Magic in the kitchen. Possible explosions. Breakfast for dinner. An extra ten percent. Special plates. A nervous sorceress. The New Astounders get to work.
Sal stood over the stove that night, feet tired from the miles of walking. With Gurzak’s help, he’d distributed his two Work Points. One WP went into his BodyWork, which increased to 11% and he increased his SoulWork to 11%. His stats were so low, they just didn’t mean very much.
He was a bit troubled that he was going to have to rely on Gurzak to help him deal with his Diagraff. It seemed like a cruel joke, and yet, her words haunted him—his destiny was intertwined with the fate of the Gorbin.
His friends in town—Fabrizio, Kaixo, and Theovanni waited in the main dining room, talking quietly. Since it was a Sunday night, Fabrizio didn’t have to work at the Mind & Body Tables, so he had time for a visit.
Shivaun stood behind Sal, frowning.
Her words appeared on the wall to his left. So you did get magic after all? Is it blood magic? Can you use it to slay your enemies without mercy? If you have turned evil again, your pet demon will be so very happy. What are you going to do about this Dergle Driptongue anyway?
Sal was frying up twelve long strips of bacon in one of their bigger skillets. It was dark outside, and still very warm, though inside the café it was a comfortable temperature thanks to the banshee.
“Verily, Shivaun, I say unto thee, the powers I have are both meager and a bit of a mystery. I am going to try them for the first time. As for my demonic minion, I am at a loss, though I have faith a solution will present itself.”
“Hey, Sal, what are you doing in there?” Kaixo shouted from her table. “We have to go to bed early tonight. Tomorrow, I have my Tower climb! So hurry your ass—”
“Assistance,” Fabrizio interrupted her. “Uh, yes, please, do you need some assistance?”
“Is the oven hot enough?” Theovanni asked. “Should I send Sparky in there?”
“No,” Sal said quickly.
Betty sat up on the counter, staring down. “Gurzak said you should just cast the spell, Sal. How hard can it be? It’s frickin’ called Pork Power. Just get on with it.” She kept her voice down, so the others couldn’t hear her.
Sal had never, ever in his life cast unknown magic. Every proficiency he’d ever had he’d carefully chosen after months and months of study.
“This is dangerous business,” he muttered under his breath. “If Pork Power makes the bacon explosive, it could kill us all and bring the building falling down around our ears.”
Betty eyed him. “How likely is that, chief? Like a ten percent chance? What odds are we talking?”
Sal didn’t answer. He was going to cast the spell and hope for the best. After thousands of years practicing magic, he wasn’t worried about the actual casting, just the results. The bacon was nearly done. He had to do the enchantment during the cooking process.
He felt the Mana rush out of him, half of his twenty-point Mana pool. Four pieces of bacon glowed, which seemed to be the serving size. They floated up into the air, and he saw they were done. He gently levitated them over onto the plate.
Then he focused on the next four, cast the spell again, and he was at 0. To do any more damage might just put him on his back, unconscious, or it could kill him outright.
He felt depleted, and yet, it felt good to be using sorcery again. He always loved that feeling of exertion and then the slow filling of his magical core.
He removed the final four pieces of non-magical bacon and took the dozen strips into the dining area, along with some eggs Shivaun cooked and a stack of toasted, unbuttered. For now, the Butter King was leaving him alone, and though he was buying it in the market, the expense wasn’t terrible. At some point, he’d have to get serious and get all of his dairy products at wholesale prices.
He brought some olive oil out for Kaixo, since as a Yanir sorceress, she didn’t do dairy.
They sat, family style, and passed the dishes around.
Each had a slice of the magical bacon on their plate, including himself.
Theovanni took most of the food. Kaixo hardly took any.
Sparky squawked, and the kid fed him one of the unmagical strips of salted, smoked meat. The dragon chomped it down happily.
Kaixo studied her food suspiciously. She had a bit of egg, a tiny wedge of bread with a little olive oil on it, and two pieces of the magic food. “Pork Power?” She rolled her eyes. “How come that sounds just a little bit dirty?”
