“And just what is that?” I heard a voice say.
“Me?” I asked.
“Goodness, it’s barely sentient.”
“How did that get chosen for this illustrious body?”
“How did something so weak develop sentience?”
“Its planet must be a garden world, ripe for plucking.”
“THAT IS ENOUGH!” I slammed my fist onto the table in front of me, denting the material. Pointing at the various representatives in turn, I said, “I have heard quite enough insults directed at my person for one day, thank you very much. I am here because I was apparently chosen. If you have a problem with it, I’d suggest you take it up with your gods. I am neither weak nor” -I made air quotes- “‘barely sentient’. I will urge you to treat me with the same respect you do each other, or nothing will get done here. Am I clear?”
I heard various murmurs of agreement, but one voice stood out amongst the group. “Ha! The primate has a spine! Good to know. I’ll be ripping it out later.”
Locating the source of the outburst, I fixed my eyes on the person. They appeared to resemble a bear if you shaved it of its fur, colored its flesh red, and gave it an eagle’s head.
“I would suggest you not attempt that. I am far from weak, even on my world, and I have forty years of pent up rage and aggression to dump onto someone. Please don’t try me,” I said in a low voice.
“F-forty years?” came the reply. I simply nodded. “How long is a year on your world?”
I began tapping a finger on the table, near where I’d dented it. “Each tap is one second. Sixty of those make a minute. Sixty of those make an hour. Twenty-four of those make a day, and three hundred sixty-four of those make a year. Do the math,” I said, rather annoyed. I waited for a few moments while they all did their math, and the owner of the eagle’s head looked sharply at me.
“That’s impossible. That makes you almost four hundred of my years. How long-lived is your species?” it said. The sentiment was echoed throughout the chamber.
“I am about middle-aged for a human. There are, however, reports of us living for one hundred twenty years. Humans can maintain their health and strength well into their old age. Please don’t try us,” I warned.
The person stood and lumbered over to me. They extended their paw palm up and said “Forgive my words. My species is rather warlike, and strength is prized above all. We are shorter-lived than you; I’m only twelve or so of your years.”
Up close, I could see that, while tall, they weren’t especially muscular. I gently took their paw and turned it sideways, then clasped it with my hand. “You are forgiven. My species is warlike, as well. We’ve spent the past several hundred years perfecting ways to blow each other up. Ideally, I’d prefer peace, as would most of us. When it isn’t an option, we are capable of great violence.” Addressing the room, I said, “I apologize for my outburst. I will endeavor to keep my calm for the time we are together.”
Looking up at my potential friend, I said loudly, “My name is Ivor Freyrsson, and I am here of my own free will, and I come with the hopes of peace.”
The giant gently clapped me on the shoulder and replied, “I am called Xemu. Thank you for your words.” They walked back to their seat.
I received a host of pings with names and histories attached, and filed them away for further review.
I sat back down, and the Council was silent for a moment.
Someone cleared their throat, and began, “Ahem. Since our newest member has introduced himself and we all have, I would hope, introduced ourselves, let us continue.”
“Thank you, Firsed. As I was saying, those of us in the Alliance are in need of assistance. We are finding ourselves beset by strange electromagnetic waves, and can only assume they are hostile in nature. We have, to the best of our knowledge, traced these back to a backwater galaxy in our plane and we lost the signal afterwards. Is there anything the Council can do for us?”
I thought for a moment in the humming silence. I raced through the messages I had gotten, and addressed the alien by name. “Daktu’un? If I may ask, what danger do they pose to your Alliance, and what do these waves sound like?”
“Sound? We are no longer able to use them for communication. That technology has been lost to time. As for danger? Probably none, but we have been attacked many times in the past with no warning,” came the reply.
“Luckily, Humans still use them for communication and entertainment. Send me a file. I’ll get to work on resolving it. I have an idea, and I hope I’m wrong,” I said.
After a moment, I heard a ping, and opened my messages.
Ivor,
If you can decipher this, the Alliance will be in your debt.
Daktu’un
I sent the file to my laptop, and began shuffling it through as many filters as I could. I left it to work, and resumed my focus on the Council.
“...and we are sensitive to the creature’s plight, but we cannot abide by wholesale destruction of entire worlds. I realize our plane doesn’t abide by the general laws of physics that the other eight do, but any help would be welcome.”
Several councilmembers brought forth suggestions, and all were dismissed due to reliance on the current known laws of physics.
“If I may?” I interjected into the silence.
“Yes?”
“I apologize, but I was setting up a program and didn’t quite hear the entirety of your issue. What are these creatures doing to destroy entire worlds and why?”
The idea replied, “Ah, yes. I forgot that you were only just implanted a few weeks ago. I was saying that we have something of a pest. They consume entire worlds down to the molten cores, and launch those into the parent star.”
