Eveline's memories - Part 4

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The next morning, I snuck out of the hotel early, so I could sneak off and make a phone call. I needed to deal with what had happened last night, and after thinking about it with very little sleep, I decided I needed to distance myself from Rick. The only way to do that, was to find a way to get him to show me he couldn't be trusted any longer.

The only way to achieve that end, was to force the issue; I knew now he would never go out looking for an opportunity to do it himself.

So, I spent almost an hour, making phone calls to different hotels in Mary's Harbour, knowing that was our next stop, and looking for anyone that might offer complimentary services that would possibly include what I had in mind. It wasn't easy, and it took a lot of searching, but I eventually found a few human women in hotels that might be interested. I chose one, and I offered her some favourable terms with my family's foundation.

I would have to deal with my father's displeasure later, although knowing I would be forced to do so made me quail slightly.

Still, the call had been made, and I felt somewhat relieved now that I had done it.

My perspective changed once again, and now we were on the ship.

I looked over at the surf as we sailed through the ocean from Iceland. The surf that was churned up by our passage was calming for me, and it helped me to stop thinking about everything that had happened. My call to Canada before setting off had set in motion events that I now had no opportunity to call off while on the ocean, and likely no chance to stop once we made land-fall. For better or worse, I was committed to this course of action, and while I felt some apprehension at what this could mean for Rick and I going forward, it felt like I was taking some control back over myself.

But I still felt conflicted, and that conflict was painful to think about. My claws had dug deep into my palms, and while the physical pain had been distracting, it did little to soothe my aching heart.

This, though? Watching the surf? It was a distraction which worked for me.

As the wind changed, I caught a powerful scent of pheromones, and I recognised them immediately. I turned to face him, and he seemed as though he expected me to start a fight.

"You going to just stand there looking at my arse all day, or will you join me?" I quipped, suspecting that he got a good look already, resisting the temptation to tease him with a sway of my hips. After a moment, he stood next to me.

"How are you?" He asked.

"Fine," I replied automatically while continuing to look at the ocean surf.

"You know me better than that, Ev. I'm not aksing to be polite."

I should have known, I realised. Rick wasn't one to ask inane questions like that. If he asked how someone felt, it was because he was interested. "I'm fine, Rick," I told him again with a sigh, as I pushed myself back from the railing, feeling a little depressed, still. "What you said to me last night got me thinking. There are things that I haven't told you, and they would explain a lot of what I've been doing." I wished I was ready to tell him about my experiences, but I didn't know if I was ready. "Truth is, I don't know if I'll ever tell you why, but I've been doing what I can to distance myself from you for... Reasons I don't know I can trust you with yet."

To my astonishment, he didn't seem surprised, and he then replied. "Allow me. You fear imprinting, and you fear the consequences of handing that level of control over to someone else."

Rick had just cut straight through to the core of the matter, seeing right through the whole façade I'd been putting up the whole time. In doing so, he had just caused me to feel a sharp pain through my very core, and I felt like I might collapse in shock. Combined with the realisation that my efforts to distance myself from him might now be for naught, I felt anger and distress combine within my depths. Defensively, I struck back, winding myself up to give what would have been a lengthy tirade about violation of my personal boundaries. "How fucking dare-"

To my astonishment and ire, he cut me off, his face a mask of anger. "Oh no, you don't get to be angry at me for that. You don't EVER get to be angry at me for that. Never. You don't have the right."

The scream I let loose tore my throat again, as I rejected his words. "I DON'T HAVE THE RIGHT?!"

"NO!" He roared right back at me, causing me to flinch, and leaving me stunned speechless long enough for him to launch into a rant. "Your parents are worried about you, as are your friends, and from what I'm seeing, they have every fucking right to be. You've shown me almost nothing other than hostility from the beginning, outright contempt at times, disdain at others, and the few occasions where we have been getting along, you seem to want to find a way to sabotage our forward progress. When we parted ways at Rheda-Wiedenbrück, I called your father to speak about what happened. He told me a few things, enough that I know what is really bothering you. And he's worried. So's your mother. So's Amélie, and all of your friends back home."

