When I woke up, I felt great. I felt more awake than I could ever remember. I felt like I had gotten the best sleep I’d had in months. Years even. The hours of stabbing pain I went through the night before felt like nothing but a vague dream. I felt… I felt...
“Why do I feel tits?”
I had been a man in my past life. And if there’s one thing every man has, it’s an instinctive sixth sense for when he’s touching boobflesh. I may have been a woman in this life, but I still preferred other women, and I was now very much aware of the awareness of tits in my immediate vicinity.
I opened my eyes. I was in a tent. A blanket lay beneath me, and another lay on top of me. It also lay on top of Haylen and Mayra.
I was on my side, Haylen was holding me like the little spoon I was, and one of her legs was draped over my own. It was her chest I felt against my back. It was her whole body I felt against my back. Mayra was sprawled out in front of me. It seemed that she was a messy sleeper, and half of her was sticking out from under the covers. Some time in the night, I had apparently begun fondling her. From what I could see, she was also very naked. My awareness did a one-eighty and it didn’t take a tailor to know that Haylen was just as ungarmented.
On both sides of me were two beautiful women. Two beautiful naked women.
“Far be it from me to ruin the moment.”
I tried to remember how I had gotten in this most wondrous of positions. Most of last night was a blur from the pain. It became clearer as I healed, but then my memory drew a blank. I had heard cheering, I was sure. Then Mayra told me we were almost out of the mist. Then nothing. I knew I had been overjoyed at leaving. But then I had felt… wonderful?
Whatever had happened when we left, I was sure Haylen and Mayra could fill me in. My current sensational situation indicated that it couldn’t have been that bad. I closed my eyes and enjoyed the comfortable warmth that surrounded me.
“Yes. Don’t question it. Just enjoy the moment.”
I did enjoy the moment. I enjoyed it very much. The only downside was that I couldn’t give Mayra a gentle squeeze for fear of waking her up. I had spent two years in that hellscape of a city, but this made it all worth it. I was sure that most men and likeminded women would have agreed. Waking up between two beauties was worth a lot of things.
Even if we had all been fully clothed, I wouldn’t have moved. The simple joy of physical contact with another person had been lost to me for so long. How long had it been since anyone had given me a hug? A lifetime, technically. The sound of Haylen and Mayra’s breathing was like music to my ears. It was a perfect moment. If it was the last minute of my life, I could have died happy.
All good things must come to an end though, and they did eventually wake up. Mayra was the first to rise, and she payed no notice to the hand that had been firmly latched to her breast as she sat up to yawn. A second later, I felt Haylen shift behind me.
I opened my eyes, and saw Mayra looking down at Haylen and I.
“Morning,” I greeted her.
She looked slightly embarrassed and her eyes darted around the tent before coming back to us.
“Morning,” she replied. “How much… Uh. How much do you remember about last night?”
I searched my memories again, and tried not to let my vision linger on the mage’s ample bosom, now unhidden by the fallen blanket. Her braided hair was behind her, and I had an unobstructed view. No mountain range constructed my nature could compare the mountain range constructed by Mayra.
“I remember… soldiers cheer. Then you say we leaving mist. Then… mana thing? I think.”
“How drunk did I get last night? Did we have a party? I don’t feel hung over.”
“So you don’t remember what you did last night.”
“Shit.”
There is a very big difference between, “Do you remember what happened,” and, “Do you remember what you did?” One of them had a much heavier implication of personal involvement, and I wasn’t so dense as to not realize that both questions led to my current situation.
“No? I… do something bad?”
I couldn’t see Haylen behind me, but I felt her hold me a little bit tighter.
“I’ve had better, but it wasn’t that bad.”
Mayra’s own face scrunched skeptically.
“You do remember what she did with her tongue, right?”
“Yeah. And it looked creepy.”
“Yeah! And amazing!”
They were talking over me, but it wasn’t hard to follow the trail of innuendo to the word they had both left unspoken.
“Wait!” I shouted, before quieting myself. “We had sex? All three?”
“Well,” Haylen replied slowly. “I don’t know if I’d call that sex. It was mostly you groping us while we pointed your mouth in the right direction. Your horns worked great for that, by the way.”
