It was just past one in the morning when Adan sighed and changed positions atop the bed for about the twelfth time since attempting to fall asleep. His ears then caught the sound of the shower shutting off in the bathroom next to the bedroom. Then he heard her footsteps leaving the bathroom and moving past his door. Then they stopped, and the door opened the tiniest crack.
“You’re still awake?” she asked softly as he looked up in the near darkness at the sound of the door opening.
“Guessing you can’t sleep either?” he replied as she hesitantly opened the door the rest of the way, though remained standing in the hall, her long locks dripping water upon the black bath robe she had slid on after her shower.
“Well, it is a new place” she said softly.
“Yeah, that must be it” he returned with only the slightest tinge of sarcasm, knowing full well she had plenty of other reasons for her current trouble sleeping. As did he, apparently.
“I just...” she began, then stopped again.
“If you’re gonna keep talking that quietly, you may wanna come in, so I can actually hear you” he suggested with another failed attempt at a smile.
She sighed, but it was more a sound of resignation as she made her feet carry her to a spot just inside the bedroom door. “I just have to ask you one more thing.”
Adan stifled a sigh too, and ran his hand through his disheveled locks once more before speaking. “Well, seems like neither of us are sleeping any time soon anyway” he replied as he sat up, leaning back against the headboard as he did.
“I know you’re an actor, not a liar. Even though some would dispute the difference. I know you never lie, not really. So after what you said earlier. You insinuated that...” She lost her voice and cast her eyes downwards once more.
“There’s that sentence finishing problem again” he stated wryly.
“You insinuated that maybe, possibly in some alternate world or dimension or timeline, that it might be remotely possible that you could someday actually feel something for me. And I just... I have so much trouble believing that that could ever be a reality for you and me. But then you implied that maybe, just maybe it could be and...” she shook her head. “And you can’t do that, Adan. Not if it’s not true. Not now.”
“Why are you so convinced it could never be true?”
She bit her lip and looked up at the ceiling, hoping to find the solution there. “You’re doing it again. You’re asking questions, and not giving answers.”
“Please, humor me. Tell me why you have all that trouble believing that I could ever feel what you feel.”
“You’re doing it again. The insinuating!” she complained tearfully.
“But what have I actually ever said or done that gave you such a strong conviction that it could never be possible? If I did something that convinced you that you’d never be good enough, or whatever, please tell me what it was, so I can apologize. Cause I never would wanna make you feel inferior like that. And I apparently did at some point, and I feel horrible for whatever it was that I did do to just compound all this self-hatred of yours. Tell me what it was, please Aura.”
“Your life” she stated simply.
He looked entirely confused by that response. “My life?”
“You apparently like my personality. Like it enough to wanna be my closest friend in the world. And you’ve never wanted to push me away. And you’ve always enjoyed spending time with me. And all the rest. Right?”
“I’m very lost. But yes, those are all accurate statements.”
“And wouldn’t someone describe their significant other with all those statements too?”
“Ideally, yes” he went along with her, though still seemed very puzzled by what point she was skirting.
“Following that rationale, I would be the perfect person for you to be romantically involved with, wouldn’t I? But I never was, Adan. There was one thing I was always missing. Even when you knew, years ago, that I would be your girlfriend in a split second. You still never went there. Never even let on that you knew I was willing to. Because, as stated, there was always something missing when you looked at me, wasn’t there? And now you’re trying to convince me that there wasn’t? When you’ve already proven, for years, that there was.”
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There was such a long moment of silence from him that Aura was about to flee once more before he finally found words. “Maybe I was scared too, Aura.”
She just looked back at him in disbelief. “What could you possibly have been scared of, Adan? I was the only one with anything to lose in that scenario at all.”
“You are the most important person in the world to me. You’ve always been. And maybe that’s why I can get through any of this stuff that’s happening out there now. Cause I still have you. But if I had...” he just looked down.
“Had what?”
“If I had went there with you...” he took a breath, moving himself to the edge of the bed. He stared down at the floor for a long moment as his hands tightly gripped the mattress on either side of him. “I did see how you felt. I saw it so clearly. How in love with me you were. And... And I knew that in your head I was fucking perfect. I was everything you could have ever wanted. Do you know how hard it is to live up to something like that? I’m not perfect, and you were so convinced I was. If I let you see behind the curtain, so to speak... Then you’d know that for sure. That perfect image you had of me would have shattered and fallen away. And then I would have lost the most important person in my life too.”