The knowledge that he had learned of my greatest fear, combined with the knowledge that I had done something terrible that would soon bite me in the arse, all caused me to lash out. "Still, it's not your fucking business-"

"No, it's not, but I've been involved anyway," I flinched again as he snapped. "And if you want to know why they told me, then think about it. They can't be here. They're thousands of miles away. I'm here. I can talk to you, even though you think I'm not worth shit."

I wasn't even close to having the patience to deal with this bullshit again. If I didn't think he was worth anything, I wouldn't be feeling the way I was at the moment, and I hissed back. "Don't start that again-" but once again, he cut me off.

I fucking hated it when he did that.

"I don't want to hear it," his voice radiated fury, and I hated it. "Your actions speak very clearly to me. If you thought I was worthy of your respect, you wouldn't be getting angry at me for knowing something about you that concerns people who love you, for fuck sake, Ev. They're worried! They..."

He then reached out all of a sudden and grabbed my hand. Instinctively, I fought against his grip, and while I was faster and had a lot of strength, he was stronger physically, and he soon had my grip loosened and opened my hands.

The shock and anxiety that radiated off of him was not faked. He gasped, staggering back. "Holy fucking hell, Ev! What are you doing to yourself?!"

A toxic combination of fear and anger swirled in my mind, and I hissed back. "Don't pretend like you care."

It didn't work on him any longer, and he retorted sharply, glaring at me as he did.

"I'm not pretending! I've been trying to be your friend, and yet all you keep doing is pushing me away. No matter how hard I try, no matter what effort I put into it with you, it'll never be good enough."

"Just leave me alone!" I hissed without even a second's consideration.

To my immense shock, he turned on his heel and walked off.

Oh shit! I didn't really mean it! At that moment, I wanted to plead with him to come back, but I was still too prideful, so it ended up coming out as a demand. "Where are you going?"

Without even so much as slowing down, he barked over his shoulder "I thought you wanted me to leave you alone?"

A few minutes later, I was standing at his door, having knocked, and having been shocked and startled by the door slamming against he bulkhead when he opened it forcefully.

"I'm not in the mood for arguments or games-" Rick told me in exasperation, but I cut him off.

"Neither am I," I said quietly. This time, I wanted to just see him.

I knew that in a few days, we might not even be talking when he found out what I'd done, and I couldn't confess, because a part of me wanted to see it through, so I was determined to at least spend as much time as possible trying to put things right in other ways...

By not being difficult.

"Then why are you here?" Rick pointedly asked me. "If you're not in the mood for arguments or games or pointless conflicts and petty bickering, then why are you standing at my door right now?"

It did seem to be all we did these days, I had to admit. I guessed I couldn't blame him for expecting yet another dispute. The fact that it had reached this point was disheartening, and I felt my throat grow tight. "Please just let me in," I pleaded with him, unable to face him directly. "I don't want to stand outside where people are likely to see us."

The few moments he just stood in the door-way and stared at me with an unreadable expression on his face were painful, but he finally relented and invited me inside. "Mind if I lie down?" He asked, despite the fact that this was his cabin. "I'm a little tired and don't want to stand on my feet. Plus there's not a lot of room in here."

I nodded, unsure of my place, and still feeling like I didn't belong here.

He made himself comfortable, his still-healing body showing some scar tissue around his well-defined core muscle group. "If you want, you can sit."

I desperately wanted to curl up next to him and bury my face in his chest, for many reasons; not least of which because he was warm, he was vibrant, and he was kind to me when I needed it, but I held back. I was still debating whether I should ask, but I didn't want to leave it unsaid. Normally, I could ask my parents or Amélie for their company if I felt I needed a safe place to stay, but like Rick reminded me earlier, he was the only one nearby, and I did trust him to some extent.

Fuck, I wailed in my own mind. It was time to swallow my pride. "I know this is weird, but can I stay here tonight?" I asked.

"Why?" Rick asked, his tone betraying his surprise.

Not only did my throat still feel tight, but now my eyes burned, watering profusely. "I just don't want to be alone."

The truth was, a major part of me really hated being alone when I felt like this, while another part of me was worried about getting too close to him given the circumstances that I had set into motion. "If you don't mind that I'm going to sleep soon," Rick told me, and I immediately felt relief. "I'm somewhat exhausted."

I found myself staring back at my hands as I nodded to Rick. He adjusted himself on his bed as I continued to stare blankly at them, not knowing what to say or what to think. Then, I realised I really preferred to lie back. Rick was a good man, he deserved better than what I was giving him, and while I was wrapped up in my fear, I still wanted to be close to him.

