Interviewer: Daryl Marges
Transcripter: Nadia Umar
Interviewer Marges: Thank you for joining us today. I’m glad we were able to settle our differences for the sake of the people.
Teagan: *laughter* That is very funny Mr. Interviewer or should I call you Daryl?
Interviewer: How did you-
Teagan cuts off the Interviewer.
Teagan: Let’s all be honest here, I have to be hooked up to this magic lie detector -because your regular ones are shit- and answer any questions you’d like no matter what. You can’t be prosecuted by the law because as far as the governments know you don’t exist. It’s a cute plan really but don’t try and pretend like this was ever a choice. And that's on record.
Teagan taps the hidden microphone on the table causing feedback.
Interviewer: *clears throat* So Miss Walker- or Teagan may I call you Teagan?
Teagan: I personally prefer Her Majesty the Queen but I suppose Teagan ‘s okay. It is a lovely name afterall.
The sound of muffled coughing and chuckling can be heard coming from behind the two-way mirror.
Interviewer: So Teagan, could you please recount the day you went missing, preferably from the start?
Teagan: Well, it’s quite a long story pero si tu quiere the entire thing, I shall.
Interviewer: I do.
Teagan: If I must…hmmmmmmm…
Interviewer: Yes?
Teagan: Nothing. So where to begin…I woke up at around 4 am that day to study for my biomedical test which I had first period that morning.
The interviewer glanced at the lie detector but it did not light up.
Teagan: I did my morning routine and set out walking to school around 7, I wanted to get there early. Around 7:30 I arrived at scho-
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The Interviewer starts to speak over Teagan.
Interviewer: Did you notice anything off about your commute? Was there anyone following you or looking strangely at you?
Teagan: I wasn’t done. You wanted the entire story so I’m giving it to you damn.
Under her breath, Teagan mutters: Kids these days can’t even respect their superiors.
Interviewer: I am older than you and this is an interview I am meant to be asking you questions throughout.
Teagan: And I disagree. Those are all fancy words that all boil down to interrogation. Anyways as I was saying I studied until the bell rang at 8 for my biomedical test. Uhhhhh…fuckkkkk I think after that I went to my French class before going to the PE lockers to change. It was a half day because some important administrator died or somethin’ so after lunch you would get to go home. So after lunch I went to detention just to get it over with.
Teagan waves her hands at the Interviewer.
Teagan: You all know what happens after that.
The Interviewer’s face contorted with rage. He sighs with frustration.
Interviewer: No. We. Do. Not. Know. Anything. Because all of you refuse to cooperate.
Teagan’s eyebrow raises in faux surprise.
Teagan: Oh? So you haven’t killed them yet?
Interviewer: We do not plan on killing any of you.
Teagan: Oh, just beating us bloody and bruised then. You do know police brutality laws are a thing right?
Interviewer: Look, I apologize for how you were treated. I would have done it differently but I was not a part of any of that operation so there is no reason to be making my life harder for it. So. What. Happened. After. That.
Teagan looks at the two way mirror.
Teagan: Guys, who ‘s gonna tell him?
Interviewer: Who is going to tell me what?
Teagan bursts out laughing and does not elaborate.
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~~PARTS OF THIS INTERVIEW HAVE BEEN CUT OUT AND STORED IN ANOTHER FILE AS PER I.S.A.H. PROTOCOL UNDER ARTICLE XV SECTION V~~
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Senior I.A. Kingsley calls a brief recess.
A discussion is had and Interviewer Daryl Marges is replaced with Interviewer Brad Bradley.
~
Recording resumes Interviewer Brad Bradley walks back into the room.
Teagan: Alright can we wrap this up already? It’s getting hella boring and honestly I’ve solved, scrambled and solved this rubik's cube a least 5 times.
Teagan Walker is found sitting atop a structure made of the two interview chairs and the table. The table was previously nailed to the ground.Teagan waves around a pastel rubik's cube.
Interviewer Bradley sits down in his own chair.
Teagan: Oh, bless your heart. What happened to the other agenté? Got scared did he Brad-Brad?
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~~PARTS OF THIS INTERVIEW HAVE BEEN CUT OUT AND STORED IN ANOTHER FILE AS PER I.S.A.H. PROTOCOL UNDER ARTICLE XV SECTION V~~
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Interviewer: Thank you, now despite knowing the answer to this, I still have to ask. At any point during this interview have you lied?
Teagan’s poker face breaks out into a shit-eating grin.
Teagan: Yes. Everything was a lie.
-end-