Sal shrugged. “Let us sample it together. Are you all ready?” He was simply relieved the meat didn’t seem explosive.
They each bit into the meat strips. It was extra tasty. The results were immediate.
He saw Kaixo’s eyes flash.
Then Sal was reading his own message.
<<<>>>
Pork Power! SoulWork increased by 2.5% from 11% to 11.275%.
Max SoulWork Pork Increase Available is 10%
Max Duration is 24 Hours.
<<>>>
Kaixo gobbled up the entire piece, and then reached for her second. “This…this is amazing. Can I eat all the bacon? I need to see if it works like it says.” She ate four pieces in quick succession. “No, I only get the extra 10%. Only. I’ve got to get Boomboom some of this stuff.”
Sal didn’t know who Boomboom was, and he hardly heard her. He sat there, dumbfounded, staring at the bacon and pondering what it meant for him. This was going to change everything, his entire life, and he knew it.
If word got out that he was serving magical food, people would climb over any amount of construction to get to him. He’d be as important as any potion shop. He thought about the advertising space he’d purchased in the Tower Today. That might not have worked so well when he’d been serving normal food. Now? He just might advertise there again.
What’s more, he could change more for the magical bacon. He could add it to sausage as well, any pork product really, though he was going to keep it to bacon. It seemed magical to the people who tried it. Now, it was actually magical.
It increased Theovanni’s and Fabrizio’s SoulWork as well, though with Fabrizio, he was a very low-level priest, and Sal had the idea his proficiencies were all book related. He wasn’t sure though.
The kid had some spells, but not many. He was mainly a fighter, and he worked with his sword, and yet, as a dragonrider, his magic was probably tied to his dragon. Sparky, when he ate the magic bacon, he coughed out some extra hot flames, well, a 2.5 percent more flame-y.
Sal couldn’t be happier.
“Special plates,” he whispered. “I’ll serve it on special plates. Ten gold pieces for each slice of Pork Power. I remain curious why bacon fell out of favor as the emperor of salted breakfast meats.”
Support the author by searching for the original publication of this novel.
Fabrizio blushed. “I can explain that I think. Oh boy, but this is another one of those church abuse stories that I get so tired of talking about. Remember how the church flip-flopped on dancing? Well, the same thing happened with pork. Some people got sick, and the church banned pork, especially bacon. For a while it was called the fatty devil’s lard strips. For like a hundred it was no bacon, and that was back when the church had a ton of power. Then the Ishim brought ham from Ishamland to the south, where they mathematically proved that pork was fine if you processed it right. And voila! We got ham, and then sausage, but strangely enough, the world forgot about bacon.”
“A true mystery,” Sal said, pondering all that he had missed in his thousand years in the Abyssmuck.
“Not really,” Kaixo said sharply. “People forget all sorts of things. But hey, love the bacon. Ten gold pieces a slice is steep, and I can’t pay for mine yet, but here.” She slid a copper coin across the table.
He picked it up. On one side was the surprised face of a woman, hands to her cheeks. She did look astounded. On the other was the word “NEW” in big letters wreathed in flames. It was very on the nose.
“What’s this?” Sal asked.
Kaxio grinned. “Marketing swag. We’re going to be handing out these copper coins to people. Kind of get our name out there, creating a buzz. You know, if we do well enough, we can get sponsors who will pay us for any magic items we find in the Tower. Like you, we have to get people’s attention.”
“Thank you,” Sal said, and for a moment, he and Kaixo shared a long gaze. Then she glanced away, and it was awkward, because they’d seen things about each other. Sal knew she didn’t know his secret identity, but she knew something about him. And he knew something about her past as an orphan growing up on the streets of Yanhome.
Fabrizio cleared his throat. “Oh boy. You won’t forget about us when you get rich, will you, Sal?”
“Never,” he said. “For verily, I cannot get more magic without doing good for people, and for that, I need you, Ponti. For you have access to a flood of people in need.”
“In that way, I am very rich indeed,” the handsome priest said, smiling to show his dimples. He had such a good heart.