Almost impulsively, I kicked my legs up and reclined on the bed, laying next to him, facing the opposite wall, adjusting my hair to make it more comfortable. I tried to slow my breathing, get my fear under control.

"Ev," Rick spoke gently past my ear, and it tickled, flicking in response.

"Yeah?" I asked him quietly.

"Please don't get angry," he said hesitantly, and it made me want to cry. "I've been worried about you since the phone call I had with Laurent."

Turning to him with a slight frisson of fear, I asked "What do you mean?"

"Let me try to explain," he took a breath. "I know you fear the consequences of imprinting on the wrong people." I started to feel anger building up in me at his words, feeling that he was becoming a bit too presumptuous to assert he knew how I really felt, but he continued. "I mean, I'd have to be an idiot not to see the obvious there."

I was relieved that I had held my tongue. "I suppose," I admitted. "A lot of what's happened in my recent past ties in with what happened early on in my life. I-" I found it difficult to continue, as I was reminded of the awful behaviour I was subjected to in the breeding facility. It was taking everything I had not to either lash out in anger, close myself off in self-defence, or lose myself in my pain. "Don't take this the wrong way, but I don't know if I'm ready to share it all with you yet."

"Of course," Rick spoke softly, shaking his head. "I've yet to fully earn your trust."

Perversely, his words irritated me, but I kept that to myself. "Allowing myself to trust anyone is hard, Rick," I said, my voice shaky. "It's not all about whether you deserve to be trusted."

The problem was that I was already dangerously close to admitting to myself, and to him, that I had already reached that point, and given the stupidity that I had committed back in Reykjavik, I knew I was only asking for trouble, but Rick didn't help matters when he continued speaking.

"I know there are occasions where I said some unbelievably stupid things," he said to me, his eyes searching my face, and I saw not lust, not lasciviousness, just genuine affection and empathy. It broke my walls down more effectively than anything else ever could. "And I wish I knew not to say what I did in Dortmund that night-"

Those words broke me utterly, and I lost control as I let out a wail, sobbing and hissing uncontrollably as all of my anxiety and heartache came flooding out, and I found myself curling up as I heard Rick's voice, anxious and fearful. "No, Ev, I'm sorry!"

His obvious concern for me just made me feel even worse, and I had nothing left to offer up in resistance, so I let myself go, my body reacting strongly to my pain, crying myself out until I was utterly exhausted. I didn't even resist when Rick cradled me in his arms, instead I allowed myself to be comforted, feeling even worse when I realised I would never be able to do this with him again once he found out what I had done.

Realisation caused me to wail harder, the cries I let out were so tortured, I thought they would never cease, yet Rick continued to provide me nothing but his comforting embrace, saying nothing, just stroking my hair and holding me close while I exhausted myself.

Eventually, I had calmed down enough that I could speak, even as I continued to sniffle, my eyes leaking profusely. "I'm sorry," I told him, my voice rough.

"Don't be," his own voice was like Egyptian cotton against my skin. "I can't begin to imagine what you've been feeling."

"I can't promise I'll be any different tomorrow, Rick," I told him, wishing with every fibre of my being, that I could just be myself with him instead. "I've lived with this for a lifetime, and there are very few I trust."

"I hope one day, I can earn that trust," he told me, reminding me again that he had misread my hesitation. It wasn't him that concerned me. Now, the problem was entirely me. "Even if it takes me a long time."

I despaired at his words, even though I was now too exhausted to cry any longer. Wishing I could give him some assurance on the matter, I realised I couldn't, for too many reasons, the biggest one being what he would think of me when he found out what I did.

I was too afraid to tell him, even though every last part of me screamed that he had a right to hear it from me, and not find out by letting it continue.

Maybe I was too much of a coward.

"I think I need some sleep now," I told him, not ready to face that question today. "I'm feeling tired."

Rick adjusted himself, squeezing his body as tightly against the bulkhead as possible while still remaining flat. The gesture touched me deeply, and I realised that the way I was changing was more profound than I'd predicted. "Good night, Ev," he said in an almost-whisper.

