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The Dark Lord's Diner
Chapter Forty-Two – The Copper Halls

Chapter Forty-Two – The Copper Halls

Too many copies. A few customers. A plea for help. Shivaun’s fears. The morality of trespassing for a good cause. So much copper. The melt.

Betty sat leaning against a pile of cookies stacked on the wooden shelves in the kitchen area. She had a swollen belly, and her eyes were half closed. Most of the chocolate-chip cookies had been handed out as free samples because Dergle had made so many.

Sal had been careful in how he removed the ash demon from the kitchen, telling his minion to take the rest of the day off because he deserved it. He had to give Dergle a direct order to sleep, and while the demon laid it on thick, saying he would serve forever, there was a malicious glint in the monster’s red eyes.

It was nearing three o’clock in the afternoon, and Sal only had a few customers sitting in his place, enjoying the cool temperatures. Two Eagalis women were drinking salty lemonease, and there was a Yanir man reading. He might’ve been a government official, given the fact that he wore a shirt with the biggest collar that Sal had ever seen. His pantaloons were like the sails of ships. And then there was the matter of his boots, which had been painted. All of that was fine, but the man also had long sideburns, shaved into shapes, one was a star, the other was a moon. The hairy heavenly bodies were rather disconcerting.

Sal wasn’t about to kick them out, though he certainly wanted to. He hated that last hour, when getting new customers was rare, though Shivaun was ever ready to start reheating the gnocchi in case anyone came in.

Sal was back doing dishes, thinking about the problem of Dergle, when his head exploded. One minute, he was wondering about the ethics of damning a demon forever and the next, Kaixo’s voice was screaming in his head.

Sal! We need your help! You can get into the Tower. I lied about the coin being a marketing ploy. It can give you access to the Tower as one of the New Astounders. But you have to hurry. We’re pinned down by a frickin’ dragon. I knew there was a chance we’d get the dragon, and Theo is excited, but if we survive this, you can take me to court. We’ve already lost Ronnel and Amira. And I’m hurt. Please!

Sal staggered back and dropped a pan, which clanged on the ground. Sal hit the shelves, and piles of cookies came tumbling down onto him like crumby rain. So that was why Kaixo insisted he take the Umbra Cloak. This had been her plan all along.

Betty was on her hind feet. “What the hey, ace! What’s up with you? You look white as a ghost, and I can say that because we’re living with a couple actual of ghosts that I can compare you to.”

Shivaun emerged from the basement. She’d been down there, keeping things cool. Her words appeared on the wall. What is the issue?

Sal spoke from his seat on the ground. “Kaixo. She needs help.”

Betty squinted at him. “What kind of weirdness are you saying, pal?”

Sal waited a second for Kaixo to contact him again. When she didn’t, he knew what he needed to do. It was why she’d want him to keep three of the magic items. It had been her plan all along. But what could he do? He only had two proficiencies, and while one could be mildly useful when it came to combat, the other didn’t do anything unless he was standing in front of a stove.

That all kind of didn’t matter. It wasn’t like he could ignore her message.

“I have to go to her,” Sal said.

Betty winced as she patted her swollen belly. “Uh, and I think I have to go with you, though, if I’d have known I’d be doing the Tower today, I wouldn’t have eaten so much.”

Shivaun’s words cracked on the wall. What about the customers out front? They might need something. You cannot leave me!

Sal again saw the drawbacks of having an undead employee. “I doubt they will need more service, Shivaun. If they do, you have your gloves and your cloak. This might be the best time to test their efficacy.”

Betty limped to the edge of the shelf and motioned to him. “Come on, guy. The banshee will figure it out. We need to get going.”

Sal had an idea. “Shivaun, if it’s all right with you, I would like to take the Skycrack Wand with me. It might just save Kaixo’s life.”

She gestured to the words about them not leaving her.

“We have to go, my friend. I am sorry.”

The ghost sighed. You can take the wand. Just hurry back!

Sal scooped up the mouse, and then, he gathered up some things, including a slice of magical bacon he’d put aside, the Fear Blade, and the Skycrack Wand. Ready for adventure, he hurried out to the main room. “Alas, my guests, I must leave on some business. My associate, Shivaun Frost will be here to help you.” He’d made up that last name on the fly, though he thought it was a good one, since she talked using her frosty words.

