After entering the meeting room, I was faced with five seated menacing aliens. Three men, and two ladies.
"You're late, Maria," a man with glasses said.
"S-sorry. I was busy," Maria apologized.
Busy fooling around, yeah.
The man brushed off her apology and turned his gaze to me.
"Is this the human that killed a high-grade alien?"
Come to think of it, I killed one of their men. They weren't going to punish me for that, right? No, that's unlikely. They gave me a weapon, after all.
"That's right. He's my lover."
I see what's going on. She's merely claiming me as hers to protect me from any form of punishment. I should've known she never held any romantic feelings towards me. Well, that's what I can confirm in this meeting. If you guys are going to use me, then I'm going to do the same.
I might be branded as the highest degree that a scum could ever reach for what I was about to do, but I wanted to confirm where I stood.
"Lover? What are you talking about, woman? We don't bear such feelings towards one another, nor are we dating. Stop lying to your colleagues; it's not a healthy look," I said coldly.
"Huh?" She responded perplexed and disheartened. Even a deaf person could hear the sorrow in her tone.
Ever since I met her, the only expression of hers that I knew was an enthusiastic, cheerful one. Not that I met her long ago, though. Anyway, that wasn't the only reason I was surprised when I saw her disheartened expression at my blunt, factual words.
She was only faking her feelings to protect me, right? So, why does she look so heartbroken?
Her gaze averted from mine, and a single blink released all of her tears streaming down her face.
"Is that what you thought I was doing?" She asked, still refusing to meet my gaze. "Cain, you idiot..." She muttered before storming out of the meeting room.
Am I in the wrong? No, that's impossible. We don't even know each other.
Anyway, now I can act independently. I looked at the members, and all of them returned my gaze with a glare. The atmosphere immediately became eerie and heavy.
The fact that they were angry that I emotionally destroyed her, and the fact that she was initially part of this meeting. It served as proof that she was one of the strongest among the aliens. That more or less gave me the range of their military strength.
Now then, it was time for negotiations. I brushed off their sharp glares and the complex atmosphere.
"Anyway, ladies and gents. Shall we proceed with the negotiations?" I asked them with an audacious cheerful smile.
"Proceed? Negotiations? Get Maria back in here before I rip out your heart, kid." It was none other than the man with glasses that spoke up.
It appears I made an incorrect move. While I may have confirmed various things, she ultimately hindered my plans as a whole. I guess I needed to get her back.
I left the room, but not because of the man's instructions but because of my objectives.
Immediately when I left the room, a sword pricked my sensitive skin. Kuro pointed her blade at my neck, enraged.
"You bastard! I should've trusted my gut when it told me to kill you!"
"W-wait, Kuro. Calm down!" Shiro tried to calm her down.
Now then, what move to make? I could easily taunt her further and finally die, but I'm not that much of an asshole. I at least want to set things straight and take responsibility for my actions before dying. More than that, I was conflicted between dying and destroying humanity. I guess there's no other way around it.
"Listen, Kuro. I know I've made a mistake, but at least give me a chance to fix it. If I fail, you can kill me, okay?"
She withdrew her blade from my neck and sheathed it. The fact that she didn't immediately decapitate me meant there was still room for negotiations. Of course, she detested me to the core, but that didn't apply to Maria as well. If she killed me, what would Maria think of it?
"Fine, but you only have one chance," she said before walking off but came to an immediate halt. "But, if you fail..." With a shaft head tilt, she sent a spine-chilling glare my way. "I'll kill you. Got that, you piece of shit?!"
Alas, the psycho blessed me with her disappearance.
"Thanks," I said before heading to her room only to be stopped by Shiro.
"Will you be okay? Big sister Maria isn't someone who can easily be swayed. There are only a handful of ways to brighten her mood. If you want, I can..."
"It's okay. I got this."
Shiro tentatively moved out of my way. I then immediately marched to Maria's room.
It would've been of great benefit if I accepted Shiro's tips and help, but swaying Maria with lies would only be kicking her when she's down. I wanted her to forgive me, but only due to my honesty. Not some cheap bribery or tricks.
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That's right. Just this once. Just this once, I'll be honest with my feelings.
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Just when I was about to tilt the doorknob to open the door, I heard sobbing inside.
Is it really okay for me to barge in? Wouldn't it only make matters worse? Shouldn't I come back when she's ready to talk?
I gritted my teeth.
Why am I hesitating? Why am I scared? Don't let your past relationships define who Maria is!
My grip on the doorknob tightened.
As much as I wanted to run away. As much as I hated women for always breaking my heart and betraying me. I just couldn't... I just couldn't ignore her cries.
It didn't matter whether I unreasonably made her cry or not. The reason did not matter. Even if she was a stranger and cried due to some other completely irrelevant reason. I still couldn't ignore her cries.
It didn't stop at just her. That's right. I've lied a lot thus far. I lied about hating helping other girls with their problems.
The truth is...
I just wanted to help those in need. Those who were in pain, because...
I know that feeling too damn well.
I know how it feels to not have anyone to give a damn about it. So, I wanted to make sure that everyone else had a shoulder to cry on. No matter how heavy my shoulders were, I'd still stand up to let you cry on it.
Finally, I tilted the doorknob and slowly opened the door.
Once I enter this room, I'll discard all of my lies.
I knew she wasn't lying about her feelings, nor was this heartbreak of hers an act. She couldn't sense my presence outside of the room. She was too focused on crying her heart out—her aching heart. It was only when she could physically see me that she was aware of my presence.