Before I even thought that it might be a bad idea, I reached forward and kissed his cheek, letting out a sigh that expressed my longing and contentment. "Good night, Rick," I said, pulling back slightly, and deciding to snuggle into his side, resting my arm on his chest. A deep breath, and I was out, but not before I could detect the faint hint of his pheromones and a hint of adrenaline that was probably his nerves.

My last conscious feeling was amusement at his predicament.

My perspective changed again, as I experienced a hint of amusement, unsure who it really belonged to.

I stood outside the door to the corridor leading to Rick's temporary cabin on the ship the morning we were to land in Canada. Some of the freighter crew had curious looks on their faces as they watched, and I gave them my usual disdainful attitude and mannerisms. Thankfully, they didn't speak to me or try to move me on, so I still managed to feel pretty relaxed. I listened carefully, and then I heard footsteps on the interior grating of the ship's decking. Rick's unique musky scent soon followed, and I knew he was about to step through, so I hid.

He stepped through after opening the door.

"What are you doing?" I said in a commanding voice, trying very hard not to giggle.

It worked. Rick jumped in shock. "Fuck me, Ev," he exclaimed, a hand to his chest.

"I already get seasick as it is," I quipped, feeling light, my amusement almost allowing a smile to appear. "And we have to get some provisions before we set off west," I reminded him.

This book's true home is on another platform. Check it out there for the real experience.

"I didn't mean it literally," Rick sighed. "Are you trying to give me a heart attack?"

I blew a raspberry at him. "Stop it already," I said, trying not to grin like an idiot. "You've the body of a twenty-five-year-old, and a nanocloud that keeps you in tip top condition." I wanted to get a look at the ocean surf again, so I turned to walk toward the railings. "Heart attack!" I muttered, as I used my tail to tap him gently in the jaw, not letting him see my grin.

"You little-" Rick growled, and I quickly withdrew my tail so he didn't have a chance to grab it.

Nice try!

My perspective shifted once again, and this time, I felt like I was going to vomit from a toxic combination of fear and loss.

I was desperate, I was feeling sick to my stomach. Before making a last-ditch effort to put a stop to what I'd set in motion, I'd taken off as soon as we landed, on the pretext that I needed to scout the local wildlife and woodland.

I'd felt the instinctive pull to do exactly that, but the need to try to put a stop to what I'd started was far more pressing, so instead of going out to stalk prey, I found myself frantically looking for a phone to use. The first time I tried, the contact I'd used here in Mary's Harbour was not picking up. It sent me into something of a tailspin, as I realised I had no other way to contact her.

After desperately searching for the next fifteen or so minutes, I realised I was left with no choice but to give up looking for her in the town itself, especially as I had no idea who she was or what she looked like; my father had never taken me anywhere outside of the European mainland, and I'd never met any of our contacts elsewhere in the world.

That left me rushing back to the only publicly-accessible landline in the town I was aware of, but when I got there, Rick was using it, and he was apparently talking with my parents about our next stop...

His next stop, once he found out what I'd done, I thought to myself, utterly bereft. I couldn't exactly wait for him to finish, because he would know I wasn't out hunting, and that would make him suspicious.

Quickly, I left, watching from across the street, doing my best to remain hidden until he returned to the hotel he had selected for our rooms. By the time I had access to the phone again, I tried once more to call my contact here in Mary's Harbour, utterly desperate to stop what I'd begun, losing hope every second. If I could stop this disaster from happening, I might have a chance to do the right thing. It would give us a chance to...

Despite the realisation that Rick was precisely the kind of man who would go out of his way to see to my own emotional well-being at the cost of his own, despite knowing that Rick was precisely the sort of man I would always have a turbulent, yet ultimately satisfying friendship, despite the fact that we were drawn to each other no longer causing me the fear that it once did, I still had a moment of panic at the idea of allowing myself to imprint against him, and that caused me to freeze for a moment.

That moment lasted long enough, though. Someone had started banging on the phone booth to get my attention, apparently impatient to use it themselves. It snapped me out of my panic, only to send me into a frenzy as I'd realised that some amount of time had passed, and Rick would either soon see this contact of mine, or might already have been confronted by her.

Now, I found myself standing at his door, having just knocked, and I realised that I was too late...

Far too late.

Rick slammed open the door to his hotel room, his expression one of barely-contained fury.

"Can we talk for a minute?" I asked, my anxiety hitting a peak, my heart racing. "It's urgent."