“I shall wait to unveil my magic bacon,” Sal mused quietly. “After I deal with the fountain repair, after word has spread about the bacon, I shall let the world know about my Pork Power.”
Kaixo grimaced. “Is it me, or does the name need work?”
“Soul Bacon?” Sal winced. “No. Not that.”
Kaixo laughed. A rosy glow covered her cheeks. “Bacon Buffs. Tell me that doesn’t have a certain ring to it?”
“Bacon Buffs,” Sal mused.
They finished the food, and the former Dark Lord took the dishes out to Shivaun in the back, and she got to work. There was a lot of steam from her cold hands hitting the hot water. Betty had already gone upstairs to go to bed.
Then he walked his both Fabrizio and Kaixo to Tower Road while Theovanni and Sparky went up to their rooms to get as much sleep was possible before their big day tomorrow.
Kaixo stood off, aloofly.
Fabrizio gave Sal a hug. “Goodbye, my friend. This is very exciting news indeed. And it was the Gorbin that helped you?”
He nodded.
“Freakin’ Gorbin,” Kaixo spat. She paused, took off the Umbra Cloak, and threw it to Sal. “Hey. Uh, I’m not going to need this in the Tower I don’t think. You wanna hold onto it for me?”
Sal immediately knew something was amiss. “There is bound to be shadows, my friend. Walking unseen would help you.”
Kaixo laughed. “Having the freaking wand of lightning in your basement would help me more. But no, you’re all paranoid about the weapons. Whatever. Just take the cloak. Please.”
“I shall. If you insist.” Sal folded the cloak and tucked it under his arm.
The Yaniri sorceress nodded. “Yeah. This is me. Insisting.” She grabbed the priest’s arm. “Come on, Fab, I have to get home. After that feast, I wanna sleep. Gotta get some rest before my Tower Climb tomorrow. With an additional 10%. I’m going to kick major copper backsides.”
“Yeah,” Fabrizio said. “We should go.”
Kaixo turned to walk away, then turned back. “You’ll, uh, be there in the morning, Sal, won’t you? No. I guess not. You have your café to run. We’ll be fine. We’ll be okay.”
Sal held up in the copper coin. “I shall have this in my pocket to remind me of your endeavors. If I can break away for a moment I shall try and witness your grand entrance. What is your timeslot?”
“Noon,” she said. “It’s late. I wanted the first one, at eight, but we lost the lottery. We’ll be okay. You can take me to court on that.”
She paused, swallowing several times, and looking a bit uncertain. “Uh, well, you know, um, it would be great to be there. I’m sure we’ll be fine.”
Sal wanted to make her feel better. “If it’s noon, I just might close for the occasion. That might be possible now, for it seems my fortunes have changed.”
“Oh, boy, that’s an understatement.” Fabrizio waved.
Sal watched them walk away, Kaixo took her time walking by the grand entrance of the Tower. Tomorrow was going to be her big day. He hoped that it wouldn’t end with either her or Theovanni dying, not when things were looking up.
When Sal turned around, hanging on the wall, was Dergle.
The ash demon gave him a leer. “Greetings to the best man I’ve ever met, the most ambitious, and the most spectacularly talented. I am so very blessed to be serving someone who is obviously destined to rule the entire world.”
“If you have returned, can I assume that I shall soon be amazed by your ability to bake my father’s chocolate-chip cookies.”
The ash demon leered as spit dribbled down his chin. “Oh, certainly, my lord and master and my everything. I would’ve started, but your banshee friend wants me to wait until the oven is hot tomorrow. Then, I shall bake. But the real issue is the construction, is it not?”
“I am not happy about the fountain construction,” Sal said carefully. “However, I shall deal with it in time. You do not need to solve it in any.”
“If the fountain was completed, if the Pontra were dead, if the church were destroyed, would those things help you to conquer the world?”
“My current goal is to get enough customers so that I can live comfortably in Tower City. That is what I want. Out of the three things you listed, only the first would help me in that endeavor.”
