Some meat. Trouble at the inn. The New Astounders. Kaixo scowling. Cold orange juice and one good egg. Serving the customers.

Sal had enough money, now, he didn’t need to go to the Body & Mind Tables for dinner, so he grabbed a quick meal at The Shorn Unicorn’s Horn. He had to reread the sign outside, several times, to make sure he was reading that right. It explained why the horse on the front had pink skin and looked rather embarrassed.

Once seated, he ate a big joint of beef, smothered in a thick gravy, along with some roasted asparagus and potatoes. It had been weeks—a thousand years of weeks—since he’d had meat, and he enjoyed every bite.

He thought of Shivaun, and her sadness over fruit. Working at the diner might be hard for her, and there was no way to ease her suffering. Would seeing other people eat help her? He hoped so.

Sal had eaten early, so there weren’t that many patrons filling the tables inside. Outside, with a little breeze to ease the heat, there were more customers, and again, Sal knew he had to get tables and umbrellas for the square outside. He was glad he wasn’t going to be open at night because the ghosts wouldn’t help any. Most people lost their appetite when confronted with the restless dead. He might do well with the nervous eaters, but that was a gamble.

After he was finished, he left Destiny Square and walked down Confusion Street, a little anxious. He wasn’t all that worried about brigands. He was a little uncomfortable at the idea of asking Kaixo for help. She hadn’t been the easiest person to relate to.

Fabrizio had pointed out the Climber inns down the way, closer to the pig farms on the edge of the city. He could smell all those animals, and it wasn’t pleasant, but it might be better than the sewer smells that accosted his senses as he came to bustling row of inns and taverns. These were where the poor Climbers stayed, and those who were just starting out. Those who were more successful, like the Hajawan dogheads that had won the Copper Key, stayed in Destiny Square, at the more expensive inns there.

Betty said that Kaixo was at the Copper Key Inn, which was behind the major inns, down a little alley where several warriors in various armor leaned against the wall, drinking from beaten copper cups, and eyeing him out of the sides of their eyes.

He walked down the cobblestones, keeping his face stone, and walking with purpose. Well, that was the case. He’d grabbed a leather satchel from his basement, and he’d stuck The Chronicles of GuNakt as well as the Riverglitter Mansion tome inside. Both books fit perfectly. Most likely, it was from a wizard or wizardess, maybe even Shivaun herself.

He’d left most of his fortunes back at his diner, locked inside the trapped chest upstairs. He’d gotten a new chain for the door, and a new lock, so that made him feel better. He only had a couple dozen gold pieces on him, in the satchel. He kept one silver and some copper in his pocket as mugger money—quick cash he could give up easily if someone tried to rob him.

Gripping the strap, Sal moved to the door of the Copper Key Inn and pushed it open.

That was when the yelling started. It wasn’t just anyone yelling, but Kaixo herself. “Come on, Cheryl, I’m good for it! I know I’m late but come on! I found a new team, right? We have the paperwork for Gail. It’s going to be any day now. You can take me to court if I miss another week!”

Kaixo looked leaner than the last time he’d seen her, and now she was almost gaunt. Her face was pale against the purple and gold scarves piled on top of her head and draped down on her wizardess robes.

Around her, she had several burlap bags, overflowing the clothes and books.

Cheryl was a large woman standing at a counter off to the side in the cramped space. A big mole tipped her large nose, which made her small eyes seem even smaller, piggishly so. Stairs led upward. It was stifling in the room, and Cheryl waved a dingy magical white fan to move the air, at least for her.

Kaixo was there, sweating. “Please. I’m begging you.”

Cheryl closed one, tiny eye. “Missy, we talked about this. Today was the day. No money no stay!”

“But I’ll have money soon!” Kaixo protested. Then she saw Sal. “He can vouch for me.”

Cheryl grunted laughter. “I don’t know him from Yeshu. And who’s your new team? The Amazingness?”

“The New Astounders,” Kaixo said fiercely. “We even have a Scallia Capran with a dragon! See? We can’t miss and you can take me to court on that!”

Cheryl lost the little patience she had left. “What court?”

“It’s just an expression!”

“No, it’s not!”

“How much does she owe?” Sal asked.

Kaixo flung out a hand at him. “Oh, no, you’re not going to give me charity. Not on your life, buster.”

Cheryl sighed heavily. “I don’t care who pays me. I just want to get paid. She can’t pay. Can you?” Her tiny eyes never left Sal’s face.