The two of them were quiet for another painfully long moment following Adan’s words. Aura still stood just inside the open bedroom door, clutching her arms to herself tightly, trying her best to really decipher everything he had just said to her. While Adan watched her warily waiting for her to do just that.
But as he did watch her, his dark eyes moved to the hallway behind her for the briefest of moments, his expression changing as his attention was drawn there. He then got to his feet and quickly walked toward the doorway, gently moving her aside and looking down the hall both ways.
“What?” Aura asked him worriedly as she turned to look up at him as his eyes scanned that hallway from their place there in the doorway.
“I just...” he shook his head as if to chase away the thought.
“What?” she asked more loudly.
“I just thought I saw...” he narrowed his eyes once more and looked up and down the hallway again, seeing nothing out of place or out of the ordinary at all.
“Saw what?” she asked, the worry hardening her tone again.
“Like a shadow or something, but maybe it just...”
“A shadow?” she repeated, her words coming out as nearly a yelp as she also turned to look up and down the hallway as if she’d see something he wouldn’t.
“Well not that exactly. I mean all it looked like was that something had passed in front of one of the lights down the hall. Like blocking it out for a moment. But I mean... I’m guessing one of the lights just flickered or something. I mean, it’s a little early for us to be going all stir crazy or whatever. And I’m pretty sure the power in here’s supposed to last more than two days, right?” he excused, trying to reason away the impossibility of there being anyone or anything else in there with them at all. Especially anything that had gone unnoticed for all of those two days.
Aura swallowed again, and pulled him back from the doorway with her, quickly closing the door behind them and leaning back against it.
“OK, a light flickered, Aura. That’s all. Disengage panic mode and remember to breathe” he told her gently as he moved to touch her shoulders again, his inherent need to look after her canceling out their current blurriness about what their relationship was even going to be with one another anymore.
“But if you really saw something...”
“I saw a light flicker. That’s all” he repeated, trying to convince himself as much as her. “I mean, think about it Aura. What else could it have possibly been? You know way more about this place than me. And do you honestly think there’s any way on earth there could actually be anyone else in here with us? I mean really? Let logic rule here. Think about it.”
She was quiet again, trying to beat back the panic attack and once more remember to breathe, as instructed. Finally, she managed words again. “No, it’s not humanly possible for anyone else to have gotten in here without us knowing it.”
“Thank you. That’s what I just said, right?”
“Not humanly possible” she repeated forcefully, her eyes pointedly moving to the ceiling above them.
“Come on” he tried to downplay her insinuation, though there was the tiniest sliver of worry behind his eyes, knowing what they both now knew about the world they were currently living in. Or what was left of that world, at any rate.
“What if...” she began, the tears welling up.
“Don’t” he told her, trying to push confidence into his tone as he felt her shaking as the panic attack began to win, as it usually did. He then gathered her into his arms, hugging her to him in an attempt to further calm her. “A light flickered, that’s all” he repeated once more as he held her tightly against him, gently moving his hands over her shoulder blades the way one would try calming a crying child who had just woken from a nightmare. After all, when her panic attacks hit her, it was the same fear and loss of control that usually came with the most terrifying of dreams.
After another few minutes her shaking finally slowed, at least somewhat. She sniffled and then took the tiniest step backwards, out of his embrace. “But what if...”
“Aura” he quieted her with a slightly scolding tone, still looking down at her from his place standing only an inch or so in front of her. “Your immediate panic mode theory is that some alien used their freaky alien powers to get in here with us, right?” He shook his head. “What little I know about these fuckers from what I saw on the TV, is that they’re not the sneaking around watching the silly little humans in secret type. They’re more the blow you into a million pieces on sight type. And we’re still in one piece each. My theory, therefore, is no alien here. Logic, remember?”
“But first they did just watch us. They tried to kill us with the virus and just wait it out. They are the...” she argued, fear driving her at this point.
But before she could finish reciting all the possible fears now swirling around in her brain, he stepped forward. He then did the only thing he thought could have even the slightest chance of making her forget all those fears. And he covered her mouth with his.