“A few weeks ago? No, friend. I arrived today,” I replied.
A hush fell over the chamber. Firsed was the first to break the oppressive silence.
“Are you telling me that you arrived today, got verified by your god, received your implants and visited the Clerics? All before coming into the Council chambers?”
“Um, yes? Is there something wrong with that?” I hesitantly asked.
“Not really. It’s just highly unusual for a species with a lower technology equivalent to adapt this fast. Are you well, Ivor?”
I sat there a moment, taking stock of myself. “Yes. I’m in good health. Both mentally and physically. Well, I am now, anyway. Before this morning, I was in a great deal of pain due to the way my species handles injuries. I’ll explain that later. Suffice it to say that Humans are extraordinarily adaptable. We can survive in all of our planet’s biomes to some degree, and are quite capable of handling implants with relative ease. Physical and mental plasticity are hallmarks of being Human,” I replied.
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“Fascinating. You will have eight other Representatives that may wish to meet you. For now, let us return to the matter at hand.
“As I was saying, these pests keep consuming worlds, and we see no way of stopping them,” the idea repeated.
“How big are these pests? Are we talking as big as me? The size of Xemu?” I asked.
“Oh, no. They are tiny. About half your size. They are numerous, however. They don’t seem to ever be sated,” it replied.
I inquired further, “And they devour everything? From what we would recognize as plants and animals all the way down to the very ground itself?”
“Yes, precisely. All life is extinguished. Thankfully, they are confined to a single galaxy, but we worry they will spread,” it answered.
“Create a black hole in each infested world as you find them. That is one energy they cannot escape. Either that, or create a demiplane that will confine them until they starve, and shove them into it,” I said, shrugging.
Several members of the Council just stared at me.
Firsed was the first to speak up. “That has to be the most insane thing I’ve ever heard.”
The idea answered with, “But it is not outside the realm of possibility in my plane. We will start with the ‘demiplane’ suggestion. Excellent. Thank you, Ivor.”
“You’re quite welcome. I’m glad I could come up with something,” I said, smiling.
“Ivor, just which plane are you from, again?” asked a new voice.
“Uh. I really don’t know how to answer that, to be honest,” I said, shrugging.
What followed was a cacophony of incredulous voices that couldn’t understand what I had just said.
“Let me get this straight. You’re telling the rest of us that you don’t even know what plane you’re from?” replied the same voice.
“Yeah. My species hasn’t even discovered interstellar travel. Hel, we’ve barely landed on our own moon,” I said, pulling out my phone. “And this is a common device on my world. We use it to communicate, for entertainment, for certain kinds of work, and to look at pictures of cats on the internet,” I said, setting my phone down on the table.
“You’ve barely even gotten to your own moon? How young is your species?”
“Our best estimates put Humans at around two hundred thousand years old as a distinct species.”
“You’re a predator, aren’t you?” said Xemu.
“Well, yes. We are hunters. We also eat certain types of plants. Humans are omnivores. Why?”
The unknown voice replied with, “Your species is extraordinarily young to have reached your moon. This would explain why you don’t know which plane you are from. Most species are unable to determine that until three or four million of your years.”
“Huh. Well, I don’t know what-” I was interrupted by a ping from my laptop. “Hang on. It seems my program may have found something, Daktu’un.”
The council watched me curiously as I closed my eyes and started laughing.
“Ivor, please. This is no joke. What has your program found?” Daktu’un said anxiously.
“Is there a way I can share the results here to this room?” I asked, with a smile.
“Yes. Look for the waypoint for the Council Chamber.” said Xemu.
I closed my eyes and called up my menu. Sure enough, there was a heading for “Waypoint”, and I found the right one, and sent the file, which brought up a simple graphic.
“It seems, Daktu’un, that you and I are neighbors. This is what we call the Arecibo Message. It was beamed out before I was born in the direction of the M13 nebula. Let me ping my archives real quick for an attendant file.” I closed my eyes, and through a series of increasingly convoluted menus, I finally linked to the internet I knew. I found the Wiki entry for the Arecibo message, and sent it to the Council chamber.
“Hopefully this will answer the plane I’m on. Assuming I’m correct, anyway. How far away was that galaxy, again?”
“Around twenty thousand light years.”
“Howdy, neighbor!” I said and laughed again.
Daktu’un sat there dumbfounded. “I think we have much to discuss, friend. After the session, of course.”
“Absolutely!” I said.
The rest of the session went by in a blur of activity and information. Most of it I couldn’t quite grasp, as the technology involved was far too advanced for me to understand, but where I could, I did.
Once the session was adjourned, Daktu’un and Xemu approached me. Through the magic sight, I could finally tell more about these two.
