I ended up leaving the bar about an hour later after a startled busboy found me cowering in the men’s room and informed me that they closed twenty minutes ago. This time I left through the front. I had been sitting in my car for a bit waiting to start it up when my phone buzzed. It was rare for me to have any notifications that didn’t come from my parents and seeing as I had been out later than expected I checked it without much thought. It was an Instagram message from Jessica;

“Hey, I’m sorry. I think I blew up a little on you and that wasn’t fair. Zack is an asshole and this isn’t the first time he’s pulled this shit but you didn’t deserve to be banned for landing in the middle. I’d be happy to game again with you if you’d like. :) [https://www.royalroadcdn.com/public/smilies/smile.png] ”

She ended it with a smile emoji. I stared at that screen for five solid minutes, I swear. That little symbol turned the lump in my throat to a thousand little bugs which travelled down into my stomach and brushed against every nerve ending in my body. I had felt so terrible that Jessica lumped me in with that idiot, that I don’t think I realized how much I needed some sign, some recognition that I wasn’t like him.

My hand hovered over the keyboard to answer. I typed: “Hey don’t worry about it. You’re so great.” Then I promptly erased it. I tried about three different starts before I glanced up at the time and realized it was almost midnight. I closed my phone and drove home basking in the warmth of that smile.

The next morning I woke feeling happier than I could remember and for the first time this year I decided to join my family for breakfast. I walked downstairs, a literal spring in my step, to greet my dad, mom and Marcus who all looked at me like a leper trying to cough in their coffee. My mom, happier to see me than question the reasoning, greeted me with a tone of disbelief.

“L-Lester! Well, sit! Join us, Marcus make room for your brother.” She said, nervous to sound too excited about my attendance. For my dad the moment passed quickly and the appreciative look on his face was soon replaced by the furrowed brow that accompanied his reading of the Saturday morning’s paper. Mom practically ran to the stove to crack another egg in the pan which held the three she had almost finished. Eagerly but in a tone that seemed passive she asked to the pan,

“So how did your evening go at the Tap House?”

The rule was if you wanted to use the car, you needed to share where you’re going, but that didn’t extend to what I was doing necessarily. Zack, Jeremy, Emily and Jessica flooded back into my mind; the sweaty grin Zack held on his face, the way his cheeks warbled back and forth when he looked between Jeremy and me nervously. For a second I thought I’d stall and then the memory of Jessica’s smiley emoji flashed in my mind again and the thought fell free. With a smile I said,  

“It was a lot of fun actually.”

Mom turned from the stove, a sort of half smile on her face that could only be the attempt to hide her beaming pride. She half nodded, a sort of approving nod that said you keep doing you kid and I was about to tell her more when Dad interrupted.

“Weren’t you right by there?” Dad asked in a tone more akin to confirmation than concern as he turned the newspaper around to show me the picture of chalk outline in an alleyway plastered on the front page. For a moment I looked at the picture with innocent eyes, a sort of disconnected feeling that honestly felt natural. I looked at the picture assuming my dad was making a joke or there was something that was meant to jump out at me for a good few seconds before I realized it was the alley from last night.

“Oh fuck.” I said almost silently, but clearly not quite enough as my Mom turned from the stove, the admiration on her face now replaced with disgust.

“Lester.” She said flatly with a serious tone but I was already reaching for the paper from Dad who handed it over without protest. My mom walked over to my dad, placing a plate of scrambled eggs before him as my eyes scanned the paper frantically. “What was in the paper?” she said to my dad kissing his bald spot and leaning on him in a way that showed her obvious affection.

“A murder near where Lester was last night,” he said as he scooped eggs onto his fork and looked around the table for the salt. Mom picked up the salt and moved it towards him as she slid around his back to my side just in time for me to read the words I had been dreading;

“…still at large described as a young, African American in his late teens seen last with glasses, wearing a brown hoodie and blue jeans. If you have…”

This tale has been unlawfully obtained from Royal Road. If you discover it on Amazon, kindly report it.

I stashed the paper down below the table in a sea of crumpling noise causing my parents to stop and Marcus to look up from his iPad for the first time. The inquisitive, outstretched hand my mother held in anticipation of snagging the paper from me was slowly drawn back against her chest as my Dad spoke through a mouthful of scrambled eggs;

“What’s gotten into you?” he said flatly as bits of yellow egg fell from his mouth. My mom turned to him, presumably to tell him not to speak with a full mouth but I was already halfway up the stairs to my room.

