Laying on a hay bed, chest first staring outside the window, I could only see the mountain chain’s snowy peaks. My vision was only slightly covered by a few of the pine trees. We must have been in the middle of the forest, so someone has to have been chopping down the trees around this house. This fantastic picturesque moment, accompanied by the musky, fresh smell of nature coming from the window, soothed my soul, if just for a moment.

I was not used to this. Coming from a big city back in my world, it wasn’t something I’d get to experience often, and back in Ayla, it was engulfed by the usual bad smells you’d expect in a place like that, especially the faeces.

However, this does remind me of a place I had explored in the black forest in Germany when we went on vacation there as a kid, I didn’t have many happy memories from when I was young, but it was one of my happy core memories.

Wait, is my memory coming back slowly? Until yesterday I couldn’t remember almost anything, but now I remember childhood memories?

The whistles of the birds, the buzzing of the bugs and the light wind, along with my drowsiness, had calmed my mind for a bit and allowed me to meditate on my situation.

Why have I been acting this way since I’ve been here? Generally, I would have never been this brave and outspoken in social situations in my past world, but what suddenly changed within me then?

Am I really just a clown that thought everything changed since something unreal happened to me, and I was in an isekai situation? Did I think I was some protagonist of some sort?

Is this who I really am? Was the shyness and anxiety I felt before only caused by the environment around me by modern society, or is this just a persona I’m creating for myself to hide my insecurities?

Well, it’s whatever now, maybe in time, I’ll find out, who knows.

Those happy childhood memories kept repeating in my head like a broken record. I did cherish them, but I would rather not remember them. I’ve always disliked thinking about the past since it only put into perspective the difference from the present, and no matter how happy they might have been, it left me with a strong sense of melancholy by the end.

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That feeling of being a failure, not wanting to let anyone in my life down at the cost of slowly making my own life worse, I hated it.

Everyone always had such high expectations for me as a kid, saying I was gifted since I was performing well academically. It only ended up putting more and more pressure on me until the point where I couldn’t keep up with their demands. It sent me into such a depressive state I didn’t even want to leave the house anymore.

Failure after failure kept accumulating as life passed me by, and just as quickly as everyone thought I was gifted and had a great future ahead, all their faces turned into judgy and pitiful looks. I didn’t want none of their pity. I just wanted to be left alone.

It’s useless to think about this now. I need to focus on something else before I start crying and self-pitying myself.

Just as I tried to distract myself, a furry friend climbed into my room through the window and started staring at me. It was like a light blue ferret with purple tiger prints and four furred wings on his back.

I wonder how he flies with furred wings? But I guess this world does have magic, so I shouldn’t apply Earth’s logic to it.

He had begun to approach me and stand by my side.

Is he hungry? Maybe looking for food, what does he even eat? I guess that guy did leave me some fish and a salad. I’ll just give him my salad. Not that hungry anyway. It seems about time to eat too.

Where did he go in such a rush again? Also, this time I’ll make sure to remember to ask for a name. I can’t just call him “he”.

We quickly finished our dinner, and the ferret decided to stay here since it was slowly getting darker out there.

I guess I have a new buddy for the night. I’ll just call him… hmmm Enfield, like those chimaeras from… I think it was Irish mythology?

“What do you think, Enfield? Do you like your new name?”

Enfield just looked at me and purred while I was petting him.

That’s not the sound I expected him to make, but sure.

Right after I heard the sound of a door opening, he must have been back. This time, I’ll ask for his name and how to take a bath here. I must reek right now.