed their spears on it, ringing the geode. Ector was a fairly martial god apparently, and I had to admit that we managed to give his idol an impressive ride.

When the wagon was finished receiving its upgrades, and everyone had had their dinner, I slept in my own tent again. Everyone knew that tomorrow would be a big day, so there was no late night drinking, and few after hours conversations. I tossed and turned a bit, but it was more from excitement than anything else, and managed to sleep on my own without too much difficulty.

* * *

The morning was frantic. Everyone knew they were close to home, and didn’t want to waste time sitting around. The soldiers, and myself, were in such a rush to get moving that the officers had to make sure that we properly disassembled the camp and didn’t leave early.

A group of riders was sent out in advance to inform the city of our arrival. Those marching hooted and hollered at them jokingly, envious that they’d be reaching Orlis first.

I felt the same. My nerves had put a swarm of rabid butterflies in my stomach, but I was handling it better than I had been on previous days. I wanted do get the trip over with, but was also content to walk and take in the sights I had missed during my seclusion in the wagon.

Southern Orlis was humid and warm, and I had to remind myself how far south we really were. To the Orlisians, winter and snow were things that happened only in faraway lands. If their growing season wasn’t year round, it had at least started quite a while ago. Farmland was now a more common sight than forest.

We didn’t go past any towns that day, but villages were everywhere. Like the northern desert side of the kingdom, mudbrick seemed to be the preferred building material, and nowhere was without a sturdy wall. I did see a few farmhouses that were by themselves, but even they had a strong fence or palisade of their own.

“The walls give protection from the mist,” Haylen said in response to my questioning. “To an extent, they keep the mist out, and prevent it from getting to thick when it rolls by. Usually it’s enough to make sure that any monsters it brings with it can’t get in without warning. It also prevents people from getting lost. Even the miasma can’t snatch away a person who’s locked themselves into their farm.”

From a scientific point of view, I didn’t get it. How some things could or couldn’t work to protect people from the fog just seemed illogical at times. But as someone who had been learning magic, it made perfect sense.

Superstition had a magic all its own, and if people said that it worked, there was no reason to disbelieve them. Superstition had a bad reputation, but I knew better. It was the science before science existed. It was the result of people noticing patterns, but being unable to test them rigorously. Until proven wrong, there was no reason not to trust in the myths and legends.

When we reached a wide and slow moving river, we made an early stop for the morning. It was a minor tradition for the expedition to bathe here, so they could be a bit more presentable for their return to civilization. The men would bathe in one spot, and the women in a place a little further upstream.

Public bathing wasn’t something I was used to, and Haylen annoyed me a bit when she outed my sexuality the moment I arrived. I was the subject of much teasing, but to my surprise it was my sudden shyness that that received all of the focus.

The women around me made a great show of washing themselves as openly as possible, and they laughed whenever it was obvious that I was doing my best not to stare. Mayra was the worst of them, and I swear she dropped her soap on purpose, just so she could show off the sway of her body when she bent down to pick it up.

If I had been a man, they probably would pelted me with rocks until I ran off, but as a fellow female, my presence was acceptable. Whatever this world’s view on alternative sexualities, it was better than I had expected, or even hoped. Their taunts were in good fun, and never reached the point of mockery. I knew that I was on the far side of normal, but it was a relief to know that I hadn’t fallen out of that category yet.

Once someone got a sniff of the soap that Haylen, Mayra, and I were using, a queue formed almost instantly. I made the mistake of offering up a bottle of shampoo, and then had to surrender a second one when the eightyish women all scrambled to be the first to try. I silently apologized to Father Gregor. Most likely, next year’s expedition would have a sharp spike in the number and variety of things being looted.

When the bathing, and my swimming, was over, we resumed our march.

It was still not yet noon when Haylen pointed out a blur on the horizon. It was the ocean, and where river met coast, there was a city. It was still far off, but it was close enough to be see, and we would likely reach it within the hour. We were here.

Haylen noticed my tense reaction, and rubbed at my back to help calm me down.

“Pretend that you’ve already agreed to travel with me. Pretend that it’s just a stopping off point. Orlis only holds your future if you want it to. There’s no reason to feel like your life will be set in stone the moment you walk through the gates.”

She was right. She was right. This was an important period for me, but it wasn’t one that needed to define my life. I nodded at her words, and caught my breath. I reminded myself that I wasn’t in Peninsula any more, and that running away from everything was always an option. I was going to Orlis because I wanted to, not because I had to.

By then, everything had turned to farmland. Most of the trees had been sequestered to small groves, copses, or more commonly, orchards. Small clusters of farmhouses were clustered here and there around the city itself, all hidden behind well maintained walls.

I was trying to look at everything at once, and Haylen took note of my wandering eyes.

“It’s amazing, isn’t it?”

I didn’t want to be rude, but I still felt the need to show my perspective.

“Uh… Is beautiful. Yes. Very interesting. But… I lived in Peninsula. I think… this… primitive. Sorry. But is still impressive. Rebuild even this much is very impressive.”

“Ah. I see. Well, you can always go back if you want. There’s no reason to force such an advanced individual to live with simple folk such as us.”

