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That Scottish Play
Act 2 Scene 1

Act 2 Scene 1

Banquo enters with Fleance, who is holding a torch.

Banquo

Boi, how’s your sleepy time?

Fleance

The moon has gone bye-bye. The Cookoo hasn’t happened yet.

Banquo

The moon goes away at midnight, yeah?

Fleance

I’m thinking it ain’t that early daddy-o.

Banquo

Here take my stabby, the heavens are being cheap with the shinies. Take this baby too, I’m friggin wiped out dude. But I can’t seem to go nighty-night. Mr Sandbro, bum bum bum bum, let me sleep in peace!

Macb enters with a Servant who carries a torch.

Give me back the stabby, yoo-hoo?

Mac B

It’s me Bank-bro.

Banquo

Can’t sleep neither huh? The king daddy’s gone sweepy-pie. He’s been straight up having the time of his life, and since he owes it all to you, he’s given you so many presents. Even this massive effing rock bro, (Hands Macb a diamond) For your wife’s serving.

Mac B

I know, it’s such a shame we weren’t properly prepared for his visit.

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Banquo

It’s all good baby. I had a wild dream about those witches. They ain’t been wrong yet.

Mac B

Yeah, I guess you’re right. They ain’t been on my mind, but hmu if you wanna talk about it.

Banquo

Do you want to?

Mac B

Sure, no probs. Chill with me for a bit and when the time comes good things will happen.

Banquo

Of course, my dude. I’ll do anything, I just don’t want any regrets.

Mac B

Until then, bro, peace be with you my dude.

Banquo

And also with your spirit, my main money man.

Banquo and Fleance exit.

Macb

(To the servant) Go tell the wifey to strike the Boing maker when my drink is ready. No go to bed.

The Servant exits.

Is this a Short stabby I see in front of me, the graspy end pointing towards my gripper? (To dagger) Come here lil dude, (Grabs at the air in front of him without touching anything) This is wack, I can’t feel you but I see you. Don’t be like that bro. Let me touch you. Or am a just straight guano, hallucinating a stabby. I still see you, and you look real as my fear of bunny rabbits. (pulls out his own dagger) Dude, you’re pointing towards the kings bedroom! That’s where I was gonna go! How wild! I was gonna use your twin. My sight balls must be going, or nothing else is. I can still see you and the life juice on your blade and handle when did that get there. (to himself) There’s no stabby here, it’s the life yoinking I’m about to do it’s messing with my think pan. Now half the world is asleep and seeing evil dreamy bois. Witches are offering sacrifices to their goddess, Hecate. Old daddy murder was woken by his wolf, and he sneaks to his aim like that famous bad old dude who did a naughty in some young girls bedroom, quiet as a spirit boy. (Speaking to the ground) Stiffen up, ground. Don’t tell anyone where I’m going. I need it to be quiet tonight. Dude this silence feels so right. While I stay here gabbing, Duncan lives. I’m talking myself outta this.

A bell rings.

Imma do it, this stabs is happening. The bell commands it. Don’t listen to my bell Duncan. It calls you the sky or the fiery place.

Macb exits.