“Kill that Slime!”

“How? It can move like that green jelly thing!”

“Oh, you mean Flub—”

“Anthony!!!!”

“Muahahaha! A loss of concentration can cost you a lot!”

“Ahh! Kill it! Kill this Monster!”

“Catch me if you can!”

“…that is definitely that idiot, right?” A certain silly girl asked her twin brother who nodded. “What is she thinking now?”

I could hear that! Also, why did you call me an idiot? I was watching peacefully and everyone attacked me suddenly! Also, if you knew that it was me, why didn’t you say anything? Well, it didn’t matter that much as I jumped about on top of the Player’s bodies. Hm, this room felt cramped because of those bodies on the ground, I should change room.

“I’m getting kinda bored with you slow Tanks and Warriors. See you later, fellas! Muahahaha!”

This time, I jumped outside the room, ignoring three layers of bodies (they were still alive, but I was sure they would be suffocated) on the floor. I decided to run outside and was greeted by myriad arrows and Elemental Magic from every Element.

“Hmph! Fool! Using Elemental Magic like that will cancel each other out! And Archers aiming at the fast monster like me is a foolish action! You should spread your arrows more so I don’t have space to escape! As expected of foolish humans, they don’t even understand basic things like this!”

Like I said, Elemental Magic they cast were canceled by the opposite elements while the arrows, I could dodge them easily since all of them aimed at my current position. I jumped around them, kicking their body and caused them to fall. While doing so, the Mages foolishly chanted their Spell even though I was close to them. In addition to that, they also aimed at their comrades. Perhaps, rather than strong Players of every Class, we needed a Commander, huh?

“Ah! Tank! Where is the Tank? Can’t you do your job here?” A Mage screamed in fear as he ran. Because he was annoying, I kicked his back before bounced back to the crowd of Archers and Mages.

“Impossible! Its battle strength is only 5! How can it move so fast?” Another man with Scanner exclaimed in fear. Well, it must be because it was an intelligent Slime who could control its body to its greatest potential. Speaking of which… ah, there she is. My target from the beginning was the silly Goddess who made me suffer! Yep, she was my only target!

“Fey, if you dare attack me, I’ll throw your body outside of the house.” The silly Goddess smiled at me and I coughed furiously because of it. Ugh, damn, silly Goddess, you are good!

“Hmph! Just you wait for my revenge!” I muttered inwardly when I had controlled my coughing fit. While I did that, I was already surrounded by Tanks, Warriors, Mages, and Archers. This time, they resembled a certain formation… at least that was what I thought. The Tanks were in the foremost and the Warriors were just behind the Tanks. The Mages were in the third circle and behind them were the Archers. As for the Healers, perhaps they were far behind everyone. Yep, they learned from their mistake, it seemed.

However…

“That formation is not good. That Slime can move so fast, so I think the Tanks and the Warriors should spread amongst Mages and Archers too. There is no ceiling in this place, so it can’t move as unpredictable as before. We only need to watch its first move and predict it, as it can’t change its direction while in mid-air.” That was the silly Goddess’ voice. As expected of someone who had fought for countless years. She sure had plenty experiences, huh?

The others seemed to realize it as they started moving according to that formation. Me? I didn’t plan to stop them, as I also wanted to learn how to break that formation. Besides, even if this Smokeless Slime was killed, it wouldn’t be a problem at all. I had to learn how to deal with this kind of formation.

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“Heh, silly humans, no matter what you do, it will be useless in front of the Great Slimerin! Muahahaha!”

And then… there was no and then. The Archers didn’t aim at me but attacked randomly. Moreover, the Mages used Fireball and I couldn’t dodge them all. As I dodged, a Warrior suddenly appeared in my path and stabbed me, and I died. Yep, there was no and then, as I died after being hit by one [Fireball] and a stab.

…

I returned to my body and coughed incessantly. I felt like my chest was stabbed, so it was really painful, but the pain gradually subsided.

“Having fun? Hey, why don’t you fight me using your Slime too?” A certain swordsman in black had unsheathed his sword!

“Wait, not today, alright? I don’t want to be stabbed again!” I refused and he looked disappointed.

“What a pity. They look like they are having fun.” He said as he looked back outside the windows. Since our house was slightly on high elevation, he could somehow see and hear the commotion. But I wondered if he could see it clearly… I, for sure, wouldn’t be able to see that far.

“Er, hey, can I ask you a question?” I asked.

“You already did.” He replied nonchalantly.

“Another question?” I asked again.

“What?”

“I just want to ask… the first time we met, the letter for that cousin of mine… was it a love letter or a challenge letter?” I asked bluntly.

“Huh? Are you a fool? Why would I give her a love letter? Do you think that I’m a fool that would fall in love with 2D character? No, you won’t understand what I’m saying… anyway, you misunderstand. It’s not love letter! Wait, don’t tell me, you call me pervert because of that?” He asked back.