The ash demon only laughed. “I understand, master, and I will obey.” And yet, in his gleaming red eyes, there was a mischievous glee that Sal didn’t like.
Noon the next day, Sal was there to watch the New Astounders walk the pathway, under the flowery arbor, to the entrance of the Tower. There, Gail Questor, shouted out the name of their party and the names of the party members.
“Hear ye! Hear ye! I, Gail Questor, declare that the New Astounders have the appropriate paperwork and have paid the correct fees, and so, they can attempt to climb the Godspear Tower! May they find success! I will now proclaim their names and receive their chits. Kaixo Allakarra, leader of the New Astounders. Welcome. Theovanni Balanacci and your familiar Sparkannathrax Peior.”
Kaixo looked nervous even with the two magical rings on her hands and the Mercury Boots on her feet. She’d added some straps and flair to the otherwise simple footwear. Tower City was crazy about their footwear.
Maybe Sal should’ve given her the Skycrack Wand. It was too late now.
Theovanni had put on the heavy armor from the basement, and he’d found some way to magically alter the metal, so it was back to being red and black. His shield was huge, far bigger than the little pigeonish dragon on his shoulder. His sword was sheathed at his side.
Gail continued to introduce the rest of the New Astounders, four others that Sal had heard about but was seeing for the first time.
Ronnel Lolonnis was a very old Primogeny, which seemed to be the case for all the fairy folk that he saw, like Madame Benyay, where Sal got his dough rings. Ronnel had a long bow, a quiver of arrows, and very plain boots.
Then there was a huge Torta warrior with a humongous two-handed mace. Was it a mace or a mallet? It was probably a little bit of both. That was Testu Hemez, and he was the tank of the party. A huge leather hauberk covered his chest, a gift from Shivaun’s party, to match the bamboo armor strapped to his arms and thighs. All in all, he looked fearsome.
Two humans rounded out the party, both with dark skin marking them as Ishim from the south. Boom Mahad, which had to be Boomboom. He was the healer of the party, and his magic had nothing to do with the gods, just magic. He wore the magical chainmail from the diner’s basement. He held a painted war hammer that had to be magical, very pretty and very colorful.
Lastly, there was a slender woman with black frizzy hair and some light-colored freckles sprinkled across her nose. That was Amira Torry, and she only had a short stabbing spear and throwing daggers on her belt. Her armor was very sleek and very black.
Each of the New Astounders held up the same copper coin that Sal had in his pocket.
He had to smile. They all looked so nervous, though it was a happy kind of anxiety, more excitement than anything. They walked through the big ornate doors of the Godspear Tower amidst the cheers, most of which were there to see another party who was set to go in later that afternoon.
Sal didn’t know how it worked, exactly, but from his little reading in the Tower Today, he knew there was a time limit. The Copper Level had different sections that were reset as the climbers moved through the chambers. If you were caught inside during the reset, you were killed, plain and simple.
So the New Astounders had their work cut out for them.
Sal turned and hurried back to his diner. He had to stop Betty from eating all the chocolate-chip cookies. Dergle had been baking all morning, and yes, his cookies were as divine as his gnocchi. Leave it to a demon to make such tempting food.
Did they capture his father’s recipe?
Yes. Very much so. Sal had been filled with emotion as he sampled them that morning. He’d had to clear his throat and wipe his eyes. He remembered eating them for breakfast, with a big glass of milk, while his father puttered in the kitchen, humming a song.
The memories were so vibrant, while at the same time, bittersweet.
According to Dergle, the recipe was favorite still in Caya Idle. It had proven to be an easy task.
Sal returned to find Shivaun standing in the doorway. He could feel her cold even from a distance. She didn’t look happy.
“Whatever is the matter, Miss Shivaun?” Sal asked.
Shivaun pointed at the wall. Your pet demon says my cold is spoiling the consistency of his batter for the umpteenth batch of cookies he is baking. He is using all of the flour and sugar. You must stop him this minute!
Sal sighed. Dergle’s passive aggression was going to be so difficult to manage. Maybe climbing the Godspear would be easier.
Funny enough, Sal would soon find out.