"Come on in, Eveline," he growled. "Let's all talk about this wonderful surprise you got for me, shall we?"

No, I started to say in my mind, over and over. Part of me, a very childish and defensive part, wanted to try and make this about Rick, make him go back on the defensive, accuse him of having this woman in his room so he could seduce her and have sex with her, like I had originally intended to happen.

That part of me was now drowned out by the part of me that desperately wanted- no, needed Rick's forgiveness for what I tried to do here today.

"What's going on?" I found myself asking in what sounded like a demand, though I hadn't intended it to be so harsh.

"Get your fucking arse in here, see for yourself!" he spoke in clipped tones, as he stood back so I could enter.

I was terrified, and my body wouldn't stop shaking as I entered the room. If it were the two of us alone, I might have already collapsed to my knees and accepted the fury he was exuding without comment, but someone else was here, and I had only ever spoken a few words to this woman. She was the reason I stayed on my feet and kept some semblance of composure, and the only reason for that was because I didn't know her well enough to trust that I could show my vulnerable side.

But my horror was too great, and I'm sure she would have been able to see my fears anyway.

"Who is this?" Rick demanded, clearly furious, and I could tell from his expression that he was pained by what I had done.

My heart shattered.

"I don't know-" what you've spoken about, is what I wanted to say, but Rick cut me off, probably expecting me to deny knowing anything about her.

"That's the last time you insult me," he said, voice low and harsh, before he turned to the woman in question. "You recognise her voice?" he asked her.

Her answering nod condemned me to whatever Rick decided would be my fate.

"Thank you. If you'll please leave us alone now, we need to have a discussion about this betrayal of my trust."

He was absolutely right, and I had no defence to these accusations; the most painful of admissions for me, especially because of my natural tendency to wall off everyone around me.

"Rick, please!" I hissed in fear.

"Did you hire her? To try and seduce me?"

"Rick-" I began, stretching my hand out to touch him.

"DID YOU?!" He roared, his face flushed red, as he thrust my hand away and distanced himself physically from me.

I could not think, could barely breathe, and I felt myself trembling. I stared at him, my eyes burning. "Yes," I finally admitted.

"This is the last fucking straw," he snapped at me. "No more mind games, no more fucking lies from you!"

My thoughts short-circuited in terror. "Rick, please!"

"Why would you do such a thing?" Rick demanded, his face contorted in an expression of anger and pain that broke my heart anew. "Why would you not only push me away like this, but hire a third party, then make her try to seduce me? So you could try to place blame on me for this? So you could give yourself an excuse to hate me and put distance between us?" His expression was now contorted in a rictus of pain and anger, his eyes rapidly filling with hot, angry tears. "You could have simply said that you needed some space. You could have said that you wanted to be alone. That this just wouldn't work out between us, whatever the fuck this was. In fact, you could have done anything to put the brakes on whatever might have once formed between us, but this?!" He wiped his face with angry motions, taking in a sharp breath. "Well don't fucking worry. You don't need a reason to put distance between us any more," his words were like a final condemnation, and I felt my world fall apart.

I had no idea why, how, or when, this man became so important in my life, but the fact that he was about to walk out of it, possibly forever? I couldn't take it.

"By tomorrow," Rick's words struck like blows to my face. "I intend to be at least a hundred klicks away from you."

I sagged in defeat. "I'm sorry-" i started to say, but he cut me off with the loudest shout I ever heard from any human.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP!" I flinched as he roared at me louder than I'd ever heard him shout. "Don't you ever fucking speak to me ever again! You... This is a betrayal. You betrayed my TRUST! You don't get to speak to me!"

As I watched him pick up his backpack and throw it about his shoulders in furious movements, I felt my throat tighten, and my body feel weak, but I tried to stop him from leaving in a last ditch attempt to try and salvage what was left. "Stop," I said, barely able to choke the word out.

"If you even think about getting in my way, I won't..." Rick ground out the words, clenched his fist, and then closed his eyes. After a second, he tried to speak again, and the calm tone he used was like the eye of the storm, at odds with the conflicting emotions that crossed his face. "Get out of my way, or I'll move you myself."

I couldn't move aside. Everything within me screamed to stay where I was.