“Well, hearing your words annoyed me so I responded like that.” I replied honestly. If he talked normally, without looking down on me, perhaps I wouldn’t do that. Perhaps.

“…did I say something wrong? Well, whatever. Anyway, how can your Slime be so strong while its power is actually weak?” He asked.

“Hm? Isn’t it simple? Because I’m skilled, just like you. You are skilled with your sword and defeating people with stronger raw strength but less skilled than you is easy, right?”

He nodded. After all, I had trained controlling my Slime for countless years. I knew every inch of its body and I knew how to control even the tiniest part of its body easily, so naturally it would be easy for me to win against normal people. If I could use my Familiar Slime, I could easily deal with those people earlier. As for the Smokeless Slime, it was too weak and too slow so playing with them was my limit.

While we were chatting about this and that, the silly Goddess came home with her brother and Donald. Perhaps it was only my imagination, but it seemed Donald had become a part of this house too. It must be my imagination.

“Well, since your cousins are there, I’m leaving. Right, I’m taking a hundred EXP Potions for myself.” Zero said as he walked out of the room.

Taking a hundred EXP Potion? Hmph, I hoped he would be bloated to death after drinking too much EXP Potions!

“Yo, Fey! It’s good to see you!” The silly Goddess entered the room with her silly smile. Her smile was really annoying and if I were stronger than her, I would definitely hit her face once or twice every time I saw her silly face.

“…”

“Hey, what’s with the silent treatment?” The silly Goddess sat beside me and asked, but I was too lazy to respond to her.

“…”

“Ow, come on, you should smile more! Here, I’ll help you.” She pinched my cheeks and it hurt.

“Ouch, ouch, stwop iwt siwwi Gwoddess!!! (Stop it, silly Goddess!!!)” I yelled at her but she didn’t stop. Seriously, her strength was ridiculous and even if I had my full strength now, I wouldn’t be able to escape. Moreover, what’s with that dumbfounded face of her!? She didn’t realize that I yelled at her?

“…ah! Oh, sorry, Fey, I never thought that they can stretch so much.” She said while kneading my cheeks. Seriously, it hurt a lot! I knew how the baby felt now… I never kneaded baby’s face, but why was my face kneaded like this? Karma was really illogical!

“Hmm, anyway, what were you doing, using your Slime to make such a chaos? Thanks to that I noticed our weakness though.” She asked while still kneading my cheeks.

“I just wanted to watch the tournament, but you guys tried to kill me! (because she kneaded my cheeks, I didn’t speak clearly, but it was annoying)” I defended myself. “Also, you guys left me alone even though you know that I will die if being left alone in place like that!”

“…die because of that is exaggerating…” The silly Goddess looked away with guilt.

“Really? I would die because of the embarrassment. You want to try standing naked in a public space like that?”

The silly Goddess still didn’t dare to look at my eyes. “…why would I stand naked in public space? Also, your analogy is totally wrong.”

“Oh, really? You left me there and I fell to the ground (more like I intentionally make myself fall to the ground), and everybody looked at me and laughed at me, is it not as embarrassing as standing without clothes there? Do you want to try it?” I said.

“…ahaha, well… oh, Brother! Come here! I have something interesting here!” The silly Goddess abruptly called her brother. She ran, huh?

“Her cheeks are so soft and they can stretch like a mochi! You can try it! It’s totally addicting!”

Hm? Wait, what did she say?

The silent God silently kneaded my cheeks and nodded while his expression loosened up a bit.

“I’m not a squishy!” I angrily rebuked them, but both of them laughed (in my eyes, though actually, the silent God didn’t utter a single voice at all). Ah, I was so angry that I decided to close my eyes and ignored them, no matter how much they pinched my cheek!

…

Meanwhile, just outside the house, Donald and Zero were talking to each other. They, however, stopped talking when they heard the commotion from inside the house. They listened attentively and looked at each other.

“I never knew that girl as young as her can be so… interesting.” Donald said in low voice.

Zero nodded, however, he quickly shook his head. “Of course, she is an NPC, so she is perfect, appearances-wise.”

“Ah, right. But the NPCs of this game are so life-like, as if they have soul, don’t you think so?” Donald said.

Zero nodded. “I can’t deny that.”

“Her cheeks are so soft and they can stretch like a mochi! You can try! It’s totally addicting!” The voice of Briana was heard by the two of them and all their serious talk returned to a puff of smoke when they heard it. Both of them could imagine a certain girl’s cheek and both of them blushed furiously.

“…I think if we keep listening to them, we will get a pervert title.” Donald said dejectedly, but he didn’t move at all.

“…well, everyone in this village already labeled me as pervert, so it doesn’t matter.” Zero replied calmly, though there was a hint of self-mockery in his voice.

“Ahaha… well, do you think she will allow us to pinch her cheeks too? I’m really curious now…”

“…you know what? I’m regretting the fact that I didn’t try pinching her face earlier. She would be angry, but I think that’s all.” Zero muttered inwardly, this time, he felt really sad for a reason known only to him.