Hello, and welcome to Fish Television’s(FTV’s) Reefs. Where I, Beatrix, your lovely fish host, will guide you through a private tour of the hottest property in all of the sea.

Now first things first, let’s take a look at the lawn, or the coral, right outside this magnificent reef. Look at how vibrant, how colorful it is. And let’s not get started on how good they are at eating tiny plankton or other debris—

Yeah, Coral are actually animals, not plants. Big surprise when I saw one jutting out their tendrils to catch some little buggers and then pulled them in to eat them.

—making sure that this reef stays nice and clear. Truly, you won’t find better kept and more useful coral than the one right here.

But enough about scary not-plants, let’s go in between these two corals and into this nice little crevice where we can get inside this much talked about luxury abode.

And voila! Now if you just look around—

…

……

Out!

Outoutoutoutoutoutoutout!

GET OUT AND STAY OUT!

Sorry about those fish there, there’s a bit of squatting problem in this part of the sea. Honestly, leave the entrance to your home uncovered for five minutes and a bunch of fish suddenly think they found the perfect place to throw a party. I swear, there’s no respect left in fish society these days.

And don’t even get me started on all the predators roaming the seas.

Anyway, let's take a look at the inside of this home now that it’s empty. First things first, the entrance. Despite the little intruders that got inside, the ‘door’ to this place is actually small enough where those pesky predators can’t sneak in.

Talk about security!

And as for the interior, it is wonderfully smooth, not at all jagged like some of the other homes where a fish can cut themselves if they swim too close.

Talk about safety!

Ah, could you please ignore the scar on my right side. Thank you.

Also unlike other fish homes, this one is completely devoid of any stray seaweed or other trash that can quickly pile up in a while. It is truly the cleanest place a fish can ask for.

Talk about comfort!

And last but certainly not least, there is an incredible, absolutely breathtaking rock collection on display. Where only the finest and most unique rocks are gathered for the hosts viewing pleasure.

Talk about entertainment!

And to whom does this incredible abode belong to? Why it belongs to… *drum roll*

Me!

Surprised? Of course you’re not.

Yeah it’s not much in all honesty. But it really is a very nice place, and probably as good as a little fish like me can expect. The only real problem is that because of how well covered it is, light doesn’t really get all that in even during the day, so it can look a bit creepy at times.

But seriously. In a neighborhood as crime ridden as this one, having a proper place to hide in and relax makes a world of a difference.

The story has been illicitly taken; should you find it on Amazon, report the infringement.

And why is there so much crime here? Well it’s because of the kinds of fish that live here.

Now, if this reef only had fish that ate coral and small crustaceans(like yours truly), then there wouldn’t be much of a problem. But we do have a problem, because we have fish that eat the fish that eat coral and small crustaceans in this town. And that’s without talking about the fish that eat the fish that eat the fish that eat coral and small crustaceans. And don’t even let me get started on the fish that—

You get the point.

There’s a lot of fish eating fish going on in this part of the sea. And when you’re sitting snugly at the bottom of the fish-eating pyramid, surviving and doing anything that increases your chance at survival becomes your main driving force. Which is why my little hold behind two corals is such a wonderful place.

So yeah, life as a fish hasn’t exactly been the easiest thing in the world. But I still prefer it a million times more to being stuck as a worm or a small cell. And no matter how scary the other fish can be, there still is something mesmerizing at watching all of them live their lives in this incredible natural wonder. So I have no regrets about being a fish.

Even if I do miss the Beatrix army a whole lot.

And as for the whole evolution thing…it’s taking its time. In fact, I’m not even halfway there despite this being my eight day as a fish.

Oh yeah, after my last ‘evolution’ I now have a pretty good idea of how far I am from being able to ‘evolve’ again. Now, I don’t know if that has something to do with me being a more advanced animal with better senses or an actual stomach. Or if my power is just revealing more of itself as I continue to evolve. Whatever it is, hopefully it continues to give me more information that I can work with. So that I can have a better idea of what steps I should be taking. Honestly, even just having a good idea how far I am from evolving is a massive boost and gives me something to look forward to every day. Although at the same time it is a bit worrying how long getting to the next step is proving to be..

While I may not have had the ability to track days as a cell, I’m positive that I spent less time as one of those than I did as a worm. And I know how many days I spent as a worm thanks to my sensitivity to the change in light, which was four days by the way. So for me to not even halfway there after day eight means that there’s a chance that the amount of ‘xp’ I need for the next evolutionary level is growing at a logarithmic scale.

Which would be terrifying.

Now, while I did learn my lesson and I’m not taking unnecessary risks just to reach the next evolutionary point quicker, that doesn’t mean that I want to spend months, potentially years, as some sort of sea animal. I still want to regain my thumbs and have a shot at taking over the world after all. And I can’t do that if I end up dying from old age as a fish.

That’s right, don’t think I’ve given up on either dream. I may be a changed fish, but that only goes as far as appreciating life. Inside, I’m still the same idiot with ambitions too big for her own fins to hold.

And while we’re on the topic of evolutionary problems, let me tell you about how much harder it is to get a sample of an animal bigger than you when you’re a fish than when you’re a little cell or worm.

Back then, all I had to do was scavenge whatever fell to the ocean floor. Of course, it’s not that I can’t do that anymore, it’s just that when you get bigger it becomes a lot harder to stay hidden from the eyes of potential predators. So the opportunity to snack on some leftovers has become a lot harder than before.

And at this moment, I still don’t know if I have a choice in what I evolve into, or if there’s a particular step I need to take next. So until my powers decide to help me out and tell me such information, I need to gather as many samples as possible.

Luckily, there is one place in this sea where I can pretty reliably get some samples of other fish and not immediately end up as food. And that’s ‘the rock’.

And no, I’m not talking about Dwayne Johson. I mean an actual massive rock jutting out of the ground.

It is by far the most popular place for fish to gather around here thanks to all the easy to reach coral on it.

As well as the easy to prey on fish.

But thanks to that, there’s a good community of fish that just hang below the rock, hidden around the coral as they wait for a chance to take a bite of some scraps that fall off. Which makes it my best chance for me to get some scraps without being immediately munched on. From what I’ve seen, those fish aren’t too keen on attacking one another. And thanks to their numbers, if a bigger fish hoping to get an easy snack does show up, you’re a lot less likely to be the one that ends up on the proverbial plate.

So that’s my plan for when it’s time to evolve. Once I have the proper energy to perform my evolution, I’ll hang around the rock and steal the fish scraps under there until I evolve.

Or maybe I’ll find some caviar one of these days and that’ll work too.

Actually, will I lay eggs one of these days? Will I become a mommy to a bunch of fish? Hopefully not. I don’t think I could handle the responsibility of having to look after so many fish. Or watch them get eaten…

Let’s not think about it.

Anyway, hopefully with this next evolution, I’ll discover once and for all if I can evolve into whatever I want to or not.

But for now, I’m still the same fish as I was. And it looks like it’ll stay that way for the foreseeable future. So until something else happens, or I finally find a friend to actually talk to. I once again, bid you, adieu.