But I also realised I couldn't stop him, even if I felt I had any right. In the end, I felt my legs weaken as I collapsed to the floor, and my breath hitched, as he stomped out of the door and out of my life.

My perspective changed once again, and some time must have passed.

I never expected to feel this sickening combination of embarrassment, loneliness, apprehension and heartbreak. I literally felt constantly ill. I could barely eat, I wasn't sleeping, and I simply was not holding it together any longer. It even became too much effort to affect disdain with people around me, so it became easier to hide myself away.

I'd followed Rick as far as Sept Iles, before it literally became a struggle for me to keep up with him. He was pushing himself as much as he possibly could, and much of that was no doubt due to fury. A few times, I managed to get close enough to him to pick up his scents, and I could smell the fury radiating off of him from hundreds of metres away.

I also watched as he rescued a young canine-hybrid, who would likely have been raped. My heart broke all over again, as I watched him rescue the girl, proud of him for standing up for the helpless, for putting his knife skills to such good use, and for the way he handled himself when the local enforcers arrived and tried to arrest all the beast folk.

Realising I was so wrong about him broke me all over again.

As I watched him interact with the girl and her father at the local law enforcer building, and saw the emotional impact this all had on him, my heart quailed, and I struggled to stifle a cry of anguish, knowing I had hurt this caring, brave, giving man, this human who defended hybrids like myself, that youngster and her father, even in the face of odds like an entire town facing him down.

I found myself standing in a phone booth, sagging, listening as my father told me that he had been disappointed in me for choosing to be so deceitful, when Rick had been so honourable. Explaining what I had done to him was the most painful experience of my life, because it had the intense combination of exposing me to my dad's displeasure, and reminded me all over again that I had failed both my parents and my man-

I gulped, realising that I felt possessive of him. Not on an intellectual level; I respected him and his ethics, and I would never want him to do anything he wasn't willing to do anyway.

My possessiveness was a visceral, instinctive feeling, and I suspected it was my feline influence. It was like I might already be imprinting on him despite my every last effort not to let such a thing happen to me.

"Eveline, my dear," my father said in a gentle tone. "You've made some serious errors in judgment recently, and it's clear I was wrong to send you out alone. Instead of protecting and ensuring the safety of your human companion, as I'd hoped you would, you've instead mismanaged the situation and allowed your personal fears to interfere with your mission."

Despite his gentle tone, the words were like daggers, and every one of them was a mortal wound to my psyche. If I thought a moment ago that I couldn't possibly feel any worse, I was wrong.

"Eveline," he finally said. "It's time to come home."

I felt a denial well up deep within. "I can't, not yet. Rick needs someone to watch over him-"

"Eveline," he said again, his voice more insistent. "Surely, you can do no more for him? From what you've told me, he is too angry to think straight about the situation, or you. He's pushing himself to his limits just to put as much distance between the two of you as he can. That's not someone who is ready to be reasoned with!"

I let out a choked gasp, as his words tore at me. "I can't," I said weakly. "I know it makes sense, dad. I know, but I can't leave yet!"

"I'll send a plane if you can stay there and meet them at the airport," father continued, as if I hadn't even spoken. "It's time. Come home."

My father was insistent, and I really didn't want to displease him any further by refusing, but as much as Rick hated me right now, I couldn't abandon him. "No, dad! I can't!"

"Young lady, you will get on the plane I send to you, and you will come home!" My father said, his tone now forceful. "I'm not asking."

The compulsion to obey his instructions was strong, and had been ever since I imprinted on him, but as much as I loved both my parents, I couldn't leave. There was no way.

I just couldn't do it.

"I can't. I'm sorry," I said, my voice breaking.

"Oh, Eveline," my father sighed.

"Please don't ask me again," I wept down the phone at him.

The silence was agony, and when my father eventually broke it, his voice sounded different. "I really am proud of you, my daughter."

I felt confusion as I registered his words. "What?"

He sounded delighted, and I couldn't imagine the reason why. "My dear, I've been hoping to make you realise this for years, but imprinting doesn't make you a slave!"

I took a deep breath, still feeling heart sick. but some small hope was creeping back into my soul, only to be replaced with so fierce a regret that I wanted to curl up and die. "I wish I realised this sooner!" I cried out in anguish, running a hand over my face. It came away soaked.