The eagle women and the man all nodded. They’d already paid, so now they were just sitting there, taking up space. Normally, that might’ve driven Sal crazy, but now the former Dark Lord had more important things to worry about.

He hurried outside. He was surprised to see Dergle across the way, in a window of an abandoned building, staring down at the elderly church guards sleeping in the shade of a tent. The fountain’s works lay in pieces around them. They clearly were not enthusiastic about the work.

But why was Dergle gazing down on them like he wanted to devour them whole?

It wasn’t good. Sal would just have to trust that the bond they had would keep the demon out of trouble.

Sal did have one question for the mouse in his pocket. “I am confused on a certain point, Mrs. Don’t-Bite. You said I was forbidden from entering the tower. And yet, here you are, suggesting that course of action. What has changed?”

Betty burped. “Excuse me. What changed, bucko? Our freakin’ friends are in trouble. Besides, from what I get, they should’ve cleared things out before the dragon. We just have to hurry through before the rooms start to reset. What time is it?”

The narrative has been taken without authorization; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.

“A little after three.”

“Let’s hurry, friendo. But you ain’t wrong about one thing. No killing. Remember, if your Karmic Gauge rolls back to zero, you don’t just lose your level, you lose your freakin’ life.”

Sal had the Umbra Cloak on, so neither Dergle nor the elderly Templars saw him leave Champion Plaza. He hurried to Tower Road, took a left, and then saw the crowd gathered there for the four-o’clock entry. There were three entries a day—one at eight in the morning, one at noon, one at four in the afternoon. Sometimes, there were special evening climbs at eight p.m. but only for special guests or when the demand was especially high. The eight p.m. climbs were often on Saturday nights. The Godspear Tower was closed on Sundays.

Gail Questor was talking with a Scallia Capran in black and red armor, holding a huge battle ax. That had to be the leader of the four o’clock climbers. There were guards holding the crowd back, but Sal saw that one on the right was currently talking with a pretty, but rather ancient Primogeny woman, and they were deep in conversation.

Sal took off the cowl to move through the crowd. If he’d been invisible, that would’ve caused far more alarm.

When he got close to the edge, he put the Umbra Cloak’s cowl back on, and then squeezed through the crowd until his back was up against the wall. After that, it was a rather simple matter of walking down the wall until he was close to the front doors of the Tower.

The ornate wooden doors were cracked open, just enough, that he could slip inside.

That was luck. Or maybe it was the blessing of his Mysterious Benefactor.

Either way, Sal swept the hood of the cloak over him and hurried unseen into the Tower.

He found himself in a narrow room, the walls fashioned from beaten copper. Torchlight flickered off the metal. There was another wooden door with copper fittings. Or was it copper-colored bronze? Copper was such a soft metal. Bronze would’ve offered the door more support.

Sal thought his luck might’ve run out. While the front doors had been cracked open, the inner doors were shut. There was no lock, neither a doorknob nor handles of any kind.

“What gives?” Betty asked from his pocket. “We get in, but now we can’t access it? What the muck?”

Sal felt his heart fall. “Lo, my friend mouse, I have had a realization. We are trespassing. If I were to lose any Karma points, it would mean my life. I have but a single Karma point left.”

“But we’re doing the right thing here, chief,” Betty said. “You shouldn’t lose points for trying to help a friend.”

“I might. If my motivations are not pure, maybe. We do not know. Perhaps the point is moot. I cannot pass through the door.”

Then Sal remembered something. “Kaixo said I could use the coin to gain entry. “He removed the copper coin from his pocket and held it high. “I am another member of the New Astounders, unexpectedly. I would like to pass.”

The coin disappeared. From on the other side of the doors, a lock clicked open, and the doors slid wide to show a massacre. It was a long hallway, dimly lit, and yes, part of the walls were copper, but there was also wood paneling there. Lanterns lit up the room.

He moved inside, and there, on the floor, were butchered rat men, lying in pools of blood.

He recognized the race of mythic monsters—the Ratfinks. They definitely had bronze armor and weapons, though they looked copper enough. Down at the other end of the hallway was another door, which was propped open.

Sal walked past the dead Ratfinks, who were more of Alikor’s creations. He avoided the pools of blood, which wasn’t so very easy to do.

“Ugh, Ratfinks,” Betty complained. “Even dead they smell bad. Alikor was just messing around when he created the rat men. No women. Just men. No way to get more except, you know, the old-fashioned way. Having a god create more.”