“Pfft. Speak for yourself,” Mayra countered. “That was the best I’ve had in… in… Was that really the best I’ve had?”
No.
No, it was impossible.
Two years of sexual frustration. Two years of helping myself. Even magic dildos can only do so much to keep you sane after that long. I had finally gotten laid. A threesome of all things! And I couldn’t even remember it!
“FUCK! How I not remember?! This… It… We…”
At my outburst, Mayra started to giggle, and I felt Haylen shake behind me as she chuckled. Then they laughed so hard they were nearly crying.
“Okay. Okay.” Mayra said as she lay back down and gave me a hug. “I can’t do it anymore. It’s too cruel.”
“There was no sex,” Haylen said. “You were too out of it. It would have been wrong. Even a drunk person would have been more aware than you were.”
“Although you did get a little bit handsy. Didn’t exactly make it easy.”
“I think anyone would be handsy for you, Mayra. Also, you enjoyed it.”
“I was coming out of mana deprivation!”
“I thought you only liked men.
“You try sleeping next to someone making the kind of noises she did and not get turned on! I know you were! And what girl wouldn’t be interested in a tongue like that?”
I was at a loss. I didn’t know which was worse. Not having made sweet sweet love, or having done so and not being able to remember it. As the two continued to joke, my brain cells took a vote. They agreed that sex was better than no sex, and being able to remember it was irrelevant. I hadn’t gotten laid, though, and was therefore officially disappointed.
There were no words. In the dozen languages I could understand, there were no words for the inner conflict I was feeling.
“So,” I began. “If sex not happen, why we all naked?”
“And what was that about my tongue?”
“We had to make the story believable,”
“Haylens’s a tease, and this was our revenge for having to take care of you last night.”
“And for yesterday morning’s wine incident.”
“I see. I see. If naked cuddles is revenge, maybe I be bad more often.”
I shouldn’t have said that. I should not have said that. I should have drawn it out. Let it last as long as I could. On one side of me was Haylen’s slim softness, and on the other was Mayra’s welcoming warmth. What kind of idiot would say anything that could risk losing this? Me apparently.
The silence was audible.
“We were tired, alright?”
“It seemed like a funny at the time.”
“And it worked, didn’t it?”
They didn’t let me go, though. They didn’t get up and get dressed either. I wised up, and shut up. If they weren’t going to leave the blankets, I wasn’t going to encourage them.
The first true day of my life was already a great success. I may have fallen for their little prank, but I was in no position to complain.
* * * * *
We were all reluctant to leave the tent. I like to think that it was due to my natural charm, but I wasn’t going to delude myself. Whatever we had or hadn’t done, it had been a long night for everyone.
I was antsy to see what the world outside the necropolis was like, and actually got up first. Naked women could hold my attention for quite a while, but that time is greatly reduced if I know nothing will come of it.
After deciding that a repeat of yesterday morning would be uncalled for, I made sure to get dressed before going outside. The clothes I had been wearing had been destroyed, but I had others. Not counting underwear, my usual outfit was fairly standardized. A sports bra and leggings, with shorts and a vest. Aside from the lack of blood stains, it was identical to what I had had on the night before. I tisked in annoyance when I pulled out a pair of sturdy ankle high boots. My old ones had just gotten comfortable, and this new pair would take a while to break in.
I almost ran into the wagon when I left the tent. For some reason, it had been pulled up so close to the entrance that there was almost no space between the two. Some of my things were still in the back and I put them away before I forgot about them.
There was enough room in the back of the wagon for me to open a door to my storage if I kept it small. With everything that had been shoved inside it yesterday, there wasn’t much room left, and I didn’t want the pile in the middle to start building back up again.
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The mana batteries went back on the rack. Now that I could rely on my own mana regeneration, my need for them had gone down. They were far from being useless though, and I was already wondering how long it would take to fill them back up.
The rifle was put on one of the shelves along with the two spare crystals I had for it. I’d need to do a proper inventory of my batteries one of these days and see how many others I actually had. The pistol I decided to carry with me. Its holster had gotten off with only a small amount of singeing, and its crystals were also still intact.
