SO MUCH GOLD EVERYWHERE! ISN’T THIS SUPPOSED TO BE GOD’S HOUSE??
Maybe… I might not need to be an adventurer after all if I “borrow” some...
Although, they are likely to have some safety mechanisms here, considering they have magic, let’s not try my luck today.
“Are all churches always like this…?”
“Oh no, absolutely not. Ayla is not a very rich town, so their church is underwhelming, let’s say…
Don’t let it bother you,” he said quietly.
WHAT… what are the “normal” churches like?
“Blessed be thee. How may a lowly servant of Marduk help you today, kind sirs?”
Suddenly, a deep voice appeared behind us.
Oh. That’s not what I was expecting.
A man, hardly more than 150 cm tall, had appeared out of nowhere behind us.
Where was he even hiding? Does this man just stand behind the church’s gates to jump scare us, brave adventurers?
Is this something priests do for the cool factor, or did we meet a weirdo?
“Have a blessed day, Father Antonio.
We’re here because we require your services. My friend here, Clay, needs his magic affinities to be read.”
“Oh wonderful, a new adventurer, eh? Follow me into the confessional, but first, do you have the,” he said, making a gesture representing money.
Do we have to pay? I assumed churches would do this for free, but all this gold won’t pay for itself.
“Of course, priest, about 100 aurei should suffice?”
“500.”
“500?? that’s just a ripoff, father, please. How about 125?”
“400.”
“150.”
THIS SCUMBAG WAS NO PRIEST. What is wrong with him?
This fucking scammer is ripping us off
Can he stop trying to bargain with us?
“300, and I’ll give you a free absorption for any sin.”
This can’t be legal. Certainly, the pope of this religion wouldn’t allow this, right...?
Stolen from its original source, this story is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.
“Father, please, all we have is 250 aurei.”
“Fine, 250 it is then.”
“Thank you, son. May Marduk’s blessings be upon you.”
Antonio couldn’t stop grinning from ear to ear as Leif handed him the gold.
Dick.
“Follow me then, son.”
—In the confessional
“Marduk, First of the gods, Liberator of humanity, Slayer of the Primordial Devils, All-seeing and knowing, Slaughter of Absolute Dragons….”
Is this whole drill really needed when casting magic? He seems like a humble god, at least.
“Shine thy light upon your lowly servant, guide us through the fog of ignorance, and allow us to tap into thine infinite wisdom and reveal this man’s power.”
Oh finally.
“May your kingdom come once more, forgive us for our carnal transgressions-”
I spoke too soon… CARNAL WHAT?? I DID NOTHING.
“Amen.”
WHY WOULD YOU END IT ON THAT?
“Oh…”
“What’s the matter with your abrupt tone, priest?? Why do you sound so disappointed?”
“Well… You see…”
I don’t like the sound of this.
“You don’t have any affinities that I can detect. No powers whatsoever.”
“But it does mean I can still learn it… Right?”
“Well, of course, but it’s gonna be hard for you. Maybe being a sorcerer isn’t your call. You can always just be a swordsman.”
“Oh. Do we get the aurei back at least?”
“Absolutely not.”
“YOU DIDN’T EVEN CONSIDER IT.”
“No can do, plus all this money will go to helping kids in need.”
I SAW THE ORPHANAGE BEFORE. NONE OF THE GOLD IN THIS CHURCH IS GOING THERE. WHY DOES HE KEEP LYING.
Well, this was a waste of time. At least I didn’t expect anything special.
“Don’t look so bummed out. It’s not all over. Marduk can only see magic aligned with him. You might still have other types that I cannot detect.”
All-seeing my ass. And we lost all our money, too, such a shit start of the day so far.
Leif had been waiting at the entrance of the church. He appeared to be overjoyed.
I felt even worse at the prospect of breaking the news to him and ruining his day.
“HOW DID IT GO, CLAY? WHAT’S YOUR SPECIALITY THEN?”
“Well… nothing. Apparently, I’m useless on all fronts, magic wise. I’m really sorry for wasting your money like this.”
“Awww, shucks. FUHAHAHA, You can aid our party even if you’re not a competent sorcerer.
Let me tell you something. Let’s go to the guild right now and figure out what we will do there.”
“Okay, thank you, but you really don’t need to anymore. I doubt I could do anything for your party. I’ve already bothered you too much.”
“Don’t say things like that. Trust me, it’ll all be great. Let’s go to the guild right now. It’s not a long way.”
“If you’re really sure, let’s give it a shot.”
We were on our way out of the church.
*Cough cough*
Behind us, the priest was shaking a box full of coins.
DOES HE REALLY WANT MORE MONEY FROM US? WE JUST SPENT ALL OF OUR MONEY, AND HE’S SHAMELESSLY ASKING FOR MORE?
“The kids are really sick and could use any help.”
“Leif, just ignore him and walk away,” I whispered.