I opened my eyes to find a heavy stainless steel, studded door with a small panel to the side. I punched in what I knew to be the passcode, and the door soundlessly slid inside the wall, revealing a large, comfortable living room packed with game systems. There was a system of ropes winding their way across the walls and ceiling, with holes between rooms for my rats to climb and play on. The temperature was a comfortable sixty-seven degrees, and the air had the refreshing scent of sandalwood wafting through it.

I turned to Mil’Grash and motioned for her to come in. “Come on! Let me show you my home!” I excitedly said.

She smiled and walked in, breathing in the smell of the sandalwood and smiling. “It’s a little chilly in here. Is this actually comfortable for you?” she asked.

I nodded, replying with, “Oh yes. I’m hot-natured. Cool temperatures and a slight breeze are comfortable for me. Also, if I get too cold, there is a blanket in the hall closet to your left that I can wrap up in. It’s also a good temperature for people to get real cozy with each other on the couch,” I said, waggling my eyebrows suggestively.

Mil’Grash chuckled, saying, “I can see that. Where will your two companions be?”

I walked to a room on the right, opening the door into a veritable playground for my boys. “Their room will be here. As you can see” -I gestured to the ropes throughout the home- “they have ample ways to get from room to room without the possibility of being underfoot. They are also aware of what not to touch, now. Before, I had to worry about them chewing electrical cords and getting hurt.” I reached into the pouch, pulling out the two rats. “Now I don’t have to worry about that, right?” They both shook their heads, and I sat them onto a ledge, letting them busy themselves with exploring their new home.

I led Mil’Grash down the hallway to a room on the right. “And here is my room. It has an exceptionally comfortable bed that is designed to let me sleep comfortably, a powerful laptop computer for me to put my notes in, a bookshelf for any books I decide to bring, a bathroom off on the left, and a small altar devoted to my gods,” I said.

Heading down the hallway a bit farther, the hallway dead-ended into a ‘T’, and we took the left path.

“Down here are my guest rooms for if any of my friends want to come visit; yourself included, of course. And there is a bathroom in every room. The rooms are pretty much the same as mine, otherwise,” I said, smiling.

We headed back down the hall into the living room, and I pointed off to the side. “And over there is a fully stocked kitchen, where I can cook to my heart’s content.”

“Wonderful, Ivor. I am flattered that you would include me as a friend. One question, though. What was on the other end of that hall?” she asked.

“Oh, that. Down that hallway are rooms that I have purposed for various, ah, personal reasons. There may not ever be a reason for you to go down that way. I won’t stop you, of course. If you come to visit, my home is yours. The only thing I’d ask is that you not barge into my room. Nothing more crazy than that,” I said.

“Well, I’m not the type to just walk into someone’s room. I’d knock first,” she replied.

“So, yeah. This is my space here. If you want to drop by, send me a message, and I’ll key the door for you to just come on in,” I said, grinning.

“Good. For now, let’s go get food. I’ll take you to the cafeteria. Are the boys coming?” she asked.

“No, they’re tired, and want to rest. It’s been a long day for them,” I answered. I stopped and thought, then said, “Wait here a moment, I will return.”

She nodded, and I headed down the right side of the hallway. I walked into the room where I had various ‘toys’ on display, and selected a pair of short hunting knives and a punch dagger, and set them on my belt.. If I was going to wander into a room filled with various beings that may or may not desire my existence, I was going to be prepared, dammit. I’d learned that I couldn’t count on the kindness of strangers in my life.

Mil’Grash walked out of my room, and I followed her to the cafeteria, grabbing my bag. On the way, I got a response from Gruldia.

Ivor,

Thank you for being so kind to me. I think I will take you up on your offer, as terrified as I am. I am at your disposal, so call on me when you wish to get together.

Yours,

Gruldia

P.S. Please don’t be alarmed at my appearance outside of the Temple. Just trust my words on that.

I smiled and sent back an affirmative reply, letting her know that I’d be in touch soon, and focused on heading to the cafeteria with the tall Orc lady.

We passed several doors, some of which looked like nothing I’d ever seen before, others were shaped like hobbit doors, and still others were see-through. I wish I hadn’t looked into them. The occupants of the see-through doors were utterly alien to my eyes. Almost insanity-inducing.

After a few more minutes, we walked through a large archway, and I heard a cacophony of voices. Intoxicating smells assaulted my nostrils, and I began salivating once more.

“Here we are, Ivor. Our cafeteria. In this room, you will eventually see each and every Council member and employee of the Administration Center. Hopefully, you will find this to your liking. If you will follow me” -she began walking down the wall to our left- “I will show you how to get your food.”

I walked with her, my eyes and head never sitting still. Everywhere I looked, I saw new and unique entities. I could see nearly every sapient species from my various fantasy games, plus others I could barely recognise. Was that a human-sized tornado in a bottle eating what looked like spaghetti over in the corner? I hadn’t realized I had stopped moving and started gawking like an old-timey country boy at his first big-city fair until Mil’Grash gently took my arm and steered me away to a doorway in the back.

The story has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the violation.

“Come on, now. You’ve no time to be staring.” She snapped her fingers in front of my face, breaking my stupor. “Let me show you how this works, okay?” she said gently.

I directed my gaze to the oddly familiar contraption in the wall.

“This is-”

“A replicator, right?”

She looked at me in surprise. “Yes. How did you know that?”

“One moment. I’ll send you a short compilation video from a television show on Earth,” I said, hoping that my hypothesis was correct.

