I stood on the promontory overlooking the road. I held onto my invisibility for just a bit and started this little speech.

“Hello, disobedient mortals.” Mortals…mortals…mortals. My voice echoed. “You and your violent, backbiting ways have displeased me…which is I, Josh, god of minor shocks, partly cloudy nights, and probably some other things in the future.” Future…future…future. That was actually getting the attention of the Abandoned, so I decided to expand on it. “Yes! Your ways have displeased me. I do not like the way you tear down your own houses and buildings around yourselves. I do not approve…” Do not approve? Weak. Let’s do better through better vocabulary. “I condemn” Nice! “your envious and self-serving violence. So desperate are you in your minds that you don’t stop with attacking my people,” Wait, was there something weird about what I just said? No time to think about that. Gotta keep condemning! “but also you direct your grasping violence to each other, who are your brothers in corruption!

Not only that!…” Actually, it was mostly that. “But also…you smell bad and!” Oops. I put a weird emphasis on ‘and!’. Now I really have to keep going or else I will sound unconfident. “And! And!” I heard somewhere that in a performance if you screw up once, you should do it again two more times with pride. Then people will think you meant to do it. “Most of all, you have strayed from the light!” Yes. That is totally something a god would say. Okay! They were starting to get really pissed now. Good! Right? Now was the time for the finale.

What I just said about the light gave me an idea. I dropped my invisibility and at the same time, I allowed my god power to manifest in its essence. That was god talk, sorry. For you mortals, it basically means showing off the source of your god power in all its glory. This is what makes you appear to both mortals and gods as a true god. It’s recommended to basically never do it unless you want a mortal to be in total awe of you.

In this particular instance though it had a slightly different effect. The entire mass of Abandoned, already pretty pissed became simultaneously enraged and slaveringly lustful, apparently over my god power. It worked far, far too well. The Abandoned were now looking at me in a way I really didn’t care for at all.

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So that was why, a short while later, I was soon running harder than I had ever run before. I was losing my ability to keep the sky and moon visible. Clouds were beginning to pass in front of them. I was running at such a speed that I was actually almost keeping pace with the dogs. Which was good because I didn't have a lot of leftover power to shock them. Despite that fact I could hear the human Abandoned were still after me in force. Seeing that god power really sent them over the edge. They were after me with a desire we hadn't seen before. I could hear them bawling and howling for me. Nope nope nope nope.

I had to keep this mob away from my…the people. What if I lose my ability to keep the moon visible completely? Will they be able to follow the road for the last leg of the flight? Should I try to circle back around? Is there any kind of trap I could lead this mob into? I needed a second to think.

I decided to face down the closest pack of dogs. Before I could scare them off with pain or make them hesitate. Now they were so focused on getting to me that I pretty much had to shock them into unconsciousness in order to stop them.

I chose a little rocky outcropping as some likely high ground. The footing was a little slippery on the bare stone but the outcrop had a partial sheer face on one side that would prevent the dogs from surrounding me.

I ran up the sloped part of the outcrop. I really was out of breath this time. Not something I was used to as a god and it sucked. How do mortals deal with this? The dogs were close enough that I was able to immediately turn on them and start blasting. I could see far enough from this vantage point to notice that this was a total mistake. Man, that’s a lot of dogs. I thought to myself. That is so so many dogs.

***

“Are you seriously writing down what he is saying?” Asked Decius. They were both still recovering from the awe they felt when witnessing the true glory of a god, but Decius was acting like it wasn’t even that great.

“These are the worlds of a god in his splendour. If he is to be a god, he must have commandments and prohibitions and injunctions.” Replied Epictetus in a whisper.

“He was probably just winging it! If you write that stuff down you are going to end up with a fucked up religion. Let me see what you have so far.”

Decius looked at the travel scroll:

-Attack not those who are different from you. How much less so your own brothers?

-A fool destroys the supports of his own house while he is in it. A madman destroys the pillars of his own society.

-Bathe.

-Walk always in the light.

-Nudity OK.

“Hmm… Not bad.” Said Decius. “Don’t you feel like you are missing some context though?”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, don’t you think the actions of a god are more important than some rules he made up on the spot? Like, if you look at it that way then you should write down something like ‘attract negative attention to yourself in order to save others’.”

“…”

“…”

“…Shit! This is our chance!” Whisper shouted Decius. “You wait here, Epictetus. I will bring the group to the path! This god actually did something useful even if it was probably by accident!”

V0.2.0 12/7/23