There are two issues that need to be addressed. Apologies for posting this as a "chapter" in the book, but there doesn't seem to be any other way for me to do this.
The first issue:
Yesterday, someone had the audacity to tell me how to write a story that I am writing for my own enjoyment, and possibly the enjoyment of others.
The only people who have any right to dictate to others what to do in their creative endeavours are those who have commissioned them to do work for them. The commenter in question did not commission me to do any work, and this is not a commissioned work for anyone else.
Comment all you wish on whether you like or dislike anything about my work, but once I have provided my response, it's best to leave the issue alone, lest you come across as an entitled jerk who thinks they have any right to determine the course of an author's work for them.
Stating that you are going to subsequently spitefully read and then mark-down any issues you wish on the basis that the author does not blithely follow your "suggestions" is vindictive crap, and subsequently retracting said statements later does not change this fact.
The second issue:
The second issue is in leaving reviews based on conclusions that are erroneous, and have only been reached by not reading the work fully.
I'll now proceed to respond to the appropriate review, since the reviewer in question left no means for me to respond in the appropriate forum.
> Good: Interesting ideas and good syntax.
I appreciate this. It goes against another's comments that the syntax I used in places was bad, and shows that people are individuals who all have differing opinions. Now on to the bad...
> Bad : The story make absolutely no sense. No clear goal for the protagonist who found himself in a post apocalyptique world. The author must have been inspired by fallout but it's not a good point. Fallout is a game where all actions start from the protagonist. So we have a story where the motor of the action is the MC, but he has no objectives and no personnality. See the problem...
Not really, no, for the following reasons:
1. The protagonist does have a clear goal: Find out what's happening. The fact that this goal is fluid and adapts to his individual circumstances does not change the fact that he nonetheless is intent on achieving it.
2. I've never played fallout, and I have no interest in it whatsoever, so I'm not sure where this assumption came from.
Ensure your favorite authors get the support they deserve. Read this novel on the original website.
3. There are other people in this universe. If all the reviewer is getting is "all actions start from the protagonist", then I doubt they've read any further than Chapter 7, where the "protagonist" is captured by forces that were looking for him. For one thing, Chapter 8 introduces the first in a series of people who are also from the old world, and provide some assistance along the way, negating the "people killing each other for powers" charge that I'll address later in the review I'm responding to.
Once Rick leaves the United Kingdom, he enters a world which is markedly different, and far more civilised.
4. To say that he has "no personnality[sic]" is inaccurate. He does have a personality. If you'd read further than Chapter 5, you'd start to see it becoming more clear.
And I can safely assert the above despite the review appearing as having come from Chapter 13, because it wouldn't be the first time a reader has skimmed the text of a book.
Now let's tackle the ideas, and why I am comfortable in assuming they are from someone who only read the initial chapters of the book:
> Ideas :
>
> 1-Add a family member to the MC (or an attachement to twinkies 😅). A personnality is based around love, habits or needs.
Chapter 10 introduces a significant character that becomes an integral part of Rick's journey. Had you read that far (and properly read that far), you'd know this. Additionally, there is discussion of family members for Rick, who he misses and wishes were present, as discussed in various chapters starting from 12 onwards.
Rick has made several friends over the course of the story, the more meaningful ones having had their seeds planted in Chapters 10 and 11. These people are also integral to his journey, and appear several times throughout the story (and the series of future books I plan to write).
Finally, although the chapter in question is not due for release until sometime next week, there is one other significantly important person in Rick's life who will make an appearance.
Had the reviewer in question actually read that far, they would have picked up on this.
> 2-Add a goal from the pre-apocalypse for the MC to achieve.
Other than trying to find out what happened, maybe reconnect with family and friends, and survive the world, what else can Rick do? He's not Superman, and he has to find out the kind of world he lives in before he can really make his place in it. I'm not writing it like it's a computer game here, where the MC has capabilities that let him shape the surrounding landscape. He has to exist in a world where there are still over ten million people inhabiting it.
Having said all the above, he makes his way to the head office of the company that trialled his nanocloud in the first place, and had the reviewer bothered to read properly past Chapter 6, this would have become clear as Rick's "pre-apocalypse" goal.
> 3-A world with people is a world with conflicts. 'Strong' people want power, love, glory. 'Weak' people want security and stability. Do not simplify humanity to people killing each other for powers !
I'm not. Had the reviewer in question read more fully past Rick's departure from England, he might have picked up on this. In fact, had the reviewer in question read more comprehensively past Chapter 6, there were some earlier clues that Rick has hopes that there is more to life than what he was seeing at that moment.
There is an overarching theme here, and an overarching villain in the story, but I'm not under any obligation to make all of these facts clear in the very first chapter of the book.
I would have preferred not to do this, but every author has a right to respond to any criticisms of their own work, whether valid or otherwise, and so I'm taking that opportunity here.
Normal scheduled posts will resume as of Monday.
Thanks.