“What do you believe makes us human?” Is it simply a matter of birthright? Is it the emotions and experiences we possess? Perhaps our ingenuity and intelligence? Or, maybe, are all humans nothing but animals?
Is it possible to lose one’s humanity? When faced with challenging circumstances, what leads us to abandon our facade and act without regard to the constraints we have established on ourselves? Once lost, is it possible to rekindle it? Is repentance for one’s sin even fair?
After all the abhorrent atrocities I’d perpetrated, did I earn the right to be happy? Or even just being here, with these tainted hands. Regardless of how many years I tried to make amends for... all the people who have died as a result of being affiliated with my dreadful existence. All the lives I took in quest of personal vengeance, which I believed was justified at the time.
But all those sins were for nought because I lacked the guts to finish it, choosing scorn to a calm existence, fearful of what could have happened if I had slain the last deity.
Enough with the self-pity. What will you do when you’re in my shoes? I wonder if you’ll follow in my footsteps. Or, perhaps you’ll seek a more righteous path. All I can hope for you is that you discover the true nature of this world before it’s too late. Hopefully, unlike me, you will have the guts to fulfil our purpose.
I doubt you’ll remember anything when you wake up, but please heed my words of advice if you do. At the time of my death, as you will soon discover, I was transferred to a new planet, this miserable, cruel world called Ishtar.
It is a world without light or hope. Even its gods have forsaken it. They’ve abandoned us, deciding that our lives aren’t worth the trouble, and have secluded themselves in their sanctuary while we steadily descended into hell.
They were gods in title only. Their demeanour was more akin to that of devils.
Lowly beings, with even lower character in spite of their boundless might, who were fearful of losing their power and in turn perpetually seeking more, abandoned their celestial duties of safeguarding humanity in favour of searching for means of escaping extinction... ”
—Huh? That voice in my brain just now, what the hell was it? What were they saying?
What’s this? More people? What are they saying? Wait, these are real voices, not just in my head.
I had no idea what had just happened or where I was at that point.
My eyes had sprung up without warning. My heart was pounding, and I couldn’t stop shivering. My head was booming, and I felt a slow lingering pain throughout my body.
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Was it simply a bad dream?
Wait-
Why are there so many people around me? I must have passed out in the middle of the road, and of course, curious passers-by had gathered to mock me or simply not mind their business. At the very least, they could try to assist me...
What exactly are they saying? Is it possible I’m suffering a stroke? No. I’m still aware of the situation. They must not speak English, but how is this possible? Really? Is there no one speaking English in the heart of Vancouver?
My thoughts were all over the place, but I immediately realised what was going on. It couldn’t possibly be Vancouver. I felt the strong, particular smell before even paying attention to my surroundings. It reminded me of the odours you’d find in a rural community far far from modern civilisation.
The aroma was that of dirt and nature after a rainy day, with a little hint of salt in the background. It would have been great if the smell of stinking horse shite hadn’t engulfed it.
The more I looked around, the more I realised that this wasn’t even Canada. It appeared to be an old mediaeval town with no contemporary facilities. The dwellings were primarily wood with thatched roofs; only a few, especially the larger ones, had stone walls with visible timber reinforcing.
And the people had strong facial features prominent in the centre of Europe?
What’s the matter with them? Did I just wake up right in the middle of Germany?
Also, why are some of them brandishing weapons?! Is that a fucking SWORD?? And this guy right here is dressed entirely in ARMOUR?
Is this one of those in-person roleplaying events?
Maybe it’s one of those lucid dreams I read about on the internet? But I can easily count my fingers, and my entire body still aches like a man in his 90s. Man, I need to work out more, but leaving that aside, it can’t be a dream. I’m sure I’d know... right? And who was that voice from before again?
As I sat there in the centre of a dirt road, the crowd grew larger, and their chattering became louder with it.
I haven’t seen any guards or anything, so for now, I’m fine.
I was completely lost in thought in this situation, and I had neglected to do the most important thing.
“H-hello? Does anyone speak English here?”
For a little while, the crowd became silent and just gave me puzzled looks.
Well~ this got real awkward real quick. I despise being forced into social situations. This is far too much for someone whose most extensive discussion in recent years has been buying groceries at the checkout.
Why are all these people here? It looks like it’s about 10 am, so what the hell are they all doing here?? Are they all unemployed or something? Please just fuck off… There must be something more exciting to do than gaze at me…
The throng had become much louder, and they began pointing and speaking among themselves as if they were all bullying me. I was on the verge of tears.
“Yo, are you alright?”
Huh~ what’s that? Someone understands me.