"Maria..."
I approached her, but she threw a pillow against my chest with great strength. I flew against the wall, causing my torso wounds to open. The bandages and pillow became drenched in my blood.
Well, I deserved that.
It hurt like hell. I just wanted to pass out. This wasn't like when I was fighting that high-grade alien. I had no adrenaline to keep me going.
No—those tears are my adrenaline—my reason!
Blood gushed out of my body, but I forced myself up. I once again approached her, but she didn't throw another pillow.
Even after what I said, she didn't hate me. She was only sad and tried to defend herself from any further pain. However, even if I would cause her more pain, she refused to throw another pillow—even if I was going to hurt her, she didn't want to hurt me.
Just how much can you love someone you've just met?
I remembered that Shiro said Maria's feelings could not easily be swayed, but if that was the case, then why did she fall in love with me so quickly? But then I also remembered that Maria said love was illogical and unreasonable.
There were more than a hundred ways for me to easily handle this situation. However, I'll choose the hardest way. As I said before, you can create countless lies, but there only remains a single truth. In terms of value, that'd make the truth worth the most. I'll take the honest route.
I'll give you the best.
Once again, I hesitated. I opened my mouth, but nothing came out.
Be honest! Be honest!
I couldn't say anything even though Maria was kind enough to give me a chance. Stop taking her kindness for granted!
Be honest! Be honest!
"M-Maria... sorry."
She didn't respond or look at me. She simply buried her face in a pillow.
"I was being a coward. I was scared. I allowed my shitty experiences to immaturely evaluate you. I've shut my heart closed, claiming that nothing good could happen if I let it out. I doubted everyone and everything good. I thought anything good was merely something bad in disguise."
I took a deep breath before continuing.
"But that was immature of me. So, please let me make up for it. Please give me a chance to draw a proper impression of you."
No, I'm still not being honest. Say it!
I gripped the hem of my shirt, struggling to utter the words I wanted to say the most.
Say it!
Finally, she faced me.
Now that it came to this, I wasn't going to half-ass it.
Another deep breath.
I loosened my grip and composed myself. I met her gaze with resolve.
"Please give me your love once more. Please make me your lover. Please... go out with me, Maria."
I lied all this time to protect my heart from breaking again. However, that was simply me being a coward. I called everyone pathetic, but I was the pathetic one. I was too afraid to give my heart to someone again. I yapped about equality and whatnot, yet I couldn't give her my heart when she gave me hers.
The truth is...
"Your beautiful, flawless, pink hair. The moment I saw it, I wanted to caress it. It did not stop at your hair. Your captivating pink eyes, your alluring figure, your attractive smile, your smarts, your enthusiastic, cheerful personality—I wanted all of it to myself. No, I still do... I—"
"No more, Cain."
"Huh?"
"I'm a simple-minded person. I easily get distracted by my desires, and I can't even focus on the important stuff. I'm clumsy. I'm selfish. I'm greedy. I'm possessive. I'm needy. I'm annoying. I have many flaws, and I haven't even listed half of them."
I looked puzzled, trying to understand what she was getting at.
"So, Cain. There is no need to resist. There is no need to doubt. I'm imperfect. Don't ever tell yourself that you aren't worthy of me. Don't ever doubt my feelings when I embrace you. Just like you, I'm imperfect. Even if I appear cool on the exterior, I'm a mess inside. So, don't doubt... don't find it hard to believe when I approach you—when I choose you."
She saw right through me once again. The only reason why I brushed off her feelings as an act was because of how perfect I perceived her. I thought it was too good to be true that she was attracted to me.
"You're truly a frightening woman, Maria."
She responded with a pout before smiling again.
"That's right. I'll frighten away all the guys that approach me. After all, the only one I want is you, Cain."
Yep, she was frighteningly sharp. However, not sharp enough, because...
She got off her bed and then leaped to the exit.
"Shall we go to the meeting room? Like I said before, it's an emergency." She grinned cheerfully once more.
Because I was still not being honest. Being in a relationship with someone who possessed great power and authority would naturally boost and solidify my standing in this place. If I couldn't die from natural means, then all I needed to do was die from something inevitable. To do that, I needed to survive until this war started. For all of that to work smoothly...
A small smile found its way onto my face as I imagined my badass death—dying while fighting in a war, along with the possibility of killing those shitty humans.
Right. For all of that to work smoothly, I needed to keep playing lovey-dovey with this woman.
People say that in order to fool your enemy, you need to fool your friends first. However, I don't have any friends.
I tapped my temple lightly.
Just this. This thing I use to converse with you, readers. As long as you guys believe I was being honest from the bottom of my heart, she would too. To begin with, why would you believe a guy who keeps on using the word 'honest'? Only a guilty person would need to clarify such a thing. Pfft, fools.
I shrugged before following Maria back to the meeting room.
Jokes aside, I lied to myself to convince my heart that everything I said during that drama scene was true. As far as I've seen, Maria is reeeeeally sharp for some reason, so I didn't think half-hearted lies would work.
As I focused on my five senses, I could hear the happiness in her hum; I could see the curve of her smile when she occasionally looked back; but from my other three senses...
I feel the coldness from my deceiving heart; I can taste the bitterness from my dishonest tongue; and lastly, I can smell... the rotten stench of a liar.
My naive and youthful part was disappointed that I wasn't honest. However, my experience refused to unlock my heart. So, as long as my heart was locked, I'd always remain... a liar.