I closed my eyes, bringing up the menu. I rapidly navigated to an archive of shows from Earth, and settled on Star Trek: TNG. I spliced several short scenes together in my head, and sent the resulting video to her. It seemed to work, as she stood still for a moment and smiled.

“You seem to have gotten the hang of your implant. Good job. After seeing that, I understand a bit more now. Your entertainment media is extremely imaginative.” She cleared her throat. “So, I suppose instruction isn’t needed. The only thing you’ll need to do is connect yourself to the replicator, and send it the information for your world’s food. You should be able to connect with your planet’s archives from here.”

“That isn’t a good idea. My planet’s ‘archive’ is a cesspool of indecency and would likely result in some rather unwanted changes in your systems. Trust me,” I said with a serious tone.

“Well, how are you going to eat? You can’t survive for your Council sessions on air, can you?” she asked, her hands on her hips.

“No, but humans are omnivores. I can eat most plants and meats just fine. Tell you what. Why don’t you get a meal for yourself, and make it two? We will have lunch together,” I suggested.

“Well, okay. Don’t blame me if you can’t eat it,” she said crossly.

She turned to the replicator and stood still for a moment. Seconds later, two covered plates of steaming food appeared with two small wrapped packages. She handed me one, and we went to take a seat.

We walked past several tables, and the conversation died each time, only to resume again when we passed. Once comfortably seated, I lifted the lid on my plate and stared.

“Seriously?”

“I told you not to be upset,” she said, digging into her food.

In front of me was nothing more than spicy orange chicken on a bed of fried rice. I looked at the package, and unwrapped the lacquered chopsticks.

“Huh. No, don’t help me,” I said, holding out a hand to forestall her assistance.

She set her chopsticks down and leaned onto the table, watching me with a smirk on her face. I placed the chopsticks in my hand in the manner I’d been taught, and worked them for a moment. The smirk slowly fell from her face as I began eating the meal. It wasn’t chicken, but a stringy, somewhat greasy meat with a lemony flavor. Of course, that could be the sauce. It was pleasantly spicy, without the intense searing burn I’d been used to, and the rice was, well, rice.

“This is delicious. Thank you,” I said between bites.

“How did… Where did you learn to eat with those?” she said, shock in her voice.

“Oh these?” I clicked the chopsticks together a couple of times. “On my world, these are called chopsticks, and this meal is called orange chicken. The rice is surprisingly similar to Earth’s. The flavors are a bit different, and the spice is mild, but noticeable. I like it. It’s good,” I said as I continued to stuff my face.

Mil’Grash shook her head and continued eating. “You know, if you’d told me that humans can handle hot spices like those, I’d never have believed you,” she said.

“Hot? These? Nah. Not much more than a jalapeno on Earth. We have peppers that are thousands of times hotter than these, and people eat them for fun. We even extracted the chemical responsible and have been using it for self-defense for years,” I replied as I finished the rice.

“Hotter? A thousand times? Are you a common human?” she said incredulously.

“Common? Oh, no. I’m not a huge fan of hot and spicy food. This is a pleasant balance, though. Just the right amount of sweet to balance it out. Very nice,” I said, suppressing a belch. “Excuse me.”

She shook her head and finished her meal, then looked around. “I’m not seeing any of your colleagues here, so I think it’s about time to head to the Council Chambers. Leave your plate. The table will consume it all. Don’t ask,” she said, leading me out of the cafeteria.

We walked for a few more minutes, making small talk before we came to a large, ornate set of double doors.

“And here is where I must take my leave. The doors will not open in my presence. Thank you for your kindness today. If you need anything, you know how to get in touch,” she said, tapping her head.

“I will. Thank you for being my guide, Mil’Grash. I’ll catch up with you later. Bye!” I said. I watched her smile and turn away, vanishing down a hallway I never saw on the way up.

I nervously turned towards the doors, and gently pushed them open.

The murmuring inside immediately stopped, and every single set of ocular organs turned towards me.

I gave a nervous wave. “Uhm, hi?”

Freyr appeared beside me, and wrapped his arm around my shoulder. Addressing the group, he said, “This is Ivor Freyrsson of Earth. I am one of his gods, and I vouch for his presence here.”

Leaning close to me, he whispered, “Just keep calm, Son. Some of these beings literally feed on fear. That violet mist over there? That’s the one. There’s a reason it’s in a kind of bottle. Its god, and the rest of them, will be over here shortly to verify the both of us.”

I looked at him, concern on my face, “Both of us? I thought they could just tell that you’re a god.” I whispered back.

“Nope. I have to be verified by something bigger than us. That’ll put a stamp on me, and make the one on you mean more,” he explained. “Hang on, here they come.”

A stared as a mass of swirling energy, with motes of blue, gold and green throughout, approached the two of us. It enveloped Freyr, swirling around him. He lifted in the air a few feet with it, then was gently sat back down.

“Well. That was interesting. It looks like that particular entity is the one above us deities. I’ve been approved, as have you. The other gods will want to question you and I both after the session. Let’s get you into a seat, and get this show started!”

Freyr walked me to a strange bowl-like object, and helped me to sit down. The bowl began to shape and twist itself into a rather comfortable seat, cradling my butt and hips in such a way that there was no pain.

“Don’t worry. It’ll wake you if you start to nod off. I suggest that you take notes. You should be able to use your phone here. I’ll be in the gallery, conversing with the other gods. Do us proud, Son!” he said, and walked away, fading into nothingness as he did.

And then, I was alone, facing eighty-one other beings, some of which I could almost recognize, others that were merely shapes and colors, even one that was, incredibly, just an idea. I waved again, hoping that would put them at ease.

It didn’t.