Until I could do something to replace my ball bearings, I’d probably be relying on my guns. Although combat magic was also an option… And telekinesis works on pretty much everything…
“Alright. So the ball bearings weren’t much of a loss.”
It still felt nice to have an actual weapon on hand. Despite being nothing more than a bunch of metal balls, the sheer volume of metal that would be needed to replace them wouldn’t be cheap. At the same time, I had enough backup weapons that my combat readiness hadn’t dropped very much.
The mask was last, and that I plopped down onto my head so it could resume its duties as my new favorite hat. I loved the thing already. I looked like a total edgelord when I wore it properly, but as a hat it fit well enough with my natural foreignness that nobody would really question it.
It was still early morning, and although a few of the soldiers were awake, most of them had chosen to sleep in. Whoever set the marching schedule had likely decided that getting a good rest was a higher priority than speed today, and no one looked to be in any hurry.
For the first time in almost two years, I had no idea where I was. I was completely lost, and it was glorious. I had no plans for my future, and no idea what I was getting myself into, but I didn’t care.
I was outside. I was with people. I was free. I had everything I ever wanted. That was all that mattered.
I considered taking a naked victory lap around the tents, but decided against it. I had just finished dressing, and there was no need to start waking people up. I could enjoy my victory in silence.
I did walk around the edge of the camp though, while I took in the sights. It was amazing how far I could see. There was an actual horizon! And the sun stung my eyes if I looked directly at it! And the sky was blue, and half filled with clouds! I had gotten so used to the obfuscation of the mist that I had almost forgotten what colors looked like without that constant dinge of grey.
In the distance, I could see the edge of the forest, and the mist that reached up towards the sky. The dark green leaves conflicted greatly with the paler colors of the cacti and brush filled plains around me. Everything I knew told me that two such biomes should not be able to exist so close to each other. I reminded myself that the mist was made of freaky voodoo magic, and ignored the forest’s lack of compliance with basic geography.
A fort sat on a slight hill nearby. It was small, little more than a watchtower with a few extra walls around it. After a moment’s consideration, I realized that it was most likely meant to prevent people from going in, rather than fight anything coming out. I doubted that it could keep the entire necropolis from invading, but it served well enough as a watch tower, and could probably defend itself from anything it was expected to have to deal with.
A few people were riding down the path that led from its gates. By their armor, or lack of armor, I assumed that it was Damfeld with the paladins, and Gregor with the priests. They had a few new wagons with them, and my best guess was that it was more supplies. Whatever they were up to, it didn’t involve me and I wasn’t interested. I was too busy looking at normal stuff.
The rows of tents were much less organized than they had been back in Trident Stadium, but they were still arranged well enough to help me find my way around. It didn’t take long to find the cook fires and people standing in line while they waited for their meal.
I spotted Chadvid half way up, and no one complained when I cut in to join him. If anything, the soldiers seemed to be politely ignoring me.
“Morning, Indigo,” Chad said, sounding like he was still half asleep. He had a bandage wrapped around his head, but seemed otherwise fine.
“Morning, Chad,” I singsonged, sounding like more of a morning person than I actually was. “What for breakfast?”
“Eggs, and sausage, from the smell of it. Probably some bread, as always. Maybe some sauerkraut to add a bit of green to it all. Since we left early, I guess we’ve got more food than usual. And after last night, a good meal is probably the fastest way to bring the mood back up.”
He was right. Most of the soldiers sitting around their tents looked more than a little glum. Those with food looked a little less crestfallen, though. No one was going to complain about surviving, but it had been far from a flawless escape. I may not have known the names of the people that had died, but the expedition did, and they wouldn’t be forgetting them any time soon.
We talked casually while we waited for our food. Chad got Kearse’s serving as well, and I helped him carry it all back to their tent.
Kearse was sitting on the ground outside, and greeted us with a yawn and a wave.
The breakfast was delicious. Once again, I forgot to savor the meal and had finished before the other two were even half done. The scrambled eggs were fluffy, and the sausage was spicy. The bread was a little bit stale by this point, but I wasn’t going to complain. I had never eaten much sauerkraut before, but I wasn’t going to be sending it back. A week ago, I would have fought tooth and nail for a meal like this.