“I can pay. But I don’t think she’ll let me.”

The big woman slammed her hand down on the counter. “Then out she goes! Why don’t you two step outside to talk? I’m tired of looking at you.”

“Fine!” But the Yanir sorcerous wasn’t leaving.

Sal wasn’t sure how to handle this. How could he get the woman to take his money? He’d only just found it after all. And then he had an idea. “I need assistance with my magic. I could pay you for lessons.”

Kaixo wrinkled her nose in disgust. “That’s not a thing. I spent my life and destroyed large portions of my body and soul to get where I’m at. You know, Cheryl, you shouldn’t mess with me. I’m, like, super powerful. I could burn this whole place down with a word!”

“Try it,” Cheryl shot back. “I have protection. I pay the Pork Poet enough that they’d step in to deal with the likes of you.”

Sal noticed she didn’t mention Ziggy at all. It was pretty clear who ran the city. “Just five minutes outside, Kaixo. Please.”

Did you know this story is from Royal Road? Read the official version for free and support the author.

“Fine!” This time, the sorceress marched outside.

Sal left the heat of the inn for the heat of the merciless sun outside.

Kaixo leaned against the stone wall, arms crossed. “I don’t like this a bit. Why did you just show up on the worst day of my life? What’s your angle?”

“No angles. I need the help of a sorceress, and at this time, you are my only magical acquaintance in city. I am glad to see you, Kaixo. I heard that you might be dead. Did your team not go into the Tower?”

“The old Astounders did. Didn’t go well for them. My New Astounders are going to do so much better. And you can take me to court if we don’t.” Her scowl was truly epic.

Sal continued. “Instruct me on the nature of your sorcery.”

Kaixo closed her eyes and sighed. Her eyelids fluttered open. “It’s mostly about hunger, if you want to know the truth. You get hungry enough, the body starts shutting down, and then, well, the magic comes easier. It’s why you haven’t seen me at the Body & Mind Tables. The food there was too good. That bread is off the hook. And the lentils, don’t get me started on the lentils, and there isn’t even any meat involved. Mostly, I’ve just been going through the bureaucracy to get the right paperwork for the New Astounders, and this time, we’re not going to mess things up like before. You ready to get hungry, buster? The answer, or it should be, is no, no, you’re not.”

“I have never been more famished than I have been during my time in Tower City. Hunger has dogged my every step.” That was the absolute truth. “I can access my Diagraff, but I find it locked in some strange way. While it shames me, I must admit I find myself at Level One, Step One, and I do not see a clear path to Two. Please, I need your assistance!”

“Yeah, you and everyone else.” She sighed again.

“And you are also in need of my help,” Sal said carefully. “In the end, we both can end up victorious in these matters.

“How come I feel like I’m going to get the short end of the deal? Is your diner open?”

“Not yet. I’m thinking about next Monday. I want to do some practicing. What say you come back with me, and I can cook us up some nourishment, and then perhaps you can study my Diagraff.” This was risky business. How was he ever going to explain the Karmic Gauge to her? He couldn’t tell her the truth, no, but he might not have too. His Diagraff was so strange that it might not need any explanation. He was in uncharted waters.

“I could go for an egg,” she said softly. “Just one. Just to take the edge off the hunger. That’s the secret, to be starving just enough you’re not weak as a kitten, or as moody as a full-grown rock lion.”

“So I can pay for your room?” For one wild second, Sal thought about offering her the other room above his diner. There was also the attic. Before he could do that, he’d have to check with Betty and Shivaun first. It was only polite.

That was a departure. In the past, he would’ve just told his friends what he was going to do, and they would just have to deal with it. He didn’t mention the Riverglitter tome, but he could unveil that to her in time.

Kaixo flung herself away from the wall. “Yes. You can pay. Let’s just get this over with!” She then marched back inside. “Cheryl, Mr. Charitable is going to handle my bills for now. But know this, the second I get treasure from the Tower, I’m going to be checking out and finding a far better place to stay.”

Sal heard the big woman laugh. “Or you’ll be dead. Makes no difference to me. I’m just trying to run a business here!”

Sal settled up the bill, and a message flashed, rewarding him with twenty whole percentage points. He didn’t have time to check his percentages, but he thought he might have hit blue.

Then he was walking with Kaixo back down Confusion Street to Destiny Square, and then around the corner and down to his diner. He unlocked the door and hurried inside, grateful for the cool temperatures. “Thank you, Shivaun,” he muttered under his breath.