Her words were scathing, but her tone of voice and the look on her face told me that she was only being sarcastic. Still, I felt like I had wounded her pride.

“I not unhappy. Culture and technology different things. So far, I think Empire’s culture better than Ancestor’s. They kind of asshats sometimes.”

Haylen started blinking rapidly, unsure how to take that.

“You really think we’re better? You were right though. We are primitive compared to them. So how are we better?”

“Empire more selfless. I think. You say many good things about it. You say, Empire want better future for all. Ancestor’s wanted better future for selves. You know they make slave race? Kept people as pets. Even had tails and animal ears.”

Haylen went pale when she heard that.

“Don’t tell that to anyone,” she said. “Damn. No wonder you’re worried about keeping secrets. Do not mention that to anyone. If the beastkin ever found out that they were… like that… I can’t imagine how they’d react.”

Now that was news to me.

“They still around?! Wow! Now that impressive. They only made few decades before curse happen. I thought population too small to keep going.”

“Oh they’re still going. They’re one of the rarer races in the empire, but they’ve got their own kingdom on an island out in the eastern sea. They don’t come out this far very often, so I’ve only met a few, but if they did start off as you said…”

I nodded and added “beastkin origins” to my list of things not to talk about.

“But proves point,” I said. “Empire want better world for everyone.”

“Yah. No. I’ll believe that when I see it.”

I wasn’t going to be sucked in to propaganda that easily. I was no history expert, but anyone could tell you that an empire usually becomes an empire by conquering the shit out of its neighbors. This world only had about five hundred years of history to compare itself too. My old world had thousands. And we had gotten very good at digging up the uncomfortable truths about the past. The way I saw it, if there wasn’t at least one part of your nation’s history that made you ashamed, it was because you didn’t know your nation’s history.

Still, the general optimism and hope shown by the Imperials boded well. Even if the “better world for all” thing was just an advertisement, if the people believed it, if they believed in what it represented, it may just happen some day. They were primitive, yes, but the culture they had built for themselves was an admirable one. I’d rather try my odds here, than run off to some far away country in the hopes of finding something better.

* * *

When we got closer to the city, the marching formation began to shift around. All of us who had gone on my little raid of the necropolis were pulled back to walk alongside the wagon carrying the statue of Ector.

Corlo had been the one to actually find it, and so he received the prime spot. And walked directly in front of it. Haylen, Kearse, Mayra, and I were slightly behind him and to the side. They were nervous, but I was just happy to get a good view of what was to come.

Corlo, more than anyone, would be displayed as the hero of the day, and I was happy to let his glory overshadow my rescue. There was no doubt that his name would go down in Orlisian history, and I only hoped that I ended up as little more than a footnote to his tale. As a paladin, his life was meant to be an inspiration for others, and I felt that he deserved all the pomp and circumstance that we could give him.

The random priest that had promised to make a candle had outdone himself. Not only did it fit perfectly into the statue, but it even looked like a campfire. He had set a high standard, and I wondered if the next candle to burn for the idol would be able to compare. The orcs were more than pleased by his work, and he received many hearty slaps on the back as thanks.

When we approached the gates of the city, I was in genuine awe, and I think it made Haylen feel a bit better about my earlier comments. I had seen massive buildings in Peninsula, but I had never seen a wall on the scale of the one than encircled Orlis.

The wall was at least a dozen meters tall, and probably stretched for entire kilometers. The gates themselves were large enough to let a pair of double-decker busses pass through them. I don’t know what expression I wore on my face, but I saw Haylen look at me with approval. I had probably just lost the “it’s not that impressive” debate.

We walked through, and I was hit by a wall of noise as strong as the stone one that defended the city. The road was paved in cobblestone now, and it was lined with cheering crowds. I had expected it to an extent, but nothing like this. Our return to the city was a parade. It was an entire triumph.

Horns were blaring, and flowers were being thrown at us left and right. Most of the crowd was made up of humans and orcs, but I spotted a few other races among them. Several dwarves, plenty of…

“Goblins? Wow. Today’s just full of surprises.”

Compared to my entrance to Peninsula, this was much nicer. It was nice being able to go somewhere new without the locals trying to eat you. At the same time, I didn’t have panic to distract me, and I felt overloaded as I tried to understand everything around me.

The buildings were made of brick, and coated in whitewash. Most were only one or two stories tall, but here and there I was able to see some that were four or five floors high. Their roofs were mostly flat, and only had enough of a slant to keep the rain from puddling up.

Regardless of race, the people that lined the streets wore lose fitting and voluminous clothing. Most of the coloration was of whites, greys, and browns, but that only severed to highlight the bright colors they wore on the belts, sashes, or other accessories.

Orlis was a kingdom of both dry desert, and humid jungle, and they had melded the two to create a cultural and architectural style that was entirely new to me.

We marched through the city for what felt like forever, but was probably only an hour at most. I tried to see everything, but my eyes bounced between one thing and the next faster than I could even tell what I was looking at in the first place.

Eventually, we came to a stop.

We were here.

Somewhere.