Chad was surprised when I pulled a coffee press out of my storage, but he wasn’t going to say no to free coffee. I crushed the beans with a bit of telekinesis, and summoned up a bit of hot water. Kearse was getting used to seeing me do things like this, and accepted his mug without comment, but it was still new to Chad and he watched with fascination.
It felt weird using magic, and it wasn’t just the knowledge that I wouldn’t have to scrape up every bit of mana I could get later on. It simply felt different, but I couldn’t quite figure out how to describe it. Whenever I used magic before I had been able to feel the mana flowing out, but feeling more flowing in at the same time was a new sensation for me.
I realized that I could now properly practice magic, and try out many of the spells that I had never been able to before. I would have to wait till later though. The middle of a military camp wasn’t the best place for that sort of thing.
Instead, I pulled out my journal and began to fill in the last few days’ events. Even if I was only adding a checkmark to indicate that I had lived for another day, I didn’t like going too long without updating it. It was easy to lose track of time I wasn’t careful.
I wasn’t in a rush, and wrote slowly so that I could keep talking to Kearse and Chad, and making sure that our coffee cups were full. I let them do most of the speaking, and they told me about last night from their point of view.
Chad had gotten the cut on his head when a pair of cursed ripped his helmet off. Kearse had dislocated a shoulder while pulling a woman back into formation after she had almost been dragged out of the line. Because of that, he now had a standing invitation to her tent from both her and her squad partner.
After how my morning had started, I had to suppress the urge to punch him. I doubted that he would accept their offer, and that just made me want to punch him more. I had saved the entire damn expedition, but I wasn’t getting any offers for free sex.
“Prostitution better be legal in Orlis. I swear I’m gonna wreck that whole damn city if I don’t get laid soon. I’ll even sleep with a man if that’s what it takes to end my celibacy.”
When I had nearly finished my writing and started a description of the dry plains around us, I paused. Something seemed off.
I stood up and looked over to the forest.
“Magical bullshit breaking physics. Totally understandable.”
I turned and looked at the surprisingly green desert around me.
“Past me had never been to the desert, so I dunno how normal it is, but...”
This place shouldn’t have been here either.
I tried to remember all of the maps I had seen during my stay in Peninsula. Political, geographical, and even topological. I now knew that they were all incredibly outdated, but some things weren’t going to change very easily. Even after a thousand some years, a mountain range wasn’t going to just disappear. A lake didn’t dry up without a good reason. A desert didn’t spring up out of nowhere.
This desert should not exist. It wasn’t dealing with the pseudological crap that was magic, so why was it here? Obviously the fall of the Ancestors would have an effect on the rest of the world, but it shouldn’t have caused this.
I pulled a map of the world from my storage, and unfolded it. It was antiquated, but it was good enough for my purposes.
“Come here,” I told them. “You know empire map, yes? You know where we are? Show me.”
They leaned over, and hesitated only a moment before pointing to the left side of the map.
“Over here,” they said together.
“Orlis is in this area,” Chad said, pointing to the northwestern side of a large gulf.
“Arlonia covers the southern side of the northern continent, and the northern side of the southern continent.” Kearse elaborated.
“And where is Peninsula Necropolis?” I asked.
“Uh…” Kearse paused.
“Here maybe?” Chad answered, and moved his finger only slightly north and east of where he had said Orlis was.
I was fairly sure I had my answer. Sort of. I believed them with their location of the empire, but their lack of knowledge of Peninsula’s actual placement told me everything I needed to know. I was dealing with more magical bullshit after all.
The southern of the two continents in question was divided by a sea into clearly eastern and western halves, with only a mountainous land bridge to connect them in the north. The southern continent may have actually been two continents, but that was a question for another time.
I pointed to dot on the northeastern-most coast of the southern lands. My translation told me clearly that the word said, “Peninsula.”
“Peninsula is here,” I told them.
It was about as far away from Orlis as you could get while still being able to get there by land. To them, the map was unreadable, but to me it as clear as day.