"Eveline, listen to me!" father's voice was strident, like a slap to the face. "If you're serious about this mission, if you really mean to watch over him and see to his safety in spite of the odds, if you really do mean to do this," he took a breath, and I could hear the emotion in his voice. "Then give this everything you have. Find a way to keep up. Do whatever you have to, to keep him in range. Don't push him. Don't make him face you if he's not ready, but you need to be patient. Wait until he is ready to face you again. Until then..." There was a very lengthy pause in his words. "Until then, work in the shadows, and keep him safe."

"I will," I said quietly. "I will, dad!" I repeated, more loudly.

"Good!" my father spoke quickly, as if he had to go do some other things now, which I realised might well be true. "And don't neglect yourself. If I know you like I do, I'll bet you've not eaten or slept properly since Mary's Harbour!"

I let out a sigh, knowing he was completely right about that. "I'm sorry, dad."

"I'm just worried about you," he said gently. "Take care of yourself, and check in with us when you get a chance."

"Thanks," I said, sniffing as I started to pull myself together. "I love you both."

"We love you, Eveline."

"Bye dad," I spoke softly. "See you soon."

I hung up the phone, and within a few moments, I was headed west, to catch up to Rick.

My perspective changed rapidly, and I found myself in a fierce, pitched battle with a wolf-hybrid.

I trailed a silver wolf when I had realised he was trailing Rick on his journey. The wolf was making solid progress, but he was well within Rick's own endurance and speed, and Rick had slackened his pace slightly as he closed in on his final destination, taking more frequent breaks and stopping to set up camp slightly earlier.

It gave me a chance to catch up and keep close enough to intervene when necessary, and this wolf now made it necessary for me to intervene as he closed the distance to Rick.

I stalked the wolf as I had done over the last few days, keeping as stealthy as I could, careful not to tip it off to my existence, let alone where I was. This allowed me to get close enough to launch a surprise attack, one that I took full advantage of.

I leapt into the air as quietly as I could, extending my claws fully, bracing for a foot-first attack that would have him planted into the ground before he could do anything. Reaching the apex of my jump, I curled up and rolled into a dive, extending fully to control my descent using my body to adjust my landing spot. I was nonetheless immensely surprised when the wolf remained oblivious to my attack as I landed feet-first on top of him.

Yelping in pain, he nonetheless struggled under my weight, blindly swiping his claws at me as I plunged my own into his neck, severing his spinal column with a precisely-aimed attack.

He'd never stood a chance.

This had been one of my easiest fights, despite the fact that I was weakened by malnutrition and exhaustion.

Once more, my perspective shifted into a pitched battle, this time with a human.

Not long after I left the wolf for dead, I picked up the scent of a human following Rick, his movements clearly suggesting a stealth tracking pattern. As before, I tracked him until I could be sure he intended to move in on Rick, then I struck.

Unlike last time, this human was highly aware of his surroundings, and had picked up my attack as I reached my apex. He had more than enough time to step aside from my descent, and as I landed, he pulled out a dagger and started to swipe at me.

This fight was much more difficult as a result, and as I jumped back to avoid his swipe, I rolled to the side as he quickly followed up with quick stabs and foot-work. I leapt up over his head, rolling as I landed, then twisted to face him as he swung his blade at my throat.

It was close enough that I felt it nick my skin, but it meant I could grab his wrist. I twisted it as hard as I could, only to feel the blast of electrical energy that blew me back and caused my nanocloud to cut out for a moment.

That had never happened to me before, but I had no time to worry about it as I leapt forward to retaliate, swiping at his blade arm as he flipped the blade in a downward grip. It gave me the perfect opportunity, and I took it, slicing open his tendons and disarming him in one brief swipe. The screech he let out as he released the grip on his weapon told me it must have hurt, but he was not out of the fight yet, and with his other hand, he thrust out at me, surprising me with an arc of lightning that almost stunned me.

I hadn't expected lightning, of all things!

The attack caught me in the shoulder, causing it to momentarily burn, sieze in shock, then go numb. I was weakened for a few moments, but I fought on, swiping at the human as he threw more lightning attacks in my direction, all of them either missing or falling well short of me.

My nanocloud signalled it was back online, and immediately got to work on examining the attacks that the human continued throwing in my direction. As I rolled aside to avoid another attack, my nanocloud soon determined that the attacker had a limited range he could throw lightning, and that he would need about half a second minimum between attacks.