Kaixo came in, glanced around, and nodded. “At least it’s clean. But what about the ghosts?”

“I have won over one particular ghost, a banshee, who keeps the diner cool. Yet, let us have that be a secret between the two of us. Now, about that egg. I have just come in possession of such inventory.”

Kaixo shook her head. “Oh, Sal, you do have a way with words. Okay, let’s try your cooking. Do I go back there with you? Or do I stay here?”

“Remain here. Would you like some orange juice? I can squeeze some in no time at all.”

Kaixo sat down at a table. “I suppose. It’s so nice in here, so much cooler than outside. That’s bound to help you when you get this joint open.”

“That is my hope.” Sal went back to the kitchen and started loading the stove for the first time.

Behind him, Shivaun appeared out of the shadows. She had a frown on her pale face. The wall to the left the stove popped with ice as her words appeared. Who is that?

Sal kept his voice low. “That’s Kaixo Allakarra. She’s going to help me with my Diagraff. I do not have many illusions about the nature of my magic. However, I do still have some aspirations that sorcery might help me with my little establishment.” He broke kindling up and got a fire going. “If nothing else, it might help me get fires started more quickly.”

There are elementals in the tower. Your friend is a Climber. You could ask her.

“Not a terrible plan.” Sal fed larger pieces of wood, waiting for the stove top to heat. “Perhaps, though, we should walk before we run. Would you be so kind as to squeeze some orange juice for our guest? I would like some as well.”

He’d just loaded the stone butter crockery that morning, and so he had plenty of the stuff to grease the pan. When was the last time he’d cooked? He didn’t know, but he found himself sweating. Part of that was the fire. The other part was acute anxiety.

Why should he be afraid? He’d nearly conquered the entire world. He’d commanded tens of thousands of troops and he’d dealt with demons straight out of the Abyssmuck. This shouldn’t be an issue.

And yet, he wanted Kaixo to like his cooking.

He let the butter sizzle in the pan, and then cracked two eggs. She’d only wanted one, but one egg wouldn’t do. He needed some bread, or something to go along with it, but he’d not baked that morning. That had to change. He’d get on the baking the next day. Would Fabrizio give him the recipe for his rye? He could only hope.”

The former Dark Lord waited until the egg set, and he then turned it with a spatula, though he hadn’t waited long enough, and so when he tried to turn the egg, it ended up making a mess. One of them was okay, but the other was an ugly mess.

And how did Kaixo like her egg? He probably should’ve broken the yolk right away, but it was too late. He’d just have to hope for the best.

He could eat the bad egg, and he could give her the good one. Sal realized it was something his father would’ve done. This cooking business made him think of Mickey like nothing else. What would his father think of his son back at the stove?

That was easy—Mickey would’ve loved it.

While he cooked, Shivaun busied herself squeezing the orange juice. She also got a try and set it on the counter along with two plates and two heavy metal forks. He then set an egg on each. He also had two cups made of thick glass. Both had orange juice in them, beads of condensation dripping down the sides. He wasn’t sure how well the banshee’s cold hands would do with warm meals, but for anything cold, she was perfect.

He took the trays and went out and set them on the table. “It is a simple repast, and yet, I hope you like it.” He snapped his fingers. “Salt and pepper. I should have added them during the actual cooking preparations. It is too late for that, unless I should return to the kitchen for a second attempt.

That made Kaixo laugh, which was a rare occurrence. “It’s fine, Sal. I can sprinkle some on after the fact.”

He thought about calling to Shivaun, but her appearance might scare Kaixo away. Or at least make her leery about eating at his restaurant. He went and got the two bowls with the little spoons, somewhat glad that all of his tableware matched.

He caught Kaixo sipping the juice. “It’s so sweet and cold! Did the ghost make it? Tell me the ghost made it.”

Sal grinned. “A chef never reveals his secrets. Let us eat.”

They ate, and he watched her, more nervous than ever.

She caught him looking and shrugging. “It’s a fried egg, guy. It’s fine. I kinda like my eggs scrambled, and I’m not a huge fan of runny yolks, but it hit the spot.”

Sal ate his, and though it didn’t look pretty, it tasted good. The orange juice was far better, a miracle really, with how cold it was. Both brought back more memories of eating the eggs his father cooked. For Sal’s first attempt, it wasn’t bad. He’d have to remember to ask people about their preferences.

He was no longer a Dark Lord. Now, he was a servant to his customers.

Was this really his life now?