“Maybe this is Alikor’s tower,” Sal mused.

“Probably not.” Betty sneezed. “Excuse me. I might be allergic to rat man fur. Which is very different than my fine Gwynar fur.”

They reached the other side of the room. Through the door was a wide circular room that had been blasted with fire. It had to be at least a hundred feet in diameter. There was a ledge on either side of a bowl-shaped basin in the floor. Lanterns hung in indentions in the wall at regular intervals. Down in the bowl, there were any number of smudges down there, and the scent of fried flesh hung in the air.

Across the way, on the other side, was a copper door.

“This room feels too big for this to be in the same tower,” Sal mused. “Should I be surprised that the Godspear is unnatural? No, no I am not.”

“Not natural at all, pal. But hey, let’s focus.” Betty shifted in his pocket. “Betcha a million dollars those were copper slops down there. Who doesn’t love a good copper slop? They’re like green slimes, only copperier. Oh, hey, watch out, the ledge has to be a trap.”

Perfect timing. Sal walked onto a pressure plate, and the ledge turned into a slide. Luckily, his Youngin Reflexes kicked in. He managed to grab hold of a lantern’s handle before falling to the bottom. With how slick and steep the sides were, he might’ve perished down there when the rooms recent for the four o’clock climbers.

Sal was glad he had that extra point in his BodyWork. He was able to cross the missing ledge section to get to the other side, and then he was back walking.

He hurried forward but couldn’t find the door.

He turned, and yes, he could see across the bowl. ‘How long do you think before they reset the…”

And then he saw the copper walls in the Ratfink hallway turn into molten metal, and the wood and everything else not metal burst into flames. The black, choking smoke boiled out of the hallway, as the bowl-shaped room started to melt under Sal’s feet.

His hands went to the wall, and it was hot to the touch. He was running out of time.

Betty shrieked in fear. “The door is there, buddy! We can’t see it up close, but we know it’s there. Just try it.”

Sal’s touched every part of the wall, and then he found it, a handle, hot to the touch. He pulled open the relatively secret door.

There was another hallway, too long for the tower, and it had any number of machines, with cogs and clockwork and swinging blades. However, most of the contraption had already been smashed, and so, it was easy for Sal to dart through.

There was one section that was just copper spikes sticking out of the wall. That trap hadn’t been triggered, and Betty choked in a breath.

“Oh, buddy, watch out!”

Again, his Youngin Reflexes saved his life. He ducked and dodged the flying spikes, darted between two sections of the hallway machine, and then found the body of one of Kaixo’s New Astounders, Amira Torry had misjudged a trap and wound up with a spear through her very sleek, very black armor. It was a shame.

He moved past her, more on high alert than ever. He ducked under some spears and found the next door. Behind him, all the copper was already melting.

It was getting so hot that it was hard to breathe.

Sal made it through the machine trap hallway and into a grand ballroom, where huge copper golems lay beaten and burned. They had been dressed in fine clothes, so much finery, that even Governor Ziggy might’ve approved of their fashion.

Once Sal entered the room, a band of automatons started to play music, and one last copper golem woman rose to her feet, gears inside her buzzing, as she swayed to and fro. She started across the room, heading toward him as the band started to melt, their copper bodies liquifying. Like with the Ratfink room, here in the grand ballroom, there was enough wood and cloth to start the fires burning, which brought terrible smoke.

The band’s music became muffled as their various instruments melted away, and it became a cacophony of the doomed.

Sal held his breath as he raced through the room. He ducked the lady golem, as she tried to bust his head in even as her copper body betrayed her, the molten metal making her face turn into an oozy howling hole.

Sal got splashed with her liquid copper, and his skin sizzled on his arm. The pain made him run faster.

“Was this a bad idea?” he asked.

Betty was too scared to talk. That was a bad sign.

They encountered more trap rooms, a barracks for the ratfinks, and in each room, the copper walls were burning away, and it was only by some miracle that Sal burst from the last hallway and into the dragon’s lair. The place stank of wood smoke, molten copper, and roasting chicken.

The copper dragon was there, above him, sitting on a platform. Only…the beast above him, wasn’t alone. The last room on the level had one purpose and one purpose only—to kill climbers. No wonder the New Astounders had lost two of their party.

If Sal wasn’t careful, he’d up as a third casualty. If that happened, there was no telling what Dergle Driptongue would do to his diner.