I took advantage of this, waiting for his next attack, then closing the distance to quickly cut open the human's throat.

It barely slowed him down, surprisingly. I watched in fascinated frustration as his throat closed over with a film-like effect, and barely any blood escaped the cuts. I redoubled my efforts. If I couldn't do it with a simple strike of my claws, then I might be able to do the trick with a severe enough attack.

It worked on Lena.

I leapt into the air, was hit by another electrical attack, but landed safely, slicing my claws through his arm, grabbing him by the neck, then slicing the back of his neck open with my claws, tearing muscle and breaking his neck in the process.

He collapsed to the ground, and I watched, fascinated, as his nanocloud tried to cover the wound. With a huge chunk torn out of his neck though? It was unlikely, and this time, he bled profusely, as the wound began to film over, but the colour continued to drain from the man, and then he went still, not breathing.

Then to my immense surprise, the film that was covering his wounds turned black and a bright flash singed the corpse, as all of his blood vessels seemed to catch fire briefly.

Did his nanocloud just destroy itself?

I didn't know, and I decided not to think of it for now. Rick was still out there, and I doubted this was the last of his pursuers.

One last time, my perspective shifted to a pursuit of a panther, the one I knew we both faced a few days ago.

I crouched and watched, as a dark obsidian panther hybrid stalked a path that circled Rick. He stood near a tree, stepping around it to stay out of Rick's sight, and I watched from a distance, my own need to avoid detection preventing me from getting closer.

I also felt weaker than usual, but pushing myself for thousands of kilometres while not getting enough to eat was a bad way to keep ready to do battle. In spite of my promise to my father to take better care of myself, the need to keep up with Rick's blistering pace, balance my own instinctive needs, the fights I'd had with Rick's pursuers here in Canada, and the need to keep an eye on where he was and who might be about to attack him, the opportunities to stop and rest, or to stop and eat, were few and far between. Catching and killing prey animals in the wild had been the only form of sustenance I'd had in over two weeks.

Rick was in danger, this was no time to think of weakness.

The panther moved.

He leapt out from behind the tree, rushing, then barrelling into Rick, sending him flying.

"What do you want?" I heard Rick demand in a winded voice when he had risen to his feet.

I took the opportunity to stalk the panther, trying to slip in behind him so I might have a chance to get an early advantage.

"My employers want your information," the panther said. "They don't care how I get it."

I started to make my stealth approach, watching as Rick pulled off some foolish stunt flip with his blades. I'd have torn strips off of him if I could.

The two combatants got into a series of parrying attacks and blocking defences, and a roll under the panther combined with an underside swipe that injured the panther. Seeing that made my heart surge with hope. This panther was deadly, but now, so was Rick. He dodged and parried, leapt, rolled and skidded about the area as they fought, until Rick made a desperate move that cost him a set of broken ribs.

I winced in sympathy, and I leapt into a run.

The panther, meanwhile, sauntered over like a champion entertainment wrestler, which gave me the time I needed to reach them and come between Rick and the panther. As I passed the creature, I leapt and swiped hard at the thing's head, catching it off guard and landing in front of Rick.

"Stay down!" I ordered, facing what was clear to me, my greatest opponent. I felt fury as I worked myself up to engage in this, the fiercest fight of my life so far.

I leapt at him, our fight becoming intense almost right away, as we dodged, swiped and clawed our way around and at each other. It was already a tough fight, even before I felt the burning sensation as claws tore open my skin, feeling in that moment the fire coursing through my blood. I grew weak over the seconds of the fight, gaining a marginal advantage when I countered an obvious aerial attack that I'd managed to fake him into making.

"You break his ribs," I seethed. "I break yours!"

The move had cost him, but not enough. I was also dwindling, and despite the continual attacks I performed against the panther, I knew when I was beaten, as the inevitable slip-up happened, and the panther ripped my obliques down one side of my body, sending me flying with a kick.

I heard Rick's unbridled rage and anguish as I landed roughly, my side torn to shreds, as my consciousness began to slip, I wondered if these were going to be the last few moments of my life, wishing that I had a chance to do more to make up for my mistakes, that I could have a chance that I suspected would never come, to earn Rick's forgiveness.

Then, I slipped into complete oblivion.