Resembling a rather large bipedal jaguar, Daktu’un was a member of the Aarund, and was male, seventy of my years old, and was formerly a middling bureaucrat. Now, due to his inclusion in the Council, he was an advisor to the Alliance, a coalition of nearly a quarter of his galaxy.
Xemu was a member of the Urave, and male, also. He was twelve of my years, and happened to be a lower ranking soldier before his inclusion in the council. Like Daktu’un, that changed in a similar way.
Xemu sat on the seat beside me. I watched as the chair molded to fit his form. Daktu’un remained standing just behind Xemu.
“Ivor, thank you once again for deciphering that signal. We have been puzzling over it for several of your years,” murmured Daktu’un.
“Not a problem, friend. In fact, I think I know where you are. Generally speaking, of course,” I said, then began to pull up information on Messier object 13 on my phone, and the surrounding star maps. “These are sky maps from Earth. This right here” -I pointed to the constellation of Hercules- “is the area where we sent that message. Furthermore, this” -I zoomed in on M13- “is the exact location. You are somewhere in that area, some twenty-five thousand light years from Earth. I can gladly provide you and the Council with all our information, all our star maps, and we can maybe see about meeting outside this space?” I asked.
Daktu’un took my phone, and examined the maps. “I am unable to do that, or make those decisions. However, I will gladly take the information and relay it to my superiors,” he said.
Xemu looked from me to the dent in the table, curiosity burning in his eyes. “How strong is your species, Ivor? I’ve never seen anyone able to damage this material in the slightest,” he asked.
I looked at the table, and gave it an experimental squeeze. It flexed slightly between my fingers. “Well, I don’t know how to properly answer that. I know I’m of slightly above average strength for my kind, but beyond that, I don’t know. Sorry.” I said apologetically.
Xemu and Daktu’un looked at each other for a long moment, then both nodded their heads. Daktu’un spoke first.
“I will relay all this to my people. If your kind is as desiring of peace as you say, I’ll see about setting up a meeting, and a hopeful inclusion into the Alliance.”
“As will I. An exchange of information and technology, then?” Xemu asked.
“Yes, Xemu. I think that is wise for all of us on our plane. Let us speak to the others, and we will get back to you, Ivor,” Daktu’un offered.
I nodded. “This sounds good. Exciting, even. I’ll send you two as much as I can, including current political climates and alliances with as much unbiased information as possible. Does that sound agreeable?” I stated.
Both nodded, giving what equated to a smile in their species. “Then we shall see you during the next session. You’ve arrived at the end of this session, so the next won’t be for some time. We should make these alliances as swiftly as possible. There is no guarantee that we will all be here next time. In fact, take this” -Daktu’un handed me a small, heavy device- “it is a communication module. With it, you may speak to me across any distance. Even the vast gulf of space.”
“Ah. Quantum communications?” At his nod, I continued. “And I’ll assume this relays directly to you?” Another nod. “Well, I have nothing but information to give. And my personal friendship. Our technology is vastly inferior to most on this Council. Probably all.”
Xemu laughed softly, “I mean no disrespect, but comparatively, Humans are just emerging from their caves.”
I laughed with him. “And some of us still dwell there.” Both men laughed, then.
“We must take our leave, Ivor. Our worlds need us, and so do our families. Farewell,” said Daktu’un.
Xemu got up, clapped me on the shoulder again, and sauntered off behind Daktu’un. I turned the small device over in my hands, then slipped it into my pocket. Standing, I was startled to find the idea waiting for me.
“Well, hello there! What can I do for you, friend?”
“I wish to merely thank you for the advice. It seems to work, and we are containing the pest at this moment.”
“Wow. So fast? Huh. Well, I’m happy to be of help. Is there anything else I can do for you?” I asked.
“As a matter of fact, there is. Tell me how you had the notion of doing such a thing.”
“Yeah? Well, Humans are nothing if not imaginative. I’m more imaginative than most. Crazy bullshit ideas just happen to me,” I said with a shrug.
“Most interesting. I shall be certain to inquire if we have other problems that necessitate a more….imaginative…. Approach.”
“I will gladly help in any way I can,” I said, smiling.
“Excellent. Goodbye, Ivor.”
I waved as the mind-bending representation of an idea left. Freyr appeared on the far end of the room and was walking towards me.
“Yes? Have I done well, sir?” I asked.
Freyr wrapped me in a joyful hug. “My boy, you were amazing. The other gods were impressed with you and none of them are harboring any doubts about Humanity anymore. Come. We shall celebrate. The other gods have agreed to postpone a meeting to tomorrow to allow you to rest and reflect on your first day.”
He draped an arm around my shoulder and we left the now empty Council Chamber.