I kneeled down on my bed and splayed out the newspaper, studying the entire article. Once I had read it, I read it again from the beginning noting each and every detail. They had me down to a T, anyone in the bar that night would be able to corroborate the description and all they had to do was speak with Jessica and...

“Is everything alright?” Kappa said from my computer. I had left in a hurry last night and forgotten to turn off the computer or exit Dunn.

“Yes and no, Kap. Mainly no.” I said, as I read the article out loud to him making sure to meet his eye-line (aka the camera) as I read out the description of this person of interest. He went quiet for a moment and then said,

“I assume that was you?”

“Obviously,” I said in annoyance, tossing the newspaper on my desk in defeat. Kappa thought for a moment, an action I had programed to appear as him turning up one side of his mouth.

“Did you kill him?” Kappa said with a calmness that was uncomfortable, as if no answer would change his perception of me.

“What? No of course not, why the hell would you ask that?” I said more confused than anything.

“Well I just don’t see why you’re concerned then.” He sounded very confused and trying his best to be understanding. Another programming detail I had added was the way he shook his head when confused in a sort of deniable ignorance.

“Well, because I took the…” file. I finished the thought without words. In the flurry of Jessica’s message and lateness getting home I had completely forgotten about what I had taken from the crime scene. Frantically I headed over to the back of my door where my coat hung, Kappa inquiring if I had more to add as I did. I felt around in the pocket of my coat and wrapped my fingers around the USB on my keychain.

I turned around, almost presenting the USB to Kappa.

“It’s your USB!” Kappa said innocently as if he had solved the mystery and was ready for a reward. I walked over the computer and removed it from my keychain as I considered the files within.

“It’s not just my USB Kap, last night in the alley… there was something on that dead guy’s computer and I uploaded it.”  I said, turning my attention back to Kappa who was sporting a face I hadn’t seen before, a sort of disapproving look.

“Lester…” he said almost mournfully. I had written his backstory, created his design; I knew he was a lawfully good character that was meant to be the characters moral compass. We may not have been in game but I could almost see the grey text Kappa Didn’t Like That appear in the bottom corner of my vision. He was about to continue on when there was a knock on my door.

“Lester?” My mom asked nervously, as if afraid she’d be startling a kitten. I turned to the newspaper lying on my bed and threw my blanket on it, sticking the USB in my pocket. I turned to Kappa, a knowing look he understood to mean disable audio, and opened the door.

My mom pulled her hand back to her chest in a quick gesture as if she had been about to knock again. Her face was one of sorrow and concern and as if all of a sudden I felt terrible. Years of the concern and care she had offered me suddenly came crashing down on me as I studied her face. Something about the way she was afraid to ask her son if he was okay shook me and in an instant I stepped forward and hugged her.

She was simultaneously relieved and more concerned than ever at the bizarre show of affection.

“What’s wrong Lester?” she said as if expecting me to reveal a cancerous mole to her. In truth, had she known that I was being sought by the police for removing evidence from an active crime scene her look of concern may have been apt but since this was not something I was interested in sharing I simply smiled at her and said,

“Nothing momma, I just realized I don’t appreciate you enough.”

Tears welled in her eyes as she stepped back and brought a hand to her mouth, the tiny bit of unexpected kindness like an oasis in my day to day desert of neglect. Her appreciation made me feel worse. How starved for appreciation she was, how kind and patient she was to never ask. I hugged her again and instead of pushing it changed the subject.

“It is okay, promise. Did you want me to come back down and eat?”

She held me for a long time before stepping back, sniffing the air and laughing at the tears that had stained my grey t-shirt.

“No, no,” she said through a plugged nose, “we’re just getting ready to go out to the flea market. Unless you wanted to?” she half-finished the thought knowing the answer. I shook my head no with a smile which she took in good will and continued, “Well, I left the egg in the pan. Eat whenever you’d like. I love you.”

“Love you too Momma,” I said as she turned and went down stairs. I waited at my door for a second before shutting it. I couldn’t hear the words but the worried tone of my dad seeing his wife’s tears, then the soft spoken tone of my mom and a pause. They were hugging. I closed my door and waited on the other side for a long while considering my parents before I heard the closing of the front door and the cough of our Toyota outside.

I looked back to Kappa who appeared once again and removed the USB from my pocket, walked to the PC and plugged it in.