They raised their eyebrows at that but didn’t seem surprised. They took at as if I had told them a piece of mildly interesting trivia. Unexpected? Yes. But not unbelievable.
Kearse, at least, figured out my confusion and filled me in.
“It’s the mist,” he told me. “It’s like how it gets you lost. The actual location of a place doesn’t matter if it’s inside the miasma. Just like how people from other lands wander out, into the empire. I suppose it could work the same way for the necropoli. Now that I think about it, it’s probably the reason the militia says we’re protecting the world, and not just the empire. I never realized how much we’re actually helping them. Anyone who doesn’t do their part lets others suffer as much as they do.”
As I looked at the map and took in the information they gave me, it started to make sense. This desert was in the right place for the area they showed me, and the deciduous forest in the mist fit fairly well with what I would have expected to lie outside of Peninsula. It was only when they were next to each other that logic started to break down.
Despite all I had been through, I was still expecting a coherent explanation for everything. I had achieved a sustainable level of suspension of disbelief for the world I now lived in, but I hadn’t truly accepted how weird it could truly be. I wasn’t in a world ruled by mathematical perfection. In this place, superstition reigned supreme, and the rules of physics only mattered as much as they were allowed to.
“Artificial reincarnation? Sure. Zombies? No problem. An entire city being where it shouldn’t… Well… Fuck it. Why not?”
I was easily convinced at my misplaced location, and didn’t overthink it. It was good enough for now, and I didn’t want to lose my small moment of clarity by asking more than I should. Once magic was involved with something at this scale, larger explanations quickly started making less and less sense. If there was one thing that could be said for sure about magic, it was that the more you tried to define it, the less accurate that definition became.
Chad and Kearse kept talking about the map for a while, but I sat quietly while I tried to fit everything into the puzzle of a world that I was now part of.
I took a sip of my coffee. Then I chugged the mug like it was beer. The liquid itself didn’t help, but the action cleared my mind a little.
I folded the map back up and left.
Kearse asked if I was alright, and I gave a noncommittal reply as I walked away.
I wanted to avoid overthinking things, but I still had a lot of thinking to do. Now that I was out of the necropolis, there was only so much that could be put off till later.
I wandered back to the wagon and gave a nod to Haylen and Mayra as they went to grab their own breakfasts. The blankets inside were still a bit bloody in places, but I just folded them over before lying down.
In a few days, I’d be in Orlis. A real city. A living city. A place with people.
“So why am I so nervous?”
The answer was obvious. For the first time in a long time, I had no idea what to do.
It had been simple in Peninsula.
Hide. If you can’t hide, run. If you can’t run, fight. If you can’t fight, hide. It had been easy.
Everything else was secondary to survival.
But now I was going to a place that didn’t require that mindset. I had to deal with first world problems now. Or whatever their equivalent was.
I had enough valuables to sell that I could probably buy a house and live comfortably for quite a while. But what would I do with myself? If I sat around doing nothing but reading my books, why leave Peninsula in the first place? I could have done that there.
Get a job maybe? Doing what? I could join the mages guild, but I knew they’d never stop trying the get the secrets out of me. Even Mayra had a hard time holding back her questions. I was in the good graces of the church, but I had no intention of becoming a nun or priestess. I was still resentful towards whichever god had lost my soul the first time, and I wasn’t about to put my faith in another.
I had told Father Gregor that I would occasionally act as a muse, and try to push their development in the right direction, but that wasn’t a paying gig, and I wanted to do more than just become some prophet of technology. Doing that for the rest of my life was too much responsibility.
What was I going to do with myself? The last year or so in Peninsula had actually been relatively simple. Unless it had been necessary for my survival, I didn’t actually need to do much. But now I was finally reentering society, and I couldn’t just be a lazy shut-in, could I? Or could I?
The more I thought about my future, the harder it became to imagine.
Haylen came by to check on me later, but I pretended to be napping, and only gave her a mumbled reply.
The expedition must have packed up while I was busy stressing myself out, because it wasn’t long before I heard someone getting into the driver’s seat, and the wagon started moving.
The sooner we reached Orlis, the better.